Chapter 9

Haruhi had been rather shaken by the strange voice she'd heard. She'd barely been able to hold her key as she opened the door to her apartment. She'd just walked into her room, fallen into bed and gone to sleep. The following morning she awoke to find herself incredibly hungry and very cold. She sat up wondering what had caused the change in temperature and was annoyed to discover that she'd kicked the blankets off the bed at night. She scowled.

In a fog she walked into the kitchen and pulled out some cereal. She placed it on the table and grabbed a bowl and spoon. She dumped her cereal into the bowl, grabbed some milk from the fridge and poured that in, too. She plopped down in the chair and stared at her breakfast. Her stomach growled but she couldn't bring herself to eat anything. The food sat in front of her looking soggy and unappetizing. She shoved the bowl away sending a splash of milk across the table. I can't believe we lost him.

She frowned, wishing it were only a dream. In her tormented mind she saw Kyouya's lifeless body wrapped in Tamaki's arms. It made her want to cry.

That morning Haruhi got dressed in silence. She'd never cared about her appearance and after cutting her own hair short for convenience she'd cared even less. She was oblivious to gender rules and short hair was simply fine with her. That day she'd thrown on a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt and plopped down on the couch. Her eyes dampened as she remembered the last things she'd said to Kyouya, I wish I'd had the chance to tell him that he's one of the strongest people I've ever met. Haruhi sobbed softly to herself.

"Haruhi," a familiar voice beckoned. Haruhi's head snapped up.

"Senpai?" she questioned. It can't be him, he's dead. But that voice! She felt soft fingers brush against he shoulders and spun around wildly, calling Kyouya's name.

"Hush, I'm here. Don't yell. I need a favor," he whispered. She caught a brief glimpse of Kyouya sitting on the couch beside her but when she looked again she saw only air. Am I seeing things?

"What do you need?" Haruhi asked nervously, feeling very stupid for talking to thin air.

"I need you to see my memories, the ones from when I was alive," Kyouya said darkly.

"W-what?" Haruhi's mind was reeling. Is this a dream? She felt someone touch her cheek gently and heard the snapping of fingers.

"Come on, Haruhi, pay attention." he ordered. And then out of nowhere she could see him. Kyouya had since moved position and was standing in front of her, arms akimbo. She stared at his sorrowful glory, taking in his wings and interesting choice of clothing. But mostly she stared at his new scars.

Worthless.

Disgraceful.

She eyed his hands with sad, shocked eyes.

"You're an angel." Her voice was barely a whisper. Kyouya scowled; he hadn't anticipated her complete awe.

"Yes, I am. Do you agree to help me or not?" he grumbled. He was secretly embarrassed to have someone see his personal life and she wasn't making it any easier on him.

"I- yes, of course," she gasped. This... this can't be real.

"Then you'll need to see my memories."

"Why?"

"I can't enter heaven unless I get over things."

"Oh. Wow."

Haruhi looked upset, a small wrinkle formed between her brows. How could something like this happen? Is this a miracle? Or is this a bad thing? I can't believe that even in the afterlife he's still dealing with the same problems. And how am I supposed to help him deal with his memories? Is he so upset that it would hurt him to even think about them? Is he strong enough? Am I strong enough?

Kyouya's image grew fuzzy. He was fading from her sight. "Basically wh—"

"Senpai? You're disappearing!" Haruhi cried in alarm, attempting to throw her long arms around him. They went right through him. He grabbed her wrist. She could feel him but he couldn't feel her.

"I'm here. I just can't control my tangibility and invisibility," he said irritably.

She breathed a sigh as he loosened his grip on her.

"Are you ok?" she asked him, it felt like such a stupid thing to say. How could he possibly have been ok after all that had happened?

"Just be quiet. I'm trying to figure out how to show you a memory," he snapped.

Haruhi mumbled an apology. Dammit, she's harder to work with than I thought. In that instant he became tangible again.

"Wait, let me try something," she said suddenly, noting the pensive look on his face. She hesitantly reached up and touched his cheek. Her eyes grew sad as she felt him half pull away. Haruhi needs to stop touching me. I can't focus. How am I supposed to show her anything? He scowled. Perhaps if I focus on a memory rather than on her…

He sighed darkly, remembering something from long ago. Haruhi's eyes went wide.

"Senpai! I see it!" she gasped. I can see Kyouya's memory!