Hello again! After my long hibernation from Fanfiction, I'M BACK!!! At school, that is...No seriously, I'm back at school, and homework is coming in piles titled 'Maths', which is just great 'cause I have Maths AND English everyday...-sigh-...But enough of my rambling, on with da fanfic!!!
Disclaimer: The only similarities I have with Stephenie Meyer are the fact that I'm female, I love Edward, and that I love Muse and the All-American Rejects.
Plot No. 10 – (Really Crap) Note Passing
Setting – A Trigonometry Classroom in Forks High School
Time – Thursday, 2:30 pm
Alice: -scribbles a note and passes it to Bella without a word-
Bella: -reads note silently to herself- Hey Bella, do you want to pass notes with me and Eddie-puss?
Edward: -scrawls on the back of the note- Alice, don't call me Eddie-puss. And you better stop writing them before the teacher catches us. –Passes back to Alice-
Alice: (the notes will be in italics) –Imaginary pout- Fine then! Besides, Eddie-weddie seems to suit you better…
Edward: No, I think Edward will be fine…
Bella: -giggles- Hehe, Eddie-weddie who wets his beddie…
Edward: -Growls- Bella, I'm warning you…
Bella: -more giggles- Sorry Eddie-weddie who wets his beddie, but you gotta admit…it's a catchy name…
Edward: Bella…-Dazzles her-
Bella: -Looks at Edward stupidly-
Alice: Oh, by the way Bella, Emmett was trying to make chocolate chip cookies the other day, and he had a picture of a rubber duckie on it.
Bella: Really? Oh wait…This IS Emmett after all…
Edward: -Sigh- It's going to be either ducks, strippers, llamas, Hannah Montana or a…um…
Alice: Come on, Eddie-weddie who wets his beddie…I know what you're about to say, so don't lie…
Edward: Then why don't you tell Bella then?
Alice: It'll be funnier coming from you…
Bella: What's going on? God I feel so left out…
Edward: The, er, male, ah…
Alice: -creepily- Say it. Say it out loud…
Edward: Quick, hide the notes! The teacher's coming!
Alice: You know you can't fool me! I'm the invincible ALICE CULLEN!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
Bella: O bow down to the invincible Alice and…Wait, hang on…
Alice: -groans- Oh no…
Edward: Uh oh…not HER!!!
Bella: I think there's something underneath the table…
Alice: Actually, it's a some ONE…
Edward: Why does she follow us around?!
TDIB: -pops head between Bella and Edward- Hey! Watcha doing?
Edward: -growls- Get out now! –Punches TDIB but she disappears-
TDIB: -reappears crouched behind Bella and passes Edward a note- You know Eddie-weddie who wets his beddie…all the punching and the kicking and the killing is seriously starting to get old now…You know that it'll work as well as your sad attempt at leaving Bella…
Bella: Don't bring that up bitch…
Alice: Yeah, I don't want to think back to the time when I don't have a shopping partner and a Barbie…
TDIB: -rolls eyes- Yeah, whatever…-Quickly throws a water bomb at the Maths teacher and disappears-
Mr Varner: -turns around and glares angrily- Who was that?!
TDIB: -reappears crouched behind the Cullens- ALICE!!! –Immediately disappears-
Mr Varner: -walks up to Alice- Well, young lady, what have you got to say?
Alice: -smiles sweetly- Um, how could it be me? I swear, I thought it was Mike who threw it…
Mike: -turns around- WHAT?! How could it be m- -Is suddenly dazzled by Alice-
Mr Varner: -rumbles- NEWTON!!! TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!!!
Mike: -still dazed- Er…yes sir…-Trudges out of the room-
Mr Varner: -turns back to the board- Now where we're we…Oh yes, the x on the right hand side…
TDIB: -reappears suddenly behind the Cullens- Damn, that didn't work…
Alice: -glares- Bitch! You almost got me in trouble!!!
TDIB: -rolls eyes- That's the whole point, Alice…Gosh…-Disappears-
Bella: -scrawls on a piece of paper and hands to Alice- How 'bout we pass notes again?
Alice: -grins- Hehe, excellent…
Edward: -whispers silently- I'll keep an eye out for the teacher again. –Turns back to the teacher-
Alice: You want to come over to my place later on?
Bella: Will it involve Truth or Dare, makeovers or shopping?
Alice: Of course! Why would I invite you over? It's not as if anything else is interesting…
Bella: -groans- Oh Heaven help us…
-Meanwhile, somewhere in the school corridors…-
TDIB: -drags a wagon load of old exam papers and textbooks- Okay, instigate awesome plan, Codename Crap Fanfics! –Opens janitor closet to see Emmett and Rosalie going at it- HOLY GOD!!! I don't need to see you guys naked again!!! –Slams door and runs off-
Emmett: -looking dazed- Um…where were we?
Rosalie: -rolls eyes- Does it matter? –Proceeds making out with Emmett-
-Meanwhile, in front of the bathrooms…-
TDIB: -piles up old tests and books- Right then, initiate Crap Fanfics!!! –Throws a lit match onto the pile, before pulling the fire alarm and disappearing-
-Back at the Trigonometry Classroom…-
Alice: -breaks off from vision- OH NO!!!
Edward: -seethes- She's so dead…
Bella: -looks confused- What's going on?
-The sound of the fire alarm suddenly goes off. The whole class suddenly goes into a panic-
Bella: -nervously- No really…What the fuck is going on?
Edward: -grits his teeth- The Dawn Is Breaking…
-Half an hour later…-
Alice: -giggles- Rosalie! Emmett!! What the bloody hell happened to you?
Rosalie: -in a half-buttoned shirt and wrinkled skirt- We didn't hear the fire alarm…
Emmett: -with only his cargo pants on- Yeah, we were in the janitor's closet…Finishing off our biology homework…-Glares at a couple of passing boys who were checking out Rosalie-
Bella: -winces- Do I even want to know?
Edward: -shakes head- No, you don't, my sweet. –Kisses her forehead-
Chief Swan: -walks out of the smoking building with a half-burnt Geography textbook- Okay, which one of you did this? Was it you, Edward? –Glares at him-
Edward: -sincerely- No sir. I would never do that. Besides, Alice and Bella –gestures to them- can confirm that I was in the classroom, along with Mr Varner…
Emmett: -grins- Besides, I swore I saw that Newton kid with a box of matches and some old exam papers walking in the corridors…
Chief Swan: -mutters- Thanks a lot. –Walks off towards Mike-
TDIB: -appears- Hey HEY, Kids!!! –Surveys the smoking building and whistles- Wow, I didn't expect to do THAT much damage…How much is it going to cost?
Edward: No much…just about twenty thousand or something…
TDIB: -punches air- SCORE!!! That was AWESOME!!! –Dances around spastically-
Jasper: Honestly, why did you do that for?
TDIB: -stops- What, you mean the dancing? It's my victory dance! –Resumes dancing-
Edward: No, why did lit up a bonfire with past exam papers and textbooks?
TDIB: It was on my 'Things to Do Before I Die' list…Plus it would be nice to stop Alice from passing notes using a fire…-Crazy grin-
Bella: You idiot! The government is going to spend our taxpayers' money on this building!
TDIB: Er…Your point is?
Bella: Your parents' taxes are going to fund this school's repair!!!
TDIB: …
Edward: -whispers to Bella- Um…she lives in Australia…
Bella: SHIT!!! There goes my argument…
TDIB: -rolls eyes- Well, I don't care. SAYONARA, SUCKERS!!! –Vanishes-
Alice: …So…Who wants to see Mike get busted for setting the corridor on fire?
Rest of them: -in unison- Me…
Well, alot has happened while I was away. I started school, bushfires are currently raging in Southern Australia in Victoria, Obama is still our beacon of hope, and the next chappie of 'The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show' will hopefully be finished by either next week or the week after. And yes, I probably will only update once a week or something like that...Sorry!