A/N: Title from Simon and Garfunkel's Cecilia.
Previously on Down the Isle…
Both Wickham and Lizzy's and Frank and Emma's dates seem to have gone well. But was it jealousy that Emma felt, on hearing that George and Harriet were enjoying getting to know each other better? Are cracks beginning to show in the unlikely pairing of Anne and Elton? And what about Mary and Edmund — has what they got up to last night changed their relationship?
"Who are you texting?" When she didn't immediately reply, Tom leaned over to peek at Jane's phone. "Harris? Who the hell is Harris?"
"You don't know him," said Jane, moving away from Tom.
"You're right; I don't bloody know him. For all I know, he could be a serial killer."
Jane didn't reply.
"Care to tell me who he is?"
"No one important," said Jane, continuing to text.
"No one important? You're missing the Down the Isle intro for him!"
Jane put her phone face-down on the coffee table. "Happy now?"
"Ecstatic," snapped Tom.
Edmund wasn't there when Mary woke at what was a godawful early hour, but as she blearily fumbled for her watch, she found a piece of paper on his pillow.
She smiled and reached for it.
Last night was amazing. I didn't want to wake you, but if you're up now, I'll be on the terrace until breakfast. Come and find me?
Mary berated herself for feeling almost giddy as she washed, dressed and fixed her hair. With a final glance at the rest of the room, and satisfied that no one else was awake, she made her way up the stairs to the terrace.
She knocked on the open door. "Good morning."
Edmund, who was standing at the side looking out at the rest of the villa, almost jumped at the sound. He turned around to see her standing by the door.
"I got your note," said Mary conversationally, as she walked towards him. "You know, it better be for a good reason that you left our very warm bed and dragged me out here to talk to you, because now that we're up here we can hardly — "
"Mary," interrupted Edmund, and she stopped talking because he almost never did that. He looked excited and nervous — his cheeks were flushed with spots of red and his eyes were practically glowing — "I have to tell you something."
"OK," said Mary slowly.
Edmund sucked in a breath. "Mary. I should've told you this before we, um — "
"Slept together," Mary put in.
"Right," said Edmund, and turned even more red. Mary could feel her formerly stone-cold heart soften at the sight. "But I have to tell you, that what you mean to me — you're special. And I really hope we're on the same page — I mean, obviously you wouldn't have slept with me if you didn't feel at least slightly the same way — " he frowned — "not that there's anything wrong with women having casual sex, or anyone, that's not the point — " He let out a breath. "I've never felt like this about anyone, ever. And I just wanted to know — if you want to tell me — do you? As well?"
"Edmund," said Mary. She wrapped her arms around his neck as if to steady him. "Of course I feel the same way."
"You do?"
"Yes. Don't worry. That was the least casual sex I've ever had."
He laughed and tucked her head into the crook of his neck. She nodded towards the door. "Now, can we go into the lounge and make out until someone comes in?"
"So, Mary," said Lizzy, later that morning, when everyone was awake. The girls had formed a circle of judgement on the lawn, and Mary was on the stand. "Methinks you have some good news for us."
"Oh, Christ," said Mary. She sipped her blueberry smoothie. "I told Edmund to be quiet."
No one said anything for a moment, and then Harriet, Anne and Lizzy burst into giggles.
"Wait, what's going on?" asked Emma impatiently.
Lizzy raised her eyebrows. "You don't know? Maybe you and Frank were preoccupied last night too."
"By the sounds of it, so was Mary," Emma shot back. She turned to Mary. "Did you have sex?"
"Yes," said Mary simply.
"Mary!" "Seriously?" "Oh my God!"
Mary grinned and looked at her watch. "All right, you have one minute to ask anything you want, and then I'm done talking about this. Starting… now."
Emma asked the most important question first. "How was it?"
"Excellent," said Mary. She put on a 1960s screen siren voice. "Edmund's a very generous lover."
"Gross," said Lizzy cheerfully. "How many times did you do it?"
"Lizzy!" said Anne.
"Twice," said Mary. "Lizzy, you've just forfeited your right to talk."
"Do you really like him?" asked Harriet, just as Anne asked, "So is it pretty serious between you two?"
Mary blushed.
"That's the question that makes you blush?" said Emma.
Lizzy mouthed her disapproval.
"I'm weird about feelings," grumbled Mary. "Yes, it is serious. This morning he left a note telling me to come to the terrace, and then I went, and he rambled a lot and said that he'd never felt this way about someone."
"You're smiling!" said Emma. "Mary, you're mad about him."
"I definitely feel mad," she muttered. "Ugh." She pressed her hat to her face so nobody could see her blush. Her voice came out in a muffle. "I think I know why I've never dated anyone like him. I was waiting for the right time."
"Aww." This from everyone, Lizzy excepted.
Emma removed Mary's hat. "Stop cheating. Do you see yourself staying with him after we leave this place?" she asked.
Mary looked more uncomfortable than any of them had ever seen her, including last night when she accidentally ate a chili.
"Yes," she said, after a few moments' thought. "Is that stupid? I mean, God only knows what's about to happen — someone perfect for him could walk in, or someone perfect for me, and it could all go wrong."
"What if someone did?" asked Anne.
Mary knew what her answer was.
"It wouldn't matter," she said softly. "I'm only interested in him."
All anyone was talking about for the next half an hour was the fact that last night, Mary and Edmund became the first couple on the isle to sleep together.
Over by the pool, Wickham and Lizzy lounged on deck chairs.
"Pretty wild, huh?" said Wickham. "About Mary and Edmund going all the way."
"Pretty wild," agreed Lizzy. "But it was bound to happen. They've been together since the start, and they're obviously really into each other."
Wickham scooted over and looked into her eyes. "Are they? I know he is, but she's kind of difficult to read."
"Is she?" asked Lizzy.
"Mm-hmm. But I think I'm getting the right signals."
Lizzy swallowed. "We're not talking about Edmund and Mary any more, are we?"
"Do you want to be?"
Lizzy smiled. "No."
"Ugh," said Jane feelingly.
Anne, Elton, George and Harriet were spread around the living room furniture indoors.
"I totally heard noises," said Elton, as if it were a bragging point. Since Elton and Anne's bed was right next to Mary and Edmund's, it was sadly not implausible.
"Were you listening?" said Anne incredulously.
Elton looked as if he didn't want to answer that question.
"Mary says she's pretty serious about him," said Harriet, directing the conversation to more wholesome places. She sighed happily. "She said that it was different this time, and that he's special… aw, I think they're really great together."
George kissed the top of her head. "You're so sweet, did you know that?"
Elton and Anne looked distinctly uncomfortable.
Having found themselves in similar places in their respective relationships, and with news of Mary and Edmund's night having altered the energy in the villa, Anne, Lizzy and Emma decided that that afternoon was a good time to sit around the kitchen, eat cookies and overanalyse their love lives.
"I do like him," said Anne. "When we're alone he's so thoughtful and a really nice guy, but it's just…"
"You don't see a future with him," Emma finished.
"Right," said Anne. "But I thought I did once, with my ex, and I was obviously wrong. So I don't think I know anything."
"Is this The Ex?" asked Lizzy.
"What?" asked Emma. "Who's The Ex?"
Anne looked pained. "Um."
Lizzy clapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh God, I'm so sorry, was I not meant to — "
"No, it's fine," said Anne easily, waving a hand. "Honestly, it was just a dumb teenage relationship that I haven't — anyway." She told the story as if it had happened to someone else. "I was with this guy from when we were fourteen to eighteen, but we broke it off because he went to join the navy and I didn't. He became a navy engineer and I could've been a navy doctor, but it just wasn't the life I wanted. Also," she added offhandedly, "I hate swimming."
"And he got mad at you for not going with him? What a dickhead," said Emma.
"Um, well, not exactly like that," said Anne. "I broke it off with him. I didn't think it could work, what with me doing med at uni, and him in the navy, and no end-point where he'd quit, or I'd go out there."
"Oh," said Emma.
"In summary, we haven't seen each other since, and he's The Ex because he's the only one I have."
Emma looked shocked. "The only one you have? Anne Elliot, if you've been holding back on romance because of this one guy — oh my God , don't tell me you're still in love with him?"
"Obviously not," said Anne wryly. "That would be insane. But there you go: that's why I'm on this show. Because I'm worried for myself."
That last sentence was said with Anne's characteristic self-deprecating humour, but even she didn't laugh. There was a silence. On a day with the romantic hopefulness of this one, Anne's tale of her ex had been a reminder that life was usually not a fairy tale. Emma felt that if there was any justice in the world, The Ex would parachute down to the isle tomorrow, still in love with Anne and they'd live happily ever after. But from what Anne had said, all ties between them were severed. He'd almost definitely moved on.
"Enough of my tragic past," said Anne. "Emma, how's it going with you and Frank?"
Emma blushed, which she never did, and said a single, cryptic: "Good."
"She got it on last night," said Lizzy, sipping orange juice.
"Lizzy!" said Emma, swatting her. But she didn't deny it. "OK, not as far as Edmund and Mary, but definitely…"
"There was action," said Anne.
"Yes."
Anne and Lizzy looked at each other, but Emma seemed determined not to say more.
"Fine," said Lizzy. She changed the subject. "So I'm still sharing a bed with Will, but it's so sexless it means nothing." She didn't notice the glance exchanged between Anne and Emma. "But I think if Wickham asked…"
"You would?"
"Sleep in the same bed as him, and only if he asked," said Lizzy, shooting down their gleeful comments. "Jesus Christ, I've still only known him two days."
"But two days here feels like two weeks," said Emma teasingly. "Lizzy, own up. You're attracted to him."
"Of course I'm attracted to him," grumbled Lizzy. One would think she was talking about an annoying colleague, not the guy she fancied. "Just look at him."
They looked over to the pool, where at that very moment Wickham was preparing to perform a jackknife. Just before he dived, he looked over, caught Lizzy's eye and winked.
She felt washed over with giddy feelings. "He's so damn charming," she said. "I can't help myself."
On such a day as this, in the evening something dramatic was bound to happen.
"Darlings!" said Yvonne Leblanc-Wu — really, who else could it be? — as the contestants stood around the fire pit. She was dressed with a boldness that served as a middle finger up to the tabloid stories about her recent romantic difficulties.
"It's been so long since I've seen you all. Don't you think it's about time for a recoupling, followed by a dumping? And I think the girls should choose this time." She added, with a slice of bitterness, "It's so rare that anyone ever listens to us."
Perhaps the tabloids weren't completely off the mark.
"Well, shit," said Will, after Yvonne had left and the group had dispersed. He, George, Mary and Emma were sitting together, and each represented uniquely different reactions to the recoupling news. His was the most pessimistic.
Then he shrugged. "I've been on life support since day three, so this was a long time coming."
"I'm going to miss you, man," said George. "Iceland this winter, yeah?"
"Course, brother."
They clinked glasses. "To my last 24 hours."
"Gallows humour is not productive," said Emma.
Will gave her his usual unimpressed look. "Are you going to save me by coupling up with me?"
"No, but maybe, um…"
She trailed off, defeated by the hopelessness of Will's situation.
"Exactly," said Will.
Mary sighed and said what they were all thinking. "Maybe you should've tried harder with Lizzy."
They looked over to where Lizzy and Wickham stood by the kitchen, Lizzy doubled over in laughter, and each felt the key turn in Will's prison-lock.
He lifted his glass. "So, it's been good knowing you all."
Jane cleared her throat when the episode ended. Tom had said barely anything for the whole hour, and she didn't know whether to poke it or to leave it.
She decided to poke. "Are you all right?"
He smiled his usual wide grin, but after an hour of not talking, one smile was not going to convince Jane that everything was peachy.
"Just tired," he said, as if that was a satisfying explanation.
Jane nodded.
"It looks like Will's time is up, then," she said.
"Looks like it," agreed Tom.
"Maybe there's room for another lawyer," said Jane proddingly. Tom joked all the time about going on the show. There were plenty of replies he could make to that. She was practically blowing the conversation wide open.
He chose one she did not expect. "You think my love life is so bad I need to go on reality TV?"
"What? Tom, it was a joke. Hey, are you all right? Is this about Pauline?"
"No," said Tom, annoyed, and Jane felt affronted. She hadn't done anything wrong. "That's the problem. It wasn't about Pauline. It wasn't anything about her."
And with that, he walked out the room.
A/N: Oh no! Will's going to be booted off! Or is he?
I know nothing about the navy. I only know what a jackknife is from High School Musical 2: The Book of the Film. You get a sarcastic congratulations if you can guess who The Ex is. I know these chapters of late feel a bit filler-y, but a) I'm staying true to the nature of reality TV and b) I promise you there's some real whoppers coming. Please leave a review if you'd like, and you can always find me on Tumblr (loversinfiniteness) to ask questions, lavish praise or just to chat!