Disbeliever

Madeline was once more in the magical forest from her dreams as she stood transfixed in the clearing. Signs of life all around her yet she didn't feel any of it.

She was numb.

Body and soul.

She didn't even bother to look up as a rustling could be heard several yards behind her. She ignored the quieting rustle of leaves and the slight snap of a twig as worn leather boots moved expertly over the underbrush of the forest.

She even ignored the clearing of one's throat as a voice slowly asked from behind her.

"Madeline?"

She froze.

Her blood ran cold as the freezing sensation worked its way through her veins, chilling her arms and legs. Her breath hitched in her throat as she struggled to breathe, to think, to comprehend the baritone voice that spoke to her.

Ever so slowly, with strength she didn't even know she possessed, she turned and came face to face with him…

"My God." She whispered as she fixed her eyes upon the man before.

Edmund.

Her Edmund.

He gave her a sheepish half smile as he nodded to her.

"Hullo Maddy." His voice was so soft and silky but yet as rugged as the forest they were standing in.

It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.

"Edmund." She choked out and before she could stop herself she her picked up her skirts and was racing towards her friend. Her opened his arms wide and swept her up into them as she clung to her dearest friend's form.

She wrapped her arms around his torso as her body was completely pressed against his as the warmth from his body radiated through their clothing to her as it warmed her chilled spirit. Her head was buried into his shoulder as her body trembled with sobs that echoed through the clearing.

Edmund held onto her just as tightly as he soothed Madeline with whispers in her ears as he ran large circles over had back with his hands.

"It's alright, Maddy. Shhhh. I'm here Maddy, and I won't leave you. I promise." He vowed over and over as he rocked her back and forth.

"I've…m-missed you…s-so much!" She cried into his chest as her tears stained his cotton tunic. Just as she uttered those words she stumbled forward as she saw that was embracing thin air.

Edmund had vanished.

"Edmund? Where are you? Ed?" She cried out into the forest as its serene atmosphere taunted her with its sickeningly sweet peacefulness.

Madeline, was once more, alone.

"Edmund!" Madeline cried out in a strangled voice as she sprung up from bed. Drenched in cold sweat with her mattered to her cheeks and tears cascading down her cheeks, she was a horrific sight to behold.

"Maddy?" A voice asked as she eagerly looked to the keeper of the voice but sighed disappointedly when she saw it was only Daphne who was now sitting up in bed.

"Oh, it's you." She murmured as she sank back down onto her bed as Daphne raised an eyebrow and went to her friend's side.

"Of course it's me. Who else would it be?" She asked as Madeline looked up into her friend's eyes.

"I thought you…oh never mind…it was a stupid thought anyway." She murmured as she looked away from Daphne, her gaze traveling aimlessly around the room. That was until she spied the black dress hanging from the closest door.

She gasped in surprise as Daphne followed her gaze and then sighed.

"You know what today is." She said gently as Madeline nodded, her eyes still glued to the hanging dress.

"Yes. I know." The words pained her more than she would ever let in. With a heavy sigh she stood and walked to the dress without stumbling or staggering. She reached out and ran her fingers over the smooth material of her mourning dress.

Mourning.

What one did when they felt sorrow or grief.

That was what she was doing.

Today she would be mourning Edmund Pevensie.

His name sent shockwaves through her body, almost as if lightning had just struck her. But his name left her with a wave of emotions.

Hate. Regret. Sorrow. Longing. And so many more.

"Maddy, we have to get ready." Daphne said gently as Madeline jumped. Daphne's voice had brought her out of her loathsome thoughts and back into the present.

Where Edmund was dead.

Dead in a train crash.

She shook away her feelings and let the numb from before wash over her as she grabbed the dress and slipped out of her undergarments and into the abomination of a dress.

Once dressed she followed behind Daphne as they walked to the church where the service would be held for Edmund, his two siblings and his parents. Along the way Henry joined, then later James, Elena and Emily walked with each other as more and more of their friends joined the mesh of young adults.

Once they came upon the church they seated themselves in pew as Henry reached forward and grasped Madeline's hand. She only stared forward trying so hard to not look at the five enlarged photos that showed the smiling faces of the Pevensie family.

More people began to filter in, all in shades of black. And just as funerals went there was of course gossip.

"I heard that the bodies were so mutilated that no one could identify them." An elder woman whispered to her equally old friend as Madeline flinched. Edmund unrecognizable? The thought just pulled at her heart.

Henry only pulled her closer to him as the priest began the sermon. Unlike others Madeline never cried. Never shed a tear, never sobbed uncontrollably as one young woman in the front pew all by herself did.

Madeline was just like a statue.

Cold, unchanging and unfeeling.

It hurt too much to feel.

So she felt nothing at all.

She wouldn't allow herself to feel.

The sermon continued, for how long, Madeline didn't know.

She looked up as Henry nudged her to stand. She gulped nervously but stood as well as he squeezed her hand in comfort. The pews were emptying as the canaille of people walked in a solemn line to the front of the church.

Giving their last respects as they past the five pictures of smiling, playful and loving faces. Madeline passed by Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie, Lucy and Peter without so much as a second glance but the moment she came upon Edmund's she froze.

His onyx eyes shone even in the black-and-white photo as a spark of mischief was captured in the picture. But even more noticeable than that was that he still looked so much like the remarkable young man he had been.

She stood transfixed, staring at his portrait. Memorizing his facial features from his numerous freckles, to his crooked nose with the zig-zagged scar. His prominent cheekbones and his paler than winter skin. She could have stared at his picture for eternity.

But it was not meant to be.

Henry pulled on her arm as she reluctantly followed her twin as the sermon ended and the procession of mourners made their way to the Pevensie household.

How different the house was then the last time Madeline had been a guest in it. The interior was the same, but it was the feeling of the home that had changed.

What had once felt so warm and inviting was now shadowed with heartache and dolorific feelings that stirred in the hearts of all who stood cramped together, consoling others and speaking of the late Pevensies' past as false cheers erupted throughout the parlor.

Madeline stood ushered in a far corner remembering how not even a month ago she had stood in the parlor and had first met Edmund's family and his cousin Eustace and Eustace's friend Jill, who were also dead.

Death was everywhere.

She looked up as an elder woman came by her and asked over the dim hum of talking and fraudulent laughter.

"How did you know the Pevensies'?" Her question caught Madeline off guard as she gawked at the woman for a moment before stammering out an answer.

"E-Edmund…he was my…m-my friend." Her resolve almost crumbled from muttering those words as she sucked in a breath to stop the onset of tears that she wouldn't let fall.

"Excuse me." She murmured to the woman as she rushed out of the room before the walls could close in on her and suffocate her. Blindly she fled up the creaky wooden stairs to the top level of the Pevensie household.

She wandered down the hallway and not caring where she went grabbed a doorknob, threw the door opened, hurried into the room and slammed the door behind her. She sagged against it as her shoulders slumped in defeat.

A stream of tears slowly flowed down her cheeks as she feebly blinked them away and wiped her watery eyes. She didn't know how long she leaned against the door before her composure was finally intact once more.

She pushed herself off from the doorframe and straightened the crinkles of her dress. She turned to the door and just as she reached for the brass door knob a small wounded sound stopped her.

Crying.

Someone in the room, other than her, was crying.

She turned back around and for the first time saw two twin beds and a young woman curled into a protective ball bawling on the bed. Even though the young woman was a disheveled mess Madeline was able to recognize her.

It was Susan Pevensie.

The only surviving member of the Pevensie family.

Hesitantly Madeline to her bed as she stood at the foot of it, looking down at the destroyed woman. No longer was she in a tight fitting gown with perfectly curled hair and makeup looking dazzling.

Her hair was a web of tangles and makeup was streaming down her cheeks along with tears. She looked up at Madeline with wild eyes, her grey orbs moving back and forth at a frantic speed.

She didn't speak though, just stared. She gave made Madeline uncomfortable as she tried to be helpful to Edmund's older sister. It was what he would want her to do.

"Do you need anything?" She asked quietly and flinched at how loud her voice sounded in the confines of the room. Susan continued to stare at her before finally turning away.

"Aslan." She whispered in such a heart rendering voice that Madeline's own heart broke even more.

"Who?" She asked as Susan shook her head and continued to look away from Madeline.

"You can't help me," She whispered as she turned her head and locked eyes with Madeline, "only Aslan can and I am to far gone for his help. Leave me."

And with that Madeline was dismissed, now more confused than ever.

When would this madness ever end?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

How long had it been?

Several days or several years?

Madeline didn't know.

She sat on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest as Daphne stared in a concerned fashion at her friend.

"Maddy, you can't just keep sitting here everyday." Daphne said as Madeline ignored her. She had become good at ignoring everyone and everything around her. She just sat in a dreamlike trance all day, her eyes never blinking and her body never moving.

"And why not?" Madeline asked her voice hoarse as it was the first time she had spoken in days. Daphne was surprised and turned back to her friend.

"Because it's not healthy! And it's not what Edmund would want you to do." She said placing her hands on her hips as Madeline bitterly chuckled.

"Who knows what Edmund would want me to do? I can't even say, he was such a puzzle and I couldn't even figure him out."

Daphne sighed as her friend went back into her trance. Daphne looked around the room and saw Madeline's sketchpad lying forgotten on the desk. Daphne snatched it up and went to Madeline's side. She shoved the pad into Madeline's arms as Madeline stared blankly down at it.

"Here. Draw. You'll feel better." Daphne reassured as Madeline shook her head and threw the book to the side as it landed hazardously on her pillow.

"I don't want to draw." She muttered as Daphne jumped up from the bed and finally exploded.

"For the love of God, what do you want Maddy?" She yelled at her as Madeline met her with a fierceness of her own.

"I want Edmund!" She screamed in such a pained voice that Daphne immediately lost her anger towards Madeline. But Madeline wasn't done yet.

"I want him back here! With me! And I want to tell him that I don't hate him!" She shrieked as she hugged herself tighter while Daphne raised an eyebrow, her expression softening.

"Hate you? Why would Edmund think you hate him?" She asked as Madeline looked up at her with wide blue eyes.

"Have you ever told someone something so horrible you wish you could take it back?" Madeline asked, changing the subject as she looked up at Daphne.

"Hmmm? Have you ever said something so rotten that it haunts you for the rest of your days? Hmmm? Have you?" She demanded as Daphne slowly shook her head.

"Maddy…what are you talking about?"

"How would you feel if you told your dearest friend that you never wanted to talk to them again and then they were gone? Dead! And the last thing they thought of you was that you hated them! Hmmm? Have you ever done that?"

Madeline's voice rose once more as she cut off suddenly and turned away from Daphne. Daphne finally realized what had happened between Madeline and Edmund.

"Oh Maddy." Daphne cooed as she went to her friend who only shunned her touch. The action hurt Daphne more than Madeline would ever know.

"Fine, be that way! I'm going to see James!" She yelled at Madeline who only shrugged and didn't move an inch as Daphne stamped out of the room, crashing the door behind her.

Madeline just continued to stare forward for how long, she did not know.

…Madeline…

Her head flew up as she stared frantically around the empty room.

…Madeline…

The voice spoke again as Madeline shivered. She knew that voice. The voice that had haunted her dreams so many days ago. She slowly stood from the bed as she looked around the room, hugging herself.

"Here I am." She said as the voice whispered soothingly into her room.

It is time for you to come, my child.

Before she could comprehend the phenomenon happening to her the floor began to shake as the glass in the window rattled, the beds creaked from the stress, and books fell down from the bookshelf flinging around the room. The groaning of the building could be heard as its sound confumed Madeline. The fllor jerked this way and that as she flung downward to the floor.

But above the choas a roar could be heard as its mighty sound rang around the room, vibrating through Madeline's body as it grew louder and louder.

She then fell into darkness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Where was she?

Was her first thought as she slowly opened her eyes and found herself in the forest of her dreams once more. She sat up and slowly stood as she glanced around her, even though this was a dream everything felt so much more real.

She looked down at herself to see that she was wearing a gown of cream color as her hair swayed in the gentle breeze. She heard the rustling of bushes behind her and her heart began to race.

Could it be Edmund? Dream or not his presence would sooth her, if but just for a moment. She turned quickly as her heart deflated with disappointment as the creeper made his presence known. It wasn't Edmund.

It was a beaver.

He sniffed around curiously as he moved cautiously towards Madeline who stared back. Not knowing what else to do she knelt down to her knees and held her hand out to the beaver to sniff. Her moved up to his hind legs and gave a disgruntled growl.

"What is it with ye bloody humans always wanting me to sniff your bloody hands?!" The beaver loudly grumbled as Madeline could only gawk and gape like a simpleton.

Her eyes must have doubled in size as she stared at the talking beaver.

"Y-You…you can talk?" She exclaimed as the beaver nodded, now looking at her as if she were crazy.

"Where have ye been living? Under a rock?" He asked as she continued to stare. She then looked madly around the forest as she shakily stood.

"Where am I?" She demanded as the beaver once more looked at her as if she were mental.

"Where do you think you are? You're in Narnia of course!"

And with that revelation she promptly fainted.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Please read and review! I do not own the Chronicles of Narnia!