Title: Aftermath
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Chicago PD
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Chicago PD and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Ethan has been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Voight and what's left with his family deal with the aftermath of Justin's death while continuing to try to cope with their own struggles, dynamics and work demands.
This is not a linear narrative with a beginning-middle-end. It's just scenes.
A notification is provided at the beginning of each chapter about where it happens in relation to the other chapters.
SPOILER ALERT: There are MAJOR spoilers from the finale of S3. Early chapters will also contain spoilers from early episodes of S4. And, the story as a whole will contain spoilers from the rest of the stories in this AU, which are Interesting Dynamics, So This is Christmas and Scenes.
Jay glanced over as Will came up the steps of the bleachers, still looking more than half-asleep, and plopped his ass next to him. He immediately took a slurp of his Dunkin' Donuts coffee and half held out a box of Munchkins at him. Jay gazed incredulously at it and then turned his attention back to the baseball field and Eth's squat behind home plate. Dunkin' Donuts and Will's typical look of anger and cynicism intermixed with woo-is-me wasn't much of a good morning. So he didn't give him one either.
"For a doctor, you sure eat like shit," Jay muttered at him.
Will just shook the open box. "All I can afford. You're lucky I'm sharing. This has to last me all weekend."
Jay just shook his head. Not so much at the proffered donuts as at his brother.
He was getting sick of hearing about Will's money 'problems'. To hear that living beyond his means and making hot-headed choices at work had finally bit him in the ass. Apparently he was supposed to have sympathy. To understand what it was like. But Jay wasn't sure he did. At all. If anything, the moans he'd been hearing out of Will the past couple months were just grating at him and proving how different they really were – when it'd seemed like they'd spent the last couple years trying to find some sort of similar footing to have a relationship again. But Will usually found ways to throw in his face that their differences often outweighed their similarities.
They were a different kind of righteous. And self-righteous. Their hearts-in-the-right-place were in different places. Their morals and grey areas and right-and-wrong were defined by different calculations.
They were different people. Even if they were blood. Even if they were brothers. Even if they'd been raised in the same house.
But spending time with Erin – with her family, with the Voights – had taught him a whole hell of a lot about what any of that meant and didn't mean anymore. So had Afghanistan. So had the Rangers.
Will didn't have that. Or he hadn't woken up to it yet. Maybe he didn't want to.
You'd think he would've learned something about it just from their growing up. That the kind of mess living beyond your means could leave for you to clean up. The sort of situation it could leave you living in. But apparently that was a lesson that had gone over his head too. Something that he was more than likely oblivious to at the time – as the favored son.
Or maybe he'd just had too many years living in extravagance and excess in New York to have fucking clued into how the rest of the world lived. Dating and partying with models. Injecting Botox into the lips and foreheads of old men's breast enlarged wives. Sitting in a private practice that looked more like a spa than a medial office.
Come back to Chicago was supposed to help him erase all that. Move passed it. Settle back into reality. In to real life. Into who and what they were. What his standing in life really was. Not living as what he wasn't. Acting like who he was and who he was meant to be – and who he could be and should be – rather than acting and living as that completely prick that he'd managed to be at least through his 20s. Jay wouldn't say it'd really improved in his 30s, but he'd come to accept Will for what he was. The good and the bad. He was his brother. Love him or hate him. Which seemed to vary from moment to moment and day to day and week to week and month to month and year to year.
He was a fucking pain in the ass. But he supposed he was his.
It's just that that equation was supposed to be the other way around. He was older. It was Jay who was supposed to being the pain in his ass. Not Will being the pain in his. Though, he supposed he had the older brother prickly asshole niche down to a tee. He'd give him that.
Still. Two fucking years back in Chicago – almost three – and he still hadn't seemed to settled completely in reality. He had only changed – matured – so much. You'd think he'd been back in Chicago enough now that he'd have seen enough of the disparity in the city – and in the E.D. – all the fucking problems and challenges that the city had, that he would've adjusted to his reality.
But apparently not.
Apparently he hadn't clued into the fact that medical student debt wasn't suddenly going to disappear when he was hired as a staff doctor at Med. He hadn't done any sort of calculations to realize that his chief resident's pay checks were only going to increase so much even when he was on staff.
Maybe he hadn't clued in that his fucking two-bedroom condo -in a sparkling new development in a sought after and gentrified area of the city that was attracting the kind of 30-somethings just like Will or who will wanted to at least look like. That that condo might make him look 'successful' to his whoever it was he was trying to impress, but it wasn't something he'd be able to continuously afford.
Only he couldn't actually afford it to begin with. And really couldn't now. Not after the bills caught up to him. Not after he needed malpractice insurance. Not after he had lawsuits hanging over his head. Not when he wanted the nice car and the latest and greatest electronics and the trendy threads that he looked ridiculous in. But still likely less ridiculous than he'd looked when he was living in New York.
But it all just felt like he was still – after all this time - trying to hide that they'd been born and raised in fucking Canaryville, no matter the optics that their father had employed to try to hide that legacy. That Will was still ashamed – embarrassed – of who he was and where he came from. In a different way than Jay. Because Jay was really fucking embarrassed about who and where he came from in terms of people – not geography. Will – it was the opposite. Again.
He'd really thought (or maybe he'd just tried to convince himself) that his brother was getting better about that kind of bullshit. It grated on him less. That he was actually able to enjoy spending time with Will. On occasion. Sharing a drink. A walk. Having a talk. Maybe occasionally almost get something that vaguely resembled a word of advice from an adult man. His supposedly "older" brother. But lately his hope that they were both maturing – that his brother was finally growing up – was deflating lately.
Jay knew that part of it was his own issues. That he had his own baggage that he just wasn't over as much as he was fucking over it.
It was just that spending time around Erin and then Eth and seeing that dynamic between him and Justin. It'd just opened some wounds. Pissed him off in whole new ways about older brothers and younger brothers. And the kind of legacy any of that shit can leave – whether you liked it or not. Whether you told yourself you'd risen above that. That you were an adult now – a men. And it really didn't fucking matter that you older brother was an asshole and a bit of a bully growing. That he hadn't been there for you or that he'd failed you. That he'd run away and disappointed you – and your family … your mom.
Thing was – no matter how much you told yourself you were over that stuff, Jay knew you never really got over it. You just grew up and moved on as best as you could. But there were still scars. Still sore points from it all.
And being around Eth – and Justin – it just took him back. In ways he didn't want to be taken back. It'd affected his attitude towards Will some. Maybe it made him more impatient. Maybe it made him curter. Maybe it made him a little less forgiving.
But the reality was that him and Will – they still had the opportunity to make amends, to make apologies, to find forgiveness, to move on, to have a fucking adult relationship, to be there for each other. Now. Eth and Justin wouldn't have that. And he could already see the impact that was having on the kid. He already knew the kind of memories it would mean that the kid would carry with him for life. That he'd try to make his brother a better man and a better person in his mind and his heart – because he was his big brother. That he'd try to focus on the positive despite the bullshit. But at some point in his future that kid was going to be looking back and all he was going to see was the bad and the hurt – and that was just going to rip open the wounds again. It was going to eat at his psyche.
And Eth wasn't going to have a chance to make amends. Neither was Justin. They weren't going to get to have a relationship as adults. To redefine who and what they were to each other. To try to find that spot where they were more than just connected by blood. That they were actually people who were connected. Who wanted to be connected. They were family.
So Jay was trying to keep in it perspective. To not let his own baggage get in the way of his interactions with Will. To try to keep that relationship going. To keep building and improving it and restoring it. But it was hard lately – because there hadn't been much talk about all the shit that he'd been through the past couple months. All the fucking bullshit that him and Erin had gone through. The ways he was hurting. The pretty fucking real problems he had in his life that he was still trying to sort out how to deal with – for his family's sake. But they weren't talking about any of that. Will hardly even asked him how he was – how he was doing, how he was coping. His head was too far up his ass right now. And all Jay heard Will talk about was money.
Not talk. Whine. And whine. And whine.
He was getting close to just telling him to go and ask Dad for whatever cash it was that he needed. Because Jay sure as fuck didn't have any to give to him. And he really didn't think as a man in his mid-30s that Will should be needing this kind of money. That he should have the resources to figure it the fuck out. He should've been smarter about it from the start.
Jay was just so sick of hearing about it. He'd had a shitty enough summer. His problems that were a lot bigger than having a mortgage on a condo he couldn't afford. He didn't really need to listen to that lament again out of Will. But apparently he was going to have to.
"I prefer to eat real food," Jay told him and nudged – more like pushed – the box away from him.
Will gazed into it and carefully picked out a donut-hole, popping it into his mouth. "Cops are supposed to like donuts," he mumbled amidst his chewing.
"I don't do coffee before 10 a.m.," Jay muttered and leaned forward a bit to watch Evan's pitching and Eth's catching going on down on the field. Looked like it was likely going to be a short inning. Evan might be shooting for a perfect game by the looks of it. But he got the sense that kid went into every game like that.
"Right … Squirrel," Will muttered, shaking around the box again and gazing into it. He was clearly trying to pick out a specific flavor. Likely should've just gotten one kind since he was going to have them all to himself. Though, Erin would likely have some when she got there. If she thought she was able to grab a couple without Eth seeing and going on a pity party about not being allowed to eat that sort of crap.
"So Erin gets to skip out on this but I'm dragging my ass out here at this time of day on a Saturday?" Will put to him, apparently heard his thoughts about his fiancée.
Jay shrugged and kept watching the pitching. "You said you wanted to talk."
He could feel Will gazing at the side of his head. "Yea, well, haven't gotten together for a while. You haven't been coming into Molly's. Short on the phone."
Jay gave him a glance. "Things have been a little busy," he put bluntly and then turned back to the game. A kid had gotten on base. So much for a prefect game. "We're at this this morning," he muttered. "Then we're headed over to an open house."
Will nodded as he slurped at his coffee. "What happened to moving into her place?"
Jay let out a long breath and looked at him. "I'm moving into her place. But we're still looking for a place. One-bedroom doesn't make sense for the situation."
Will gave another little nod and gazed across the field. Jay could tell he'd spotted Voight standing over on the far side. Not in the home team bleachers and not even sitting with the visiting team. He was off on his own – away from everyone and everything.
Will jutted his chin in that direction. "He avoiding us or we avoiding him?"
"Bit of both," Jay provided.
Another nod and another slurp out of Will. "How's that going?" he asked flatly.
"It's going," Jay said.
"How's Erin holding up?" Will asked.
Jay just shook his head and slumped more into his knees. He didn't know how to answer that question. She was clinging by a thread. That was the truth. And he knew that he was the thread she was clinging to. He wasn't going to let her down but the heavy-lifting this time was definitely heaving. Some days – some nights – he could feel her slipping more than others.
But they only talked about any of it so much. There was only so much Erin wanted to talk about. There was only so much that could be said about any of it. They could talk about it ad nauseum but he knew that at the end of the conversation they likely wouldn't have said much. So instead they talked about everything and nothing. And it mostly just felt like they were spinning while trying not to spin. That they were trying to distract themselves by talking about normal things. Making normal plans. By taking it one step at a time. By drinking beer and eating pizza. By listening to music and watching PBS. By having sex – making love – and making declarations of love more purposefully than before. But somehow felt a bit more empty than before even though he knew – hoped, felt – that it had more to do with the overall emptiness inside and exhaustion they felt with everything than an emptiness in their hearts or their love for each other.
It was just hard. It was a fucking minefield. But they were trying to trust each other. And he was trying to still be that person she could trust. But Erin really only trust anyone so much. Himself included. Even if he was the only one on the list of people she trusted at the moment. So that only counted for so much.
But apparently his non-answer said enough to his brother. Maybe he knew him well enough – or better – than he gave him credit for. And Will's eyes tracked back to Ethan behind the plate.
"How's the kid coping?" he asked instead.
"He's not," Jay put flatly.
Eth was putting on a good show. Probably as good as show as Erin. As good as show as Voight. But that's the sort of thing the kid had been brainwashed into thinking was normal. The whole stiff upper lip thing.
But Jay had been there too. He'd spent most of his lifetime trying to pull of that trick. He still did. He did his best to disassociate and to not feel and to cope and to separate and compartmentalize. And it only worked as well as it worked – expect for when it didn't work. And sometimes it didn't fucking work at all.
And these days he felt like he was teetering towards days where it didn't fucking work at all. And he was trying to reassess and re-compartmentalize and relearn coping strategies. Because right now it wasn't just him he needed to protect. It wasn't just him who needed to be pulled out of a hole. He had other important people in his life who needed help with that hole. Who needed his protection. Who needed him present and clear. He couldn't spin out like the other people around them were. He needed to know the difference between he black and the white – not any fucking grey areas. Erin – and Ethan – didn't need grey areas right now. They needed stability.
Someone needed to be that for them.
"Had expected we'd be seeing him in at Med these past few weeks with a flare up with all that's going on," Will commented.
Jay frowned and gave him a look. His brother's eyes almost spoke sympathy. But Will was never very good at the compassion thing. It wasn't that Will wasn't compassionate. It was just that he saved any of his sympathy or compassion for people he didn't know. It wasn't for his family. It wasn't for him. But Jay supposed he was OK with that. He didn't really want sympathy. Maybe he wanted some understanding. Maybe some support.
But he'd learned long ago not to trust his brother with that. They were just starting to get to the point that maybe he trusted him and looked to him a bit more for understanding and support than he had in a long time. But other times it was hard. Like during all this. He wasn't getting sympathy, understanding or support from his brother. He didn't feel like it anyway. There wasn't empathy. Maybe Halsteads just sucked at empathy. Maybe it was the way they were raised. Or how they had to shut themselves down to survive their childhoods in their own respective ways.
But what Jay did know was that Will's eyes always had this judgment in them. But Jay knew his did to. Sometimes you had to harden your eyes. Thing was it usually meant you hardened some of your soul in the process. But that's something he'd had to do too. To survive.
He knew Eth was likely doing that now too. The stone eyes. Not quite dead but no longer quite human. A statue in disguise. You don't want to have eyes like that at thirteen. You shouldn't have eyes like that until later. But the kid did. And he did. And Erin did too. And her eyes were working at turning more and more to stone lately. And Jay was working at chipping at it. Break in some cracks in that concrete she was trying to put up – the veneer – so some light could still get through. Because he knew the woman he loved still had light inside her. It was why he fucking loved her. He just had to keep doing his best to remind her that the light was there.
But he didn't say any of that to Will. Not today. Because this wasn't a morning where Will wanted to hear his brother the philosopher. And if he did, he wanted to hear it spouted at him to solve his 'problems' – not in Jay's personal effort to sort out his own. To try to make the days and weeks – and even just the hours and minutes – seem a bit easier.
Because maybe Mouse was right. Maybe here it was always just too loud and too complicated. It was all these grey areas that he had been able to live in over there – but living in it here … now … that was different. Because he'd needed to move out of the grey to come back to life. To make himself a life again. To have a job and friends and a girlfriend and a fiancée. TO make a new – a different – family for himself. And lately it felt like all of that was being stripped away from him in varying capacities. That they were dressing it up nicely to seem like they were moving on – that they could move on. That he was spouting philosophy to Erin about the things they could change and the things they couldn't. The things they could do and didn't have to fall victim to. That some things come and go in life – but that her – she wasn't going to be one of them. But as much as he said it – as much as he was trying to internalize it, to live that way – because he knew it was the only way he'd survive this, that Erin would survive thing. Maybe that any of them would survive this. But at the same time the reality was that here he still felt like it was under fire. That he was still in that cloud of dust. Where right and wrong was a quagmire. Where actions and inaction were both as confusing. Where it was all just grey when he needed black and white. When his family needed fucking black and white. And they needed the quiet that Mouse said he wanted too – but the quiet that Jay knew wasn't back in the Rangers. But he also knew it wasn't here. Not right now. Not in Intelligence. Not around Voight. Maybe not in Chicago.
So he had to find that quiet someway else. Somewhere else. And he wanted it to be in Erin. He wanted it to be in their relationship. In the little fractured family and home they could make together. A safe place.
Family was supposed to be – it should be – a safe place. But he'd also learned as just a kid that that was a lie. Just like all the others.
So he just turned away. Turned again to watch the game. To focus on that. To pretend like it was meaning. That it was important.
Because it was. For Eth. Maybe for all of them. But at least for Eth it meant escape. It meant a safe nine-innings away from the bullshit. The feel and the sound of the ball smacking against the glove. The power of his arm tossing it back. The crack of the bat. The pride of the team – even if Jay thought he didn't have much pride about the name on his back anymore. But, he did think, if they were going to talk about flares and what was and wasn't keeping Eth out of the hospital in these past few weeks – it was this. Something that resembled stability. These one-legged, one-armed, scarred and crippled kids who'd endured shit from disease, genetics, violence, accidents or just fucking happenstance – but who were living more fulfilling and stable lives than likely most of the adults in the stands cheering them on.
Maybe they weren't cheering them on about the ball game.
"You actually moving your stuff out of your shit hole?" Will put to him when he hadn't given a response.
Jay shrugged. "Yea," he allowed. "Working on it."
And he was. He'd been working on it for months. He pretty much lived at Erin's anyways. He had stuff there. Now it was just the furniture. The sentimental crap that he kept to the minimum because there was only so much he really wanted to get sentimental about. There's only so much that soldiers ever really got sentimental about. There's only so much you can carry.
And Jay felt like the things he carried were way too much. And it just became more – it became heavier – with each year. With the more people he let in.
Maybe it was easier when you didn't let people in. When you didn't give them a piece of you. When they didn't give you a piece of yourself.
And maybe that was what Mouse was struggling with too. It wasn't just his load anymore. It was his sister's and his nephew's and Erica's. And maybe it was his and Ethan's and even Voight's and Intelligence's and the whole of CPD's too. And that weighed heavy. It dug into your shoulders when you were already carrying all the memories from the Rangers and the loads of all those you left behind. And the burden of the ones that they'd left behind while you got to keep on living.
And it was hard. But the load here – it was important too. Erin. Ethan. The job. It counted. It mattered. Even Will's stupid complaints about his problems mattered – because he was his brother, so that was his load too. His fucking problem too.
"Yea? When you officially moving out?" Will asked.
Jay just shrugged again. "Guess it depends on if we like this place we're going to look at after this."
Will gave a little nod and eyed him as he sipped at his coffee. "How much you paying a month in that shit hole?" he asked.
Jay gave him a patronizing look. "You aren't taking over my lease," he read between the lines.
Will sighed. "Has to be cheaper than my mortgage. Condo fees."
"No shit, Sherlock," Jay grumbled and turned his attention back to the game. Things had switched up. Be waiting for Eth to get up to bat. Kid usually managed to get on base for his team. Had a couple homers that season.
"So maybe if you don't want to give up the lease, I could sublet from you for a bit," Will tried. "Rent out my place."
Jay cast him another look. "I don't think so," he put bluntly.
"It's not that crazy of an idea," Will muttered.
"You hate my apartment," Jay spat. "You're always giving me shit about it. Why would you want to live there?"
Will shrugged and swigged at his coffee. "Because I can afford it."
Jay just rolled his eyes and went back to watching the field. He could see Erin walking across the park. Looked like she was going to pass on Voight's side. Wasn't sure if that was purposeful or if she just hadn't noticed him yet. That snub would be interesting to watch if she deke around him. Didn't think Voight would say anything about it – or to her. But had seen her make the maneuver enough at work that he did know that the guy's face and eyes said it all. It was hurting him.
That was a tough line to watch. He was firmly on Erin's side. He knew she had good reason for needing space. Knew she had good reason to be upset with the guy. The whole fucking unit was upset with the guy. But Erin was still trying to strip him out of her life. Photographs had been removed from the condo. Eye contact was being avoided. She'd hardly been over to the house. She didn't answer phone calls on her personal phone when it was from any of his numbers.
And as much as Jay completely understood – that on a lot of it he completely agreed with her stance – he also knew that cutting Voight out had implications on Eth and that hurt. It wasn't just that, though. He knew Voight – when you stripped away what did or didn't happen that night when he'd sent them one direction and gone another – was hurting too. That he'd lost a son. His grandson had been pulled away from him too. And now his daughter was pushing him out of her life as well. And for all the things that Jay really fucking hated about Voight – how he didn't agree with his morals or his way or his grey areas – he did know that the guy tried as a father. And he gave him some credit for that. Still, he'd royally fucked up and he was paying the price now. Seemed like a pretty steep price, though. But he'd done a pretty spectacular nosedive at quite the fucking velocity. The impact was going to more than sting.
Still, Jay was still trying to figure out how to deal with that dynamic. To sort it all out and his place in it all. What it meant for his job? What it meant for him and Erin? What it meant for their future? And their family?
It was fucking confusing and really fucking complicated. But Erin had always been complicated. Being with her wasn't easy.
But he knew that with all that was going on it was likely going to be him and Voight who hit a boiling point first. That they might be simmering now – giving each other space, giving some respect to boundaries. But Jay knew … just felt it … that when the blows did come … when they did boil over … all of this … it was going to be him and Voight who took all their anger about the whole fucking mess he'd made and what it meant for Erin and Ethan and even Henry and Intelligence and everyone there. And it'd be them taking it out on each other.
The question was when it was going to happen. And then the other question was what it'd look like. How far either of them was willing to go in driving their point home. And then ultimately what the aftermath of that confrontation would mean for them. For either of them. For all of them.
He didn't really want to think about it. He didn't need a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not on this.
"Been trying to find a roommate," Will offered. "But you wouldn't believe the weirdoes using roommate apps. I just want to find … someone like me."
"Then the weirdo roommate app should work out just fine," Jay muttered.
He could feel Will staring at him and he fidgeted with his coffee cup for a moment and then started digging through the donuts again. "There's this pathologist at work. She's a little strange," he muttered as he picked around the food. "But, I don't know, she seems like roommate material. Been thinking of asking her what her living arrangement is like."
Jay cast his eyes to him. "Don't," he put flatly.
Will squinted at him. "What?"
"You break up with Natalie—" Jay started.
"We weren't dating," Will interrupted.
Jay glared at him more firmly. "Natalie shows some interest in someone other than you—"
"She's sleeping with her husband's best friend," Will interjected again and licked sugar coating off his fingers.
"You don't know that," Jay pressed at him.
Will raised his eyebrow at him. "Really?" He shook his head like that was about the stupidest thing he'd heard in his life. Like Jay was some ignorant child. "You see them at work. Tells you all you need to know."
"Whatever …," Jay mumbled. Because he wasn't going to argue about it. It was always the same. Will fell in love with some completely unattainable woman and than dramatized their "separation" to suddenly make him the victim in his fucked up imagined romances.
"Seriously," Will pressed at him. "If something happened to you, how'd you feel about Mouse moving in on Erin?"
Jay glared at him. "OK, one, that would never happen. Erin is way out of Mouse's league. Two, he has a girlfriend. And three, I'd be dead so I wouldn't be feeling shit about any of it."
Will just shook his head at him that time and shoved a donut into his mouth whole. A tactic Eth also used to end conversations. Yet somehow so much more annoying out of a man in his 30s. Shocking.
"My point is do not bring his new woman—"
"Nina," Will somehow managed to get out between the dough.
"—into your mess. Leave her alone. Don't make her your crutch or your rebound."
"It's not like that," Will spittle as he swallowed.
But it was. It always was. It was part of Will's M.O. – and one that he still hadn't outgrown.
Jay turned his head, though. He'd apparently missed Erin's chat with Voight or her detour around him. Because she was now clomping up the steps of the bleachers.
"Hey, Will," she greeted. He managed a little nod, as she sat herself next to Jay and handed him a coffee off the tray and then dug around in the brown paper bag to retrieve a breakfast bagel for him.
"Fancy," Will mocked at Jay and then held out the box of donuts at her. "Brought donuts."
Erin shook her head and worked at peeling back the paper on her bagel. "Maybe after."
Will nodded and managed to shut up for a bit. Letting them stare at the game and watch the plays.
"Almost the end of the season?" he asked after a bit.
"Last game," Erin provided. "They made it into the Classics Tournament, though. Next weekend."
"Mmm …," Will allowed. "End of summer tournament. Always a classic."
Erin gave him a thin smile for his effort. Jay knew that Will wasn't her favorite person in the world either. That was likely partially his fault. But Erin just generally wasn't a huge fan of people – and it wasn't exactly like Will was a people person. Jay had yet to meet many doctors who actually were when you got down to it. Maybe most of the human race just wasn't people people.
"What's after baseball?" Will asked, popping more donuts into his mouth like he was trying to keep up with them eating their breakfast now.
Erin shrugged and looked at the field over the top of her bagel. "Don't know he feels up to anything right now. The Rehab Center offers sledge hockey and basketball too. And rowing," she said and gestured at the field. "Evan, the pitcher, is going to do that. But I don't think that's really Ethan." She considered the diamond again and allowed, "Robotics will start up in January anyways. Give him a bit of a break to sort himself out before his schedule is overloaded again."
Jay looked at her. "He's not going to do Robotics if Mouse leaves."
Her eyes met his. "We aren't letting Mouse leave," she put to him firmly.
Will glanced between them. "Wait? What? Greg's taking off?"
Erin looked at Jay apologetically and he let out a long sigh and shifted his eyes to his brother. "He's talking about re-enlisting."
"Wait? What?" Will pressed out again. "How? Wasn't he medically discharged?"
Jay shrugged and looked at his own bagel. "He was approached about it by a general and he seems to think he's got the right people lined up to fudge up his paperwork the way he needs to get things to go through."
Will gaped at him. "But … why would he do that? I thought …" he just trailed off and looked at Jay with suddenly sympathetic eyes.
Erin gazed at the down of them. "We're going to talk him out of it," she put firmly – more to Jay than Will.
Will sighed and shook his head gazed at the field, muttering, "Wow …"
And for a second he thought Will was going to shut up. That he was going to absorb this a bit more – for a few minutes – but then he looked right at Erin.
"Hey … heard you're looking for a two bedroom. You know if you wanted to switch up places and mortgage payments for a—"
"NO," Jay and Erin both blurted at the same time.
And that was about the only answer Will was going to get. It seemed like about the only answer they could manage for the world right now. Just NO. No, no, no. Just fucking no.
But lately it really didn't seem like the world was listening.
But when did it ever anyway. Why should now be any different?
AUTHOR NOTE: The two chapters before this — CLASH and LIFELINE — were updated on the same day so they didn't bump. The numbers on LIFELINE are really low so I think many people missed it. You might want to double check.
As always, feedback and reviews are appreciated.
And again, there will likely be very sparse updates throughout October.