I own a new bow, actual arrows with pointed tips, and a new whisker biscuit that hasn't been taken out of it's packaging yet because I'm too busy to shoot now. I don't own Yugioh.

Unknown

Dark.

It's all around me. It's my entire world. No light. No shapes, no color. Just dark.

At first, the darkness confused me. My world got messed up. Up meant down, left was right, the entire house could be flipped upside down and spun round in circles and I wouldn't have noticed.

Then the confusion wore off. I knew where the floor was, I knew where the walls were, I knew every step on the underside of the stairway. I knew this place, not by seeing it, but by touch.

I became aware of how small the space was. Long enough for me to lie down length-wise. Wide enough for me to stretch out my arms and have the walls meet the middle of my fore-arms. Tall enough at its highest that I could stand up and press my hands to the ceiling. But that's really not that big for an eleven-year-old. I needed room to move.

The darkness was oppressive after a while. I couldn't breathe. I curled into a ball to protect myself and shut my eyes. Maybe if I closed my eyes, I would be able to see something when I opened them again.

I've never been in complete darkness like this before. Sure, I've been in the dark. But there's always been some light. Something. The light of a lamp under the door. A glow-in-the-dark sticker left uncovered. Even a bit of moonlight leaking through the curtains.

But there's none of that here. Mariku has made sure that no light would get through to this place.

I screamed and pounded on the door for hours after I was locked in. Hoping that Mariku would let me out if I bothered him enough. Hoping someone else would hear me and call the police. It didn't work. All I got was a sore throat and bloody hands.

And I could hear…noises from upstairs. Bakura's screaming was frequent enough, but that died down as well as he seemingly tired himself out. But I could still hear other things. Mariku saying things to him, calling him names, telling Bakura all the things he's going to do to him. He'd go down a list, naming horrible and filthy acts he would do to Bakura. And it seemed like he completed every one. I could hear Mariku's grunts, Bakura's pained moans from down here. If I listened hard enough, I could even hear the steady beat of a headboard against the wall.

My hearing has greatly improved since I was locked up underneath the stairs, deprived one of my senses. I can hear a lot of things. Helicopters, television from the other room, even the hum of Mariku's oven as he heats up his dinner, me locked away under the stairs and Bakura tied up in his room.

I hear way too much. Every exchange between the two, every punishment Bakura receives. I so want to turn off my ears so I don't have to hear.

I don't know how long I've been under here. Days, I know that. I've had no water, nothing to eat since Mariku threw me in here. And I can tell. My mouth is as dry as the desert back home. My throat feels like it's constantly on fire. And my stomach is caving in on itself. It's long ago giving up grumbling for food. Now there's just a terrible feeling of emptiness. I can't yell anymore, can't fight. I can't stand up. I have to struggle to lift my head from the floor.

Bakura's punishment is still continuing, but he doesn't make much noise, except for a lot of coughing. I can hear the sound of Mariku slapping him, telling him to scream, to say something. He doesn't. I wonder if Mariku is planning on killing him too. I know he told Akefia he wouldn't kill Bakura, but maybe he was just lying. He's lied before.

Sometimes I hear Akefia in the house. They talk a bit about me, but they keep their voices low so I can't hear. Mostly, the talk about Bakura. They talk about how he had been soaked and freezing when Akefia brought him back, about the constant coughing he seemed to be doing. Akefia mentions a word that terrifies me.

Pneumonia.

Akefia says he's sure Bakura has it. I try to remember everything my sister has told me about getting sick from the cold. She said pneumonia was really dangerous, and people who have it have to go to the hospital or they could die.

Bakura could die.

But Mariku doesn't take him to the hospital. Whether it's because he's afraid someone will figure out that he kidnapped Bakura or because he's just that angry with him, I don't know. I'll probably never know. But he lets Bakura suffer upstairs. Even though he's dying. Mariku is going to let Bakura die.

Bakura is going to die from being sick with pneumonia, and I'm going to die from not getting anything to eat or drink. I wonder if I should feel scared, or nervous. I really don't. I don't feel anxious for it to happen, either. I'm just sort of neutral towards it. My only fear is that Bakura will die before I do. I don't want to be here, still alive while knowing Bakura is dead, and it's all my fault. And I'll know. Even though I hate hearing Bakura cough, they let me know he's still alive. Every time I don't hear a cough for a while, I panic. I'm just dreading the time he stops coughing for good.

What will Mariku and Akefia do with our bodies? I really, really hope they'll dump them somewhere. So we can be found. So my brother and sister will know I'm dead. So Bakura's dad and brother will know he's dead. So none of them have to wonder.

Being awake and being asleep have melted together in my mind; they're so similar. I seem to nap, falling asleep when it's fairly quiet and awaking when there's sound. Last time I fell asleep, I was sure I was going to die before I woke up again. I'm just so, so thirsty. There's a faucet with an unlimited water supply ten feet away, but I can't have any. Because Mariku doesn't want me to have it. So I thought I would die from dehydration. But I woke up again. Not dead. I guess that's a good thing.

Akefia and Mariku are in the kitchen, talking in low whispers, so I can't hear everything they're saying. I listen closely. I hear snippets of their conversation. I hear the word "Bakura." I listen to the chatter, getting a few nondescript words here and there. Then my ears pick up another word. "Doctor."

They're going to take Bakura to a doctor! Bakura's going to be okay. He'll live. I'm still probably going to die, but I've decided I'm okay with that already. My best friend is going to survive. Maybe one day he'll get out of here on his own.

I keep listening, hoping to hear more. There's the sound of a fist slamming into a wall, and if I had the energy, I would have jumped.

"Dammit, Mariku, he's dying. You'd seriously let him die just to cover your own ass?" Akefia yells, not even trying to keep his voice down.

"I'm treating him! He's going to recover! Akefia, we can't just waltz into a doctor's office with a kid who has no medical record or birth certificate, especially one whose face has been plastered on a million missing child posters!"

"What about a house call? Some doctors still do that, you know. You won't have to take him out in public, and I can pay off whoever it is to keep quiet."

"No."

"Mariku, you have to try some-"

"I don't have to do anything." Mariku has lost his anger. He just seems devoid of emotion. "And you have overstayed your welcome."

"But-"

"Goodbye, Akefia. I'll call you when your nephew is healthy again. Until that time, please stay the fuck away from my house."

The door slams. Mariku blows air out of his mouth for a minute before going up the stairs.

I fall back asleep, simply because there's nothing interesting going on. I wake up a little while later to Mariku coming back down the stairs. I don't think anything of it until I hear a strange noise outside the door.

Oh Ra, he's taking the nails out! I'm going to be freed!

Either that, or he thinks I've died and is coming to take my body. I really can't move, so it doesn't make a difference. I'm completely at his mercy. Somehow, I really don't care.

The sound of nails being pried from their place continues for a bit, interspersed with the constant plick plick as the nails hit the floor and the periodic BANG! as Mariku drops a board.

Then it stops. I can hear footsteps walking across the floor, away from the door and back again. The sound of the lock turning.

And there's light.

I have to shut my eyes against the sudden brightness, it hurts so much. I've been in the dark for days, and my eyes have gotten used to it. They burn under the light.

But still, I'm grateful.

Mariku's hands find my hair, and he's dragging me out. I'm aware of the pain, but not fully. I'm too out of it.

He drops me in the middle of the floor. I keep my eyes squeezed shut, because the light still hurts.

There's a pause, and then Mariku sighs. He walks across the room and gets something out of a cupboard. I hear the sink turn on, then off again. He comes back.

His hand is at the back of my neck, pushing me into a sitting position. Something touches my lips. Water! Oh, sweet water. My swelling tongue instantly decompresses the instant the liquid hits it. My mouth is no longer a desert. And the water is going down my throat, chasing away the fire and leaving coolness in its place.

And it's gone. Mariku takes the glass away. My hand goes up, trying desperately to hold onto my lifeline, the water. Mariku holds it out of my reach. "Whoa, there. Let's take this in baby steps. You were under there for a couple days, you don't want to get sick."

My stomach instantly clenches with anger as I remember Bakura. He's sick, and Mariku won't help him. He shouldn't be lecturing me on not getting sick myself.

Mariku walks away, and I find that I can sit up by myself. I have to lean back on my palms, but I can do it. I try opening my eyes a bit. It hurts, but not as much as before. I keep them cracked open for a few seconds before closing them again.

Mariku takes my arm and hauls me to my feet. My knees shake beneath me. I can't hold myself up, but I can lean into Mariku's grip and stay upright that way. He pulls me across the floor, and I do my best to keep my feet moving along. I stumble a bit, but I manage.

I try to keep my eyes open as he pulls me along. I can manage it now, I only need short breaks from the light.

He fiddles with the backdoor for a minute before it swings open. It's snowed since we tried to escape. The ground is covered in white. My stomach drops when I realize that I've really been here that long. It was summer when Mariku took me away from my brother and sister. And now snow is falling.

Mariku pulls me out. I'm dizzy from the lack of food, so I trip down the stairs and hit his back. He hmphs, but doesn't say anything else. He begins to pull me along the yard.

"See that?" Mariku points to the fence. I look. The fence has been topped with loops of wire. "Electrified barbed wire. It won't kill you, but I wouldn't advise touching."

The sight of the shed just depresses me. I thought I'd never have to go back. When we get closer I see that Mariku has nailed boards over the windows. So we can't look out anymore.

We get to the door. There's a new keypad next to the frame, kinda like the ones on the storage rooms at the museum Father works at.

Mariku taps some numbers in, but he holds me in back so I can't see. The keypad lets out two high-pitched beeps. Then he reaches up to his neck, unclasping a thin gold chain and sliding his key off. "Bakura told me how you two got out. You gotta have both the code and the key to get out now, good luck getting either."

The door swings open, and Mariku pushes me forward onto the floor. I look up from the ground. The shed looks different. Because there's no sunlight, sure, but also because Bakura's not here.

I hear footsteps, and then the door closes. I look back. Mariku is carefully locking the door back up. He puts the key back on his necklace. I notice that the keypad on the inside has no numbers. Just white squares.

Mariku turns and looks at me. His face is angry, but his eyes look sad.

He turns away and starts moving towards the fridge. "Sit down. I'll get you something to eat, then we can talk."

I'm shaking, but I crawl over to the chair and pull myself into it. Mariku opens the fridge and takes something out. He must have gone shopping and stocked it. I guess I should be a little happy. He wasn't intending to kill us.

He bangs some pans around and goes over to the stove, slamming the pan down and turning the burner on. He drops a piece of red meat into the pan, and it sizzles. My heart sinks. He's going to make me eat meat, but what can I do? I'm so hungry. I need the food. I need whatever Mariku gives me.

Mariku makes me a burger, which a bun and cheese and everything. He takes a can of Sprite out of the fridge and brings it over to the table. I look up at him, silently begging for my food. He stares down at me dispassionately.

"You understand why I withheld food and water from you, right Marik?"

I nod, just wanting the food.

"Then tell me. Why did you deserve this punishment?"

I can't answer a question like that right now! I'm so hungry, I can't think of anything else. Maybe after my food…

"Well, Marik?"

I just have to think of an answer that'll make him happy. Then I can have my food. Then I can eat…

"Because…" I try to say. It's hard. My voice is quiet. I swallow, hoping that it will help. "Because I tried to run away."

"And why was that a bad decision?"

I start to cry a bit, but I try not to show it. "Because it hurt other people."

That's true. It hurt Bakura.

Mariku shifts. I think he likes my answer a little better than my previous ones. "Correct, Marik, you did hurt other people. You know you hurt Bakura, since he's been sick, but you also hurt Akefia and myself. You rejected us, and everything we've done for you."

I look down at my lap. I don't want Mariku to see that I'm crying. Mariku continues.

"But you would have caused a lot more pain if your plan worked. To me, to Akefia, to Bakura, even to yourself. Marik, I take care of you, I feed you and give you all of this-" he gestures to the shed. "-because I love you. But you tried to reject my love and run away, so I had to show you what life would be like without my love. It isn't nice, is it?"

I shake my head.

"I thought so. So Marik, I sincerely hope that you've learned your lesson, because if you try to leave a second time," He sets the plate and Sprite down in front of me. I have to force myself from tearing into the food as Mariku leans his face in, our noses nearly touching. "I will make you beg to die. I will hunt down that brother and sister you seem to love so much, and I'll slit their throats. And I'll make you watch. I'll torture you like I do Bakura now. I will make your life a living hell. I don't want to do this to you, my Marik, so please don't make me."

He sits back in his chair, a satisfied smile on his face. He keeps his eyes intently set on my face.

His threat has left me shaking. He'd…hurt Rishid and Ishizu? But why? They haven't done anything. Haven't they been through enough?

Mariku begins to look impatient. I pick up the burger, trying not to gag. I can do this. I have to be compliant now. For my family.

I take a bite. It's…good. I actually really like the taste, but then I remember it's made from the corpse of a dead animal and I have to force myself not throw up the nothing that's in my stomach.

I chew, and force the meat down. I take another bite, then another.

Finally, the entire burger is gone and my stomach is hurting. Mariku stands up and walks around the table.

"There we go. You really are a good boy when you behave." He presses his lips to my forehead. "I'm going to go back to Bakura now, hopefully he'll be healed up soon and he can move back in with you." He pauses to look around the room. "Yeah. I'll have Bakura back in here soon. Don't worry about him."

He tells me he loves me again as he walks out, locking the door once with his key and electronically locking me in. I hear the beep beep. I wonder if I can believe Mariku. I wonder if Bakura is really going to get better like he said. Even though he told me not to, I worry.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Evening

I can't stand being here. I just can't. I can't be here alone. I don't know how Bakura did it for so long. I'm going crazy.

It's too quiet in here. I never realized exactly how quiet. I think Bakura once mentioned to me that when Mariku was insulating the walls, before Bakura was brought here, he soundproofed the entire shed. Which makes sense. I haven't heard a lot of outside noises since I got here. But I guess I just never noticed it, because Bakura has always been here. Even though Bakura doesn't talk a whole lot, he still makes noise.

But now Bakura's not here. And all I can hear is the hum of the refrigerator. I keep the television on constantly, even when I'm trying to sleep, just to hear someone's voice. It drives me crazy.

I'm also dying to talk to someone else. Mariku comes in every night, but he doesn't talk to me much. He also doesn't want to have sex, which is weird. He sits on the couch and has me sit on his lap. Sometimes he wraps his arms around my waist and just holds me like that, but usually he wants to make out. I think it's really gross, but Mariku likes it, so I just try not to think about it too much.

I want to ask Mariku how Bakura's doing, but I'm too afraid to ask. He seems distracted. He's not as smiley as before. I can't tell if that's because he's still angry with us or because he just doesn't like to be away from Bakura when he's so sick. I almost tell him not to come and see me, so he can stay with Bakura and make sure he gets better, but I don't think I could go even a day without at least some interaction. I feel guilty and selfish-don't I want Bakura to get better?

My days are filled with watching TV and sleeping. There's nothing else to do. I can't read, I can't work on schoolwork. I'm just too filled up with worry. I can't concentrate. I have to distract myself. Somehow.

I do keep the shed cleaned up and organized. Bakura will be so happy when he gets back. He's always hated how I disorganize everything.

I wait for Mariku to bring Bakura up when he visits, but he never does. So I don't know when Bakura is coming back.

Mariku looks especially tired today. I can see the dark circles underneath his eyes. When he sits down at the table, he presses his fingers to his temples like he's in pain.

He's been like this a lot lately. Tired and restless. But it's worse today.

I shift uncomfortably.

"Is something wrong?" I ask carefully. Bakura is on my mind. Bakura, Bakura, Bakura. When Bakura gets back, then I can stop worrying. But as long as Bakura is away from me, I can't relax.

"Yeah, something is fucking wrong." Mariku snaps. He looks up to glare at me for a second before returning his fingers to his temples again.

I look down. I have to ask. I need to know.

"How's Bakura?" I ask.

Mariku looks up at me, anger evident in his eyes. "How's Bakura? How's Bakura?! Well, he's coughing up blood, and I had to get a nebulizer so he'd have an easier time breathing. He can't talk. He just lays there, struggling to breath." He closes his eyes, running a hand through his spiky hair. "He can't eat anything anymore. He can barely retain fluids. I stay up half the night just to make sure his chest keeps moving. He's dying, Marik." He covers his face with his hand. "Oh god, he's dying…"

I've had the wind knocked out of me before. The only instant that sticks out in my mind is last year, helping Rishid hang up Christmas lights on the roof. Ishizu didn't want me climbing up and down the ladder when it was icy out; she didn't want Rishid doing it either but she couldn't really tell him what to do. Rishid promised he'd keep me safe but I did slip off, once. I was close to the ground and I wasn't hurt, but I had to lie there for a while, just trying to catch my breath.

That's how I feel now. No air. None. I can't breathe. Maybe this is fitting. This is how Bakura feels right now.

"Haven't you tried a doctor?" I whisper. I ignore how angry Mariku got when Akefia suggested it a few days ago. All that matters is Bakura, and Bakura getting better.

Mariku takes his hand away from his face. "No. No, god, I can't take him to a doctor. Not without someone figuring out who he is." Mariku gets up, pacing around the room like a caged puppy. "They'd take you boys away from me. They'd never let me see you again. I'd go back to prison. I can't…" He stops abruptly, covering his face with both his hands.

He stands there for a moment, before suddenly ripping his hands from his face. He whirls around, glaring venomously at me. "It's all your fault, you know." He spits, his lip curling. "If you hadn't come up with that stupid plan, Bakura wouldn't have fallen into the pond and he would be fine now."

I look down. I don't answer. I know he's right.

Mariku starts moving towards me. "He's up in my room, coughing out his lungs, and you're here, warm and comfortable. If he dies, you know, I'm holding you responsible."

"No!" I cry out. Bakura isn't going to die. He can't die. He's Bakura.

"No?" Mariku puts his hand on the back of one of the chairs, cocking his head as he looks at me. "No, it's not your fault? You don't think you're responsible?"

Tears are streaming down my face. My shoulders shake as I try to brace myself for talking. "No, I am, it's just-"

"Just what? You can't take responsibility for killing your friend?"

"I DIDN'T TRY TO HURT HIM!"

Mariku looks shocked that I've actually yelled back. I am too. I didn't decide to do it. It just happened.

After a few seconds of wide-eye staring, Mariku scoffs and looks the other way. "I guess I should have expected this from you. You are extremely selfish, after all." He sighs. "I guess I better pick a nice spot to bury the kid…

"No." I say as I move out of my chair. I get to my knees once I reach Mariku, grabbing one of his hands and gripping it like a lifeline. Mariku doesn't react. "Please, take him to the hospital, or get him a doctor, or just get him some medicine! Please! I'll do anything you want, just please help him!"

I'm literally on my knees begging for Bakura's life. I don't know what else to do. I don't know what to offer.

"Anything I want?" He mutters before sitting down in a chair, still looking sad and angry. I start to get up, but Mariku tells me to kneel again.

Mariku's hands go to his pants button, and his pants are unzipped and his penis is out. It's completely limp. If I weren't so scared and worried about Bakura, I would laugh at it.

But not today. Today, I just look up and stare into Mariku's cold, unforgiving eyes.

"You said anything I wanted. If you really care about your friend, you'll do this."

Right. This is for Bakura. I can do this for Bakura. So he can get a doctor. So he can get better.

"I don't know how." I say, my voice weak. If Mariku is annoyed, he doesn't show it.

"I'll tell you what to do. I taught Bakura how to do this. For starters, just put it in your mouth."

I grab the base of it and stare for a minute before wrapping my mouth around it. It tastes...absolutely disgusting. I want to stop. I don't like this.

For Bakura. I can do anything for Bakura.

I close my eyes and follow the rest of Mariku's instructions carefully.

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

Midday

Mariku hasn't come back since I gave him the blowjob.

I'm scared. I'm scared of what's been happening to Bakura. Bakura needs to be okay. He just has to be.

On top of that, I think I'm starting to go crazy. I haven't spoken to anyone in nearly a week. I write a lot of letters to my brother and sister, but sometimes I pretend they're here too, and I talk to them. Sometimes I think I'm hearing or seeing things that aren't really there. It's scary. I just stay in bed, my vision blurring together. The TV volume is turned all the way up.

I can't shake the fear. Did Mariku get Bakura help? Did he honestly get him help?

He had to. Bakura can't die. He just can't.

It's hard to sleep along in the bed. I need Bakura with me. I need Bakura to sleep.

My ears perk up when I hear the beep beep of the door. I jump out of bed and race over to the door.

Mariku and Mariku alone opens it. He steps in, taking one long look at me and smiling to himself. A blank look quickly slides over the smile.

He closes the door, locking it twice before turning around. His face is solemn now. He stares at me for a long second, and the knowing floods through me. And my whole world turns to ice.

He doesn't even need to say it, but he does anyway.

"Bakura is dead."

So it's nearly 3 AM, I told myself I was going to go to bed early so I could get up early and do homework all day tomorrow...yeah, that happened. Plus I've been throwing up ever since I got home from work and I think I should probably rest soon. So I'm gonna wrap this up quick.

Um, I don't have much to say about the chapter? I don't really remember anything that requires explaining. Just keep in mind that Mariku has Bipolar Disorder and you should be good.

I have finals the week after next, and while none of my tests are challenging, I do have a lot of (pointless) projects that must be handed in, so if I do not make my deadline for the next chapter, please don't be angry. I will be spending the entire day tomorrow just working on homework (Such a great use of time. Doing homework when I could be doing something, I don't know, productive. Beneficial.) so hopefully that'll put a big dent in the pile.

That being said, send me your thoughts! They will make me happy as I battle the mountain of doom and despair. Also they will encourage me to get this crap done and get back to writing.

-Big C