Dead

I don't care that I am screaming like a kid.

It hurts.

Where the hell is my dad?

Where the hell is that Hotchner bloke?

Just tell the fuckers what they want to know…you fucking bastard.

They are swiping me –

Across the back of my legs. I tried pulling my legs up but they thwacked my feet and so I put them down again. There is blood running down the back of my legs and dripping onto the floor under me and I'm tiptoe in a puddle of my own blood and over my screams I can hear him shouting at them to stop and I can hear them laughing.

Just tell them – you bastard they are going to kill me over some words you refuse to say?

Oh for the love of the plutonian gods of war! They are on my back now. Over and over and I am tough…not like some little kid but I don't seem to be standing now. I'm just handing by my wrists and the assault continues.

-o-o-o-

"I'll tell you!" I shout and I try to stand up again. There is something so eerie about Sam. He could be Floyd at that age and seeing the blood and hearing his screams is just – just.. "Just stop it before you kill him." This time my voice isn't much more than a whisper.

I don't know what I am going to tell them. I have no idea. I am just hoping that they will ask me questions and I can wing it. I get up off the chair and walk slowly over to Sam. I can smell his blood and it's making my stomach churn.

"Come back and sit down." I am told, but I ignore them. I need to check he is alright. I need him to know I am here. I need him to know – to know that I will protect him as his father does me.

I put a hand on his arm. "Sam." And I can hear he is crying and I can see the way he is swinging. I reach up and try I want to undo the knots holding his arms above his head.

"I said sit down!" The voice is there right behind me.

"Let me untie the boy first." I turn to look at him but the fist connects with the back of my head anyway and I stumble forward into the pillar. I put my hands out to balance myself and see Sam has been pushed to the side so that they can grab me again.

He cries out in pain again and I again try to turn to them. "Please." I say. "Let me get him down from there."

"You are in no position to make demands. Get back to your chair or that boy will feel pain he never thought possible. Now!"

"Chair." A simple word I understand but I cant. I have to protect Sam. I have to do for him what his father would. Where the hell is Floyd? Why isn't he here yet? So I stand with my back to Sam shielding him from these people.

"You wont get away with this." My false bravado is still holding up. The fear that they are doing this to Sam because of me is holding me together strangely.

"Unless you want the boy to go through the added agony of having his limbs broken you will sit."

"No. You will release him or I will tell you nothing." And I stand where I am and wonder how I am still managing to stand and talk.

Three of them I think…I think it is three of them grab hold of my arms and my hair and pull me away from Sam…I cant see what they are doing but I hear him screaming for a short while and then silence. "Now sit your ass back down there and talk."

Again I am sitting and looking up at Sam who is swinging gently from the ropes. I don't know what they did to him. I don't even know if he is still alive. I need to protect him. It is the only thing my brain seems to want to process right now. 'Protect Sam. Do anything to protect Sam.'

I blink up at the men standing around me and run my fingers through my hair pushing it out of the way. My face is in agony and blood encrusted. My body is bruised and battered but I'm not broken. "Ask me your questions." I mutter as I look again over at Sam. Floyd will never forgive me if something happens.

"How far are you?"

The question could mean anything. I have no idea how to answer this. "Er – not far." Is all I can think to say.

"So you know the location." A statement. Do we? I don't know. "No." and I give my head a quick shake and it makes my brain roll around in my head. I bite on my bottom lip to try to stop the sensation. I really don't want to be sick again.

A sudden unexpected slap across my face nearly knocked me off my chair. I know I let out a yelp…but it was of surprise rather than pain.

"That is a reminder not to fuck with us Dr Reid."

It has made my eyes water and reopened the gash on the side of my face. "I'm – I'm n n not." And now I don't sound so sure of myself or feel so in control. Not that I ever had any. I look over at Sam again.

"Keep checking on your lovers child I see. There is so much more we can do to him if you do not start to cooperate with us Dr Reid." He is pacing in front of me now.

"I know….I realise…I know that." But I want to shut up. I want to keep quiet again at least until I don't sound like a scared child anymore.

He turns to look at me. "Where is Markus?"

Who in gods name is Markus? I have no idea. "I don't know." Honest answer.

-o-o-o-

I have to let him sit down for a while whilst I get the trunk of the car open. I am still not quite believing what is going on here.

"Do you need anything?" I ask him. He looks dead slumped there. He should be. I am seriously questioning my sanity.

"Just help me in there. I'll be fine." He mumbles back at me. I push a tool box and my Go Bag to the side then help him to his feet. He sort of slides and slithers into the back of the SUV and curls up tightly. It's quite amazing how small he can make himself. I touch his arm.

"Flanders, how long do you need?" I move my hand and pull a tartan blanket over him.

"A day, maybe two." He answers but his voice is getting quieter.

"We don't have that long." Suddenly I want to pull him out again and shake him awake.

"I realise that. Give me two hours, but you are going to have to help me Hotchner. I cant do this alone. Make sure the car wont get towed for fucks sake and get me a hat and bandana or something. Two hours. Now go. Leave me."

The thought of closing this man in the back of the car seems insane. Then again this whole scenario if insane. I close it gently and lock it. I run my finger over the back of the vehicle. I have in the back of my car one of….no probably the most evil person alive and I am walking away so I can get him a hat to cover the bullet hole in his head. I stand there probably for ten minutes trying to get this to make some sort of sense in my head but I come back to the same place every time and that is a very dark and confusing place to be. I finally take two steps back from the car and then turn and look around. He said about making sure he didn't get towed so he's not wanting me to drive. I will have to walk to the bank and get some money and then to the store for a bandana and hat. What sort of hat? I have no idea, but I have an image in my mind from nowhere. I know – I know I've never seen him dressed in a hat and a dustcoat so I really don't know why I am seeing this so strongly. I will get him what he needs. Two hours. Two hours of Spencer somewhere with people who were able to incapacitate Flanders and take Sam. It makes my skin crawl thinking what must be going on. And my brain hurts wondering what on earth they took him for.

I walk quickly. I don't know how long this is going to take. I don't like leaving him there, but I have no choice. At least I know he cant get out.

The money I get from the ATM…my brain freezes when I have to tap in my pin number. I cant remember it. I stand and rub at my eyes and try to focus…Focus Aaron…Stop worrying about Flanders for long enough to function. The number is wrong. It takes three goes and I am getting concerned that either the machine will eat my card or I will never remember, but eventually it comes to me and the money slides out of the slot and the machine beeps wildly at me reminding me to take the card. I would have forgotten. Flanders is back on my mind again and I wonder if this is his doing to make sure I go back…but he is dead. He cant be alive. I must be insane. I've lost my mind.

For a while I stand on the sidewalk thinking. The money clutched in one hand and my card in the other. Either the man talked to me and held onto me or I a crazy. Actually either way I am…he cant be alive.

And again my mind and thoughts are spinning in a circle and coming to rest in that dark place.

"Bandana and hat." I mutter to myself pull out my wallet and replace the card and then slide in the notes and I am walking down the street towards a men's clothing store.

The bandana is easy to choose. I just grab a dark one…black with a pattern over it. The hat though is trickier. They want hat size and I have no idea and what it was it wont be now with part of his skull missing. I point out a black Stetson type hat in the end and get it so it hits me tightly. I'm sure it will do him. He has lots of hair. Had lots of hair. It's a nice hat. Good quality leather but it looks stupid on me. Remembering that his clothes are covered in brains and muck I pick up a long length coat to go over the top. Black again. He seems to be the typical black hat type to me. It costs me. But this is ultimately for Spencer so I don't mind.

I pick up two bottles of water and a few apples and walk back to the car. It has only been an hour and a half. I stand and look at the back of the car for a while not knowing what to do next. I have no idea where Spencer is. I cant find him alone. Alone…I have a team I can turn to. I look at the bag of things in my hand and wonder what the hell I am doing with a dead guy in the trunk and a hat in a bag for him.

It really is times like this. Sitting on the bench at the edge of the parking lot staring at my car that I wish I smoked. I wish I chain smoked. I could really do with taking in a lung full of poisons right now. I look down at my hands which are laying listlessly on my knees and feel my nose start to bleed again. This is all connected somehow. I don't know how…but I know deep down that Reid's problem and mine and Sam and Floyd – everything is somehow connected. The very idea of involving Dave or Prentiss seems ridiculous and as for talking to Morgan about it? I pull a tissue from my pocket and wipe at my nose. Insanity isn't catching.

Now it has been two hours. I get up from the bench and go back to the SUV…I pull out the keys and unlock the door and look down at the curled up form in the back. He's not moved. "Flanders." I say quietly and touch his shoulder. "It's been two hours. Time to go."

I hear a faint groan and feel his shoulder move under my hand but he doesn't do more. "Flanders!" and now I shake him. "We have to find Spencer." As an afterthought. "And Sam." He groans again and rolls onto his back.

"Help me out." His voice is rough and dry.

I grasp his shoulders and pull him to sit and now I can see clearly the hole in the front of his face and something throbbing and pulsating. It must be one of the most revolting things I have seen on someone who is still alive. Yes I have seen plenty of bad – very bad situations, but they are always dead. This should be dead too. I bend down and pluck the bandana from the bag and pass it to him. "Here." I say…and shaking fingers take it from me. He stares at it.

"I had my brains shot out over a filthy men's room floor." He says in a slightly slurred manner. "And you expect me to work out how the hell to do this?" He hands it back to me and shift slightly so the back of his head is facing me. "Fix it for me Hotchner." He says. "I need the front covered and protected. I don't want more flies laying eggs on by brain than already has."

-o-o-o-

I don't know what is going on.

I do know that they didn't like my answer.

They responded badly to my answer.

"You start telling the truth Dr Reid or someone is going to get hurt."

I shake my head. "I don't know! I don't know what you are talking about!" There said it. Kill me now. "You might as well let him go. I cant tell you what I don't know."

"You were working on a case." I am told….

I shake my head. "I don't remember."

"You have an eidetic memory – you don't forget." I watched as they pull Sam back by his feet then released him. A sickening crunching splat sound was made as his face and body hit the pillar. Sam remained silent.

"I don't remember." I say again…only this time quieter. "Doing that to Sam wont help my memory. This place wont help. I need …I need …" I need to stall them somehow. "There is somewhere I can go…something I can take it will help me." I still don't know what but they have stopped hurting Sam for now. I have to think quickly. "I've been having problems recently." They have turned from Sam.

"What sort of problems."

"I've been clean for a while now, but sometimes, sometimes I forget things. I had a head injury. It helps me forget and it helps me remember."

"We know all about you drugs problem Dr Reid. What are you trying to tell me? That you want Dilaudid?"

Actually that would be nice right now. I very probably wouldn't turn it down. "No, no…out in the forest. Natural herbs. Mushrooms…I smoke it." I've seen Floyd do it. I don't know when, but I do know I have. "I need some." I try to look at Sam but they are blocking my view.

"Give me a list. I'll send out for it."

I need to get to the forest. Floyd works best there. Sam will heal quicker there. Better chance to get away. "I don't know what they are called. I just know what they look like." I'd smoke anything right now to get out of this.

"Very well. We have to change location anyway. Bring him to the van. Leave the kid here. No point in dragging a corpse with us."

I'm sorry Sam. God damn these people. Sam I am so sorry. Floyd…where are you?

-o-o-o-

"Fine…you want me to dress like a sodding cowboy, I will."

And hey I look shit hot for a dead bloke.