Disclaimer: I still don't own Castle.

CHAPTER 10

To say that Kate Beckett withdrew into herself after her short leave was an understatement. She was never an outgoing person at the precinct, she got her work done, but didn't socialise with anyone. The only exception had been her team, Ryan and Esposito, and recently Castle, going for drinks at the Old Haunt after closing a case. Now, however, she didn't even do that, declining any and all invitations her boys offered her for lunch, or dinner, or even free beer. She turned up ridiculously early before her shift, focus solely on her own work and directing her team's efforts until the night shift turned up, if not all night when there was an active case, and then left. She would disappear at odd times of the day, for 15-20 minutes, or she would hide in the stairway while she made short calls on her mobile, always coming back from either with her shoulders drooping just a little bit more, before she drew herself up and behind the Beckett poker face and continued on.

Captain Gates was very worried about her star detective, because she could sense the imminent collapse, not just by watching Beckett move around the precinct like a robot, but also seeing how her team braced themselves each time before they spoke to her, and seemed to be walking on eggshells all the time. She knew that anything she said would not be well received, they had never bonded well enough to discuss personal issues, and she couldn't really call her on her professional behaviour because there was nothing wrong with that. It was just that the professional work ethic was all Kate Beckett seemed to have these days. Obviously the loss of her writer partner had hit hard, but Gates thought there must be something else going on with that – she remembered how the writer would look at Beckett, and how observant he was with all her needs. She had also noticed that Beckett looked at the writer the same way, mostly when he wasn't looking, and remembered that when she first joined the precinct it took a fair bit of convincing by other staff until she believed that the two weren't an item. Ridiculous what love could do to a person. She smiled slightly to think of her husband's response to this unconventional partnership, and then decided she could at least talk to him about how she could maybe resolve or lessen the coming disaster.

Beckett was totally oblivious to her Captain's observation and thoughts, once again having returned from the loft after a deflection from Martha, who couldn't say when her son would likely be available to receive Kate. She had started to believe that he really wasn't there, that he had gone on a book tour or something, because she couldn't imagine him allowing her to be turned away so often if he was there, even when he was most angry at her he still didn't want to hurt her, and everyone could see just how upset she was. She didn't play on that to his family, though, because she fully understood the current situation was all her fault, and any resulting heartache was well deserved. Just as she was about to head out for the day, actually leaving close to the end of shift for a change, she had a call from the front desk that she had a visitor, a Martha Rogers wanted to have a few words with her. She grabbed her bag and caught the lift down with trepidation.

"Hello Katherine" Martha greeted without preamble as soon as Kate stepped off the lift.

"I figured it was close to your finishing time, maybe we could have a coffee somewhere?" Martha continued, when it looked like Kate wasn't able to respond to the older woman's change in demeanour from the last time she saw her, in the doorway of the loft.

"Sure" Kate replied, not able to manage much else as she lead the way around the corner to the nearest café, one that was still open at this time of day. Once they had ordered, and Martha insisted on paying, saying it was her invitation, they sat at a booth in the back, not speaking until their drinks had been delivered, and they were left alone again.

"Katherine, I am here on my own, because I can see both you and my son are hurting, and I can't stand it anymore. Alexis is still very angry with you, so I couldn't say anything at the loft today, but this separation has gone on long enough. I think you and Richard need to sit down and talk out your differences, as novel as that may sound."

Kate was nodding, and then looked up when Martha mentioned talking, because it was true – her and Castle were not very good at using their words, much more adept at subtext and innuendo.

"I would love to sit and talk to him, Martha, but he won't see me, and to be honest, I don't even know where he is."

"That's why I am here" Martha responded, and passed a slip of paper across the table. Kate took it and opened the fold, her eyebrow raising when she registered the address.

"He's gone to the Hamptons? Is he …. Did he? I mean, is.." Kate couldn't finish the question, but Martha knew exactly what she was asking.

"He is on his own, Katherine, he was very clear about that. He said he wanted solitude to 'lick his wounds', being all dramatic. You must know there hasn't really been anyone else for him for over a year?"

Kate blushed, despite her best efforts. "Me either. I had hoped, but, with recent events, I wasn't sure." Then she gathered her courage to ask the question that had been most on her mind.

"Do you really think I should go see him? Maybe he is better off with me out of his life, so he can find someone more worthy, not so broken."

"Oh Katherine" Martha exclaimed, coming around the table to take the younger woman in her arms.

"I can see just how much you love my son, to even consider setting him free. He loves you with the same intensity, something I haven't seen from him at all, except perhaps with Kyra, but he was young and idealistic then. I have only ever seen him happy in the last four years when he is with you. The romantic in me hopes you two can work things out and be together, but at the very least you need to really talk and clear the air, so you can go back to being at least friends. Enough wallowing in despair for the both of you. Sadly, I know my son well enough to know he won't come back voluntarily for months, so you will need to go to him. Bring him back, Katherine."

With that, the grand dame rose and made her exit stage left, as regal as any queen. Kate sat staring at the paper for a little while, then also headed home, to think some more. She had been given a great opportunity to set things right, and she needed to make sure she didn't blow it this time.

Over the next two days, she turned up for work on her shifts, and luckily there were no new cases requiring overtime. She no longer visited the loft, but still made some calls to Castle's mobile, hoping he may have cleaned up his voicemail, so she could at least ask to meet. Unfortunately, the phone was turned off with no option to leave a message. When she wasn't at work, she was busy drafting a letter to Castle, having decided that the best way to let him know her feelings was by using words, but she wanted to make sure they were the right ones, hence her floor was covered in scraps of paper, previous attempts discarded in frustration. Finally, after a third sleepless night, she decided the letter was as good as it was going to get, her skills lying elsewhere, and she hoped fervently it would be enough to at least get Castle to talk to her again, as the real healing would only begin then.

TBC