The drive to school stretched out in my mind and became longer still. I felt eyes on me but whenever I lifted my head to glance at troy I knew he hadn't moved and his eyes stayed on the road. It just me losing my mind again and dealing with the truth.
He didn't say anything for a while and then he would occasionally ask me more about California. It was seemingly the only thing he really knew about me, so he kept it to that topic. But he didn't know that that topic brought me feelings and sounds and most of all memories that I wanted to escape from but I stayed addicted to.
I only knew to answer with a nod or a shake of my head or sometimes a barely audible "yes". It complicated my mind to have a real conversation when so many other thoughts rushed through.
"Gabriella? Are you…okay?" I averted my gaze upon hearing my name and looked at him. He had asked me this several times this morning. But how would answer?
"I…um, yes? Why wouldn't I be?" I more asked then answered.
"Well, I just meant is your bruise better? You have to watch out for those lockers right?" he gave a small chuckle but I could sense the doubt in his voice. He didn't believe me at all.
"Yeah I guess" I pretended to laugh but it didn't sound real. I couldn't truthfully answer that question.
"Ok I just wanted to make sure" Troy said to me sincerely and looked deep into my eyes. I looked away when I felt the trance feeling relive and he turned back to the wheel with a small sigh that I wasn't supposed to, but noticed.
The long ride halted as we pulled up to the school. I quickly opened the door before he could help me out and reached back for my bags. I breathed a deep moan when my arm felt pain once more and tried to keep it contained from him. I didn't need more concerns.
"I can help you with those" he asked me with a small smile that was made to comfort me.
"No" I declined "you have done enough" and I grabbed my bags and hurried to the entrance. My legs and everything scorched in pain and I hide it from my face. One thing I am good at is pretending.
Once inside the huge school building I retreated to my locker and stuffed things unneeded inside in a rushed motion. I wanted to avoid troy today as much as possible. That would be hard though.
No one gave me any trouble or condolences here and he didn't have to either. I was better off by myself.
I made my through the people in the crowded halls and kept a lookout for troy and chase. I had to get to homeroom before it was too late. I walked by a classroom and froze.
Inside I saw chase and that unidentified friend of his. They were talking as usual and chase didn't seem to notice me or the guy. Why wasn't he looking for me? What was he planning?
I held my breath and slowly walked by without making a noise. Maybe I could keep staying away from him. I new nothing would be normal ever again, that was long gone.
I finally came to home room and entered the classroom followed by some other students. I took my place in the back and turned away when I saw troy come in. he stared at me but took his seat when the bell rang and Mrs. Darbus came in wearing her usual bright colors. Thank god. I can't talk to him.
Homeroom went by like a blur because I never paid attention and i looked out the window with my hair covering my expressions. My dark curls lay out on my desk and I lightly tapped my fingers.
I pushed the ocean out of my mind but of course it came back and I had to slip off into it and become apart of its ways and currents that took me deeper and deeper…
The bell rang and startled me out of the day dream to where I grabbed my books and escaped the class. I was doing good so far.
The halls got more packed with people every turn I made and tried to ignore foot steps behind me that I heard. After it got to me I spun my head around and saw the guy. Chase's friend. He seemed to not know what to say but he ran the other way and acted as if nothing happened. Why was he following me? Where was chase?
I cringed and a small tear dropped from my dark brown eyes. I wiped it immediately and shook off the feeling and current event. I went to my next class early and sat down in the back once more. I put my head down and closed my eyes. Everything seemed to spin around me in the outside world.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The next couple classes went by quick as I stayed with my head down and a thoughtless mind that only contained fear at some points and then a mix of my sea.
It was now 4th period and I was scared of that. I started getting really hot under my sweatshirt but I kept it on and made sure the sleeves were longer than usual. I had only some skinny jeans and a tank top underneath. I could not show my once almost porcelain skin now covered with bruises, to anyone.
I was still unsure about facing chase but I could not question it. I had to go or I would be in big trouble. I don't want that, he does.
I exited the room and slowly dragged my self to the gym. I opened the two huge doors and came inside to the large room. It held the cheerleaders and usual team with some by standers that watched the practices.
I took a relaxing breath and moved toward the bleachers. Slowly, as to not ignite the pain, I sat down and rested my things down beside me. I lay strewn across one row of the bleachers and closed my eyes. I was beyond tired and much needed sleep had slipped away from me when we left California. Now I barley ever sleep.
I opened my eyes when I heard the footsteps of the team coming into earshot and readying themselves for practice. I had to look like nothing was wrong when chase came for practice. I shook my head of worries as I got up and settled.
Troy was the first one to enter the gym. He immediately saw me and gave me a big smile. I forced a weak one then made sure no one saw but him.
The car ride still embedded into my head and kept a tight clasp.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Death is never an easy thing. It doesn't forgive, it doesn't leave you time to take it in and think, and it most certainly doesn't leave you with the right feeling.
And that's all that I saw as chase entered the crowded gym. His face had it all over. Anger, mystery, secrets, lies, hate, and the most dangerous. Me.
I stayed quiet and tried to regain my place in the world. I'd never really had one. I wanted to be strong but falling into his hopeless trap again and again got me to stay in one place and never dare to move. Away. A word I though would come easily. Everything has gone away. My mother, my sister, my father, my ocean, my world. They all left me and never looked back. All assuming I'd be okay and move on without their guidance to lead me from what was going on now. No one ever warned me about this. About what chase did to me. Or about how, off all people. Started to have feelings that I have never known before, for someone else.
Someone who knows nothing about what's happening or why. He wouldn't know to ask or to help. And that was my fault.
They began practice and my mind filled with the water. My water. And it drowned out the basketballs and running and scoring. It stayed with me for that practice and because of that I was about to make a huge mistake. One I would never come back from. Or so I thought.
Once practice was over I didn't follow chase into the locker room as always. Instead I was surprised by troy who came uo to me and actually hugged me.
I flinched and tried to realize what had happened.
"Are you alright? You seemed a little distant." He told me sweetly.
I was stunned. What had I done to deserve this? He was always surprising me. I stared at him for a while and racked my mind for something to say but I couldn't say anything at all. He finally spoke again.
"I'm gonna go shower and get ready for next period. Ok? I'll be right back" he said and then slipped into the locker room. I was left alone in the vacant gym. Everyone left and it was just me and a lone basketball on the floor.
For a second I thought about leaving and just going on to next period even though chase might be angry and troy would be left confused. But then a wild thought cast over me and I did it. I wish I didn't but I did.
I reached down at the edge of my sweatshirt and tuggedit over my arms. Leaving me in a tanktop. Revealing each and every bruise located on my arms and neck. I didn't even care for a minute.
I threw the sweatshirt behind me. It landed on one of the bleachers. And then I walked over to the basketball and picked it up slowly.
I studied it's curves and lines that coursed through it all aligned at the same time. It almost made me feel smaller than I was. I then lifted it over my head and shot a basket for the first time since I was a little girl. Playing on the bay courts with my grandpa before he died.
I shot a perfect basket. It swished right through the basket and then hit the floor with a small thud. I stared at the ball again. It reminded me of the bay I used tostay at with my grandparents. Not far from my cove.
I lent down for the ball that had rolled to my feet now. I picked it up again and was about to shoot when everything I'd ever kept a secret had changed. There was not a secret left. And all of it was gone.
I wish I had heard troy open up the locker door and come out to retrieve me. I wish I never took my sweatshirt off and I wish finally, that I had never been here to go through it. Any of it.
He stood there speechless. All you could hear was our breathing. And then me, dropping the ball.
"Gabriella? What…what happened?" he whispered. His eyes studied my body as they followed each bruise and mark fluently. The ball went flat and stopped its rebound of bouncing by the time he spoke again.
"Who did that to you?" he was concerned.
"I…uh…." My breath hitched. I never thought this day would come. Ever.
KAYYYYY I HOPE YA LIKE IT!!! Again I am sorry 4 not updating soon but I updated NEVER FAR BEHIND (my zanessa series) and don't forget to checkout my youtube! babynessaKiana206. I got a virtual zanessa story on it! Hehe
FOR CHLOE….. I love youuuuuuuuuuuu! 333 and don't 4get to read her story "Damaged" the best story in the world!!!! Ciao!