Me: Well, we're back again! Sorry for the delay. I was sick in bed for three whole days! Also, I'm sorry about the length and all the references and headcanons! They're just there to help with explanation and as fun facts! But dun-dun-DUUUUN...this is the chapter that will have the Looney Tunes! So...just for this special occasion, come on out guys!
Bugs: Eh, what's up, Aggie?
Daffy: This better be good, sister!
Me: Donald? Pete? Anything you guys wanna say?
Donald: (high fives Daffy)
Pete: (starts playing jacks with Bugs)
Me: Oh yeah...your vow of silence. Oh, come on, already! Gah!
(To readers) Well, I guess I should explain some things first that'll be important in this chapter and in the following ones.
1) The characters in this fic are not "toons," but rather are interspecies people that have been given a highly expensive slow/anti-aging formula by their respective companies so they can continue to act for generations to come. So yeah...these are flesh and blood beings. But characters that are ultra toony like the Aracuan Bird and some of the Looney Tunes are really just masters of special effects and illusion. So when they make references to their creators like Walt, Carl Barks or in the Looney Tunes case, Tex Avery or Chuck Jones, they'll just be considered "bosses" in this universe.
2) Even though their relationship is portrayed as hostile in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?," there were two earlier ideas for the interaction between Donald and Daffy included having them tap dance together and another scene after the piano duel which would've shown them hanging out and that the duel was just an act. So I'm going with the second theory...that their piano duel was just an act and that they actually really get along.
3) Like he used to, when he was voiced by Clarence Nash and as seen on cartoons like "Cured Duck" and "Donald's Award," Donald can change his voice if he wanted to. So there are times when he uses his "quacky" voice and other times when he uses a more normal voice. Usually context will let you know what voice he's using. And my headcanon is that the reason why Donald keeps his "quacky" voice sometimes is that according to an article, a duck's quack can be influenced by their regional accent so...Donald's "quacky" voice highlights the fact that he was partially raised on a farm and lived on the street for most of his life. (This also seems to be canon with the Alfred Taliaferro comics that portrayed Donald as 12-13 years old and was talking in rough slang.) So when he uses it, it's to show that he's proud of being raised in a hard, tough life.
4) Oh and one last thing...there might be some confusion about the whole "wings" vs. "arms" in my description. So far, I've been using "arms" to describe that part of Donald's body and I think I'm gonna stick to it. My justification is this...Donald can't fly so even though technically his appendages might be "wings," they act more like "arms." But I think I'm gonna use the same for Daffy because even though he could swim and even fly in his earlier cartoons, after the recent "The Looney Show," he claims that he can't do either. Plus, if I were to describe the ducks' "arms" as "wings," I would probably have to call Goofy's, Mickey's and Pete's, and Bugs' appendages as "paws" instead of "arms." And in that case, all of Horace's, Clarabelle's and Porky's appendages should be "hooves," not just their back ones. So yeah...that's why Donald and Daffy have "arms" instead of "wings."
Whew! Ok, so I think that's all the explanations necessary for this chapter. I'd also like to dedicate this chapter to my amazing reviewers Phoenix Ride, Prats R' Us and BlueIsDead! I really hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! Enjoy it, guys! Anything else to add, guys?
Bugs: Eh, not really. We know you'll do your best! Right, Daff?...Daff?
Daffy: (playing cards with Donald) What? Can't you see I'm busy here?!
Donald: (smugly shows hand to Daffy)
Daffy: :(
Me: Well, aren't ya gonna say it?
Daffy: I refuse to be your puppet, girly!
Bugs: Come on, Daff. Give the people what dey came here for.
Daffy:...Fine. You're despicable! Happy now?
Me: (giggles) Yes!
Donald and Pete: (roll eyes)
Chapter 10: A Cat's Strategy & A Duck's Empathy
"G-Gawrsh, should we go after 'im?" Goofy asked obviously concerned about the duck.
"No! Dat's about the worst ting ya could do right now. Just...give the duck his space. Let 'im calm down. He'll come back on his own time," and with that Pete abruptly turned and started walking back to his house.
"W-wait! Where ya goin,' Pete?" Mickey asked, running to catch up with him.
"Where's it look like, Squeaky?! Home!" Pete answered without turning around. But the mouse ran in front of him, arms outstretched attempting to stop him.
"Ya really don't wanna piss me off right now! Either get the hell outta my way or I'll pound ya all the way back to Mouseton!" the cat bellowed, clenching his fists. The whole situation had put Pete in an extremely bad mood and he was more than happy for any excuse to finally give Mickey what's been coming to him!
Mickey flinched and lowered his arms and replied, "P-Pete, wait, please. I-I know I shouldn'ta spied on you guys! I was wrong. But...but are ya sure there's nuthin' more ya can tell us about the Duck of the Doom? Are ya sure ya told us everythin'? Please, Pete! I don't want any trouble! I just wanna make sure ya didn't forget anythin.'"
Pete was about ready to punch the mouse for bringing up the Duck of Doom again until...he thought back. He told them everything they needed to know, right? The identity of the Duck of Doom? Donald Duck. Check. The identity of the one responsible for it all? Merlock. Check. The plan to go to Egypt and get the help of the Garbled One? Check. The end result if they fail? Our...our deaths and the end of the universe. Check. But he'd rather DIE than tell Mickey or Goofy what almost happened to him! It was none of their business anyway! So what else was left?
Pete tried to remember the Duck of Doom's words...and froze. "But I remember this much. I was attacked and subdued on three different levels by three different methods. There were these three vials that read, 'Memory', 'Emotion' and 'Behavior.' And they used magic, chemistry and technology to control me."
Oh no! How could I've forgotten DAT part?! And he thought back to what happened in the club before the Duck of Doom made himself known, when he and Donald had noticed someone steal something from the WWII section. All that time he and his friend were looking for possible stolen bombs, firearms or ammunition...But now his mind quickly connected the dots.
'Memory?' 'Emotion?' And 'Behavior?' Those were the WWII experimental vials! And dat means dat lady...He remembered an incident with Donald when he sent the duck with secret plans to deliver to their general but then was intercepted by a notorious spy...Madame XX! (1) Donald almost recognized her voice! Dat German accent! Oh no! How could I forget all dis?!
But Mickey and Goofy noticed Pete freeze up.
"I knew it! Ya did forget somethin,' didncha?!" Mickey cried, indignantly.
"CAN IT, MOUSE! So what if I forgot some details?! Dat's still NO excuse for what ya did! Ya coulda just asked me but noooo! Ya had to sneak behind our backs and piss off your own best friend who nearly beat us all into a pulp just now! Ya can't blame me for forgetin' some stuff after the hell I've been through!" Pete roared and was about to finally knock the ears of the annoying mouse as Mickey cowered.
But then Goofy stepped in front of Mickey with his arms out protectively and Pete stopped in mid-punch.
"Stop it, fellers! Pete...alls Mickey was tryin' ta do was find out what else ya mighta missed so we could help ya stop this 'sityation' from happenin'! And Mickey...if ya just listened ta me in the first place and just asked Donald and Pete like I said, Donald wouldn'ta gotten upset and run off! So come on, guys! Get your act together! Stop actin' like little kids!" Goofy ended in a demand, anger rising.
Pete lowered his fist and sighed and Mickey looked at the ground and kicked a small pebble in shame, but Goofy continued in an angry rant, "Now I had enough! Because a what just happened, Donald was about ta let the Ducky...uh, Duck of Doom have his way an' kill us all...even my Maxy...if I hadn't begged 'im not to on my hands and knees! So stop bein' so hardheaded!"
Both Pete and Mickey were now looking at the ground, ashamed of themselves. Then, Goofy sighed and went up to Mickey.
"Look, I know ya just wanna know what's goin' on, Mickey. We all do! But remember...Petey's been through a lot! He's the only one along with Donald who got knocked out by the Fates' eye and the only one who actually saw the Duck of Doom! We got no idea how scary that musta been! He also had ta remember all that other stuff the Duck of Doom told 'im ta tell us and then saved Donald when he almost...when he almost shot himself. Petey's done a lot for us so far, Mick. Remember that, ok?" Goofy said, a bit more gently.
Mickey nodded. "You're right, Goofy. I...I'm sorry, Pete. I just wanted ta know what was goin' on. But I shoulda handled it better. Sorry."
"I know, mouse. 'Sides, we don't really gots time ta hold grudges. The thing I forgot ta tell yas was dat the Duck of Doom was being controlled by Merlock with three WWII vials: 'Memory,' 'Emotions,' and 'Behavior.' Dose are the tings dat were stolen from the WWII section! And...I tink I know who swiped 'em. Her name's Madame XX and she's a spy! She once tried ta take some secret documents from Donald once back when I was his sergeant!" Pete explained, his rage diminishing as he remembered that handling this new situation should be his first priority right now.
Mickey and Goofy paled at the news. And after a few minutes of stunned silence, Mickey was the first to regain his composure.
"O-Ok, then. So then now we know what was stolen from the club and probably who did it. And we also know that it's connected to whatever's gonna happen ta Donald! So, now we really need ta go after 'im, Pete! We gotta tell 'im what's goin' on and warn 'im!" Mickey cried and was about to rush off in the direction that Donald went when Pete grabbed his arm.
A tiny pang rose in his heart as he remembered the similar situation with Donald just minutes ago and their almost quiet day together...just before the situation got out of control. But Pete quickly ignored it and responded, "No, Mickey! Dat duck's mad as hell an' if we go after 'im now...he'd prolly send us all flyin' through the nearest wall! He won't listen ta us in dat state he's in! We gotta give 'im some time ta calm down."
"B-But he's in danger, Pete! We gotta warn 'im! Before we thought we only had ta worry about Merlock! But now we gotta worry about this spy lady who can be as silent and sneaky as a ninja! I mean, she managed ta steal those vials right from our very own club! Who knows what else she might do! She could be anywhere! And unlike Merlock, Donald wouldn't know ta be on the look out for her!" the mouse protested.
Pete let the mouse's arm go but put his hands on his hips in irritation and argued, "Trust your friend, Mickey. Dat duck's got more fire and fightin' spirit than all of us put together! He can take care of himself. If we go ta 'im now, even if he doesn't tan our hides, he'll just resent ya more for not leavin' him alone."
Then, the cat paused and tilted his head in thought. "And 'sides...I tink we gots some diggin' ta do. If she was a spy, then dat means she's not workin' alone."
"Diggin'? Like a mole?" Goofy asked in confusion. Pete just face-palmed.
Mickey arched an eyebrow, "Yeah...she's probably workin' for Merlock. We know that already."
"No...somethin' still don't feel right, Mick. Merlock's a sorcerer...he wouldn't know what ta do with the vials. And Madame XX's a spy...she wouldn't know how ta use 'em either. And someone had ta hire her first ta get those vials. How else would she know where dey were? I tink...I tink dere's more criminals behind dis whole ting," Pete said slowly, all the seriousness and implications sinking in before continuing, "Not ta mention dere's a naggin' feelin'...almost familiar about dis. I tink dat some criminal musta hired Madame XX and den put the vials on the black market...Dat's what I woulda done anyways. So we gots ta figure out who else is in on dis!"
Mickey and Goofy stared at Pete, almost awestruck that the cat had solid reasoning for this situation. But then again...they of all people should have known better than to underestimate him. Pete's proven himself quite cunning before and not for nothing was Mickey's main adversary.
"And den...when we gots as much information as we can get...den we can seek out Donald! But I wanna be sure dat the next time I see 'im, I could look 'im in the eye and tell 'im dat we know all we can about who's helpin' Merlock and how ta stop 'em! And though I hate ta admit it...I could sure use both of your help! You used ta be a pretty good detective, mouse! (2) And you got pretty good intuition, Goof. Not ta mention some dumb luck. So what do ya say? Are ya gonna help me solve dis or what?" Pete asked, now clenching a fist in determination.
"You bet!" Mickey excitedly said, fist in the air.
"Count me in, too!" Goofy eagerly nodded.
"Alright! Well...first ting's first. You guys can come over ta my house an' we can use PJ's computer ta see what we can find on dose vials and Madame XX! Let's go!" Pete beckoned them over to his house and they rushed ahead, eager to do whatever they could to help find and stop whoever else was behind this sinister plot.
Pete paused a bit before following them. He sadly glanced in the direction the drake went in, now probably long gone. Next time I see ya, Ducky...I'll have lots more tings ta tell ya! And den we'll come up with a plan ta stop dose crooks! So until den...stay safe, ok?
And then he turned and walked into his house.
XXXXXXXXX
Donald kept walking, not caring where he was going. He was trying hard to control his rage and breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Gotta try to calm down. Too angry to even check to see if he was still in Spoonerville or ask for directions, he just kept walking in a straight line. He was trying to find a large body of water whether it be a river or lake because if there was one thing that could help calm him down, it would be the water. Breathe. Just breathe.
As he continued, he noticed a small pile of dirt pop up and start moving along in front of him. Mildly curious, he stopped walking to see what sort of creature would come out of the hole. He was a bit surprised when a grey rabbit, a black duck, a blazer-wearing pig, a tiny mouse in a sombrero and a short cowboy all popped out of it.
"Yee haw! Now fer some relaxation at the beach! Bring on the margaritas, ladies!" the cowboy shouted, shooting into the air with his guns.
"Ugh...are we finally there now? 'Cause I'll tell ya what, carpooling was not meant for rabbit holes!" said the black duck, huffily hopping out of the hole and stretching out his back and arms.
"I thought the ride was quite prett-prett-prett-uh...scenic!" quipped the little pig.
"Hey! This ain't the Copa Cabana! Where in tarnation did ya take us to, rabbit?!" asked the cowboy, leaning threateningly toward the tall rabbit.
Donald took a few steps closer to them to get a better look, although he was almost certain he already knew who these newcomers were.
"Hmmm...maybe I took a wrong 'toin' at dat second fossil back in Las Vegas," and with that the grey rabbit pulled out a large map and unfolded it, trying to see where he might've made a wrong turn.
"Ugh...the rabbit can invent the carrot-peeler (3), but he can't install a GPS on his watch!" complained the black duck, that Donald now quickly recognized as Daffy.
The Looney Tunes. Figures. Ugh...whatever. I'm in no mood to deal with them right now! His curiosity having been satisfied and not caring enough to see any more, Donald abruptly turned and was about to walk away.
"Oh, l-l-look, here's s-s-someone who can help us, guys! Excuse me, sir? Can you please tell us w-w-where we are?" asked Porky, going up to Donald from behind and tapping him on the shoulder.
Donald stopped, took a few deep breaths so he wouldn't explode at them, and turned around. The Looney Tunes' eyes widened once they saw who it was that the pig stopped and Porky even gasped.
"Oh! S-s-sorry, Mr. Duck! I d-d-didn't mean to b-b-bother you!" Porky stammered and backed away, his stuttering even worse because of his fear of the other duck. Almost the whole world knew of this duck's temper. His rages could be worse in destruction than even the Tasmanian Devil's!
But Donald just stood there, silently and coldly regarding them.
"You're somewhere in Calisota (4). A while ago I was in a town called Spoonerville but I have no idea if I crossed the city limits at some point and I really don't care," the white drake responded and was about to leave again.
"W-wait, Donald! Donny...doncha recognize me?" asked Daffy, carefully approaching the other duck.
"Of course I recognize ya, Daffy. I recognize all of ya. But I really don't wanna chit chat right now," Donald responded coldly and yet again was about to leave.
"D-Donald, wait. Please, stay. Please? It's been a long trip for us. Do ya know somewhere we can grab a bite ta eat? Ya can come wit us if ya want and we'll treat ya," Bugs said, lightly touching the duck's arm to get him to stop walking away.
"Ooooooh...I forgot my wallet in my other pants," Daffy said, half-heartedly checking his non-existent pockets in his non-existent pants. Donald and the Looney Tunes just stared at him.
"Sorry, but I'm not from Spoonerville. I just got here a few hours ago and was about to stay with a friend, but...my plans changed. But I think I passed by some bars and restaurants over in that direction so you could try there," Donald answered, almost emotionlessly and pointed behind him.
Seeing the usually energetic and fiery duck so cold was more unnerving to the Looney Tunes than any of his infamous rages. Whatever happened...it must've been something very bad.
"I meant what I said, Donald. Ya could come wit us if ya want!...Please?" Bugs tried to persuade the white duck.
Donald hesitated for a few moments. He wasn't that hungry since Pete had given him food before he left. (There was a tiny pang in his heart at the memory. But he quickly killed it.) And at first all he wanted to do was be left alone and find some water to relax and swim in. But maybe getting some alcohol to calm him wouldn't be so bad.
So he sighed and finally said, "Fine. Come on, I'll show you guys where the bars are." And began walking in the opposite direction with the rest of the Looney Tunes following him.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, all of them too afraid of provoking the white duck's wrath. But then Daffy finally spoke up, not used to nor liking things so quiet.
"So...uh...how come you're not in Duckburg?" he cautiously asked.
"Daffy! Don't start!" Bugs scolded, but Donald just shrugged having expected one of them to start asking questions.
"I was visiting a friend," he replied.
"Oh...um...anyone we know?" Daffy wondered.
"Pete," Donald responded.
"Pete?! Pete as in Peg-Leg Pete?! Mickey's numbah one enemy?! Dat Pete?!" Bugs asked, completely shocked. The other Looney Tunes' eyes widened at this.
"Yup."
"Oh...um...how come? I mean, I thought you guys hated each other," Bugs pried.
"I guess we once did, but after that dumb pre-school show...we kinda got to know each other better and realized we had a lot of hobbies in common like sailing and fishing. Plus, he kinda helped me out during...the uh, the war," Donald explained, glancing away.
The Looney Tunes didn't have to be geniuses to know which war the duck was talking about. But before anyone could pry further, they had finally come to the little strip of bars and restaurants.
"Well, how do ya like that? We're here! Let's go inside and get some eats!" Yosemite Sam cried out, already rushing inside some random restaurant with the others following close behind. They all decided to sit up at the bar and ordered a round of drinks and some appetizers.
Speedy being a mouse, ordered some mozzarella sticks. Bugs asked for carrot fritters. Yosemite Sam demanded some flaming hot buffalo wings. Porky politely asked for buttered potato peels. And Daffy ordered french fries while Donald got a side of cheesy nachos.
"Ok...Now I'm not namin' names...(Porky!) but these are my fries, people! (5) Ya hear that?! Mine! Miiiiiiine!" Daffy cried, arms shielding his precious fries from his friends and slowly eating them one at a time through narrowed eyes.
The others just stared at him again.
"Eh, neva mind 'im. He ain't normal. So...um...I'm guessin' Pete did someting ta make you mad, eh, duck?" Bugs asked, chin in hand as the others started happily munching away on their food.
Donald kept his eyes angrily locked on the bar table and didn't respond right away. The Looney Tunes waited.
But then he sighed and answered, "Not Pete."
"Really? I thought for sure that trouble-making gato was to blame! But then I guess I'm biased against cats," Speedy Gonzales said with a cheeky grin.
"So, who made ya so angry, duck? Ya looked like ya wanted ta smash whoevea got in your way!" Bugs piped up, almost in awe at the fact that the duck was so angry his skipped his normal fiery rage and went into a sort of cold tranquil fury.
Donald just glared at the rabbit and snapped, "Who do ya think?!"
"Uh...y-y-your Uncle S-S-Scrooge?" Porky asked.
"He annoys the hell outta me too sometimes...but no. Guess again," Donald replied.
Just then, Daffy's eyes widened in realization. He took into account the other duck's dejected and icy behavior, and those sky blue eyes that held a mixture of fury, despair and betrayal. He knew there was really only one person who could make Donald feel such conflicting emotions. For he himself often felt the same way about a certain smart-aleck, smug grey rabbit.
"Mickey Mouse," the little black duck said, softly.
Donald took a swig of his tequila and said, "Bingo."
"So...what did the little rodent do this time?" Daffy asked, contemptuously.
"Hey!" the Mexican mouse glared at Daffy for the offensive use of the term "rodent."
"No offense, Speedy."
"I don't wanna talk about it. But basically, he just reminded of how Walt once called me the 'problem child' of the Disney family."(6) Donald groaned, now too emotionally drained to even get furious over it anymore.
The others' eyes widened at this. In their opinion, Mickey had definitely crossed the line this time.
"Wow...s-s-sorry that you have to p-p-put up with that, Mr. Duck," Porky said, softly.
Donald stared at Porky for a few moments, before saying, "It's fine. And you can call me 'Donald', ya know. I always hated being called 'Mr. Duck.'"
Porky practically beamed at this and Donald half-smiled back.
"Aw shucks! It can't be that bad! Why Bugs and Daffy fight and argue all the time yet they're still best buds! Why they even used ta trick ol' Elmer into shooting each other with his there rifle! (7) You and that there mouse never had ta worry about anythin' like that!" Yosemite Sam said, downing his drink and waving a dismissive hand.
Donald glared at the cowboy and icily said, "Oh yeah? Well, me and Mickey didn't hafta trick some dumb hunter to do our dirty work for us!"
He then paused and softly added, "We used ta aim guns at each other ourselves."(8)
The Looney Tunes' eyes widened.
"Wow...I completely forgot that Disney used to have some serious cojones back in the day!" Speedy said, impressed.
Bugs and Daffy exchanged glances and nodded to each other, almost imperceptibly.
"Yeah, you're right! Who needs dat no-good, rotten, rat?!" Bugs said, clenching a fist on the table.
"You said it!" Donald agreed, chuckling.
"Yeah, ya don't need that cheese eatin' goody-two-shoes! With those overgrown ears!" Daffy laughed.
"Hehehe...Yeaaah," Donald's chuckling getting weaker.
"And dat limp little tail! I mean, what's with dat?" Bugs said, still laughing.
Donald stopped laughing and was now frowning. Somehow, it was different when he heard others talk bad about Mickey.
"And what's with that high-pitched voice? Was he kicked in the balls or what? Woo hoo!" Daffy guffawed, now holding his sides.
"Alright that's it! You can't talk about Mickey Mouse like that! Who do you think you are?! Why I oughta-" Donald was now red-faced and had grabbed both Bugs and Daffy around their throats, angrily shaking them like maracas.
But he was surprised to see them smirking smugly at him instead of the terror-stricken expression he expected. And then...his eyes widened as he realized that he'd been tricked. He let them go and looked away, blushing.
"Ya see, duck? Ya still care about 'im," Bugs pointed out.
Donald blushed more.
"Yeah...ya still see yourself as his best friend, doncha?" Daffy said, rubbing his throat.
"Grrr...that-that doesn't mean anythin'! It was just instinct I tell ya!" Donald protested, arms crossed and back turned, but a reluctant smile was making its way across his beak. Even he had to admit that it had been a good trick. Aw...curse their silly humor!...They've always been good at makin' folks smile.
And the Looney Tunes just snickered good-naturedly at the sight, glad they had almost brought the sailor-suited duck back to being his normal, easily-irritated but incredibly fun self.
But suddenly, a big burly and heavily muscled guy elbowed his way up to them at the bar and grabbed what remained of Donald's nachos.
"Hawhawhaw! I'll be takin' this, shorty!" and started crunching down on them.
Donald's eye twitched.
"Aww...don't worry about dat big bully, Donny! I'll buy ya a'nudder round!" Bugs said glaring up at the big oaf who just smirked back, still enjoying Donald's nachos.
But then the Looney Tunes were in for quite a shock when the duck started growling and turning red, until he literally burst into flames! Grrrrrr...I was almost havin' a good time! And this damned fool had to go and ruin it! Now all his fiery rage at Mickey that he had been holding back before, exploded full force! And it didn't help matters that the big idiot also had to push his berserk button! Nobody touches my nachos! NOBODY! (9)
"MY NACHOS!" Donald yelled at the top of his lungs, as his limbs became whirling weapons of destruction!
The big bully glanced up in terror as the small white duck suddenly turned into some sort of wrecking ball! He barely had time to gulp before Donald started pummeling him all over with fierce punches, kicks and impossibly, his own physical fire! The Looney Tunes could only stare on in awe and partial fear.
It took just a few seconds before big punk was lying on the floor, barely conscious after the savage beating he just took with the white duck standing over him, looking ready to pummel him again if the guy was stupid enough to try to get up.
"Wow...dat was incredible! You're quite the fighter!" Bugs praised. The other Looney Tunes also hooted and hollered. It looked like Donald was as possessive of his food as Daffy was...except that Donald seemed to be stronger and was by far more violent.
Unfortunately, it looked like the restaurant staff didn't much appreciate the white drake's display of temper and destruction as much as the Looney Tunes did since the bartender was frowning and tapping his foot.
Donald sighed. He was used to this by now.
"Uh...anyway, thanks for the food and drink but I should probably go now," he said and was about to turn away when Bugs and Daffy exchanged glanced again, and Daffy stopped him.
"W-wait! Listen, uh, I wanted to get some fresh air, too. Could I, uh, go with ya?" the black duck asked, timidly.
"I guess so, but aren't your friends gonna miss ya?" Donald said, arching an eyebrow.
"Nah...they'll be ok for now. They'll probably just watch the baseball game or sumthin'! See?" Daffy beckoned to his fellow Looney Tunes who were now watching a baseball game on the TV.
"Ok, then." But as Donald waved goodbye and walked out the door, Daffy paused to wink at Bugs who winked right back.
It was starting to get dark by now and both ducks walked in silence for a few minutes, before Daffy spoke up, "So...you and Mickey must be really mad at each other, huh?"
Donald shrugged, "I guess he got suspicious of all the time I've been spendin' with Pete. 'Cause in all fairness, he did try to manipulate me before. But still...the mouse could've just talked to me like a normal person instead of goin' behind my back and spyin' on us."
"He spied on ya, too?! Yeesh...that mouse has got some issues," Daffy said, shaking his head in disappointment.
The white duck sighed, "He said that Walt didn't trust me...so he doesn't trust me either."
"Wow...that's cold! Heh, that's kinda like with me and Bugs. He doesn't trust me either sometimes," Daffy said.
"But at least with Bugs, he's honest about who he is. He knows that he can be just as conniving and manipulative as you are and he doesn't try to act morally superior. All the things Mickey accuses me of now, he forgets he was once just as mischievous, sneaky and scrappy!" Donald argued, still greatly annoyed at the mouse.
"Hmmm...that's true," Daffy conceded.
"And even though Bugs is your company's official mascot, he doesn't feel the need to name everything after himself! Not only does Mickey have both a club and clubhouse named after him, he also had a friggin' theme song! (10) I mean, for almost every movie or short Disney does, they feel the need to hide little symbols of the mouse!"(11) Donald's fists were now clenched at his side.
"And if that weren't enough...every godforsaken time we make a movie or video game, they have to friggin' make him royalty and Goofy and me are just the servants or sumthin'! (12) Even in the new movie we made a couple of years ago, they made me the coward in order to make him look good! (13) Me?! I'm the coward of the three of us?! The guy that used ta punch out sharks, (14) pick fights with ghosts, (15) and headbutt mountain goats?! (16) Gimme a freaking break! Oh and in the Disney Sports video games series, the company actually made me the weakest! (17) Can you believe it?! I'm stronger than both Mickey and Goofy put together and they made me the weakest and instead gave me highest speed level! Just so Mickey can be the "most balanced" out of us! UGH! Puh-leeze! Grrrrrrr..." the white duck continued rave while Daffy just watched, letting the other duck get it all out.
"And don't even get me started on that piece of trash game, 'Kingdom Hearts!' The stupid company stabbed me in the back and instead of makin' me the star like they wanted, they caved to that piece of shit company Square Enix and that trash director and made me into some almost useless magician! (18) I hate magic! (19) GRRRRRR...I'M SO SICK OF THAT BULLSHIT!" Donald finally shouted and punched the side of some random building they were passing by, causing the part he punched to splinter right off and leave a gaping hole!
Donald and Daffy both stared awestruck at the sight before Donald looked around nervously and said, "Whoops! Come on, let's get of here before someone sees! I can't afford to pay for the damages!"
After they ran for a few minutes, they stopped to catch their breath.
"So yeah...with me and Mickey, it was never really about the limelight even though I'd like to trick people into thinking it was. 'Cause I mean, let's get real, I'd never be good at Mickey's job. I don't have the charisma and I don't much like being in a position of too much authority or responsibility. (20) And I also refuse to be a 'yes-man' or change who I am like Mickey does! No, for me, it was more about refusing to be the company's puppet and resenting just how much they beat us on the head with Mickey's leadership! I'm like 'Ok! We get it! He's the leader! Give it a fuckin' rest!"' Donald growled, anger still running high.
Daffy nodded and said, "Wow...I never really knew how rough you had it. And here I thought I was gettin' the short end of the stick. But at least, you really are famous! Your fame is only behind Mickey's and Bugs'! You even got your own Hollywood star on the Walk of Fame! I resented Bugs ever since that rabbit first went on stage 'cause he upstaged me like I once upstaged Porky! (21) But you...you did the impossible! You upstaged Mickey Mouse himself! They had to make 'Fantasia' just to help 'im regain lost popularity! And thanks to your comics (22), in many other regions like Europe and Latin America, you're still more popular than 'im! I'd do anythin' for that kind of recognition."
Donald was stunned by Daffy's almost tearful confession. But then they finally came upon a park bench and sat down.
"Gee, Daffy, I'm really sorry ya feel that way. But ya know...you're so much more popular than folks let ya believe! Remember, ya starred in two movies (23) and was even the hero of the last one! All I got so far was some dumb cameo with Mickey in Goofy's movie and even then Mickey got the one line while I just stayed quiet. Someday you'll get recognition, Daffy! I just know it!" Donald said eagerly.
"Thanks, but I doubt it. I remember what it was like before the rabbit...How everyone would laugh, clap and root for me! Sigh. I'd give anythin' to hear that again," Daffy almost whispered, beak sadly resting in his hands.
"Ya know...it took me a while, but I realized sumthin,'" Donald admitted.
"What's that?" Daffy asked, still depressed.
"It's easy ta love the hero. It's easy ta admire and love the guy that always comes out on top and seems perfect in every way. But it's much harder ta take the underdog or sidekick or villain and make 'im likable...let alone lovable! And you do that, Daffy! You're such a great actor! Much better than me!" the white drake said, smiling.
"Better than you?! Oh, now I know you're just tryin' ta be nice! You're the one with his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!" Daffy said, waving a dismissive hand.
"Yeah but for what? Gettin' angry all the time? To me, that's not acting! When I feel angry, I'm really angry. When I feel sad, I'm sad. When I'm happy, I'm really happy. It's not really acting if those emotions are real. But you! You can trick people and make them think you're happy when I know deep down you're really upset! Or try to be brave when you're really scared! Me? When we were filming 'The Three Musketeers' and I had to portray a coward, I broke character when I couldn't take it anymore! Thankfully, it worked for the film, but...it proved that I can't really pretend to be sumthin' I'm not. But you can! So yeah...I think you're the better actor!" Donald admitted happily.
Donald had genuinely believed this to be true. Whereas Disney's purpose was to tell stories (sometimes realistically, sometimes not), WB's purpose seemed to be pure comedy. Disney often used the white duck to portray scenes from real life and Donald had felt that that was where his real popularity came from. People could relate to him. His antics in the army often portrayed real issues many soldiers had to go through. Chasing around his nephews endeared him to parents who also sometimes felt both the impatience and fondness of raising little ones. Daffy though was just genuinely funny and he often brought that humor to any role whether it be Robin Hood or the Scarlet Pimpernel or whatever else.
And in the end, Daffy was willing to change who he was for show business, having gone from high-strung screwball in the late 1930s to more conniving in the 1940s and to finally being the greedy, jealous "jerk" of the 1960s most people recognized him for! He even committed suicide to try to upstage Bugs before being resuscitated! (24) Whereas Donald vehemently refused to change who he was just to be more popular. Never! I'll never change who I am! Show business wasn't worth quite that much to him. And although he knew that his comics portrayed him a bit more varied than his cartoons, he didn't mind it as much because at least his comics mostly kept Mickey and Goofy out since they had their own comics. Though theirs aren't as popular as mine! Hehehe!
The black duck was committed to the stage and screen, whereas Donald often seemed to have a whole other life outside of Disney and often forgot just how popular he was. (25) So in Donald's opinion, Daffy truly acted whereas Donald was just being himself.
Daffy beamed. To think that the first duck that had made a name for himself had called him, him Daffy Duck, a better actor made his heart swell! That alone was better than any amount of gold Daffy could dream up.
"Thanks Donald! Comin' from you, that really means a lot!" the black drake sniffed.
"Don't mention it, pal!" Donald said, smiling.
They sat in silence for a bit and stared up at the full moon which bathed everything in delicate light.
"It sure is pretty, isn't it?" Donald asked softly, feeling truly calm for the first time after the incident with Mickey.
"Yeah...Oh! And look! That tiny red dot over there is Mars! Sigh...Mars. I'd love to visit it someday!"(26) Daffy cried excitedly and pointed to a far off tiny reddish dot.
"Doncha have a friend from there? Maybe he'll take ya one day!" Donald said, hopefully.
"Who? Marvin? Yeah...but I don't know...sometimes when things go badly for him, he gets on this 'Destroy the earth!' kick. Although he said once that he wants to destroy Earth 'because it obstructs his view of Venus.' So whatevs!" Daffy said chuckling but then noticed Donald flinch at the mention of the other planet.
"Venus, huh? Well, it is rather pretty. I'd uh, like to go there...someday! They say it casts lovely shadows!"(27) Donald explained a bit nervously, hoping the other duck wouldn't realize that he already had gone into space...as his vigilante/super-hero alter ego, Paperinik.
"Yeah! Forget sendin' monkeys or robotic drones, NASA! We ducks can brave deep space any time, right?" Daffy said, puffing out his chest.
"You said it!" Donald agreed.
"Hehe, I'm sure you're just bein' nice again. But...well, I know it sounds crazy, but I just know that someday I'm gonna see it!" Daffy sighed wistfully.
"Oh, I don't think it's crazy," the other duck said, glancing away to hide a laugh.
"And well...I always hoped to act with Bugs forever! We have a dynamic most other co-stars would kill for! And he'll always be my best friend. Always. But...for some reason, that same feelin' in my heart that just knows I'll see Mars, also tells me...that he won't be with me. I don't know why...but somehow I see Porky in his place..." Daffy began, sliding his hand along the armrest of the bench as he tried to sort through his conflicting emotions.
It had taken a long while, but Bugs and Daffy had finally made it past enemies and even rivals to become the best friends they are now. Through the years, they had learned so much from each other and played off each other extremely well. Bugs had earned a special place in the mallard's heart and he was almost certain he earned one in the rabbit's, too. But...in the end, whenever he was paired with the hare, he would never truly shine. He would always be "second-rate" at best and "downright loser" at worst.
Porky, on the other hand, was his first true friend and the pig would literally do anything for him even as far as donating a kidney! (28) And what was more was that whenever he was paired with Porky, he was the one who shined and Porky seemed more than happy to let him do so. And that...that earned Porky a special place in a corner of his heart where even Bugs couldn't quite reach.
Donald waited and the other duck continued, "Heh, Porky. I'll never understand why he always wants me to rate 'im on my list of friends! Truth is...I don't really see 'im like a 'friend.' He's family. Steady and reliable. Oh, I've known 'im longer than I've known Bugs...and sumthin' tells me that he'll still be with me long after WB is all but forgotten. Sigh. I sound crazy, don't I?"
"Yeah...But then again your name is 'Daffy' so I wouldn't expect anythin' less!" Donald chuckled.
Daffy semi-glared at the other duck, "Oh hardy har har!"
"Aw, ya know I'm just messin' with ya!" Donald said, stifling his giggles.
But then he surprised Daffy by turning a bit somber.
"Actually...That doesn't sound crazy at all! Bugs is your best friend and always will be, but Porky's special. I get that. And uh, well, if he's special to ya, Daff...ya might wanna tell 'im once in a while. I know ya said ya could see 'im bein' with ya years and years from now, but...ya never really know when a person ya care about will leave ya...even if they're your first friend. Look at me! I had one once. And now I don't even know if he's alive or dead! (29) You're really lucky to have friends like Bugs and Porky!" the white duck said, almost sighing and briefly remembering another pig, an accordion, a bottle of castor oil...and the fun, lazy days of his childhood filled with music and dancing before Mickey had complicated his life. Oh, Peter...I hope you're ok, wherever ya are.
"Yeah...they're great! I might even clap 'em on the back one of these days! But ya know...Mickey and Goofy probably aren't that bad! I mean, they do hafta put up with you everyday!" Daffy said, his turn to laugh.
"Hey!" Donald snapped half-heartedly, but soon was giggling right along with Daffy.
"Just messin!" the black duck said, putting up his hands in surrender.
A chilly breeze cut through their feathers and they knew it was now getting very late.
"Well, I should go. The others will wonder if ya kidnapped me or sumthin'!" Daffy joked, getting up and stretching out his back.
"Hehe, very funny. Want me to take ya back?" Donald offered.
"Nah! I remember where the restaurant is! I might not be able to really fly or swim anymore, but I still got a homing instinct! Great for directions! Though...it doesn't really work underground it seems," Daffy said, shrugging hopelessly.
"Ok, well...take care, Daff! You're really the only one who ever understood how I sometimes feel when it comes to Mickey. So thanks for this," Donald got up and hugged the black duck who returned it.
"Oh no problem! We ducks gotta stick together after all! Don't let that mouse get ya down! You'll always be better than 'im in my book!" Daffy said, patting Donald on the back.
"Thanks, Daff! You're better than Bugs in mine, too!" Donald nodded firmly.
"Oh! Before I go, I wanted to ask...what does your name mean?" Daffy asked.
Donald smirked and responded, "I looked it up once. Apparently, it's from the Scottish Gaelic 'Domhnall' and means 'ruler of the world!'"
Daffy's eyes widened.
"Can we switch names?" the black duck asked and they both had a last good laugh.
"Well, if ya ever do become ruler of the world someday, can I have my own continent?" Daffy asked cheekily, as Donald walked him out of the park.
Donald hesitated, the question being far too close to home at the moment. Not that Daffy knew what else besides Mickey the white drake was being faced with and Donald liked to keep it that way. But he saw no harm in playing along for now since the other duck would never really know how close he came to finding out Donald's actual situation.
"Sure! Why not? Which would ya like?" he asked, with a smirk. 'Cause you deserved better, too!
"Australia! Then, I'll have all the kangaroos! No! Maybe Antarctica? And then I'll own the place where Santa lives! Woo hoo! Woo hoo!" Daffy cried, now getting overly excited.
Donald just smiled. Heh, some thing never change.
"Well, I'll be goin' this way! See ya, Donny! And tell that mouse if he don't behave, I'll put gunpowder in his cheddar!" Daffy cried and waved back at Donald who waved back.
"Hehehe! I will! Try not ta let the moles muscle ya outta that rabbit hole! And keep practicing the piano!"(30) Donald shouted back, but the other duck just waved and turned the corner.
By the time Daffy finally made his way back to the restaurant, everybody had been waiting for him.
"So...didja make 'im feel betta, duck ta duck?" asked Bugs, leading the others out of the restaurant and back to the rabbit hole they all popped out of before.
"Yeah...he'll be ok! That guy might get stuck with all the bad luck, but he's still the one and only Donald Duck!"(31) Daffy said, winking and then happily jumped down the hole, soon followed by the others who laughed.
Me: Sweet gods, that was sooo much longer than I planned! Sorry about that folks! But rest assured I'll try to not make any chapters longer than this! And sorry for the absolutely insane amount of references and headcanons! Feel free to ignore them if ya want. But I think I'm gonna try to include them from now on because some readers might get confused on whether or not something is my own invention or if I'm basing it of a particular source and then they can look it up if they want to know more! And my headcanons, well sorry if I ranted a little, but I thought it was also important for the story to know why I think the way I do about certain things about Donald's behavior and personality. As for my next chapter, I'm going to seriously try to get it up within a week so that'll be...10/30/15! Hmmm...just before Halloween? Well, I'll give it a shot! Now...the sad part.
Donald: :'(
Daffy: :'(
Me: Now, now you guys! You had your fun, didn't ya? But now...it's time to go! Sorry!
Daffy: Noooooo! I wanna be the star with Donald! He promised me Australia! Or Antarctica! Nooooo! Ya can't make me go! I've got lawyers!
Bugs: (struggling to drag Daffy away) Come on, Daff! If ya behave, maybe someday she'll write a fic about us and den you can be the star!
Daffy: (after a pause) Well, it's been swell, Donny-boy! But we best hit the ol' mole hill! (shakes Donald's hand) Try not to destroy Australia or Santa! Or Ohio...my cousin twice-removed lives there. See ya!
Donald: (sadly waves goodbye)
Pete: (stifling his laughter at the scene)
Bugs: (winks) See ya, Aggie! Try not give Mickey too hard a time!
Me: (winks back) No promises there, Bugs! But I'll try to be fair! See ya!
References
1) An unfinished Donald Duck cartoon "Madame XX." Carl Barks used her as the inspiration for a very similar character, Madame Triple X in his comic, "Dangerous Disguise" where she plays a double agent for the Americans against the Russians during the Cold War. And this is why, in my headcanon, she's not quite a villain.
2) The comics by Floyd Gottfredson often portrayed Mickey as a scrapper or hold-boiled detective solving crimes often against Pete and Sylvester Shyster in comparison to his later, softer personality in animation.
3) Episodes "Peel of Fortune" and "Best Friends Redux" of "The Looney Tunes Show" claim that Bugs invented the carrot peeler.
4) The two movies show Spoonerville to apparently be in Ohio according to Goofy's map, but the Goof Troop series has Spoonerville in a fictional state called Calisota along with Duckburg, St. Canard, and Mouseton. (At least I think so).
5) Looney Tunes Show episode "French Fries." Apparently, Daffy is possessive over fries.
6 )Disneyland Special "Donald's Award"
7) The famous Duck Season/Rabbit Season Trilogy: "Rabbit Fire!" (1951), "Rabbit Seasoning" (1952), and "Duck! Rabbit!, Duck!" (1953)
8) Donald and Mickey actually pointed and fired guns at each other and way before Bugs and Daffy had to rely on Elmer to get at each other. The shorts included: "Magician Mickey" (1937) [Donald points a gun at Mickey and fires but misses], "Mickey's Amateurs" (1937) [Donald aims a machine gun at the audience and fires and Mickey dives for cover], and "Symphony Hour" (1942) [Mickey points a gun at Donald but doesn't fire]
9) Mickey Mouse Short "Tapped Out" (2014). Touch Donald's nachos and die! Poor Pete had to find out the hard way.
10) "The Mickey Mouse Club March" (1955-1959)
11) Hidden Mickeys
12) "The Prince and the Pauper" (1990) where Mickey played both roles while Donald was a servant and the "Kingdom Hearts" video game series where Mickey is a king and Donald and Goofy are both his servants.
13) "The Three Musketeers" (2004)
14) "Sea Scouts" (1939)
15) "Lonesome Ghosts" (1937)
16) "Alpine Climbers" (1936)
17) Disney Sports Series: Soccer, Football, Basketball, Skateboarding, Snowboarding, Motorcross. Donald usually has the lowest physical strength (though to compensate, he's usually the fastest) out of Pete, Goofy, and Mickey which is surprising and bothers me because he's proven to be the strongest in the cartoons such as "Answering Service" (2000) when he almost easily pulled a telephone line out of Mickey's and Goofy's grasp even though they were sweating and exerting all their effort into pulling it away and of course the short "Tapped Out" (2014) where Mickey and Goofy are no match for champion wrestler Pete but Donald takes him down effortlessly after the poor cat accidentally ruined his nachos. And there are other cartoons, too. So I don't know if the games try to make him a bit weaker just because he's the youngest of them or what, but it irks me since it's almost like they can't bother to do their research and look up their own cartoons!
18) Some explanation here because I know that some of you guys might really like KH. It's said that Disney originally wanted Donald to be the star of "Kingdom Hearts" but Square Enix wanted Mickey and the director, Tetsuya Nomura wanted a human character...thus Sora. I could've lived with Donald not being the main star, but it annoys the hell outta me that they not only made him subservient to "King" Mickey (and we know that Donald doesn't take orders well), but then they made him one of the most physically weak and useless characters of all?! Again...Donald is physically stronger than Pete, Mickey and Goofy combined! Yet the game made clumsy and pacifist Goofy the "warrior," while the aggressive and combative duck was made the "healer" and the "squishy wizard?!" HUH?! Disney Infinity 2.0 did a MUCH better job at making Donald the physical powerhouse he really is (even though even then, they ripped of the 3.0 Mickey Mouse off of Donald!) The KH series could've been great, but they screwed up Donald's personality and role BIG time and so I'm not a fan of it. And I'm guessing that Donald would hate it, too.
19) It's really ironic that they made Donald into the magician when in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Donald is the most realistic and anti-magic and instead it's Goofy who's usually into magic. (Though he's also usually the knight too and Donald is some troubadour which I also find stupid).
20) Even though some cartoons series' like House of Mouse portray Donald as wanting to be Disney's star, other cartoons like Ducktales' "Sphinx for the Memories," Quack Pack's "Leader of the Quack" portray Donald as not liking being a ruler or leader very much. And even in some comics' like Carl Barks, Donald is reluctant to follow in Scrooge's footsteps and become a business tycoon because he doesn't want the responsibility.
21) Porky's first appearance was "I Haven't Got a Hat" (1935), then Daffy debuted in "Porky's Duck Hunt" (1937) and finally Bugs in "A Wild Hare" (1940)
22) Since the characters aren't toons in this universe and if cartoons are like movies here, then consider comics here to be like autobiographies. They just tell Donald's adventures.
23) "Space Jam" (1996) and "Looney Tunes: Back in Action" (2003)
24) In "Show Biz Bugs" (1957) Daffy blows himself up!
25) "Autograph Hound" (1939) where Donald tries to get famous people's autographs only for them to find out who he is and try to get his autograph! And the Disneyland Special "This is Your Life, Donald Duck!" (1960) where Donald is surprised to find himself the guest of honor on Jiminy Cricket's show.
26) Reference to "Duck Dodgers of the 24th 1/2 Century" series
27) Reference to "Paperinik New Adventures" comics "Shadows on Venus" issue. But unlike Daffy who will become Duck Dodgers in the future, Donald as Paperinik in his own timeline has already been to Venus, but phrased it the same way Daffy phrased his wish so that Daffy doesn't get suspicious on how Donald could've gone to space.
28) Looney Tunes Show episode "The Float" (2011)
29) "The Wise Little Hen" (1934) In his debut, Donald also had a pig as his first friend named Peter Pig (rumored to be the Three Little Pigs' cousin!), but now the most forgotten original Disney character.
30) Reference to "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" (1988) where both Donald and Daffy duel over who plays the piano better
31) Reference to Donald Duck's cartoons' theme song (1947-1959)