Starships and Spitwads
by icypinkpop
Pairing: Zim & Dib Friendship (ZaDF)
Disclaimer: Jhonen Vasquez gets all the glory for these two.
Warnings: Not many…Perhaps a little OOC-ness, and slight language.
Author's note: Well this is a…surprising return. How long has it been since I posted any fanfiction?
I couldn't help but want to write a story about these two. Apparently I live under a rock, because at the ripe old age of 19 I've only now discovered Invader Zim. And what a great discovery that was.
This really isn't supposed to be ZaDR-y, but going in with preconceived notions takes out all the fun, so please, I encourage you to interpret it as you wish.
My overall goal in writing this was to stay as in-character as possible. I love these guys, so I wanted to capture them as best I could. I hope that you can give me some feedback on how you think I did.
Enjoy!
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Narrowing his eyes, Dib retied the rope around the small wrists for the fourth time, making sure his knot was perfectly inescapable as he sat back and admired his progress. He figured that tying his arms was probably enough; Zim couldn't escape very well without them, he knew, especially since he was now missing the eight PAK legs he was accustomed to. Dib had wanted to cuff Zim with something more professional, but the sleep-cuffs wouldn't be useful at this point. He wanted Zim awake, not asleep. He wanted answers.
Turning, he moved back to his desk, taking out a piece of paper with alien doodles but nothing else on it, kicking the wet umbrella on the floor aside. Perhaps he should write out a list of things to ask his enemy? A few seconds later, Dib shook his head and crumpled the paper, tossing it aside and moving back towards the bed. He didn't need it.
Everything question he had had been bouncing around his head for months since that first night he'd woke up in Zim's base. Now the tables would be turned.
It occurred to Dib briefly that it was sort of stupid to do this in his bedroom, of all places. He could set Zim up on the dissection table in the basement while he was still unconscious and really interrogate him, maybe even start cutting organs out-
He saw Zim breathe and shuddered, somehow not considering that option anymore. He wasn't after biopsied squeedily-spooches or alien intestines, anyways. He just wanted the truth.
"Dib-thing?"
Startled, Dib looked down and saw the bound Zim blinking up at him in obvious mutual surprise. Zim didn't seem angry…yet. He merely seemed to be getting an idea of where he was, looking around with those big pink eyes that were still free of those usual lenses.
"Enh?"
"…who has the upper hand now, ZIM?" Confidence returning for the moment at Zim's perplexed look, Dib walked up to the side of the bed and watched as Zim began pulling at his restraints. He'd figured out his position then. Good.
"…you horrible stink-meat! Free Zim!"
"Oh, I don't think so…" Dib winced a little at the sound of his own voice. He was trying to instill obedience in Zim, but it didn't feel natural. Probably because he didn't feel as smug as he thought he would after getting Zim completely at his mercy.
"You're going to answer some questions for me, Space-Boy."
Realization seemed to settle over Zim and the alien pulled and tugged harder at the rope around his wrists.
"What have you done to Zim? How did you bring Zim here?"
"You fell asleep on me. I didn't do anything." Dib paused. "…I didn't even know you slept. I thought you stayed awake all the time."
"Zim did," Zim admitted with grit teeth, glaring at Dib pointedly. "Since Zim lost his PAK, he has been forced to engage in…unnatural…thingies."
The human frowned and then widened his eyes. Well, it looked like he didn't have to really start asking specific questions…
"Huh?"
"Like sleep. Zim no longer has the PAK to regulate his brain activity, so he requires…eurgh…rest," Zim spat as if the word disgusted him, shuddering noticeably. "He also requires Irken nutrients and such for sustenance."
"Oh…" Dib let his eyes wander over to the lack of PAK on what he could see of the alien's back. The thing had done all that for him? That seemed sort of…vital, really. It was good Zim had other technology at his base. Surely that was how he had managed to remain alive.
Dib winced at his realization. So Zim had truly been on his last legs. He really had saved him…
But from what? !
"God, WHAT? WHAT is the reason for all this stuff? Just tell me!" It was driving him crazy! Groaning, feeling an intense sensation of déjà vu soaking through him, he sighed and sat with his arms on either side of Zim.
"Come on! Say something!"
The words out of Zim's mouth surprised Dib.
"My Tallest."
"…" Dib felt the urge to groan but held back. Another diversion tactic, was it, or another tri-
"Er, they have, uh, reassigned Zim! Yes! Zim no longer has a need for this filthy planet!"
The words sent a rush of something down Dib's spine. Unsure how to reply, he sputtered for a moment before finally finding his voice.
"B-but…you want to destroy Earth! That's why you're here!" he argued back, not believing whatever scheme Zim was trying to pull with such an obvious lie. "You just want me to let my guard down, huh? Well it's not gonna work, Space-Boy! I know you. I know what you want to do."
"Zim's wishes and his Tallest's orders are two different things, Dib-moron…"
The statement seemed to surprise them both.
"Zim means that he is…He is too GOOD for Earth! Zim's position as an invader of Earth has been…" Zim trailed off into silence, eyes darting around as if he was trying frantically to find the right word. Or the right excuse.
When Zim's feelers flattened back noticeably, realization hit Dib like a ton of bricks. He saw that one familiar black thing twitching, going pale.
"Y-you're…they tried to kill you!"
In a moment, Dib was practically on Zim, staring right into his face in disbelief as all of the logical conclusions started aligning in his brain. It all made sense now! The PAK, the static, the EVERYTHING!
"THEY did that! What the hell, Zim? ! Why? !"
"Of course not! Silly human!"
Dib stared at the alien with his mouth open, recalling all those calls to 'My Tallest', and how the burns he could still see traces of on Zim's face had looked when they had been fresh.
"No! I know it! I'm right!" he insisted and leaned back in, watching Zim push back to lean away from him.
"They did it! THEY rigged your PAK remotely so it would explode! THEY cut off your transmission signals so you couldn't contact them!" Dib sank back onto the bed on his heels, transfixed by the incredible way everything fell mentally into place.
"They wanted you dead? ! They cut you off? You're all alone?"
When he got his bearings and looked at Zim, he realized that the tied wrists were facing him, his prisoner turned around and facing the headboard of the bed. He watched silently as the alien refused to look at him, staring at those feelers that were pressed down against the back of his head.
"…That has to be it," Dib sighed, feeling the silence creeping back in on the both of them, a surprising tingle of guilt creeping up through his body. Zim still said nothing, face turned to the wall.
"…Zim shall destroy you."
The familiar voice was quiet, but the loathing in it was unmistakable.
"Zim shall kill you. That is all Zim has left to do."
Dib paused, somehow not having expected the quiet outburst.
"Me?"
That choice of words was confusing…
EVERYTHING IS THE DIB'S FAULT!
He winced at that memory.
"Why just me? You just wanna get rid of me so you can take over Earth, right? I mean, I know we're…mortal enemies and stuff, but…"
Zim's feelers perked oddly.
"Of COURSE! Zim can destroy this puny little planet! He is just…he no longer has the authority, but he COULD! Oh, how he COULD!"
Dib looked flatly at him, noticing Zim still hadn't turned around.
"No you can't. Answer my question."
"Zim has done so!"
"No, about it all being my fault, Zim! You've obviously got bigger…issues!" he blurted out in frustration, reaching out as if to shake Zim by the shoulders. Before he could touch him, though, the alien turned around and looked at him, striking Dib with the look in his eyes.
They no longer looked cloudy. Insurmountably clear, in fact, and dancing with something angry and upset at the same time.
"It IS the Dib! The Dib ruined everything!"
Dib shook his head. He didn't understand. What plan had he thwarted? What secrets had he exposed to the world?
"…No, I didn't!"
Suddenly, it was Zim who was in his face. Dib didn't have the time to scoot backwards before he was shoved by Zim's body weight, the red eyes so close to his own it almost managed to strike fear in him, despite the fact that Dib so obviously had the upper hand.
"The Dib was a foolish waste of time! The Tallest would still consider Zim a mighty Irken warrior had the Dib not been in his way!"
Dib blanched.
"…what? What did you EXPECT me to do, Zim?" He countered and sat back up. "Let you destroy my planet and kill all my people? Even you wouldn't be stupid enough to let that happen to your planet! Would you? HUH?"
The human barely had a chance to get his final word out before a green blur whizzed past him, heading for the window. Eyes large, Dib reached out and leapt to the best of his ability, stumbling but managing to wrap his arms around Zim even as the alien lunged his weight at the only exit that was unlocked.
"Release Zim!"
The tone of voice more than startled Dib. Looking down, keeping a grip on his bound captive as best he could, he watched in shock as Zim, face desperate and angry, continue to try and launch his body at the window, obviously determined to escape.
The way Zim seemed to be weakening caused Dib to loosen his grip a little bit, only to tighten it again when Zim's efforts to get free remained just as pronounced. Thoughts weighing heavy on his mind, Dib simply held the alien there and kept him from reaching the window, not yet making any attempts to drag him back. Mostly because Dib felt like he didn't have enough energy to do it.
Slowly, after a few minutes of fighting, Zim seemed to become discouraged, still thrashing as if with whatever energy he had left, which didn't seem like much.
"Let Zim go…"
Dib sighed, holding on.
"No."
"…Release Zim."
"Nope."
The human waited for Zim to be mostly quiet before pulling him back to the bed and gently letting him fall onto it, watching as Zim curled up on one side, facing away from him.
"Zim is necessary," he mumbled in seeming reply to Dib, laying his head on Dib's only pillow.
"Zim is needed for the mission."
Suddenly feeling a wave of exhaustion pass through him, Dib laid down on the other side of the bed, forcing his eyes to stay open as he stared at the bound hands.
"Yeah…sure."
"Zim will be called into active duty for a far more significant planet than your puny 'Earth'."
"Uh-huh."
Dib stared at Zim's back. His foe was so much less intimidating when he all his threats were so obviously lies.
"Zim needs no one. Zim is only necessary."
"All right."
"Only the Dib knows what it is to be unneeded."
"…"
Dib's heart skipped a beat.
"This is interesting. I had no idea your...human thoughts possessed these kinds of insights."
His notebook. So Zim really had read it...Dib blinked as he remembered the entry, the one thing he had put in there that he had worried Zim might find when he had been here last. He remembered that day weeks ago that he had come home, angry at the world, and done some sloppy writing about how nobody appreciated him, and how he shouldn't even try anymore. He remembered using that word, and how appropriate it had been to describe his feeling at the time. Unneeded.
That was the night he had stopped sleeping.
"You truly do belong on this planet, Dib-stink."
Dib stared at the back of Zim's head, replaying the alien's last words over and over within his brain. For once, there hadn't been much spite. Well, a little, maybe, since the remark was obviously supposed to hurt him.
He eyed the purple swelling around that antenna that still hadn't healed. He didn't understand anything anymore. Sure, maybe he knew the logistics now, but it was remarkably unsatisfying. All he really knew was that Zim had to be hurting, at least on some level.
The boy let his eyes close a little more, staring drearily at Zim's bound hands. He noticed one moving in its tethers slightly, as if trying to break free but too lazy to do so, and reached out on pure impulse. Catching it, he threaded his five fingers clumsily with the three and held the hand there, stopping it from its escape. It went limp in his grip, but he only pressed their palms together.
Dib was hurting, too.
He felt his beating-organ throb a little faster at the unfamiliarity of the situation, but he was sure of this. Inexplicably, he didn't want Zim to go, and he knew it. In fact, once he thought about it, he was sure he hadn't been so sure of anything in his life. He was sure of this like he was sure that ghosts existed, like he was sure of Bigfoot's frequent trips to his garage to use the belt-sander. In fact, Dib was as sure about this as he was sure about the fact that Zim existed at all.
Any doubts, and it seemed possible that he might find his hand full of air before morning.
Zim's chest began to rise and settle more rhythmically, but Dib kept ahold of his hand, not willing to let his guard down in case this was a trick. Dib had no delusions that he would be sleeping that night. Instead, he heaped some covers up from the foot of the bed and rested his head on the pile he had made. Zim was using his pillow.
Dib kept his eyes open, for once having something to stare at other than the wall.
o~o
At 1:13 AM (according to his bedside alarm clock), Dib decided he was getting hungry and sat up, blinking when something pulled him back down. He looked down, realizing slowly that their hands were still connected. He might not have gotten to sleep, but he'd forgotten about it…
Dib was reluctant to let go. He almost didn't dare leave the room in case Zim escaped while he was gone. Then again, why did he need to keep him there? Zim had made it clear that he wasn't even going to try and destroy the Earth anymore, so what good was keeping him tied up in his room?
Biting his lip, the boy let go of Zim's gloved hand, sliding off the bed and watching him. He had his answers… Maybe he should just toss him out.
A crack of thunder sent Dib's eyes snapping over to the window. He grimaced, watching the rain.
Maybe not...
Locking the window and glancing back at Zim, making sure he was still asleep, he went towards the door and, realizing for the first time how uncomfortable and wet his coat felt around him, stopped to strip out of his street clothes, one eye on his nemesis as he stepped into his most comfortable blue pajamas.
He shifted from one foot to the other, wincing. It wouldn't kill him to leave Zim for a few minutes.
After a quick trip to the bathroom, Dib headed down the stairs to the kitchen and opened the fridge, stomach gnawing insistently at his guts. There wasn't much food in the house, so he wasn't surprised to not find anything too appealing. After sorting through some slightly bruised apples and what was left of a Bloaty's pizza, he reached out for the milk, eggs and butter and brought his load to the kitchen counter, stopping to make sure he didn't hear any sounds of alien escape before pulling a cookie sheet out from under the stove.
Late night snacking was becoming a ritual for Dib. He often didn't feel that hungry during the day, but at night he always wanted something to eat. Not being much of a cook, he had turned mostly to baking; usually cookies in the shapes of things Dib liked, like ghosts and planets.
Taking out a mixing bowl, Dib began to mix up some dough tiredly, keeping an ear out for alien footsteps.
"Zim needs no one. Zim is only necessary."
Dib stirred more frantically, trying not to think about the extraterrestrial tied up in his bedroom upstairs. The rain outside continued to pound at the kitchen window above the sink, helping Dib drown out the thoughts that kept wanting to spring up.
He'd had his answers. He understood what had happened to Zim. Why didn't he feel any better?
Kneading the dough out clumsily onto the counter and rolling it out with a rolling pin, Dib picked up a knife and cut the ragged ends off the slab of dough, tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth in concentration as he worked.
Stupid Zim. Why didn't he just toss him out into the rain?
"You don't…just give up on people, Zim. That's not how it works. You can't just take your anger or whatever out on others. You're supposed to be sympathetic."
He groaned, wishing his head would just leave him alone. He couldn't stop thinking about it altogether, though. He remembered how Zim's antenna had looked when it was twisted at the end. Dib had felt it pop back into place. He could only imagine it had been the equivalent of a dislocated finger, or something.
"Ouch!" Yelping as he nicked his own finger with the knife, not having been paying attention to the cookies he was cutting into shapes, Dib grumbled and shoved the tray into the oven, turning it on and wrapping a paper towel around his finger.
Ten minutes later, somewhat surprised not to have heard any sounds of potential extraterrestrial escape from upstairs, Dib removed his tray of cookies from the oven and set it on the kitchen table. Hungry and too impatient to wait, he pulled a canister of icing out of the fridge and took some food coloring from the drawer under the sink, mixing up a few colors. Anything to get his mind off of what he was going to do now…
Dib began to swath icing over the still-warm cookies. He couldn't just let Zim go. What if Zim was lying? What if this entire thing was nothing more than a big elaborate scheme to get him to drop his guard?
Nah…Zim wasn't that smart. He also wasn't that good at keeping his plans secret. Frowning, Dib squeezed some pink dots onto a few of the cookies, chewing at his lip.
He was sure he knew the truth of what had happened to Zim now. It was the only thing that made sense. Should he just forget about pursuing him, then? He was still out-of-this-world. Literally. Dib had to admit he still wanted to learn more about him and his race. He was nothing if not curious.
Sighing, making some black streaks where appropriate, Dib continued to let his mind wander, listening to the rain outside. He bristled at the sound of soft footsteps, standing straighter. It didn't sound like Zim…
"You're up late."
Startled, Dib turned around, watching his sister at the fridge reaching for the milk.
"Gaz?" he asked dumbly, surprised. He blinked wearily and stared as she shuffled around him in her footie pajamas, taking a glass from the shelf.
"Weirdo." Unsurprisingly unconcerned why Dib was down in the kitchen in the dark with oven mitts on, Gaz poured her beverage and shoved the carton back into the fridge, only then glancing over.
"Hey, what're those?" Dib blinked as he was shoved over, watching his sister step closer to him. She took a glance at the cookie tray and snorted, heading back off in the direction of the stairs with her milk in hand.
Dib watched, not sure whether a 'good night' would be well-received.
"Nice Zim cookies."
Blinking, Dib glanced back over to his handiwork. He promptly dropped his icing-coated knife, mouth falling open.
Zims. He had made tons of little frosted Zim cookies, all complete with antennae and bulging pink eyes.
"…." Dib sank down at the kitchen table and smacked his forehead against it, groaning into his hands. Seriously, what was wrong with him? He hadn't even realized! What kind of person did that? He didn't even remember doing it! He had been rolling the dough out and then...
Stomach rumbling, Dib lethargically looked back up and over wistfully to the tray of invaders. He might as well go upstairs, he figured. Even down here, that damn alien wouldn't leave him alone.
His sentiment strengthened when he heard a crash from up above, standing quickly.
Piling the warm cookies onto a plate, he poured himself a glass of milk and toted his breakfast precariously up the stairs, heading straight for his bedroom and nudging the door open.
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Poor guys…
This chapter is a whole mishmash of stuff. I hope its coherent and doesn't feel messy- I had already wrote some of this chapter before I even finished the first chapter to this entire story, so there's some copy-pasting of pieces of stuff I wrote in the past, followed by tweaking, of course, to make sure it all makes sense. This is my first fic where I had a really good idea of where it was going all along, so I started working on later plot points before I'd finished the earlier parts. I hope it's somewhat successful!
Thank you so much for reading. There will, of course, be plenty more to this story, so I hope you will follow along if it pleases you!