This part is still from Grissom's perspective. I mean, why not?
When we were in bed later that evening, I told Sara about what Brass said. I didn't quite tell her about my plans yet.
"Okay, don't be mad, but I kinda talked to Ecklie about it," she said, trying to gauge my reaction.
Conrad Ecklie? How could she talk to him about..about...us?!
"Please tell me you're telling me a funny joke right now."
She sighed. "No, I'm not. I know you talked to Brass, but he's your friend. Ecklie, well, isn't. And I know he already knows about us. He's not blind, Gris, none of them are. I know we've been worried about the consequences for a long time now, but guess what? Everyone knows. And nothing has happened. But Ecklie did agree that we can't really go on like this forever. If we were to, um, get married--" this she said in a rush, probably thinking that most men never wanted to hear those words pass through a girl's mouth unless they were already engaged. She didn't know that lately, it had been all I could think about.
"Yes?" I prompted her when she got derailed in her own thought process.
"If we were to do that, then, well, there'd be problems. But I was thinking, and hear me out--"
"Sara, I think we should move to Australia."
She looked at me, a very strange and different look permeating on her face. Usually I can read her, feel what kind of emotion she's having at the moment, but at that moment I was coming up blank.
"Um, what?" She asked incredulously.
"I've been thinking about it and I think we should go somewhere where nobody knows us. Neither of us have family here, and who needs this pressure of deciding whether or not to get married or not based on what the public will think!"
I continued muttering about public perception and Conrad Ecklie and whatever else I could think of while Sara stared at me, looking afraid to interrupt my incoherent ramblings. I knew I was confusing her, but I was more confused than anyone. And the more I rambled, the more I also thought, hey, I'm not like this. I am a rational man. Where is this coming from? And then I thought...it's love that's doing this to me. I somehow avoided doing it for most of my life and then when it happens, I can't get my act together.
When she had enough of my ramblings, Sara took my face in her hands and said, "Gil Grissom, please shut up."
I stopped my ranting long enough to let her talk.
"It's cute that you think we have to turn everything completely upside down in order to be together, but Ecklie had a different thought, and I was wondering why you didn't think of it before you thought about going to Antarctica or something. I know this isn't what you had in mind, but you can retire. I can continue as a CSI, carrying your torch, so to speak. It won't be that bad. You can write a book. You can do lectures all across the country and I can use my buckets of vacation time to go with you when I can. You have done more than your share for CSIs in Vegas and around the country, and I don't think anyone would blame you if you retire now. I mean, we can still go to the body farm and everything. It'll be fun. We'll start a maggot colony."
I remembered when retiring used to scare the hell out of me. I'd think about going to another country, relaxing, getting away from all the pressures of Vegas. Getting away from the brutality of the human species. Finally letting myself get away from daily doses of murder and rape and all the horrible things people do to each other. But before when I thought about it, I would panic. Not going into the lab every day, not being a mentor to my CSIs, not solving a crime and putting someone away where they belong...what would my life be without it? Before I would picture an empty existence. But now? I pictured Sara Sidle. As much Sara Sidle as I could handle. And that thought made me exhaustively happy.
"Why does that thought not totally scare the living hell out of me?" I asked her, kissing her forehead.
"Because you're changing. We both are. We're finally allowing ourselves to believe there's something else out there in the world other than crime solving and dead bodies. It's a good thing."
"Well, I'll...I'll tell Ecklie tomorrow. I'll retire at the end of the year. After that, we can get married. That is, if you'll have me."
She smiled grandly. "Of course I will. I can't wait until you make an honest woman out of me."
She gave me a long, passionate kiss and eventually I turned off the light, ready to go to sleep. But I couldn't help but feel eternally grateful to the woman who lay in bed beside me. She had been patient for a long time, and when I finally woke up and realized that I needed her, she accepted me willingly. My life before her was fine, and I didn't mind it. But my life after her was more than fine. She woke me up to the beauties of the world. She showed me there's more to life than what appears on the surface.
Sara Sidle fascinated me. She had overcome her beyond horrible and gruesome childhood, and now took on the world of crime with equal resolve. She had thrown herself into our relationship, not knowing if I was going to be there for her like she apparently always imagined I'd be. She offered me a chance for a new life, and now I wanted to return the favor. I wanted to be everything she thought I was, and I was going to spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how.
And...that's that, for now. If the spirit moves me there may be more. Thanks for all the reviews, I appreciate it!