When Ziva arrived at Tony's apartment, she knocked on the door twice. But when he didn't open up, she lost her patience, and after glancing over her shoulder and finding that no one else was around, she picked his lock.
It was unusually quiet in the apartment (not even the TV was on) and for a second, Ziva wondered whether Tony might actually not be here. But then she heard something that sounded suspiciously like snoring. She moved further into the apartment and spotted Tony lying on the couch – sound asleep.
Ziva's initial reaction to this discovery was anger, but she quickly tried to suppress it and remind herself that she had been the one to push him away in the first place. So she could hardly blame him for not showing up in court today, or could she? Somehow, it worsened her feelings of abandonment, although Tony, unlike her father, had done everything for her, including risking his own life and trying to help her get through these difficult weeks and months.
Perhaps that was why Ziva was so shocked to find him asleep now – as if he had suddenly stopped caring. She felt how much that possibility scared her, but she tried to subdue that emotion as well. If she really wanted to get past all these fears and weaknesses, she had to start acting accordingly.
A malicious grin spread across Ziva's face when she had an idea. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from Tony's fridge. Then she returned into the living room to stand next to the sofa again and emptied the bottle's wet contents into Tony's ear – just as she had done when they had been undercover together.
For a split second, Ziva found herself wishing they were back in that hotel room, but then Tony started yelling and jerking his head, trying to escape from the cold shower and he was on his feet in no time.
"Ziva?" He blinked several times and ruffled his wet hair. "Jeez, for someone who grew up in a desert, you have a shocking lack of respect for water! I bet you flunked right through your 'how not to waste precious resources 101' class."
Ziva couldn't help smiling a little because he looked really cute with the water running down his face. "But it works every time – only last time you were only wearing boxers," she said.
The same amusement and longing crossed Tony's face at the memory, but the current situation apparently rooted him in the here and now. "But what are you doing here, Ziva? Don't tell me you went UA from court!"
"No, court is already in recess until tomorrow," Ziva replied, trying not to sound too accusatory.
But it wasn't necessary, anyway. Tony looked guilty immediately. "Ah, crap! I'm sorry I wasn't there. There was another dead sailor this morning and McSensitive chose today of all days to call in sick so Gibbs had no choice but to drag my ass back to work. When he would finally let me go, I just came here for a quick stop, but I guess I must have dozed off…"
When Ziva heard his explanation, her anger immediately vaporized and was replaced by guilt. She knew Tony was telling the truth – he had wanted to be there, but he had been too tired – and Ziva also knew that she herself was the reason for his lack of sleep.
"So, uh, how was it in court today?" Tony asked, breaking the silence.
Ziva shrugged. "Ms. Senate seemed pleased afterwards."
"Hey, that's good!" Tony replied with much more enthusiasm than she had been able to muster. He noticed that, too, apparently. "Was your father there?"
"Yes, he was there to testify on my behalf."
Tony's brows furrowed. "Wow, how did that go? Did he leave the stand to lunge at that Henderson guy?"
"Tony, Eli might not know how to be a father, but he is Director of Mossad for a reason. The DA was unable to trick him into giving the answers he wanted to hear."
Tony didn't stop frowning, though. "But judging from your first comment, you two haven't made up?"
Ziva gave a noncommittal jerk of the head. "I did not come here to talk about my father."
"Then why did you come here?" Tony asked. "Certainly not to check on my water supplies."
"I wanted to know why you weren't in court," Ziva shot back because she didn't appreciate his sarcasm and had no idea what else to say. Why had she come here if she didn't want to talk about what had happened in court or between her and Eli?
Tony sighed. "I already apologized for that and I would do it again, but you know, breaking the rule twice within an hour seems like tempting fate. But I promise I'll be there tomorrow." He smiled encouragingly, but it didn't have any effect on Ziva.
"I'm not sure I will," she said quietly.
"What?" Tony stared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm supposed to testify tomorrow morning."
Understanding dawned on Tony's face, but that only highlighted the disbelief in his eyes. "I see, but I thought we already talked about this. You promised you'd do it."
Ziva put down the almost empty bottle of water to avoid looking into his eyes. "No, actually, I only said I would talk to my attorney, not to a courtroom filled with people."
Tony knocked the water bottle off the table so that its remaining contents wetted the carpet. "Ziva, you can't just decide not to show up tomorrow! They will lock you away for the rest of the trial and your life! You were lucky that you weren't considered a flight risk in the first place!"
She understood his frustration – or at least Ziva thought she did – but she didn't know what else to say.
"Dammit, Ziva! What's the problem?" Tony went on. "Is it the talking about it part? I know it's hard, but you already talked to me and to your lawyer. That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Now it was Ziva's turn to look incredulous. "I ended up crying like a scared, little girl on both occasions!"
"So what? I thought the jury was supposed to see that you do have feelings. Don't you see that this is your father's fault all over again?" Tony looked at her and when he continued, he grabbed her shoulders, and there were no more signs of anger, his voice sounding concerned and almost pleading instead.
"Don't let him increase the pain you're dealing with by clinging to some stupid rules he taught you. No matter what he raised you to believe, it's okay to show your feelings, especially after what you've been through."
Ziva looked into his eyes and was once again amazed by this obvious proof of how much Tony cared for her and how well he knew her. They had been through a lot together over the years, but this was different. It felt like they had gone beyond what had been between them before, like she had realized only now what Tony was truly capable of. And suddenly Ziva knew that she had come here tonight because she didn't want to miss that anymore.
"Ziva?" Tony asked now because she still hadn't said anything. "What can I do to make this easier for you?"
She didn't think. She just did what she had wanted to do for a long time now and what she felt was the answer to his question. She grabbed his face with both hands and pulled it towards her to kiss him – but not as softly as she had done over the last couple of days as a means of thanking him for caring about her.
This time, Ziva really kissed him, let go of all those other painful emotions and only focused on how much she wanted to be with him. And although that longing had certainly been intensified by Tony's cute behavior of late, it had been there long before any of this had happened, and all of that pent-up passion was there in her kiss now.
Tony reacted to it instinctively, his mouth opening eagerly and his tongue beginning to duel with hers, but when the kiss got even more intense and began to arouse the promise of something more, he pulled away a little.
"Ziva…" he panted, a tense call for restraint that carried numerous doubts and questions with it, while at the same time his eyes were burning with desire.
"Tony," she whispered, her breathing irregular as well, "… shut up!" And she made sure of that herself by covering his lips with her mouth again and pressing her body to his in a way that made it absolutely clear what she wanted from him. Ziva didn't want to talk. She didn't want to think. She only wanted to love this man right here and right now.
And when her hands slid off his jacket and loosened his tie before travelling downwards towards his waistband, Tony stopped hesitating. He buried his hands in her hair and started placing kisses along her jaw line and down her neck while his hips started grinding against hers.
Ziva moaned and gave into his touch and into the passion that had sparked between them ever since she had first met him in the squad room at NCIS. And for the first time in over four months, Ziva could let go of her conflicting emotions for the men in her life – her father, Michael and of course Tony – and of all the pain and death that had been in her heart ever since she had been captured by Saleem's men.
Tonight, her world exploded again, not in pain, but in passion and love.
When Tony woke up again the next morning, he felt disoriented at first, but the feeling passed rather quickly. Waking up with his naked body entangled in the sheets of his messy bed was a situation he was quite comfortable with, after all. Although he had to admit that lately it hadn't happened as often as it had once used to. But Tony still remembered that he hadn't woken up alone on those occasions.
This morning, however, the beautiful Israeli woman, who happened to be the reason for the increasing absence of other women in his life, was suspiciously absent from his bed. Once that realization had really sunken in and his sleepiness had faded, Tony sat bolt upright in bed.
"Ziva?" he called, but he didn't get an answer, just as he had been afraid of.
Cursing under his breath, Tony put his boxers back on and checked the rest of his apartment even though he already knew that he wouldn't find her. Dammit! This was exactly what he had been afraid of. Well, actually, he wasn't sure what exactly he had been afraid of because their conversation from the other day had totally been blocked out by the incredible night they had spent together.
It had been everything Tony had ever imagined it to be and more (and after their undercover assignment as married assassins his expectations had been quite high). But none of that would do him any good if Ziva had woken up this morning thinking that he had taken advantage of her weak emotional state.
Right, that was it. That was what Tony had been afraid of when he had made that pathetic attempt to stop this from happening. If he had been able to produce coherent sentences, he would have told her that this was probably not the right time because she wasn't quite herself right now and might not really want this. But Ziva hadn't given him the chance to say any of these things because when she had kissed him like that… well, he was just a man, after all.
Of course, that excuse wouldn't help him much if he caught up with Ziva later in court. Tony suddenly paused and glanced at his watch. They (or Ziva, in any case) were supposed to show up in court in little over thirty minutes!
That realization came as a relief at first. Surely, Ziva had left only to be there on time, or hadn't she? Tony's relief quickly turned into panic when he remembered that they had never actually finished that argument about Ziva's reluctance to testify in court today. What if she was not on her way to court, but had actually gone UA?
Tony fumbled for his cell phone and pressed speed dial. He wasn't surprised when he was routed straight to voicemail. "Ziva, I know we never finished arguing about this, but I want you to know that if you don't show up in court today, I will personally kick your sexy ass back to Israel! You hear me? No, of course, you don't… ah, crap…"
He hung up and fumed over his helplessness for a while. When he had calmed down again, he already began to regret the message he had left Ziva. 'Kick her ass back to Israel'? They both knew that he would rather watch 'Little House on the Prairie' reruns for an entire day than send her back to Israel and back to Eli David.
But there was nothing Tony could do about that now. He could only get to court as fast as possible and hope that Ziva was there. And so he did. While he was driving, he called Abby down in her lab on the Navy Yard.
"Hey Abs, it's me. I'm on my way to court so I won't be able to show up for work and since McFlu is still playing hooky, Gibbs won't be too happy about that. So I thought, perhaps you could tell him because you know you're the only one who he won't kill…"
"Oh, hey Tony, don't worry," Abby's cheerful voice replied. "I have everything under control. I'm already working on a plan how to persuade Gibbs that we should all ditch work today and go to court instead. I mean, today's the day, right?"
Tony wasn't sure whether she was referring to Ziva's testimony or the delivery of the verdict, but he just said, "I guess so."
"Alright, then Team Ziva will be there!"
"Team Ziva?" Tony repeated, smiling for the first time today which was absurd since he should have been smiling all day long after such an amazing night.
"Yes, I didn't have the time to come up with a real catchy name yet, so I decided to stick with the classics. Anyway, I'll see you later in court."
Tony stuffed away his phone and stopped the car. A glance at his watch told him that he had to hurry up if he didn't want to be late. He ran all the way from the parking lot to the courtroom, but of course, he still rushed in late. When he spotted Ziva sitting right next to her attorney, as she was supposed to, Tony didn't care about the angry look from the judge, however, and dropped onto a bench to catch his breath again.
When Ms. Senate announced that Ziva would take the stand now, Tony thought he could actually feel the tension in the air. Everybody in the room knew that this was it. That wouldn't exactly make it any easier for Ziva, of course. When she rose to her feet to take the oath, she had to turn towards the rest of the courtroom.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?" the DA asked her.
Ziva's eyes found Tony's and though they were as fathomless as always, he tried to give her an encouraging nod. "I do," she said.
Once she had taken the stand, Ms. Senate stood as well. "Ms. David, could you please tell us what happened that night in Rock Creek Park?"
"I was running through the park when I met the two men. They harassed me and tried to rape me. I defended myself with the knife I had taken with me," Ziva replied matter-of-factly. So far, so good.
"May I ask why you had a knife with you?" Ms. Senate continued.
Ziva nodded. "It is Special Agent Gibbs' rule nr. 9. Never go anywhere without a knife."
Tony smiled. That was clever – presenting it as a NCIS rule rather than a Mossad habit.
"And you had never before seen the two men that attacked you?"
"No," Ziva replied succinctly, but added, "It was my first run through the park after the couple of months I wasn't in D.C."
Her attorney nodded, pleased with that clarification. "But why were you taking a run at such a late hour?"
Tony tensed. This was the tricky part. "Because I couldn't sleep," Ziva answered, trying to hide her reluctance, but Tony noticed it, of course.
"Why couldn't you sleep?" Ms. Senate insisted.
Ziva obviously hesitated with her answer. "I experienced difficulties with that ever since I returned from my last Mossad operation."
"You are referring to the one where you were held captive in a terrorist camp?"
"Yes."
"Were you exposed to any kind of torture during the months of your captivity?" Ms. Senate asked and Tony was immensely grateful that she had obviously decided to phrase this as a yes/no question instead of asking Ziva to elaborate on that.
Nevertheless, Tony could see how Ziva clenched her teeth. "Yes, I was."
"For how long?"
"Almost four months," Ziva replied and that haunted look was back in her eyes, but otherwise she seemed alright.
"Did you have the chance to talk about that with someone, to deal with it, before the night in the park?"
Ziva glanced at Tony. "No, I did not."
"How did these recent experiences affect your encounter with the deceased?"
"I reacted instinctively by doing what I had not been able to do for the last four months… I stopped them from hurting me." Her voice was beginning so sound fragile now.
"How did that make you feel?" Ms. Senate asked gently, having heard that as well.
Ziva looked vaguely into the direction of the jury. "Ever since I returned from Somalia, I've felt weak and… not safe. But I am sorry that they are dead. It was not my intention to kill them."
Tony was stunned. Ziva had actually answered all the questions and managed to present herself as exactly the kind of tormented and victimized kind of woman she had been supposed to. But what really shocked him was that it hadn't seemed like an act to him. His once crazy Ninja chick was not as bold and confident anymore as she always liked to pretend and a fresh wave of hatred towards Saleem for doing this to her overwhelmed him.
But the worst part hadn't even begun just yet – the cross-examination by the DA. When Henderson rose to his feet, Tony felt the sudden urge to drag Ziva out of here immediately, which was stupid, of course. Ziva had always been able to take care of herself. But now Tony wasn't so sure about that anymore.
"Ms. David, how many weapons did you have to surrender at the security checkpoint this morning?" Henderson asked his first question.
Tony moaned. Oh no, Ziva, don't say it…
"Three," she replied, however.
Henderson feigned surprise. "Did you expect an attack here in court?"
"I always carry three weapons with me," Ziva said truthfully.
"Oh, so already prior to the torture you had to endure and your heightened need for security afterwards?"
"Yes," Ziva replied because she had no choice.
The DA nodded. "Yes, it is a habit from your days with the Mossad, is it not? Since you always had to be prepared to kill someone…"
"I am no longer with the Mossad," Ziva shot back, evading the question.
But Henderson didn't seem to mind. "No, you are not, because your father dumped you in a terrorist camp. That must have been a difficult experience for you, or wasn't it?"
Tony couldn't believe that Ms. Senate didn't object to the way that guy was talking to Ziva, but then, it was probably supposed to be like that in a cross-examination. Still, Tony would have preferred to dump that guy someplace very unpleasant.
"Director David did what his duty asked of him," Ziva replied, again not really answering the question, although the way she spoke of her father kind of betrayed what she was feeling.
Henderson picked up on that, too. "Yes, we heard his testimony. But do you agree that the duty to his country was more important than saving his daughter from a suicide mission?"
"I understand why he made that decision…"
"That's not what I asked. I asked whether you agree with it."
Ziva looked like Henderson was lucky that she had been forced to hand over her weapons or he would be lying dead on the floor now. And in a way, Tony was relieved to see the old Ziva again. "No, I do not," she hissed.
"Then you must have been pretty angry when you returned to Washington after NCIS had rescued you – so angry, perhaps, that you went into the park and killed those two men of whom you thought that no one would miss them!"
"No, I did not intend to kill them…"
"No? Then why did you drive your knife directly into their hearts? I'm sure your Mossad training would have allowed for different ways to get rid off two drunk sex offenders."
"I killed them because they attacked me and because I could!" Ziva suddenly yelled. "There is only one man I would love to bring back from the dead so that I actually could murder him and that is Saleem Ulman. But I cannot do that and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. And so would have these two men if they hadn't decided to attack me and follow in his footsteps."
Ziva's sudden outburst was followed by a shocked silence. Tony was surprised as well, not by the content of her words, however, because she had basically already told him that, but by the obvious hatred and anger that was still inside her. Because the only other time he had heard Ziva yell as angrily as this had been during their argument about Rivkin's death.
But Henderson of course recovered pretty quickly. "So you do admit that you decided to kill the deceased in Mr. Ulman's stead?"
Tony couldn't believe this guy. He was very close to jumping to his feet and telling him to back the hell off, but thankfully, Ziva had found her composure again. "No, I made no decision of any kind that night. I defended myself when I was attacked. Due to… recent events I was unable to control the way I defended myself and for that I am sorry."
Henderson looked at Ziva and hesitated, but finally he said the words Tony had been longing to hear. "No more questions."
The judge nodded. "You may step down," he told Ziva and Tony sighed in relief. It was over. And she had neither broken down crying nor killed anyone – at least not yet.
Once Ziva had left the stand, Ms. Senate announced that she had no more witnesses, whereupon the judge ordered a short break before closing arguments would be presented. Tony rose to his feet and ignoring everybody else who started leaving the courtroom, he headed towards Ziva.
"Hey," he said when he head reached her and gently placed a hand on her arm.
Ziva winced and made a movement as if to grab his arm and rip it off, but then (thankfully) decided otherwise.
"Sorry," Tony said, obviously having underestimated how upset she was now. "Well, you were the first one who made that Henderson guy shut up so I'd say it went quite well," he joked, hoping to calm her down a bit.
Ziva looked at him, but before she could say anything, a familiar voice called her name from behind them and a certain forensic specialist rushed past Tony to give Ziva a fierce hug.
Author's Note: The verdict is coming up in the next chapter and it might just be the last one – but I can't say for sure because my muse will make the final decision on that. Still, please review while you still can, and as always, thanks to all of you who reviewed, read and enjoyed the last chapters!