Chapter Ten: Love and Loss


~*~......THE PAST.....~*~

Selphie walked proudly next to Quistis as they padded through Garden. It was after curfew, but Quistis had them sneak out.
"This is so not like you," Selphie said with an excided giggle. "You're always the calm, cool one, who wants to follow rules. Now you're telling me to break them!"
Quistis grinned back. But it wasn't her usual kind, caring smile. It was filled with menace. Selphie blinked, and Quistis was her normal self.
Oh, she thought. I must of imagined it.
"I have a surprise for you," Quistis said quickly. "In the party hall. You won't believe it! I mean, it's so wonderful. You'll be thanking me for days!"
A giggle forced its way from Selphie throat, "A surprise!? WHOO-HOO! Oh! I can't wait! Let's hurry!"
"Let's take our time," Quistis objected. "It won't go anywhere, I promise you."
Yet Selphie insisted they hurry faster. She ran ahead, hearing Quistis walking swiftly after her.
Selphie reached the party hall and threw open the doors, turning on the nearest light switch. The dark room exploded with light, and Selphie raced in to see....
....Nothing. Well, she saw chairs and tables, but no surprise
"Hey," Selphie complained, very confused. "Where is it?"
Quistis walked in and shut the doors behind her. She looked around the room and appeared to be confused as well. "Huh? Hey-- where did it go?"
Selphie felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Something felt very wrong to her.
"Open the door." She commanded, her voice wavering. "Let's go."
Quistis shook her head. "No."
She swallowed hard. The eerie feeling was growing. "I wanna leave." She started for the closed doors.
Quistis stepped in the way. "No. Let's just stay here and talk for a while then. I need to speak to you about Seifer."
"Huh?"
Quistis' eyes grew dark. She took a step near her. "Selphie, we need to talk..." Suddenly, Quistis' eyes grew wide with shock. "SELPHIE!" She screamed, "BEHIND YOU!"
Selphie whirled around to face whoever was behind her. Her eyes widened and she let out a low gasp of surprise and terror.


~*~....THE PRESENT....~*~


She deserves so much better than me, Seifer thought as he watched Quistis sleeping next to him.
After that had told each other they loved each other, they had sat down on the sand for more than three hours just telling one and other hopes and dreams, interests and life. Quistis had fallen asleep, and Seifer just sat there watching her.
She's so beautiful, Seifer thought. But I don't deserve her. She deserves someone like...
Someone like Squall. That's to bad, though. Squall's dead. I still don't understand how she was hysterical over him and then in love with me.
As Seifer watched her sleep, he realized part of her heart still belonged to Squall. She wasn't a total slut. She wasn't one at all.
Look what she's been through, he thought. All the pain, all the horror. She lost the one she loved, then she lost her best friend.
Selphie? Squall? Who killed you guys? I mean, you weren't my friends at all... but you were her friends, her loved one's. I still admired you guys. I really did.
First Squall was killed, Seifer thought darkly. Then Selphie was murdered. Who next? Cowboy? Chicken Wuss? Me? ....Quistis?
He vowed, right then, to protect Quistis with his life.
But I have to let her go. I can't be with her. She... no.
I've gotta leave her.
He leaned over and kissed Quistis on the head. She stirred but didn't wake. He stood up and backed away, "I'm sorry, love. I have to do this. You'll understand one day, right? I know you will. You've always been the great one. You're so perfect, in every way." He hesitated, "...Goodbye."
With that he turned and walked away, leaving her sleeping alone on the sand.


~*~....PAST....~*~


"SELPHIE!! BEHIND YOU!" Quistis screamed, her eyes wide with fear.
Selphie whirled around to face whoever was behind her. Her eyes widened and she let out a low gasp of surprise and terror.
Nobody stood behind her. Nobody at all. Selphie again turned to face a grinning Quistis.
"Not funny," Selphie said angrily. "You scared me."
Quistis tossed her head back and laughed coldly. "That's the point, bitch."
Selphie yanked back, shocked. "Quisty?" Selphie had never heard Quisty be so rude before.
Quistis stopped laughing but continued to smirk. "Oh, I know you. You and your damn cheerfulness. It did ever occur to you that people think you are a one brained cell bimbo?"
"W-what?" Selphie stammered, shocked. Why was Quistis being so mean?
"See?" Quistis cried, taking rapid steps forward. "You are stupid. You don't even understand what I'm saying. Poor poor creature."
Selphie swallowed, feeling her heart beat quickly. Now she was getting annoyed.
"Stop it!" Selphie shouted. "Why are you doing this? You're my best friend!"
Quistis' eyes flashed, and Selphie could have sworn she saw red. "Exactly," she hissed. "That's why I chose you to be second to die."
Her heart skipped a beat. "Second? You mean you killed Squall?"
Quistis snorted. "He had it coming to him, always treating Quistis like dirt, and she loved him."
Selphie blinked. "What? You're talking like you're not Quistis!"
She shrugged, "Well... I still am that stupid blonde girl. I am Quistis Trepe. She is me. I am her. See, I got tired of being stepped on all the time, Selphie. All the damn time!"
She's crazy, Selphie's mind raced. She's gone nuts! Squall's death did it to her... or did it? Did she kill Squall?
Selphie watched in amazement as Quistis' eyes filled with tears, true tears. "I loved Squall more than life, but he didn't care. All he cared about was that ass hole Rinoa."
"Hey," Selphie said, offended. Rinoa was her friend.
"He didn't care about you or me," Quistis continued as if she didn't hear Selphie. "Irvine or Zell. All he wanted was Rinoa. Didn't he see that I could offer him all Rinoa couldn't? Didn't he see that I loved him more than she did? That I would do anything for him!? No! He didn't. He didn't care about me, that cold bastard. So I figured, why should I leave him alive? Why let Rinoa have all the fun? I'd killed him so Rinoa would suffer. So that she would feel my agony of not having Squall near her. I killed him so that he wouldn't have his precious angel. Now, my dear friend, you need to die so that Squall is not lonely in the after life. He needs a friend."
She smiled insanely. "Come here. It'll only hurt a second."
"Quistis!" Selphie squeaked. "Stop! No! Please, no! How could you do this? Did you really do it?! Did you?"
Quistis suddenly smiled naturally. "Of course I didn't, Selphie." She looked sad, "but sometimes I wanted to, I hurt so much. Yet I could never harm Squall. I loved him. But it is almost as if my wish came true."
Selphie was still wary as Quistis sobbed. "Are you lying?"
Quistis looked up at her, pained. "No. I just... I don't know. I'm sorry. I've changed a lot recently. I didn't mean to scare you so badly."
Selphie instantly forgave her; she was that type. She walked over and hugged Quistis. "Don't worry. I forgive you. I understand."
"Thank you," Quistis whispered. "For everything."
Selphie smiled in reply.


~*~....THE PRESENT.....~*~


Quistis woke up sweating. And not because she was hot. It was actually fairly cool when she woke up. Night had fallen. Seifer was not next to her.
She smiled, remembering the kisses they shared.
I love him. How can I love him? He's a monster, yet he's my monster. I love him... as much as Squall. Maybe even more? God, I can't believe this.... Where is he? He must have gone inside.
She was only mildly insulted that he had left her out by herself, but didn't really care. She loved him. She loved him. She loved him.
She stood up, brushing sand away from her, humming softly. She remembered her dream then.
She had dreamt, while she slept, a dream of her and Selphie in the party hall.
Oh god, was it a dream? I don't think so. I was remembering what happened to Selphie! I was remembering!
Quistis silently cursed herself that she woke up before she found out who the killer was. Though, she did figure she would remember soon.
And the killer was not Seifer. I know it wasn't. He would never hurt me in anyway.
Boy, was she in for a surprise. She realized it when she was back in Edea's House, and Seifer was no where to be found.
Did he abandon me? No. Don't be silly.
"Seifer?" She called softly, after searching every room in the house. She called again when she heard no answer. She quickly marched outside and around the beach and house. He wasn't there either.
Where is he?
"Seifer!" She shouted against the waved. Still no response. She raised back inside, searching for his belongings. They were gone. Vanished. As did he.
She found a note lying on a table. She snatched it up and read it, twice actually.

My dearest Quistis,
I'm sorry, love. I left you with best intentions in my heart. You deserve better than me. You deserve someone that can take care of you. Please don't think I don't love you. I do, very much. I know that if you stayed with me, you'd get nowhere in life. You should be all you can in life. My life is leading down the wrong end. I don't want you ending up there too. Please understand. I'll miss you, but don't miss me, okay?
Forever Yours,
Seifer

Quistis let out a lonely sigh. She was alone again.
Seifer, you are a fool. You are really stupid. You can turn it all around. And I don't care if my life ends up bad.... as long as I am with you.
She felt a single tear run down her cheek. She had been crying so much lately, she felt pathetic.
Why did she seem to be having all the trouble?
She was a nice person. Yet she got all the pain. She loved and lost Squall. she had treated Selphie, her best friend, like crap at the party hall, then Selphie died. She had fallen for Seifer for him only to leave her also.
"WHY ME!?" Quistis screamed to the ceiling. "What did I do to deserve all this!?"
Nothing. I did nothing, yet I end up as the loser.
Her eyes narrowed, forming angry slits. Her mouth curved into a dangerous smile, her thoughts stopping.
Quistis ripped the note to shreds. She left the house in a hurry, leaving the remains broken on the floor.

AN: That might have been a bit confusing.... Quistis was having a dream/memory recall of the night Selphie died. You, the reader, experienced it through Selphie's point of view. Seifer left Quistis while she was sleeping....
Uh.... um.... uh..... ***Evil grin***
There is still a question that remains: What happened to Squall and Selphie?
And, hey, I never said this was going to be a Quiefer, did I? From here on in, I might not have them together, or even see each other again. Haha. Uh, maybe. What do you think!??!?