"When I gave you all
My heart and soul…"

Chapter 10

Summer's heart fluttered in her chest.

She... she was being kissed. By David. Shock stilled her, a gasp parting her lips as David's hands gently found her shoulder and cheek, thumbs working tender circles into her skin. His lips pressed firm, yet gentle against hers, moving in a rhythm so slow and sweet Summer felt her heart melt.

The quiet, comforted moan eased from her, aching right down through her chest. She leaned into the embrace as her mind swam with bliss.

The pressure, so sweet, so soft.. so caring. It felt like it had been a lifetime since anyone cared. The breath caught in her throat and she gasped again, feeling nothing but her own racing heartbeat.

David's hands firmed on her as he pressed his mouth harder against hers, claiming her breath as his own. His arms wound around her and pulled her close, careful of the tiny baby between them. His chest thudded hard, but deep down there was a comforting presence, feeling happy, warm and satisfied at last. He'd kissed her before, of course, but that was years ago. Now...

He gasped for breath as his lips grazed off hers, his eyes scrunched shut as he tried to process the rush of thoughts and emotions that flooded him. He'd ... he'd kissed Summer... what the hell had possessed him to do that?!

Stepping back, he opened his eyes, running them up and down Summer. Poor, with child, so, so broken...but beautiful. Afraid. In need. Trusting in him.

Her bright, round eyes slowly opened and lifted, glittering, to his. She was breathing heavy too.

David ran a a hand over his mouth, biting his lip behind his fingers. "Oh God..." What was he doing? Every part of him told him Summer was trouble. She'd been attacked, she had next to no qualifications, a dead end job and a child to support already... kissing her was a mistake.

So why did it feel so good? He loved her, he confessed shamelessly in his head. Even after all this time... he still loved her. It didn't matter that she wasn't what he'd expected as a girlfriend. She was his. His Summer. The same sweet, caring soul. And he bet if he only scratched the surface he'd find the happiness he once knew too, her smile...

He could take care of her. He was barely twenty... but he'd do it. For her sake, he'd do it all. He'd take on Ewin, as if he were his own. He'd take care of Summer. They'd be a family.

He felt his eyes glowing as the idea settled in his brain. "Summer..."

Summer's lips were still tingling from the kiss. Her arms hugged Ewin to her chest, his quiet mewls swallowed by the base of her throat. She could feel his little hand clenching in her collar, tugging with his tiny strength.

She was so confused. Staggering back a step, her brow furrowed, surrendering to the overwhelming clash of emotions. A groan slipped her lips.

"Oh my God." she breathed, screwing her eyes shut. She stepped back until she felt the couch touch the small of her back and leaned back against it weakly. Her knees felt shaky. "Please tell me that didn't just happen."

David... Loki... no! She wanted to throw her arms around her head and just forget for a moment, to escape into her own little world. But it was her whole little world, cradled in her arms that held her back. She rearranged her arms around Ewin, her hand cupping the back of his head, holding him to her body. His tiny heart beat against her racing one.

She couldn't bear to look up. Not at David, not now... he'd kissed her. She bit her lip guiltily; and she hadn't done anything to stop it. She'd as good as betrayed Loki.

Did she enjoy it? she found her mind asking herself. She froze as she thought of the answer - yes, she admitted with a shaky breath. She had. Feeling that, being held, being kissed ... she needed it. That comfort...

But from David? No...

"Loki." The tears pricked behind her eyes, but crept through her eyelids regardless. She felt her cheeks moisten.

She needed him...but what if, now, he decided he didn't want her? She'd cheated on him. He would never do that to her. And she was such a burden as it was, with Ewin. What if Loki decided she wasn't worth it after all if she couldn't even wait for him? What if she'd ruined everything forever, just because she'd felt a little lonely?

A quiet, strangled sob escaped her - and David was striding forward instantly. Out of the corner of her eye, Summer caught the movement, his arms opening to comfort her. "Oh, Summer-"

"No!" she shrieked, stumbling along the couch until there was open space behind her for her to retreat to. The wary, almost afraid, flash in her orbs stopped David in his tracks.

She hugged Ewin close, protectively. If Loki wouldn't come how the hell would she do this? How could she ever support him, give him the life he deserved, on her own? Her skin burned traitorously where David had touched her and she suddenly hated herself, a part of her dying inside with shame. How could she have done this? How could she have been so stupid? Loki would be heartbroken...

"Don't touch me!" she half yelled, the tears streaming down her face now. A whine left her, aching from her chest. Her head bowed low as she cried, clinging to her baby as if he was all she had left.

A kiss… he could forgive her a kiss, couldn't he? Loki... he had to. He had to know she cared for him and him alone. He hadn't blamed her when Thor had… taken advantage of her. But that was different, a voice in her head hissed condemningly. That was different and you know it. She choked back another sob. What if she just didn't tell him? Could she keep such a secret from him?

That's assuming he's even coming, something inside her pointed out. He might not come back for her. Thor was here – why wasn't Loki? David might be all you have now, the best you could ever get…

"Summer, I…" David stumbled, her weeping form jolting him sharply back to his senses. What had he been thinking? They were discussing about a man who had forced himself on her and he just swoops in and kisses her without warning! Surely that had been how her ordeal started. How could he be so senseless? "I'm sorry. I thought you felt the same way."

He wasn't sure if Summer even heard him, her eyes blinking open, innocently to the floor. Vacant, glazed… miserable. A spare tear leaked over her cheek. "He's not coming back…" she breathed almost inaudibly. "He's left me..."

"You don't want him back." David snapped instantly. He regretted his words the moment Summer flinched. She was feeling sad because of this monster? How? "You're better off without him after what he did to you. Both of you." His eyes flickered to the phone on the kitchen counter. "I'm going to end this."

"No!" Summer half screamed as David made a bee line for the phone, but he shrugged of her sleeve-grasping hand effortlessly. He didn't dare look at her, turning his back solidly as he snatched up the phone and punched in the number.

Holding it to his ear, hearing the ring, he turned to Summer at last. He wanted her in his mind while he outed this man, and he wanted her to hear. She had to know that there was nothing to fear. Not anymore. David would never let that man or any other hurt her ever again. Even if she didn't feel the same way towards him as he felt to her, a part of him admitted quietly inside him.

The phone rang and rang, and Summer's teary eyes rolled skywards, getting a grip on her emotions at last. Then a robotic voice spoke into his ear, denying his call: "There is not network signal in the area you are trying to reach. This may be due to interference, a signal error …"

David let the phone down with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. Darcy wasn't answering… signal in the area may be damaged? That had never happened before. All the same, it meant that he was out there with his cousin, walking free after all he'd done.

There was no way to warn anybody about what he was capable of. He just wasn't human, David thought with an inward growl. Doing what he did… that wasn't what a man would do.

He cast his eyes over to Summer, drinking in the fragile woman and her baby, clutched in her arms. What a life, he thought with a sad sigh. She deserved so much better, so much happiness. And Ewin too. It wasn't his fault who his father was. David felt his heart strings tug painfully, and moved with slow steps towards the pair.

Summer's face just crumpled as he wrapped her gently in his arms, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. He'd be there for her. For as long as she needed him.

XXX

"Loki... what are you doing here?"

Ensuring you never return, Loki answered in his head. Ensuring you never ruin me again. On the outside though, he kept his face impassive, despite the venomous growl in his thoughts.

He stared at the man sat before him and felt nothing but contempt. Thor didn't look suited to mortal life. Dressed in strange clothes, caked in mud, looking worn and weary... this was a different man to the arrogant prince Loki knew. This looked like the man who'd just lost everything.

Well, he had, Loki thought, resisting the urge to glance to where he knew Mjolnir to lie, somewhere through the walls and drapes. Thor's prized weapon...

And now he couldn't even lift it. He had no power, no status, no family... he really did have nothing. Pity wasn't an option for Loki. Now he knows how I feel, snarled through his head. To lose everything. To have nothing and no one left...staring down at his brother now, sat in the chair, he saw the same deep sorrow in those once bright blue eyes that he understood, that he felt in his heart.

The sting of Summer's betrayal was still deep in his soul, a sharp pain panging every few minutes to remind him of it. It was crippling. His heart was numb for the convulsions. It ached, it hurt, and Loki wanted nothing more than to just crawl in a ball and bawl like a child, to find Frigga and let her hold him through the night like it was all just a nightmare.

Summer's face swam in his mind and he stopped breathing. Her dark waves of hair, her ivory skin, those eyes... he'd seen them sad so many times. But now, in his head they were crinkled in the corners with smiling, her beam dazzling. As if she were happy he was gone.

Was that true? Was she happy at last? She had that man, she had her child, they had a place to live... it didn't look like they were struggling, like she was being abused anymore. She could be happy. Maybe he could give her what Loki could not. Even if Loki brought her back it could not have been for a while; her safety could not be guarenteed yet.

Maybe with this man she was safer than with him. Maybe she was happier. If that was the case... then how could Loki take that away from her?

Even if he couldn't be the one to give it to her.

Even though it killed him inside, so, so much...

But Loki couldn't betray any of that. He had to stay calm, impassive. "I had to see you." He breathed quietly. It wasn't entirely a lie. He did have to see Thor... just not for the reasons he was about to profess.

Thor's eyes glistened fragilely, his voice quiet. "What's happened?" Loki's carefully chiselled expression - dignified sadness - was having the effect it needed to. It was a lot more controlled than the raging monster tearing itself apart inside. Thor's orbs were gleaming, and Loki could see the utter relief in them at just seeing someone he knew, the hope staring to flare subtly. "Tell me." he urged. "Is it Jotunheim? Let me explain to Father-"

"Father is dead."

He was on Earth... it was hard for Loki to believe he was really on Earth. Summer was so close in his reach, and yet so far. A long way away, seperated by land and seas she was breathing the same air, was under the same sky. She should be sleeping now... in his arms?

His anger was starting rise, circling with his despair in a deadly dance, feeding off one another. Anger at her - at everyone! Why him? Why had this all happened to him?!

Going back, he knew he would be in trouble. He'd used the Bifrost, unknowingly of the gatekeeper. Even now, he kept himself shrouded, out of Heimdall's senses. If he heard the words exchanged, knowing they were false... Loki would be doomed, ratted out by Heimdall and...well, what could he do then? The gate keeper didn't trust him as it was.

But then, did it really matter anymore? Perhaps it was worth getting caught. Exile, execution, imprisonment... it would all be welcome compared to this suffering. He had nothing to fight for anymore.

Loki watched the disbelief, the horror sink into Thor's eyes before him - the same expression that bled onto Summer's face when she'd been told she was being send back to Earth, his heart reminded him with a stab of pain.

"What?" Thor gasped.

Oh, it broke his heart thinking of her. Why couldn't she leave his head? Didn't she shed tears for him at all? Didn't she care? Didn't she want him enough to wait for him just that little bit longer, to trust him when he said he was coming?

Maybe he did have something to fight for after all, he thought, his heart contracting, chilled as ice: to make everyone feel as awful as he did. It was all he could think to do now. Why not? He had nothing to lose. None of it mattered anymore. These people weren't exactly innocent either. If he deserved to suffer, then surely they did. Fine - he could do that. If they'd kicked him down, he would drag them down with him too.

It was strange to Loki, feeling… nothing as he spoke of his 'father's death'. He didn't feel guilty, sad, or remorseful. If anything he felt disappointed – disappointed that it wasn't the truth. "You and Summer's banishment, the child, the threat of a new war…" he said quietly. "It was too much for him to bear."

Well, it had been too much - he'd fallen into the Odinsleep because of the strain. Not death, but still… "You mustn't blame yourself." He went on, watching Thor's eyes fall. What was that? flashed sharply thorough his head at the wounded look in Thor's eyes. A humility, a sensitivity he'd never seen before humbled his brother. He almost did feel pity then, hand instinctively twitching to touch Thor's shoulder and comfort him. He resisted - Thor had not comforted him when he'd needed it most. "I know that you loved him. I tried to tell him so, but he wouldn't listen."

The first tear fell, and Loki fought hard to keep his composure. Thor could cry?! He had emotions after all? Oh, how much Loki wanted to throw this back at the giant; he could cry now, but at the knowledge his first born was out there, that he might suffer … no, that hadn't mattered to him one bit.

Thor was crying ... and Loki wished he could join him.

Loki forced himself to get to the point before he got too sentimental. That was dangerous. He had only enemies now, he reminded himself. Summer was all that mattered, and even she was gone. Everyone was responsible for ruining Loki's life, all fanning the fire - and everyone would pay. "The burden of the throne has fallen to me now."

The very thing Thor had always wanted. But as Thor looked up from his seat, Loki was surprised to find not a trace of jealousy there, no anger or envy… just sadness. There was a plea in his orbs: "Can I come home?" Thor eventually asked.

I'd rather let you die, Loki replied venomously in his head. Despite what he'd said earlier – he wanted Thor to blame himself. It was his fault. Summer, the baby, Jotunheim, the end… everything. All this could have avoided by him simply standing up for Summer at the time he'd needed to, and Summer and her baby could be safe in Asgard. The Jotuns wouldn't be a threat. Summer would never have strayed to that man. Everything would have been mendable, despite Thor's gross misdemeanour.

"The truce with Jotunheim is conditional upon your exile." Lies. There was no such truce. They were next on his list of problems though, once he was done sealing Thor to this desolate planet. There was so much he wanted to destroy now.

"Yes, but could we find a way..."

"And Mother has forbidden your return." There. The nail in the coffin. "This is goodbye, Brother." He breathed, feeling a huge weight lifted off him as he said it. He felt like he wanted to smile, to smirk ... but after Summer he wasn't sure if he would ever smile again.

There was nothing fake about the soft sadness in his voice, but it was't for Thor: "I'm so sorry."

There was a slight pause as his words sank in to his brother. Finally, Thor lifted his head. His eyes still looked hurt, glistening. "No." he gulped. His voice sounded so weak. How was this the warrior that had defiled Summer, the mighty warrior of their realm? "I am sorry. For everything."

His orbs glistened with sincerity and Loki quashed his gasp – Thor was apologising for Summer. He knew it. For Summer and the child… just days ago he'd been uncaring. What could have happened since then to make him so remorseful? The pure knowledge this was his last chance to make amends with his brother? Loki's heart skipped a beat as the possibility that Thor had somehow made contact with Summer and her son flittered through his head. No, he reassured himself quickly. He would have said, especially in this new 'humbled' state. And she had someone new..."Thank you for coming here."

Loki allowed himself to gulp, feeling his emotions rage inside, for Summer and for Thor. His eyes cast over the brother he'd loved and hated… for what he hoped would be the last time. This was all your fault, he accused in his head. "Farewell."

He turned without another word, letting his face fall, his eyes dull with his numb triumph, letting the true emptinss he felt inside consume him. Now you know how it feels, he hissed in his head. To lose everything and think it will never get better. Only, for Thor, it wouldn't. He would be trapped here until that mortal body of his wore out and died.

It was no more than he deserved.

Thor's last word, his final goodbye echoed in his head as he stepped away, sealing one phase of Loki's troubled life locked away forever, for both Summer and his brother. His eyes squeezed shut: "Goodbye."