"Now, let's review the strengths and importance of each House and I will let you go for the afternoon."
"Again?" Alfred whined, pleased to note that Arthur had sighed in frustration as well.
"We've done this a hundred times over at least, Yao. It's not as if the other monarchs are going to test us on it." Arthur remarked flippantly, and Alfred bit back a smile. He liked it when Arthur talked back; it was fun to see him lose his composure enough to be as feisty as Alfred knew he could be.
Arthur could hardly be blamed for his irritation. Not only had they been cooped up since early morning, reviewing history lessons and noble titles and political affairs, but summer had descended upon the Kingdom of Spades with a vengeance, and was making everyone miserable. The sun would barely be up for two or three hours and the maids would have every window open, and still it would not be enough to cool the palace down. Alfred and Arthur had taken to running around with jackets and waistcoats long forgotten, white shirts partially unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up, barefoot if they thought they could get away with it. Yao didn't try to reprimand them, telling them to enjoy it before the Deck Council started and they had to be dressed in their finest, all the while trying to wipe sweat from his brow and fanning himself with a painted paper fan.
The Jack increased his fanning. "I don't care what you think they will ask you! I won't have my charges embarrassing me. So go on, Arthur you start. House of Diamonds."
Alfred watched as Arthur swallowed thickly in the dry air, Adam's apple bobbing in a way that had him mostly staring at the milky white throat instead of paying attention to what Arthur was half-heartedly reciting.
"Kingdom of Diamonds. Located to the South, inland. Ruled by King Francis, and his Jack, Vash, whose younger sister Lilli will be crowned Queen. She will turn sixteen next spring, but due to a contract created by her brother, she will not legally take the throne nor marry King Francis until she is eighteen years of age. The Kingdom of Diamonds is the largest in terms of land, and is the financial centre of the united Deck. All currency has passed through the banks of their capital at one point. Their greatest strength is wealth, unmatched by the rest of the Kingdoms combined in terms of mineral resources and trade."
"Very good." Yao smiled tiredly, then looked to Alfred. "House of Clubs."
"Ummm... they're to the North, so it's colder there than it is here. It snows more often. Lots of mountains? It looked pretty small on the map, I think. Roderich is the Jack, the Queen is the lady whose name I can never remember..."
"Elizaveta. Honestly, Alfred pay attention," Arthur sniped, trying to undo another button on his collar. Alfred lost his train of thought for a moment, absorbed in Arthur's fumbling fingers and the increase in skin after they succeeded.
"Right! Right. Elizaveta. It's not my fault they have such strange names! And... and King Ivan. He's the one who started the war that Lord Kirkland stopped." Here, Alfred beamed fondly at Arthur, only to be met with a roll of the eyes and Yao slamming his fan on the table.
"Your Highness, we have been through this a million times; The current King Ivan is not the same Ivan that started the Deck War. That was his uncle. In fact, the King Ivan you will be working with opposed his uncle's actions and stood against him. That is why his people chose him as King during the reconstruction. He's a hero in his own right, and you would do well to treat him with caution and respect."
Alfred mentally slapped himself. "Okay, fine. King Ivan the good guy, who is nephew of King Ivan the bad guy. Right. The Kingdom of Clubs... strengths! Right. They have the largest military of the four Houses, and the best weapons. Of course, they couldn't do it without our technology, so really, we're better than them."
"That's not what that means, Alfred. None of the Houses are better than the others."
"Arthur is correct, your Highness. All of the Houses are interconnected. We depend on the support of the Diamonds, and the Clubs depend on us for our technology. And what of the House of Hearts, Arthur?"
"The House of Hearts is the oldest House. Agriculture is their forte; they feed the four Kingdoms, in essence. The have rich history of art and culture, and work to preserve the traditions of all of the Houses. They are ruled by King Ludwig and Queen Kiku, and the Jack, Feliciano."
Yao nodded in satisfaction once again. "Quite right. The House of Hearts is the essence of what keeps us human; connection to the earth and to our past. Their power is not to be taken lightly. And, your Highness, what of your own Kingdom?"
Alfred pushed sweaty fringe away from his forehead, but perked up at the mention of his own lands. "Our Kingdom is nearest the sea. We're explorers and inventors! Our people have invented all sorts of useful things like medicines and new ways of building and travelling. And I'll be King of it all, the year after next."
Everything seemed to stop for a moment. Alfred's skin felt ice cold and his heart started to beat so fast he thought it would fly up his throat and out of his mouth.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, voice petering out to a whisper as a rush of thoughts assaulted him.
"Alfred are you alright?"
Alfred could hear a ringing in his ears and could feel hands on him but then the world went black and he felt like he was falling. The next thing he knew, he was laid out on the sofa in the study, with Arthur peering over him while Yao ran from the room. Arthur was stroking his cheeks gently, then brushing his fingertips along his temple and jawline, calling his name repeatedly with urgency. Alfred didn't want to wake up if it meant that Arthur would stop touching him; his fingers felt cool and soft and Alfred wanted them more places than just his face, and that thought didn't help with the heat at all. But it didn't seem like Alfred could control the fluttering of his eyelashes as he resurfaced into consciousness, and he was looking into Arthur's concerned face.
A smile blossomed on Arthur's lips and Alfred felt so sticky hot he thought he might combust.
"Hello, there."
"Nnngh, what happened?" Alfred tried to sit up, but Arthur pushed him back onto the sofa.
"No, don't. You fainted, I think. You were talking, and then you just fell forward and we couldn't wake you. Yao went for help."
"I fainted?" Alfred's mouth felt like it was full of cotton and dirt and he lolled his tongue against the roof.
Arthur nodded, then smiled again. "Your eyes went terribly crossed."
"Did they really?"
"Mhmm." Arthur was still smiling, even chuckling, but it sounded sad, and he brushed his fingers through Alfred's hair with a fondness that Alfred had never felt before.
"What's wrong, Arthur?"
"You just scared me, that's all." His lips pressed into a thin line and he shifted on his knees.
"How long was I out?"
"Just a few minutes, but still... was it the heat? Or is something else the matter, Alfred?"
Alfred tried to sit up again, but was met with resistance and flopped back down. He rubbed his eyes, batting Arthur's hands away from his hair as he tried to explain. As much as he wanted Arthur's attentions, it was too hot and too hard to think with the distracting sensations.
"I had a thought..."
"A thought made you faint? Heaven help the Kingdom, then!" Arthur was teasing him, he knew, but Alfred didn't laugh or stick his tongue out like he usually would. He gave Arthur a level look, waiting until the smile had slipped from his face before continuing.
"I'm being serious. Arthur, I've just realized that I'm going to be King;."
Arthur made a noise of disbelief. "You've just now realized that? What, did you think we were calling you "your Highness" all these years just to amuse ourselves?"
"No! Listen!" Alfred pushed himself up into a seated position, not caring that it made his vision swim. "I've always known, but now I feel it. I'm going to be in charge of an awful lot of people, Arthur. Everyone in the country! I'll have to protect them and help them and care about them. They're going to be mine, and I'm going to be theirs. I have to do it right. Talking about all the Kingdoms made me realize, and it scared me and- "
"You're not scared of anything," Arthur interrupted, sounding rather scared himself, but trying to lighten the mood. "Except ghosts. And not getting dessert."
Alfred still wasn't laughing. "Well, I'm scared of this. Not the kind of scared that makes me want to run, but the kind of scared that makes me want to be better. My people are looking to me to be the best King possible, and I am not going to disappoint them. Do you understand?"
Still kneeling on the floor in front of the sofa, Arthur looked up at him with eyes widened in surprise. The way his gaze kept wandering over his face made Alfred wonder if perhaps this was the first time Arthur was seeing him at all. Shaking, Arthur took both of Alfred's hands in his own and squeezed them gently. He looked up at Alfred once more with a mixture of pride and fear, then kissed the back of his hands before resting his forehead on them.
"You're going to be a wonderful King."
Alfred could have sworn he heard sniffling, but then Yao was coming through the door with a pair of maids and the physician and Arthur was jumping to his feet.
"He's awake? Alfred are you alright?" Yao was in a panic, turning Alfred's face this way and that.
"Yes, he woke up not long after you left. He's been responsive." Arthur cleared his throat and Alfred noted the way he rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes.
"Give him some room, Jack, let the boy breathe!" The physician was a kindly looking older gentleman, black hair and neatly trimmed beard going grey in some spots. Alfred had rarely had cause to see him, but he knew that Yao thought he was a genius and did whatever he advised.
The physician took Alfred's pulse and examined his eyes and did all manner of strange tests, pinching and poking in ways that occasionally tickled. He seemed to be satisfied that Alfred was not in any danger and bade one of the maids to pour a glass of water. He rifled about in his medicine case until he found a vial of powder, and tapped some of it into the glass, stirring it until it had disappeared.
"Drink this."
"What is it?" Alfred sniffed at the drink cautiously, but could detect no odour.
"It'll make you feel better. Just drink it."
Alfred did as he was told, surprised at how sweet the water tasted. He was also surprised at how thirsty he was, chugging down the water so quickly that a little of the liquid dripped down his chin and he was panting when he was done.
The physician laughed, and poured him another glass, this time without the medicine, and took his leave, telling Yao that Alfred should be allowed to rest for the afternoon.
"Come now, your Highness. Let's take you to your rooms." Yao motioned for Arthur to help in getting Alfred on his feet, still wary of his condition.
"No! I want to keep studying! I feel fine, really!"
Yao stopped and looked at Arthur, bewildered. "Did I hear him correctly? Did he just say he wants to study?"
"It seems his Highness has undergone a personal revelation during his fainting spell, Jack. He has... matured quite suddenly," Arthur said, a sparkle of amusement ringing in his voice.
Obviously unsure what to make of Arthur's explanation, Yao put his hands on his hips. "Well, whatever has happened, I don't think it wise to strain your Highness more than necessary at the moment. There's been enough study for today."
Upon trying to stand, Alfred found he had gone a bit calf-legged and he had to lean on Arthur for support or else fall back onto the sofa. He wasn't sure if it was from fainting or if the medicine the physician had given him was making him feel so relaxed, but Alfred continued to struggle forward, knees faltering a few times until he got the hang of walking again.
"See, you're in no condition to work!"
"It's my legs that have gone stupid, not my brain, Yao."
"That's debatable," Arthur quipped, tightening his hold on Alfred's waist as he steered him around the corner and towards his rooms.
It had taken some wheedling, but Alfred had managed to convince Yao that he felt well enough that Arthur could stay and help him study a little more. He did feel fine. Better than fine, in fact. His legs and arms felt almost heavy and his skin was tingly, but his mind was awake and whole effect was actually quite intoxicating. Alfred felt excited and smart, like he was finally understanding everything around him and that made him powerful. And Arthur, he was treating him differently, too; not like a child, not like he was fragile, but like the things he said and thought were important. He still teased him, but not once did he try to ruffle Alfred's hair or pinch him or call him "Alfie".
"Arthur?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think it's harder to be King or Queen?" Alfred was laying on his bed, and rolled his head to the side to look at Arthur, who was sitting at his bedside in plush chair. A few books lay open across the mattress, a few more in Arthur's lap. Alfred had been looking at a map of the Kingdom of Clubs, but the lines and colours meant little to him, even with his new resolve to take his position in life more seriously.
Arthur squinted at him, trying to determine if it was a loaded question. "I don't know. What do you think?"
Alfred laced his arms behind his head. "Well, a Queen has to take care of foreign affairs. Like, maintaining all of the treaties between the Kingdoms, and she-
"Or he. Gender doesn't matter."
"I know it doesn't! I was just saying hypothetically, she, he, whatever, has to be the spokesperson for the House abroad. A Queen has to have the trust of the entire realm, even the people not directly under his or her control. That seems like an awfully hard job to me. To make everyone like you? I mean, a Queen gets to travel more, and that might be fun, but it seems like it would be worse than being King."
Arthur was quiet for a while, and played with the edges of one of the books in his lap. His eyebrows drew closer together, and Alfred knew that meant he was going to disagree with him.
"Yes, I suppose that does seem like a hard job. But I don't think a King has it any easier. He-"
"Or she!"
"Fine, or she, but we know you're going to be King so we might as well not go to all that trouble." Arthur smiled at him. "A King rules over his House. He creates and executes the laws of the Kingdom. He is the closest to his people, closer even than the Jack. He hears their problems and celebrates their successes. Everyone will look to him. If he doesn't have the love of his people, it doesn't matter what the Queen does or does not do. Foreign support does little good to a King if his own people do not want him on the throne. To win over an entire country? To make a family of a million individual people? That seems like the harder job to me."
Alfred hadn't thought of it that way. There would be so many things Alfred would have to take care of, from the small, every day troubles of individual citizens, to matters that would encompass the growth of the entire Kingdom.
"I guess neither job seems very easy, does it?"
"And that's why it takes a both a King and Queen to keep things in order. And a Jack, to act as secretary and advisor. It's a team effort, really, so perhaps no role is harder than the other; they all have to work together and depend on one another."
"And the Houses have to do the same, don't they? We all have to work together, or it falls apart."
Arthur nodded. "It falls apart."
"Shit."
Arthur tried to give Alfred a disapproving glare for his language, but then his mouth twitched and neither of them could stop laughing. Alfred was wiping tears from his eyes and clutching his belly, aching with happiness. He had never seen Arthur laugh so hard in his life, finding him leaning over Alfred's bed with his head buried in his arms, shoulders shaking, soundless in his hysterics. A rush of affection exploded in Alfred to see him so carefree and he sat up and put a hand on Arthur's twitching head, ruffling his hair for once instead of the other way around.
"Oh, shit indeed." Arthur coughed out tearily, as he looked up. "We're doomed! One little curse word and our beloved King is in a fit of giggles. However will he manage a Kingdom?"
"I'm not King yet! Besides, I'm sure you'll be there to wash my mouth out with soap and set me straight," Alfred teased.
"Yes, I probably will. Now let's clean this up. I don't know about you, but I've had enough of Kingdoms and Houses for today." Arthur began gathering up the books while Alfred folded a few maps and tied them closed, piling everything up on his bedside table.
There was one thing still bothering him.
"Arthur?"
"What is it?"
"When do you think Yao and the Council will choose a Queen for me? Well, for the Kingdom, I mean, but I have to marry-"
"No, I understand!" Arthur cut him off, and busied himself with stacking the books on the table and moving his chair back to its proper place. "They'll choose when they think they need to. There's no sense worrying about a Queen now. Like you said, you're not King yet, so why worry about it?"
"Because I want to know! I wish I could ask Yao why they haven't chosen yet. All the other Queens seem to be chosen so young, but I haven't heard anything. Have you?"
"Don't go asking Yao anything! If he wanted you to know, he'd tell you. These things are complicated, Alfred. There's a lot at stake when choosing the Queen or the King and the timing of such announcements is just as important."
"But what if they don't choose until after I'm crowned? I'd have to get married right away! I don't want to marry someone I hardly know!"
Arthur was getting uncomfortable; Alfred could tell. He was plucking at his clothes and kept trying to make his hair lie flat, and he was blinking too much. "Why would it matter how long you know them? Marriage is just a formality."
"But I don't want it to be!" Alfred cried, and shifted to sit on his knees.
"What?" Arthur stopped his frenetic self-adjustments and gawked at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Alfred growled to himself and flopped on his side melodramatically. "Never mind. You'll think it's stupid."
"No, I won't. I promise. Tell me."
Sitting upright again, Alfred balled his fists into the bedding and stared resolutely into his lap. "I just don't want to get married to someone I don't love, okay? I know that sounds girly and dumb, but that's how I feel about it. If Yao doesn't tell me who it is soon, then how am I supposed to fall in love?"
Arthur didn't answer him right away, and Alfred was afraid that he would be laughing. He wouldn't be able to bear it if Arthur made fun of him now, not about something so important to him. There were very few things in life that Alfred truly wanted for himself that he couldn't have by grace of his position; perhaps it was naïve to think so, but love had to be the most noble thing to ask for. In his heart of hearts, Alfred knew what he truly wanted was for Arthur to love him, but that didn't seem like a viable option, not for a King, not unless he wanted to repeat his father's mistakes. That was something Alfred refused to do. The best he could hope for was a chance to learn to love his Queen and that Arthur wouldn't leave the palace for a long time. It wouldn't be the same, but duty required sacrifice.
Lost in his thoughts, Alfred jumped when he felt the bed sink down with Arthur's weight as he sat next to him.
"What if you can't love the Queen?"
"I will."
"You can't know that."
"I'll make myself love him or her. I won't get married otherwise."
"But you can't do that! You can't just decide to love someone, Alfred!" Arthur hands were fisted in his lap, his knees draw together almost defensively, shaking from the effort of being clenched.
"Can't you? Shouldn't that be the easiest thing in the world? To just decide to love?" A surge of pride welled in Alfred's chest and he spoke with conviction. "That's going to be my job, Arthur. That's all a King does. You said you thought it would be hard because a King has to love and be loved, but I think that that is what makes it easy. That's what makes it good."
Arthur didn't say anything, but his hands unclenched.
"I know you think it's silly-"
"I don't." Standing again, Arthur looked down at him. "I don't think it's silly. I think that is the most wonderful thing you can hope for, Alfred, I truly do. And I understand why you feel that way, but I can't talk about this anymore. I can't. People, normal people, get to choose their fates and their loves and their entire fucking lives." Alfred flinched, shocked by the sudden anger in Arthur's voice and the desperate look in his eyes. Arthur bore down on him, a finger pointing in his face menacingly. "We don't. Privilege destroys choice, Alfred. You know that. Maybe you think you can switch your heart on and off and love whomever you please just because you decide to, but you're marrying a person, not a wish. You can't command someone's love. It'll be a very hollow life if you try." Something in Arthur's eyes shut down and his voice lost passion. "Besides, some people just aren't lovable. All the good intentions in the world won't make a person something they are not. Don't set yourself up for disappointment by idealizing, Alfred, please."
Alfred didn't understand where all of the hurt in Arthur's voice was coming from. He only knew he wanted to make it better. He reached out to catch Arthur by the wrist, but the other pulled away and made to leave the room.
"No, wait! You're not going to leave, are you?"
Arthur paused, hand on the doorknob, and rested his forehead against the wood.
"Do you mean now, or in general?"
"Both."
Arthur sighed and opened the door halfway. "No, I think I'll be hanging about and washing your mouth out with soap for a while yet." He looked over his shoulder and turned to leave once again.
"You're wrong, you know." Alfred scrambled to the other side of the bed, standing on his knees like before so that he towered over Arthur. "About what you said, about some people not being lovable? You're wrong. I know you think that, you think that about yourself. That's what you meant isn't it? Well, it isn't true. Maybe I don't know anything about love, but I know about you and you're wrong."
A tense stillness blanketed the room, and for a moment Alfred thought that he had said too much. Then he realized that he didn't care. He should have said more. He should have told Arthur outright that he loved him and been done with it, never mind the consequences or his Kingdom. He wasn't King yet, and even if he were, he doubted very much that he would feel anything but love for Arthur in this moment.
Just as he was about to open his mouth and say so, Arthur lifted his head and gave him one last, heart shattering look.
"I can't talk about this anymore."
And then he walked through the door, leaving Alfred alone with his wishes and no answers.
With only two days until the Deck Council arrived, Arthur couldn't afford to be on the outs with Alfred. He'd overreacted. Alfred had been spouting nonsense about love and duty and all Arthur had heard was that his freedom was being taken away. It was actually sweet, in a way, that Alfred was so set on loving the person he married; the only problem was that Arthur wasn't sure he would still hold that philosophy once he knew the truth about his future Queen.
Arthur had apologised after dinner, and he'd never seen Alfred look so relieved. Maybe Matthew was right, and Alfred did care about him more than he realised; there was something in that that both horrified and intrigued Arthur. He'd enjoyed Alfred's devotion as a child, when it had meant that he had some modicum of control over his actions, but as something close to a man, it was a different game entirely- one Arthur was still learning to play.
It seemed that more things than feelings and voices and bodies had begun to change, as well. Arthur wasn't sure how comfortable he was with the idea of a serious and responsible Alfred. There was something almost intoxicating about the way Alfred was devoting himself to preparations and studies; he was acting like an adult, and it was with some reluctance that Arthur conceded to himself just how much he had been ignoring the fact that Alfred was no longer a child. There was little left to do but wait until the coronation was upon them, and a wedding soon after.
It was just a formality, regardless of what Alfred thought.
And Arthur had bigger, or at least impending, concerns. Yao had abandoned them for last minute preparations, leaving the boys with little to do except practice their music and look over the pages and pages of the itinerary for the Council. Arthur was peeved to see that there were large banks of time devoted to pleasure and entertainment; he understood that, since the gathering was a once-a-year affair, it had to grand and celebratory, but as antisocial and self-conscious as he was, he wished that it would be boiled down to a simple week long conference. Instead, there were several dances and banquets to be held, hunts and tennis matches and all manner of frivolous pleasures. Some days' schedules were arranged more for diversion than diplomatic dealings. All told, the courts of the four Houses would be residing in the Spades Palace for six weeks, concluding the Council on Alfred's birthday. Arthur was already dreading having to spend so much time with the same group of people, never mind that he would have to do it every year for the rest of his life, and go on shorter visits in-between.
The morning of the Council's arrival, Arthur could barely keep his breakfast down. He sipped at his tea, but so much as mouthful of toast made his stomach turn in nervousness. Anticipation seemed to have the opposite effect on Alfred, who was so worked up that he was eating everything in sight. Alfred's skin seemed to have broken out overnight, and Arthur did not envy him the painful looking red bumps swelling on his cheeks and forehead.
As soon as they had finished their meal, they were whisked back to their rooms for baths and dressing. Anne had filled the bathtub with fragrant bubbles and while Arthur might have found this relaxing under normal circumstances, he found little pleasure in the hot, silky water and wondered if he could drown himself instead. He sunk down and let the bubbles cover his head, but it was too hard to stay still and drown himself properly and at any rate, Arthur thought with a smile, Alfred would be put out if he died.
Wrapped in a thick robe, Arthur had to endure the shame of Anne's attentions as she scrubbed and trimmed his fingernails, rubbing a clear oil over his hands to make them soft and his nails shine. He felt like he was show dog being readied for competition, and tried not to glower as Anne daubed something sticky onto his hair and combed it through. The snick of the comb and the way the tines ran over his scalp was almost soothing, and Arthur could have drifted off in the steamy warmth of the bath chamber, happy to be petted, but his hammering heart and tense shoulders prevented true bliss.
Anne held a mirror up for him to see, and gave him light squeeze. "See? Such a handsome face. You'll have all the ladies of the Council swooning. Some of the men, too, I imagine." Arthur blushed at that, but he had to admit he was impressed that Anne had tamed his hair. It was slicked back, but left a little wild on the top, so he looked clean and courtly, but still himself and not foppish. His increase in self-esteem was short lived however as Anne stroked his cheek and cooed, "And so baby smooth, you don't even need a shave!", placing a fond, but wet kiss on the pale skin.
Dressed in a new outfit, there was little left to do but sit in one of the parlours with Alfred and wait. Yao was still running around in a panic, flitting in and out to see if the boys needed anything or if they were misbehaving. Arthur wished he could undo his ribbon tie and collar, the threatening prickles of impending perspiration began to tingle on the back of his neck.
"Your hair looks nice," Alfred said, then spluttered. "Not that it looks bad normally, I just meant it's different today."
"Anne did it," Arthur replied, smoothing a strand of hair over his ear self-consciously, but oddly pleased that Alfred had noticed.
"I hate being dressed up."
"Well, get used to it. You'll have to spend the rest of your life done up."
Alfred rolled his eyes. "I'll just pass a law saying everyone can wear whatever they want. Or better yet that everyone has to go around naked!" He waggled his eyebrows wickedly and Arthur laughed.
"You would not. And if you did, I'd be the first of many to leave."
"I'd order you to stay. I'd make that a law, too: that you could never leave and you'd have to be naked all the time."
Arthur squawked, scandalized. "Alfred! You mustn't say things like that!" Feeling his cheeks get hot, Arthur removed himself from the sofa and went to look out the windows overlooking the courtyard instead.
"Why are you so embarrassed? We're both boys. I know what it all looks like anyway. You're such a prude!"
"I'm not a prude, you're just vile. Normal people don't talk about things like this, and Yao would have you spanked if he heard you."
Alfred scoffed arrogantly. "I'm too old to be spanked. And you are a prude. I'll make an official decree, and everyone will have to call you Arthur the Prude."
"You're getting a large head over this royalty business, your Highness." Arthur turned from the window to tease Alfred some more, but Alfred looked rather uncomfortable and was prodding at the blemishes on his cheeks. "Don't pick. You'll make them worse."
Making a pained face, Alfred ceased his fidgeting. "The doctor is making me put a nasty crème on them. It stings."
"Yes, but it will make the bumps go away, love, so don't fuss with it."
Alfred looked up at him curiously, a smile lighting up his face and what was probably a smart comment forming on his lips. Arthur realized with embarrassment that he'd let the term of endearment slip, and before he could be teased for it he looked out the window again. A lone rider on a black horse was coming through the palace gates and Arthur could see a small coach not far behind on the other side of the palace wall.
"Someone's here."
Nearly pushing him from the window, Alfred peered over his shoulder. The boots he was wearing made him just as tall as Arthur, and he vainly tried to stand up straighter.
"What! Who? That doesn't look like a royal carriage!"
The rider dismounted and handed his horse off to Matthew, who had just come rushing into the courtyard. Arthur squinted to see his face as the rider pulled back his hood, and then both he and Alfred gasped in a mixture of surprise and delight.
"Gilbert!"
Not caring for formality and courtly practice, they tore from the parlour, nearly slipping a few times on the freshly polished floors as they made their way out to the stone steps of the palace.
Arthur waited halfway down the stairs, while Alfred much preferred to fling himself at Gilbert and get a bone-crushing hug. The two had become fast friends in the Joker's infrequent visits; Gilbert was a much better opponent for Alfred when they played at fencing than Arthur was, and he liked to take the young royal out on hunts every now and then.
Gilbert slung an arm around Alfred's shoulders as they walked up the steps, pausing to smile and give a dramatic, sweeping bow as he approached Arthur.
"M'lady, you are looking radiant as always."
"Oh, shut it." Arthur said, but smiled and welcomed Gilbert's far too casual embrace readily. "What are you doing here? Yao didn't mention you would be attending Council."
"I'm not. I'm just here for the party. Figured I'd piss your handler off while I was in the neighbourhood." Gilbert winked, then caught Arthur's questioning look. "I've been visiting Peter. Your mother gave me a few letters for you, by the way."
True to his word, Gilbert had made steady visits to the Kirkland manor to watch over the growth of Arthur's brother. According to the letters Arthur had received from his mother, Peter, now five years old, had taken to calling him "Uncle Gilbert" and returned his every adoration. If his parents found it odd, they didn't say so, instead seeming grateful that someone of such renown was taking an interest in their otherwise titleless fifth-born. There was talk of Peter someday being taken on as a member of the Joker's household, a prospect that even Arthur's father found favourable for his son. Gilbert may have been eccentric, but he was a rich man with influence, and his favour was nothing to take lightly.
The trio walked happily into the grand foyer, Alfred chatting away excitedly about everything he had learned about the Council members until a fuming Yao descended upon them.
"As honoured as I am to have you as a guest of the Palace, Joker, do you not think it would have been courteous to inform me you were coming, especially since you were not invited?" He crossed his arms and scowled, the pulse in his temper becoming apparent.
"Relax, Yao. I'm not here to cause any trouble, I just wanted to see everyone. It's been a while. I didn't bring an entourage, just my horse and a trunk or two."
"Yes, but where am I supposed to put you! We don't have room!"
"Just stick me in the stables then!"
"I might have to!" Yao screeched, then took a breath as he calmed himself. "I apologise. Of course you are welcome, I am just... stressed. You know how these things go. Let me talk to my staff and see what I can do. I'm sure we can adjust the rooming arrangements to accommodate you, Joker."
Alfred grinned and cleared his throat. "He can have my room. I'll just share with Arthur."
Gilbert snickered and Arthur shot Alfred a warning look, but Yao just sighed and rubbed his temple. "You'll do no such thing. Now, is there anything I can get you?"
"Water would be nice. Or beer."
Yao quirked an eyebrow and the ghost of a smile crossed his lips. "Water it is, then. I'm sure you would like to catch up with Arthur and his Highness. I'll leave you to it." With a flurry of robes Yao was off again, and the trio made their way into the parlour.
"Good to see he still has the stick lodged firmly up his ass." Gilbert quipped after a maid had brought in a pitcher of water.
Alfred tittered childishly, and even Arthur allowed himself to laugh silently, covering his mouth with his hand.
"Did you see anyone on the road?" Alfred asked.
"About an hour or so back. The Diamonds had stopped their caravan for a little while. It seems the Lady was a bit ill from the motion of the carriage and needed a breath of fresh air."
"Queen Lilli was sick?"
Gilbert grinned slyly. "No, but Francis was." Arthur's face must have betrayed his shock at Gilber's cavalier remark, because the Joker held up his hands in defence. "The King of Diamonds has been a good friend of mine for a long time. I'm allowed to tease the little cupcake."
"Is he really as prissy as everyone says he is?" Alfred inquired, and Arthur reached out to smack his arm chidingly.
"Worse. Francis has always had expensive tastes, and it seems that the life of royalty has brought out his more... flamboyant side. He's a good man, he just likes his pleasures. Nothing wrong with that, I say." Gilbert gave a faux toast with his glass of water.
"And what about Lilli? Everyone says that she's the prettiest girl in the four Kingdoms!" Arthur tried not roll his eyes at Alfred's enthusiasm, especially when he saw that the Joker was looking at him out of the corner of his eye for a reaction.
"She is. Without a doubt. In all my travels, I have never seen a woman more beautiful save for one, but she's a right bitch so it spoils it." Gilbert made mock devil horns with his fingers. "The Queen of Clubs, but you didn't hear it from me. Then again, Lilli can handle a gun better than either of you, so perhaps sweet packages always hold dangerous gifts."
Alfred was far too impressed with this news for Arthur's liking, and he let his mind wander as more talk of the apparently flawless Lilli filled the parlour. Fanning himself half-heartedly with his hand, Arthur wished Yao would reappear and give them something to do, or that a carriage would come rolling into the courtyard and they could be done with all this intolerable waiting.
Gilbert was done with waiting as well, crossing and uncrossing his legs in boredom as the conversation died down. "Do you still have that chess set, Alfred?"
"Yeah."
"Go fetch it. Let's see if you've gotten any better at strategy."
As Alfred departed to retrieve the set, Gilbert moved to sit next to Arthur on the sofa. He lolled his head dramatically to the side and batted his eyes coyly for a while, a nasty smirk on his face.
"What do you want, Gilbert?" It was obvious that the Joker had no desire to play chess, but had wanted Alfred out of the room. Arthur knew that couldn't bode well for him; as much as he like Gilbert, he was still wary of his manic disposition.
"How are you feeling about the Council?"
Arthur tried to maintain a neutral expression as he determined what it was Gilbert was actually asking, but he faltered and looked away. "Terrified."
"I figured as much. Well, can I offer some advice?"
"Please."
"First off, stay away from Francis. I'm serious. He's going to try to butter you up, but you'll only wind up offended and I don't think you want to start off your reign as Queen with a scandal."
"What do you mean? I thought he was your friend?"
"He is, and that's why I know better. Francis is a passionate bastard, and he goes after what he wants. You're his type, so unless you're prepared to engage in a messy affair with another House leader, be polite, but stay away."
Arthur balked and swallowed thickly. "And what is his type, exactly?"
"Breathing." Gilbert let out a shrill laugh, but shook his head seriously. "Different. His type is different, and you'll present enough of a challenge that he'll be dead set on having you."
"He sounds awful."
"He's not, you just have to tell him no or he'll pester you until you give in and then you'll hate yourself."
Arthur pursed his lips and glanced at Gilbert. "This wouldn't be speaking from personal experience, would it?"
Gilbet just grinned and changed the subject. "Now, Queens: Lilli is easy enough to get along with. She's a little sheltered and childish, but she's a sweet girl and I think you'll like her. Just don't piss off Vash, and you've got yourself a good ally. Elizaveta is-"
"A bitch?" Arthur offered dryly.
"Yeah. Well, no, that's just to me. Ruthless is the word I would use. She's beautiful, but she grew up a fighter and she's not above using tricks to get her way. And she always gets her way, believe me. You won't have to work hard to get in her good graces; just make sure you stay there. If she decides not to like you, for whatever reason, it will be an uphill battle trying to win her over again."
Arthur nodded, imagining that any woman willing to put up with Roderich, the Jack of Clubs, as a romantic partner would have to be just as smart and meticulous as the music tutor himself. "And the Queen of Hearts?"
"Ah. He's the odd duck. I've known Kiku for going on ten years now and I still don't have a damn clue what he's thinking half the time. I wouldn't worry too much about that, though. Just be respectful and don't pry too much into his personal life and he'll at least treat you in kind. He's the quintessential diplomat in that whatever agreement you may come to, you'll have no idea who's coming away with the better deal. He could screw you over and make it feel like a favour. But he's too polite for that. Just keep it professional and you'll have no problems."
Overwhelmed by the barrage of information, Arthur took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay. What about the Kings?"
Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Pffft. Don't worry about them. Francis is Francis, like I said, and Ludwig will love you because I do. You're a hard worker; that's all that will matter to him. Ivan is just a big teddy bear once you get past the creepy exterior. He grew up in a weird family, so you can't blame him if he's a little socially stunted. Just don't piss him off, because I've seen him do some major damage. And don't let him challenge you to a drinking match. You will wind up broke, and probably with a deadly case of alcohol poisoning. Of course, you already have the King of Spades eating out of your hand, so nothing else really matters, does it?"
Arthur squirmed and shook his head. "I do not. Alfred is just a friendly child."
"No, Alfred is a horny young adult. Don't get all flustered about it, it's true. You're the same, even if you keep it locked down behind that bookish little facade of yours. And he does like you, more than you care to realize, I think."
"I don't want to talk about this."
"Tough. I like watching you sweat, and I'd like to see you happy for a change." Gilbert was smirking, but his tone of voice was so sincere that Arthur did a double take and sunk down into his shoulders a little in sudden shyness. He was just about to ask Gilbert if he honestly did think Alfred cared for him more than in the bounds of friendship when the pest himself came ricocheting through the door, clutching the chess set to his chest and obviously out of breath.
"It took you long enough, boy, now set up a match! I'm feeling lucky!"
Alfred shook his head back and forth so rapidly that Arthur thought he might make himself dizzy. With eyes wide and sparkling with a mixture of fear and excitement, Alfred's face erupted into his signature smile.
"There's no time! They're here!"
A/N: Cue dramatic music! Sorry for the late and lame chapter. Things are going to get interesting, I promise.
I also just want to say thank you for all the amazing support I've gotten, both on here and on tumblr. I seriously don't deserve it, but I love you all for it.