A/N Okay every I'm back and not giving up on our couple. Here is the next chapter please don't hate me for this. It's called "One step forward two steps back" and trust me it will be worth it. I just needed to get this part out for the both of them. Also this way shorter then my usual but only because the next part didn't fit into this chapter so I am working on that one now. Thanks for reading. xoxoxo

Clarke stood looking at one of her paintings on the wall. She was rolling the champagne glass in her glass thinking about everything that had happened in the night. Her gallery opening was a success she had sold every piece and easily raised enough money for both charities. She knew her interviews were going to spike due to the mention of a new line she was painting and when they would get a sneak peek at it. The biggest thing of all though she knew the world would be seeing the kiss. They would be seeing her state she has someone special and then Lexa pulling her into a kiss in front of everyone which by now would be in front of the world. She should be happy she was happy this is everything she wanted now if she could just let go. Spinning her glass again she downed the rest of it.

Ring Ring

Clarke looked down seeing her phone ring for probably the 15th time. She knew it was reporters or someone looking for an interview. She was questioning how much she wanted this to be out. If she did it right. How she let love be a weakness for herself once again.

"Love" Clarke whispered it to herself. She went from falling to love so quickly with Lexa she wasn't even sure how to catch up. It had all happened so quick and in just one night.

"Are you okay?" Octavia walked up behind her best friend who had been silent since everyone had left.

"Umm yeah why wouldn't I be?" Clarke smiled at Octavia knowing she had one thing on her mind but she didn't want to admit it to anyone.

"I know that look Clarke don't lie to me." Octavia stepped up putting herself in Clarke's personal space.

"You know what I am thinking then." Clarke raised her voice hating that her mind went straight to her past. Straight to the fact that now she had made it known. It was set in stone it was just another chance of her getting hurt. Not only was it real in her heart but the world got to see the truth. They get to know and see the love in her eyes looking at Lexa and if it goes bad it was going to be the next big thing and that's the last thing she wanted for herself again and her career.

Ring Ring

Clarke looked down at her phone shaking her head.

"STOP." Octavia yelled at Clarke grabbing her phone from her seeing her snap out of her own thoughts in shock.

"Octavia." Clarke tried but she was silenced by her best friends hand.

"Listen to me right now Clarke. I saw that smile on your face tonight. I watched your eyes light up seeing her and I watched the world around you disappear as she stepped into your view. The other thing I saw was that she is head over heels in love with you. She's been through hell and back just like you and yet she opened up. Now it's your turn Clarke. Let her in and let yourself be happy." Octavia grabbed her best friends hands tugging on her some to bring her into a hug.

"I love you O." Clarke leaned on her best friend knowing she was right. She needed to just finally trust her heart again but would it be that easy.

"She's still here you know." Octavia whispered feeling Clarke pull back.

"What?" Clarke thought Lexa had left earlier with Raven because she had to stick around and sign off on things along with personal goodbyes.

"She dropped Raven off and then came back and has been waiting for you." Octavia watched the shock on her best friends face and couldn't help but laugh.

"Where?" Clarke looked around knowing her gallery was empty.

"Outside on her truck." Octavia pointed to the door.

"Lock up for me?" Clarke headed towards the door.

"One thing Clarke." Octavia waited for her best friend to turn around.

"What?" Clarke seen the brunettes stern look.

"Trust her Clarke." Octavia knew deep down Lexa was the best thing that had ever happened to her best friend.

Lexa had dropped off a very tipsy Raven thankfully getting her out of the gallery without trying to take someone like Octavia home. She had asked Clarke to be her girlfriend and the blonde said yes. It had been an even better night than she expected. It was also not what she expected. She had felt every button tested in her life that probably would have blown up in her past and yet she was able to control herself and the situation. Clarke had changed that in her. Driving back she decided to grab coffee and a single rose. She knew it was slightly cliche but she wanted to give something to Clarke for her success and she wouldn't deny not wanting to go home alone tonight. She wanted to be with Clarke she wanted to wake up with Clarke and kiss the blonde anytime she wanted.

Clarke had been standing in the doorway for a few minutes watching the brunette looking up at the sky spinning a rose between her fingers. She could see the smile in Lexa's eyes as she was thinking and it made Clarke wish she had her sketch pad with her.

"Lexa."Clarke finally spoke up stepping out into the cold.

"Oh hi." Lexa fumbled slightly having Clarke catch her off guard sliding off her truck.

"You came back?" Clarke said it with a small smile on her lips. It was weird but wasn't weird like they were together but both of them were acting shy.

"I wanted to give you a proper goodnight." Lexa smiled handing Clarke the rose watching the blonde take it and step closer to her.

"You could have come inside." Clarke smelled the rose naturally staring into Lexa's green eyes.

"You were busy and I didn't want to interrupt." Lexa shrugged her shoulders. She knew Clarke had said yes but this was still going to be a transition for both of them. Clarke opening up even more and Lexa stepping into the spotlight.

"I'm happy you came back." Clarke really was she reached down grabbing the brunettes hand squeezing it.

"So this..us.. it's real." Lexa had to ask she knew Clarke's feelings but with it being in front of everyone she wanted to make sure they were on the same page.

"Is it?" Clarke knew Lexa had no idea about the media side of her life. Tonight was just a small taste of it.

"Do you want it to be?" Lexa could hear the hesitation in the blondes voice all of a sudden.

"Lexa." Clarke stopped she knew she was being childish that her heart was trying to build that wall really quick on her.

"Please tell me you didn't just yes to me for the publicity in there because I'm serious Clarke. I want this with you and if you don't want it and were not on the same page please tell me. I don't want to be a game that gets played." Lexa felt her heart sinking as she dropped Clarke's hand.

"That's not it." Clarke felt Lexa starting to pull back just like she had in the gallery earlier in the night.

"Then what is it Clarke?" Lexa wasn't understanding.

"I just need." Clarke heard the brunette laugh cutting her off before taking a few steps back from her.

"Time right...of course after riding the high in there letting yourself be happy you're now coming back down to the real world." Lexa shook her head in disbelief on how quickly Clarke was shutting her out all of a sudden.

"No." Clarke knew she was fucking this up really quick. This was not want she wanted at all.

"Take all the time you need Clarke." Lexa pulled her keys out of her pocket heading towards her truck door. Ripping the door open she got in started the engine everything inside of her told her to take off and just drive away but she couldn't. Looking in her mirror she could see Clarke standing on the side of the street with her hands covering her face. Shutting off the engine she got back out of the truck. Putting her hands on the side of it she took a deep breath watching Clarke let her hands drop a little she let blue meet green.

"I'm not him Clarke." Lexa felt her voice almost be desperate to make the blonde understand.

"I know." Clarke barely got it out.

"I'm not going to get in this truck and drive away from you. I'm not going to leave you standing on the side of this street wondering why. I know what you are doing. I'm not here to break your heart and walk away. I'm here because I want you." Lexa watched Clarke start to walk towards her.

"I know Lexa. I want you and I want this and I'm sorry. Tonight was amazing and I know I am ruining it. I really do need time but not time away from you. I need you to give me time to explain why I am like this. I need you to understand why I do the things I do. Can you give me that time?" Clarke was praying that Lexa said yes. She really needed to sit the brunette down and just tell her what Finn did and what the whole story was.

"If that is what you need then yes. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere as long as you want me." Lexa reached out pulling Clarke in close feeling her start to cry.

"Do you still want to be my girlfriend." Clarke mumbled it into Lexa neck between crying only to hear the brunette laugh.

"Yes Clarke I still want to be your girlfriend. Actually it would be my honor to call you my girlfriend. I'd be the luckiest woman in the world." Lexa pulled Clarke in tighter knowing she had broke down and cried in Clarke's arms before and now she was going to let the blonde do the same.

"Good because I wasn't about to just let you go." Clarke felt her heart rate pick up as Lexa slid her hands up and down her back.

"Really now?" Lexa smirked hearing what Clarke said.

"I can't exactly run after a truck in these heels but I could have tried." Clarke felt the brunette laugh it made her heart warm.

"So did we just turn amazing into ground zero and working our way back up again." Lexa couldn't believe how fast things when from 100 to 0 between them.

"Yeah I guess that is what you call a relationship right as long as we get back to the 100." Clarke pulled back leaning up letting her lips brush over Lexa's. She felt herself sigh knowing the brunette didn't just walk away.

Lexa held on tight she didn't want to let Clarke go and it seemed like right after saying yes they went through their first fight and she knew then next couple of weeks were going to be hard but they could do it together.

"Come on let's get you home." Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand feeling her not budge.

"Are you going to stay with me?" Clarke watched Lexa smile.

"Yes and then how about we have that talk." Lexa figured they needed to start this off and level ground.

"Okay." Clarke took a deep breath knowing what was about to come.

Lexa stepped into Clarke's loft with the blonde in hand. She knew both of them were exhausted but getting this past them is what was going to help them both. Lexa wanted to know what this guy Finn could have done to Clarke to make her so closed off and destroyed when it came to trusting someone again.

"Let's change." Clarke dropped the brunettes hand heading to her bedroom.

"Let me help you with that." Lexa reached up and started to unlace Clarke's dress why they both kept to silence. She wasn't going to push Clarke but she knew the blonde was going to start talking soon.

Clarke switched into sweats and a tank top. She watched Lexa undo her suit jacket losen her shirt pulling it off she was just standing in her suit pants and a tank top. Clarke looked her up and down loving the view and wishing she could do something out first but she knew that wasn't the important part right now.

"Whiskey?" Clarke asked stepping up pulling the bottle from her top shelf. She knew if she was going to spit all this out she was going to need a stiff drink with it.

"Um no thank you." Lexa refused to drink anything hard and Clarke realized what she had asked and just nodded with an apology.

"Dalmore? That's an expensive taste." Lexa picked up the bottle looking at it knowing it was aged well.

"Expensive gift." Clarke sipped heading towards her couch that was still pushed into the middle of the living room area.

"Impressive." Lexa sat across from Clarke giving her some space.

"Okay mmm here we go Finn." Clarke hated the taste of his name.

"Take your time." Lexa didn't want to push.

"We were highschool sweethearts. I fell for him quickly I thought everything about him was perfect. He was this cute boy with long floppy hair and a perfect smile. Everything was great or so I thought. I didn't realize at the time he had some control issues. Octavia had warned me a little seeing the way he acted but I was blind to it." Clarke stopped taking another drink.

"We graduated and decided it was a perfect time to move in with each other. Most of his stuff stayed a lot of mine went. I didn't see it being a problem. I started to pick up in the art world a little. Getting my stuff around the college campus. I started getting busy painting and sketching more. I wanted the world to see me." Clarke watched Lexa smile at her reaching out to grab her hand.

"He started to not like the attention I was getting. He didn't like that I was spending more time in my studio then next to him. I started attending gallery shows and openings. I wanted to meet people show them my work put a face to the name. I finally got noticed it took one painting and the right person and I was flying high. The problem was it took all of my attention and Finn started to complain. He said I wasn't being a good girlfriend. I wasn't by his side anymore and all I wanted to do was paint." Clarke took a long drawl on her drink knowing that hard part was coming up.

"We stopped holding hands when we went out. We stopped kissing and eventually we stopped having sex all together. I guess I never noticed the signs but Octavia started to smack the smarts in me seeing Finn coming home smelling like another woman. Having him come home marked up and showing it off for me to see. I just kept painting and closed my eyes too it. Once he realized I was ignoring it the best that I could he started making sure it would show up in the tabloids and then the questions started coming in with small interviews I had." Clarke looked over at Lexa she could see her jaw clenched but she was still silent.

"Then he lost his temper with me and decided it was best that he just tell me everything. He would come home and tell me about Jessica or Rachel and how they were such better fucks than me. How they did so many things better than me. How I wasn't sexual enough and I never gave him the attention a real man needed. Once again I just kept painting I tried my hardest not to cry and just told myself that it would be okay he would see that I was just working and we were going to make it together." Clarke shook her head thinking about how stupid it sounded now.

"Finally the last straw was me being out at my first high end gallery opening with Octavia and somehow he ended up with tickets to the event and showed up with some tall brunette. He shoved it in my face kissing her being grabby and hands on. I had to stop Octavia from killing him in the middle of the show because I was there for my name being known and not him. By the time the night ended we were fighting and he had his hands ended up bruising me pretty bad before telling me I was worthless and I would never be worth anything and that he was kicking me out on my ass and no one would ever want me again." Clarke closed her eyes feeling the tears start to fall before she felt Lexa strong arms wrap around her.

"Clarke you are worth ten times more than that man. Look at what you have made of yourself without him. He is a nobody and you are stunning and so talented." Lexa tried her hardest to stay calm for the blonde. She couldn't believe Clarke had went through that and in her past she would hunt the asshole down and make him pay for it.

"He wrote me a letter reminding me of all the bad I was along with telling me he hoped he shattered my trust in the world because I'd always be tainted." Clarke remember she still had it she never tossed it because part of it was her motivation and another part of it was a reminder on never trusting again.

"Listen to me Clarke. You are a talented amazing woman. Anyone who meets you can see that. I wasn't looking for love and then you walked into my life and look at where I am now. I am a whole new person because of who you are." Lexa turned Clarke making sure she was looking into her eyes.

"Thank you." Clarke crawled into Lexa's lap feeling her tug on her as she leaned back. She snuggled in feeling the warmth of the bruette wrap around her trying not to make it show about Lexa using the word love.

"You don't have to explain anymore it's okay now." Lexa didn't want to have to make Clarke live through it anymore. She now understood why the blonde was so damaged when it came to trust in relationships. Now it was her turn to show Clarke how much she is really worth and how to forget that stupid Finn guy.

Clarke laid in Lexa's arms for hours she couldn't sleep but she eventually felt the brunettes breathing even out and she had fallen asleep wrapped around her. Clarke creeped out of Lexa's arms very quietly. She didn't want to leave her alone but she had some things on her mind she needed to get out. Grabbing a blanket she covered the brunette up dropping a small kiss on her lips before she headed over to the elevator to go up into her studio. She hadn't been lying about working on a new set of work. She had been sketching Lexa from each angle possible defining the beauty in her and the set angles along with her tattoo. She had been putting the woman on canvas in every way possible. She knew it might be breaking privacy but it was important to her that the brunette could see herself in Clarke's eyes and that was her way of showing it. Grabbing a new canvas she started to outline the brunette in her suit tonight. She had been fading out her face and distinct features but leaving just enough so show her natural beauty. Each one had shown the elements of their relationship. The first smile, the first kiss, the first time they had sex and following with the first time they slowed down and actually explored each other. She had shown Lexa in every aspect of her mind. She had several views and outlines of her tattoo. Letting one spiral around the canvas and another one trace her back. She made sure to show her small military past in the paintings. She had most of them finished because the brunette had added so much to her life. This set of paintings was going to be overly personal and with approval she wanted to show them as a personal collection for everyone to see. It showed the new happiness in her life and the light that shines through taking over her darkness.

"A dark moment turned light." Clarke whispered it to herself as she sketched out tonight on canvas. She wanted to show the brunettes strong arms around her and the tears turning to sunshine. The brunette seemed to be able to make her stronger. The strength is what she wanted to show in the painting. Closer to the bottom of the painting she let the painting fade down into them holding hands knowing that some of things she said tonight wouldn't have came out if it wasn't for Lexa getting back out of her truck and giving her a chance. She could have blown up the best thing that has to her in a matter of maybe an hour after she got it.

"You left me?" Clarke turned around seeing Lexa standing with tossed hair and her blouse unbutton even farther and the blanket wrapped around her. She was absolutely gorgeous and she bet the brunette didn't even see it.

"I had some things I needed to get off my mind." Clarke took a sheet throwing it over the canvas before walking over to her.

"Was that us?" Lexa had spotted certain areas of the painting that Clarke's body wasn't covering.

"Yes but it's not finished." Clarke tugged at the blanket bringing the brunette closer to her.

"You've been busy." Lexa looked around seeing several paintings lined up with sheets over them and some already wrapped on the ground.

"I wasn't lying when I said I was working on something new, something more personal." Clarke felt Lexa wrap her arms around her just like she had just painted.

"Can I see one of the finished ones." Lexa knew Clarke had a thing about showing unfinished work.

"MmMm but soon enough you will get to see them all." Clarke shook her head not wanting to give anything anyway.

"Fair enough." Lexa let go of the blonde watching her walk over to her stereo area and pulled out her phone hitting play on a song.

"What are you doing?" Lexa stood there a little confused.

"Dance with me and listen." Clarke held out her hand seeing Lexa reach out and trust her and she hoped this proved she was going to try as well.

Clarke wrapped herself around Lexa as they slowly danced to the faster beat knowing both of them could feel the rhythm set between them she started to listen. She could feel Lexa feel the words as she whispered them slowly to her.

"I want you for so long; Tell me is it so wrong; Even if we fall in love, fall in love" Lexa knew she was whispering direct parts to her knowing she understand that she was all in. Listening she knew that certain parts of the song were her side and the other parts were Clarke's side. The mix of the song fit them both and she could see why Clarke played it.

"When you hold on to me; When you let me in; You better know that I got you" Clarke knew this was the part she wanted Lexa to hear. It was the part that Clarke wanted Lexa to know that when she held onto her and let her know that she knew it meant Lexa had her and she wasn't letting go.

"Hey." Lexa spoke seeing Clarke pull her head back looking at her with emotions flooding her face. She leaned in and kissed the blonde soft but with enough meaning that Clarke would know she understood.

Clarke felt Lexa pull back just letting them look at each other. Clarke wanted to let the words fall out of her mouth. She knew it would be easy but she couldn't speak. The way Lexa was looking at her it was like she already knew. Clarke let herself be pulled back in as they kept dancing even after the music ended. She let Lexa lead her over to the couch in her studio as they wrapped up in each other Clarke felt the weight finally lift off her shoulders and she was able to sleep.

Lexa felt Clarke finally start to relax into her. She knew the blonde was exhausted they had a day of excitement and everything else you could possibly imagine. Slowly running her fingers up and down the blondes back feeling her curl down into her harder she felt Clarke's breath even out finally willing herself to sleep.

"I love you too Clarke." Lexa whispered it knowing exactly what Clarke was trying to say with the song. She knew it was a big step for the blonde and saying it might have been harder than just letting her listen to the song. Tucking her head down next to Clarke feeling the blonde breath on her neck she let herself fade into sleep.

Clarke woke up stretching realizing she was still on the couch and Lexa was gone. It scared her slightly after everything that happened last night that the brunette was nowhere to be found. Standing up she looked around for a note but nothing sitting back down on the couch she covered her face trying not to cry she should have known better than to drop so much at once. She stepped out of her gallery last night looking for a fight and she got one along with love and then Lexa obviously couldn't handle the push and pull she kept giving her. She left without even leaving a note. Standing up she grabbed her phone and nothing no text or voicemail.

"Fuck Clarke." Clarke cursed herself loudly not even being able to believe what she had done. Leaning against the table she punched it hating herself for blowing up last night and then hoping to make it better so that Lexa knew she loved her and she was all in. Why couldn't she have just said it why did she have to hold back so much.

"Trust her." Clarke whispered to herself thinking of how many times she had been told that and she just realized she failed at showing it and lost the best thing in her life and this time it was her fault.

Ding Ding…

A/N Okay so who is in the elevator? Octavia, Raven or Lexa.

Music Credit - Fall in Love by Barcelona