Author's Note:

Hello everyone and welcome to chapter ten. As I said last chapter this one focuses on Astrid and has a fair bit of Ruffnut in it as well. Thank you for your continued support of this story and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

I own nothing.

Harshness of Hindsight

THUNK!

The axe embedded itself solidly dead in the centre of the target after Astrid threw it hard and she strode over and yanked it back out of the wood. Returning back a certain distance she sharply spun and lobbed it at yet another target scoring another perfect hit before repeating the motions again. She'd been in the arena ever since her confrontation with Hiccup and she hadn't even noticed Fishlegs arrive and leave again due to being so absorbed in her training and thoughts.

She didn't understand why Hiccup had gotten so angry earlier and why he suddenly seemed to hate her. He'd never spoken so harshly to anyone before and his jab at her Thawfest victory by calling it her 'self-glorifying celebration' had really struck hard, she didn't care about the glory of the win it was just time for someone other than a Jorgenson to win for once. Her father had said so himself after the Dragon Events had been announced and her mother had said how wonderful it would be if Astrid would be the first Hofferson to actually win, she fought hard and fair to claim victory and she thought Hiccup of all people would have congratulated her for her achievement. Instead of being congratulatory Hiccup had actually been insulted it and had even got Toothless to chase her away when she went to confront him about it, he'd happily joined in with the celebrations at first but suddenly he disappeared and didn't want to even speak to any of them.

She started a series of practice swings and parries as her thoughts moved on to that morning.

She'd admit that when she'd gone to find Hiccup she was still angry about the previous evening but she'd been willing to find out why he was acting the way he was. Then something in his voice had challenged her and she'd responded, maybe emphasising the fact he was a hiccup wasn't the best move but it surely didn't warrant the hate-filled response she'd got. She'd been one of the first on his side after she discovered Toothless and even before that she hadn't actively bullied him unlike some of the others, on top of that she'd been the one who'd convinced most of the others to join him in the fight against the Red Death and had continued to help him when he was placed in charge of the Academy. Now though it was like her victory at Thawfest made all of that moot and caused Hiccup to turn on her.

As she fanned her anger her axe swings became more and more violent and she swung, parried and hacked all around the arena until an unexpected voice interrupted her,

"Wow, are you gonna spend all day in a rage?"

She spun sharply and saw Ruffnut leaning against the arena entrance watching her. Oddly enough Tuffnut was nowhere to be seen but Astrid didn't really care at that moment, "What do you want?"

The other girl shrugged, "I was thinking about telling you that Hiccup's rant at you might not have been as unwarranted as you think."

Astrid turned her back on her, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Ruffnut sighed, "Fishlegs saw and heard that happened in the Cove and he told me and Tuff so we know what Hiccup said." She straightened up and stepped into the arena, "And, as always, he's got a point. So maybe if you actually stop convincing yourself you're the injured party you might actually see that for yourself."

Astrid looked back sharply, "I won Thawfest fair and square so I don't see why Hiccup has any reason to be angry at me for it."

Ruffnut threw up her hands in exasperation, "You still think this is all about Thawfest?" She stared at Astrid in disbelief, "And I thought I was stupid, this has got like nothing to do with Thawfest. It's more like everything before Thawfest." Astrid looked confused and Ruffnut explained exasperatedly, "It's to do with us mistreating both Hiccup and Snotlout. They've both finally had enough and are letting you know it, that's why Hiccup's so mad at you."

"If that's the case what about you and Tuffnut," Astrid demanded, "you were the ones that actively bullied them so why hasn't Hiccup exploded at you yet when I was the first one to trust him when it came to dragons and I've supported him ever since the Academy started."

"C'mon Astrid," Ruffnut countered, "I know you're not as blind and selfish as this, stop focusing on yourself and see things properly. You've supported Hiccup for a couple of months whereas we've all been treating them like dirt for ten years. I'm stupid and even I can see that a few months is nowhere near as long as a decade and we're all idiots because we all convinced ourselves that it was happily forgotten and Hiccup wouldn't actually mind us continuing to mistreat about the only person who stayed on his side. Why do you think Tuffnut's not here? He's trying to think of the best way to apologise to them both for everything we've done to them!"

Astrid wanted to retort but Ruffnut's words had struck home and she suddenly saw Hiccup's words as something more than an unwarranted rant. She could now see the years of frustration and hurt behind them and she looked back over her recent actions and saw that she'd blinded herself to how she was actually acting. As she looked further back she felt guilt at her claims of being the first to trust Hiccup and Toothless, yes she had been but she'd still treated the Night Fury as an enemy at first and if Hiccup hadn't followed her and taken her on that flight then she probably would've turned both boy and dragon over to the village without a second thought. Even before that she wasn't much better than the others, while she didn't actively bully the two cousins she didn't defend them either, in fact the only time she ever took note of either of them was when they somehow beat her at something and other than that she couldn't care less what happened to them.

The more she thought about it the more she saw what she was responsible for and she couldn't believe that she'd blinded herself so much. Was she really that self-absorbed that she didn't care about what had happened for the last decade, had she really convinced herself that it was all forgiven with no word of apology and that Snotlout didn't count in the new Berk Hiccup had started to create. Memories of before the Red Death came back and she remembered comforting Snotlout after he and Hiccup had been disowned, had she only done that purely to force him to get up and to join the others in Hiccup's plan, did she really think that Snotlout would've refused to help his cousin if she'd just told him Hiccup needed help? The answer was that Snotlout would've never abandoned his cousin with or without Astrid's assistance, he was loyal to the end and Hiccup returned that loyalty wholeheartedly. Maybe that was why she was so determined to beat him this year, though they'd been hanging out together a lot more none of the other teens were close to having the brotherly relationship Snotlout and Hiccup shared and maybe she'd seen that as Snotlout somehow making himself seem superior than the others and she wanted to put him in what she conceived as his place. It was the completely wrong way of thinking and the brutal hindsight Ruffnut had made her see showed Astrid how judgemental and blind she'd been.

As all this ran through her mind Ruffnut had remained standing where she was watching her and Astrid was glad the other girl had done what she did. Ruffnut knew that the best way to get Astrid thinking properly when she was mad was to aggressively debate with her and while lacking in the intellect department the female twin could give incredible insight into a social situation, even if it was in a harsh and brutal manner. More than once Astrid had been verbally slapped by her and she was grateful that Ruffnut continued to do so.

Looking back at the other girl Astrid gave a thankful smile, "Thanks Ruffnut."

She smiled back, "Anytime," she finished softly, "It's not like me and Tuff are any better, in some ways you could say we were the worst."

"It doesn't change what the rest of us did." Astrid replied, "It's probably going to take a lot to fix this."

Ruffnut finished solemnly, "A lot indeed."

PS- So Astrid gets a verbal slap and see's things differently. I hope this gives good reasons for how she's been acting and I'll try and update soon.