Guys! I've realised I missed out the Moscow Mule ep! Gah! I might write it up and shuffle the chapters around oooor because there's only two Alex bits in that episode I might just chuck them in a future ep. Face it, we only wanna see Alex spit crackers at Nicky. We'll see how it goes and whether or not I can create an entire episode solo. If I do I'll have to post an author's note or something so you can go back and read it. It'll be like chapter 7 (?) or something. Anyways back to this update! I've made it super long because I've got a crap ton of cover shifts at work for a while and honestly I'm probably not going to update 'til after I've binged season 3 at least four times. Y'know how it is. This ep will be cut into three chapters too because there were quite a few Alex scenes and I don't wanna skip any. So bear with me yeah. The song today is Eden by Hozier. I'm gonna shut up now and go back to stalking Season 3 sneak peeks on YouTube (ahh only 2 days left!) Enjoy! :)
"Vause!"
I turned my head out of my daydream and smiled slightly at Fischer as she walked over to me. She had her arms full of case files and a bag was slipping down her arm with every step she took towards me. She looked pretty out of breath trying to balance it all in her arms. But she had a bright smile on her face, her innocent blue eyes were sparkling happily. You could forget you were in prison seeing somebody that happy. But then she had a reason to be. She wasn't stuck here twenty-four-seven.
Fisher stopped in front of me and eyed my casual lean against the B dorm wall. I straightened up a little and tried to make out like I wasn't waiting for somebody.
"You're sort of out of bounds, you know?" She told me crossing her arms awkwardly. She had a coffee cup in one hand that spilt a little on her shirt when she forgot and tried tucking it under her arm. She looked down at the stain and swore under her breath.
I smiled at her, "But you're not going to rat on me. Are you, Fischer?"
She blushed a little when I smirked and I chuckled under my breath before I took a step forward with my hands outstretched to help her. She smiled gratefully and dumped some of the files into my hands. I looked down at them, intrigued by the label on the the top file saying it contained phone call history.
"You're snooping on our calls now?" I asked her tapping the file. Fischer shuffled nervous and slipped it out of my hands.
"It's protocol" she said steely, "New security measure"
I nodded even though we both knew I wasn't buying it,
"Sure..."
"You're not waiting for somebody are you?" She asked nodding at the dorm and taking a sip of her coffee. I watched her swallow and felt a pang of jealousy hit me hard. God I missed coffee.
I shook my head in answer to the question. I had been waiting for piper but I didn't want the guards knowing. They spread rumours quicker than the inmates. She smiled in relief and asked if I'd help her carry her stuff to the staff office, seeing as I wasn't busy. I wanted to say no. Piper would be expecting me. But that little smile of hers really got me. And I wasn't really busy.
So I nodded"Sure"
"Thanks" she balanced the cup on top of the remaining files in her hand and hiked her bag back up onto her shoulder.
I followed her when she started to walk away, with a quick look over my shoulder in case piper came out and saw me. At least if she did she'd know why I didn't turn up.
"So how was your weekend?" Fischer asked politely. I laughed and she turned to me all confused
"Sorry," I told her sliding my glasses back up my nose, "It's been a while since somebody asked how my weekend went"
She smiled nervously and nodded dumbly to herself "I get it, people don't ask that in prison"
"No, they really don't" We walked on in quiet and I sighed, "I guess it was okay. I could have gone without the random raid and my lawyer calling in. But, yeah, another standard weekend in prison"
I didn't tell her about the day I'd spent in the yard with piper, talking and reminiscing. Or the afternoon I'd had reading in her bunk. Or the food fight she'd helped me win against Nicky in the electric shed. Why share those precious moments with anyone but piper?
Fischer nodded and gave me a sympathetic smile, "if it makes you feel any better my weekend wasn't all that either"
"Boyfriend troubles?" I asked. She smiled back at me
"Hey, how'd you know?"
"Just a feeling. For what's it's worth, he's an ass"
"You can't say that when you don't know him" she told me strongly with what she probably thought was a mean look. I just chuckled. It was hard not to. She couldn't do mean at all. She was just gentle for that.
"If he's a dick to you, he's an ass" I stated simply.
She looked down at the floor. "He did sort of yell for no reason.." She mumbled in agreement and I could tell being with this guy was something she questioned herself for a lot.
I bumped her arm and smiled at her "My advice?" She nodded and stared at me with her complete attention, "Leave him. You are far too nice and far too beautiful to be wasted on a man that won't treat you like royalty"
Fischer frowned at me. Her lips pursed into a thin line. She looked kind of confused. "Are you hitting on me?" She quietly asked.
I struggled not to laugh and shook my head at her
"No" I chuckled, "I'm just being friendly. Unless it's working.."
She blinked in shock and I chuckled again before I bumped her arm with a joking smile. She realised it was a joke and laughed with me while we started walking again.
We passed the meds line, a few of the girls giving us looks. I glared them down when they started making loud jokes about Fischer. But she didn't seem to notice. She was in her own cloud walking along greeting some of the inmates like friends. And for the most part they genuinely smiled back. I watched her interact with them. Watched her socialise happily. I couldn't figure her out. Honestly, I had no fucking clue why she was here. She'd be far better suited in a carers position.
"You know I swear I've seen you before" she told me in a thoughtful voice that broke my studying of her. I looked back surprised. I thought it'd just been me.
"Yeah? Maybe you have"
"It's kind of irritating me not knowing" she shared scowling. I chuckled
"How old are you?" I asked peering at her curiously.
"Twenty-eight"
"Hmm.." That explained the bambi attitude. It also meant if I'd known her it wasn't from work. She'd have only been a kid. I felt a flicker of frustration.
"Did you ever live in New York?" Was my follow up. She nodded earnestly,
"I'm a Brooklyn girl"
I smiled at her, "Same here! Maybe I passed you in the street a few times"
"Maybe.." She was staring at me trying to figure out where exactly she knew me from. And from the looks of it it annoyed her as much as it did me. I hid our shared frustration and just smiled at her, nodding at the door we'd stopped at.
"This is you" I said handing her her files and opening the door for her.
She smiled and checked inside the room before she stepped closer. Like really close. Her skin brushed mine and when I inhaled I could smell the innocent perfume she was wearing. I don't know why but it reminded me of home.
"Here," she reached out and handed me her cup, "Have a nice day, Alex"
"Thanks?" Did she just give me her trash? I looked down at it in my hand. Confusingly it was still warm. And heavy.
I pulled the lid off the cup when she turned away and I stared down at it while she walked into the staff room. It was full. She'd barely drank any. And she'd just given it to me?
I felt a strange urge to cry. Nobody had been that kind to me. Not for a long time. And definitely not in here.
I looked up to thank her properly but she'd already vanished. She was all honesty and kindness, and humble enough not to want a thanks. I couldn't help but like Fischer even more.
"Yo, takeaway, you got any muffins hidden away there?"
I glanced up at Nickys strut over and I grinned at the mischief in her eyes. They cut back to the co staff room before reaching mine.
"I didn't get you a number but I did get me some coffee. Actual coffee!" I held the cup out so she could see. Nicky peered down at it with shock on her face
"Damn! Fischer must really like you. All I ever get is that cute little smile" She went for my cup but I pulled my hand out of her reach by raising it above my head. Nicky growled and tried jumping for it, still failing to reach the cup. It had me laughing at her.
"Cmon! Vause! It's prison. We're supposed to share"
"Yeah, right" I scoffed back, "It's my coffee. Go charm your own off Bell" I nodded down the hall at the officer as she walked grumpily into the main prison. Getting a coffee off her came seriously close to swimming with frenzied sharks. Nicky snorted beside me and shook her head
"No fucking thanks" I chuckled and took a fresh sip of fischer's coffee. And man was it good. You forget how great things taste when you're stuck eating the same shit everyday. This coffee could have come from a shitty street vendor by fishers apartment and it still tasted like heaven to me. I moaned happy and decided to let Nicky try some. I remembered how she said she missed it too.
"Holy shit! That's good!" she moaned swallowing some more. I snatched it back off her before she could drink it all for me. I smiled at her pouting miserably at me
"Maybe we should persuade Fischer to make coffee runs for us" I conspired swallowing some more.
Nicky grinned "Well, I'm in but, you'll have to do all the work. Looks like baby officer has a thing for you especially"
I laughed at the jealously in her voice and shrugged nonchalantly
"I can't help it if everybody loves me" I argued grinning.
Nicky laughed and gently shoved me. We shared a smile and she looked away behind me. I went back to my coffee, looking up suddenly when she tapped my arm
"Hey, speaking of people loving you.." She nodded her head down the hallway.
I looked over my shoulder and smiled at piper as she wandered over to us. Her skin was a little flushed and her hair was damp. She'd just come out of the shower. Maybe that was why she looked happy. Piper always loved being clean.
She stopped close beside me and gave me a warm smile that made her eyes sparkle beautifully. I couldn't help but grin back, or stop the skip in my heart when she touched my hand.
"I thought we were going to hang out before work today?" She asked looking down at the cup in my hand. I passed it to her to ease her curiosity.
"I had a coffee date with Fischer instead" I teased her. Nicky scoffed beside me
"You should have seen her, Chapman. Walking Fischer to the door and carrying her files for her. I'm surprised you didn't give her a kiss goodbye, Vause"
I sniggered with her, "Ah well, it was tempting but she has a boyfriend"
"Like that ever stopped you before" Nicky retorted walking off grinning happily at her trouble stirring. I rolled my eyes after her. Beside me Piper was taking a sip of the coffee.
"Wow, that's good!" she sighed having some more, "Mmm! Gosh, why does coffee always taste so nice when you detox?"
"You call this a detox?" I chuckled, unsurprised she was still into those. She shrugged at me and smiled over the cup
"Not a voluntary one" she replied slowly sipping more. It had me shivering when she moaned happily with closed eyes.
I leant against the wall to watch her and I shook my head when she offered it back to me
"I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier" I told her genuinely, "Fischer was sort of struggling so-"
"You wanted to play fairytale," she avoided my amused smile at her drop in tone and nodded to herself, "I get it. It's okay. Honestly"
I chuckled under my breath, shaking my head at her when she asked what I found so funny. Honestly she was so cute with her jealousy sometimes. It was killing me. Piper leant up against the wall beside me and let out a deep sigh as she tipped her head back and stared up at the ceiling. I found myself staring at her throat. It was just begging to be kissed. I swallowed the impulse to lean over and instead tapped Piper's hand.
"You know I can't shake the feeling I've seen her before.. Outside here, I mean"
"Fischer?" I nodded, "I know what you mean. But maybe she just has one of those faces"
"What faces?" I asked when I heard the venom in her voice. I didn't get why she was suddenly mad. Piper looked back at me coldly and handed me back my coffee
"You know, one of those potential mule faces. You probably know her from that. It's how you know everybody, right"
She started to walk off but I grabbed her wrist
"Hey, don't give me that" She slowly looked back at me. I looked her dead in the eye, "You know you were never like that for me"
"Why? Because I said no after the first go?" I ignored the sarcasm in her voice and shook my head at her
"Because I loved you, Piper" I watched her eyes softened a little, "You were my girlfriend. Not another way to smuggle drug money around"
She turned back to me angry again and gave me a steel like glare, "You know, it doesn't matter how many times you tell yourself that. It's never going to be the truth" She yanked her arm free of my grip and walked away.
I let out a deep breath and told myself to leave her. She'd calm down and come around later. There was no point ruining the morning by arguing over it with her. I followed her to the cafeteria and we stood in dead silence as we waited to get our food. I chewed it over while I finished off my coffee. I wanted to talk to her. Apologise. Even though I had fuck all to apologise for. I just didn't want to stand there awkward with her. Especially not after how good everything with her had been in the last few days.
I reached out for her hand and brushed my finger against the back of it, gently asking if she was still mad. Piper didn't respond. She kept facing forward and ignored me. When I looked up she was staring ahead at the line like nothing had happened. I stood back annoyed and crossed my arms. I hated how stubborn she got.
"Hey, its, uh, Alex, right?"
I looked around and recognised the girl stood nervous beside me. She'd sat beside me during the wac stuff. I nodded at her
"It's Vause, actually" I told her as I turned towards her. I didn't want to seem rude seeing as she was nice and all but at the same time I didn't want everybody in here thinking they could get friendly with me. She nodded in understanding,
"Andrews. Hi again. Erm.," she pointed over her shoulder, "Red sent me. She, uh.." She scratched her neck and gave me a tiny smile, "She wants a word"
"Great.." I looked over her shoulder at the kitchens and met the Russian's unamused look for me. She looked pretty pissed. Fuck knows why though. I'd been staying well under the Red radar. I stared unaffected back at her. Showing her I wasn't scared.
"Tell Red I'm busy" I told andrews shortly. I knew I'd get in shit for refusing to meet with Red but I didn't care. I was done running errands for her.
"For real?" Andrews asked staring at me like I was dumb. I didn't say anything. Just turned back to the front. She called me crazy under her breath and left to tell Red.
I tapped my coffee cup and shuffled up the line with the others, silently wondering what Red wanted with me.
"She's right you know" I looked up when Piper spoke, "You're kind of crazy"
I chuckled back at her,
"But you knew that already"
Piper nodded and I watched a smile flicker across her lips
"Yeah"
I smiled at her and moved to stand beside her in the line. She glanced up at me and when she saw me smiling she broke out into a little grin. I beamed back at her. I was forgiven for now.
"You know she's probably going to cut off your food again, right?" I shrugged at her,
"I wasn't hungry anyway" I looked down at the serving counters as we approached them and I internally groaned. Damn, breakfast looked edible for once.
Piper knocked my arm to get my attention. She nodded at the stack of trays beside me. I grabbed one and teased it in front of her with a playful grin before I let her take it. She batted me with it with a totally fake scowl. I just laughed happily.
"You know what I miss most?" She started. I thought about it for a second
"Not eating off trays?" I asked picking one up for myself. I knew that was something I definitely missed
"No. I miss waking up and just making eggs. Or toasting a bagel. Or something. You know? Just getting up and doing it myself. The routine of it all. I miss that"
Sounds familiar..
I watched her look down at her tray sadly. I nodded at her. I kinda missed that too. I kinda missed watching her do it as well. Memories of it all flashed inside my head as I watched her and I was reminded painfully of sitting in sunny places and tasting breakfast on her lips. I had to take a sharp breath on when it hurt.
Piper didn't notice anything was wrong. She was just as lost in her thoughts as I was. Thoughts about us, or her and her boyfriend, who knew. But it was obvious her question had triggered something emotional inside her. She started twisting the tray in her hands agitated with her thoughts. I reached out and stopped her. I gave her a smile,
"You mean you miss breaking the toaster trying to make breakfast?" I teased. She rolled her eyes away from me despite grinning about it.
"Are you ever going to let that go?" She asked groaning.
"Fuck no! It's a funny story. Besides," I leant down to her ear and lowered my voice to a whisper, "It makes you smile and I like that. So..."
Piper tilted her head round and looked back at me. Her eyes stared openly up at me, flicking across my face in thought. I held her gaze and focused on breathing steady. We were so close it was making me nuts. All I wanted was to reach out and touch her. All I had to do was tilt my head a little and I'd kiss her. I gripped my tray tighter in my hand to keep myself from moving. This was getting even harder. It was unfair.
"Hello liddle lovebirds, how are we today?" A high pitched voice sang beside us.
Piper broke our staring and took a step back to smile at morello. I glanced back at her too and was unsurprised to find Nicky stood right beside the other girl. You couldn't have one without the other. She had that knowing smile going again. Like she'd seen everything that just happened and couldn't wait for more. I hated being her fucking soap opera in here.
"Maybe stop with the lovebird calling, Morello" Piper said quietly avoiding my eyes. She turned back to the front and held her tray out for Norma to fill, "We're just friends"
"Right.." Nicky looped her arm over morello and tapped her hand against her shoulder, "Did that look friendly to you, Morello?" She asked rhetorically. Morello shrugged
"I don't know, it looked a little past friendly. More like.." She looked away pretending to think and Nicky grinned at me before she opened her mouth to finish Morello's sentence
"More like-"
"Hey!" They shut up and looked back at me grinning between themselves, "She said we're just friends. That's all there is" Nickys eyes turned sympathetic. She'd heard the bitterness hiding in my voice. She knew what I was thinking.
The pair held their hands up in surrender and backed away. They whispered something to each other and Nicky quickly jumped forward to steal my coffee before they headed off towards the kitchen together. I let her have it. I didn't care anymore.
I watched them go, annoyed and jealous. Their relationship looked so easy from the outside. It wasn't fair how I couldn't have the same with piper. We were just swings and frigging rollercoasters.
I sighed to myself and told myself to grow up and stop caring. That's how you deal in this place. You shut off emotion and learn to just exist. That was key to survival. I wanted to laugh. That had always been my way out.
Piper was watching me when I turned back to her. I sighed.
"What?" I asked seeing she was confused by something.
She blinked and shook her head "Nothing"
I frowned at her and watched her grab her food and stand off to the side to wait for me. I let out a quiet huff and held my tray out to Norma. She looked back into the kitchen before she tapped gina's arm. I rolled my eyes and held my tray out to the other woman stood between them but she didn't take it.
"Na-uh" Gina took hold of the tray, "You know the rules, Stretch" She pulled the tray out of my hand and held it out to Norm. I laughed, a little disbelieving
"I refuse to talk Russian and suddenly that's an excuse to starve me? Are you kidding me?"
"Move along already" Gina sighed annoyed. Norma took my tray and put it on the counter beside her. Behind them Red was smiling happily. I glared at her.
"You know," Piper leant across me suddenly to talk to the two women and we all looked back at her surprised, "As a wac representative I can probably have you two reassigned. I hear maintenance needs a couple extra hands sorting the garbage.. So.."
I tried to hide my smile. Was Piper actually standing up for me? Standing up for me and making threats? It was hard taking it seriously when she was glaring like that at the other women. Like she thought she looked tough and impressive. Poor Piper.
"You can't do that" Gina told her with a strong look that no way covered the uncertainty in her voice.
Piper moved back slowly and stared blankly back at them. She shrugged but I recognised that dangerous spark in her eyes. She knew she had them.
"Maybe you're right. But is that really something you want to try me on?" The other girls in the line muttered impressed as she walked to a table. I smiled stunned after her. Maybe I was wrong about her. Maybe she was fit for prison after all.
"Hey" I turned back to Gina and was disappointed when my tray remained empty beside Norma, "Get a leash for your bitch. Ain't nobody taking her serious round here. Especially not Red"
"I know. But you gotta let her have her moment..."
I sighed and glanced back at red. She crossed her arms and gave me a waiting look. I scoffed and looked down at the food again
"You know I think I've lost my appetite. Food looks like baby vomit"
I turned my back on Red but I could still feel her anger stabbing knives into my back as I made my way over to Piper's table. I sat down beside Boo and her new puppy so I could be opposite Piper. I patted the retriever's head and smiled at the blonde when she looked back from her conversation with Boo and Yoga and saw me without food. She looked back at the kitchen with a deep frown
"Are they seriously still going to starve you?!" She asked outraged.
I looked back down at the dog and shrugged.
"Looks like democracy isn't a thing here. Sorry Pipes"
She slammed her hand on the table and made to stand up, "I'm gonna talk with Red"
"Hey! Whoa!" I grabbed her hand and pulled her back down, "Don't give her a reason to starve you too. I'll square with Red, don't worry"
Piper stared sadly back at me, "How?" She asked gently touching my hand. I watched her fingers brush mine. They felt soft and kind. I'd missed that.
"I don't know" I admitted lifting my fingers to touch her back. I smiled when she did, "Maybe Red needs another foot rub" I joked drawing circles on her palm.
Piper laughed and looked down. Her hand froze under mine suddenly like she just realised what we were doing. She slowly withdrew her hand and slid it under the table. I took mine back too and crossed my arms on the table with a look around. Everybody looked happy eating away. God I hated them all.
"Here" I looked back at her and tilted my head at her offering me her cornbread
"What's this?" I asked taking it off her. Piper shrugged
"You gave me yours once and-"
"And you threw it in the trash" I cut in. She ignored me.
"And I don't want to sit here and eat while you go hungry. It's not nice"
I laughed and looked down at my fingers tearing the bread apart.
"It's prison. What's nice about it?" I asked sarcastically. I didn't expect her to reply. But she did.
"You"
I blinked and looked up at her. She was watching me with a sincere smile. My heart jumped up into my throat with her compliment. I wondered whether she truly meant it. I recovered from my shock and leant back and tipped my head at her
"Correct" I told her flashing her a little smirk. She kicked me under the table and I laughed before I gently bumped my knee against hers
"Thank you" I told her nodding at the bread. She nodded back at me like it was nothing and I looked down at it with a grin when she shyly looked away.
I nibbled a little on the stale bread and phased in and out of the table conversation. They were talking about trying to persuade Healy to get something in for the inmates. I wasn't paying it much attention. My focus was entirely on Piper. Like always. She contributed happily in their talk with a bright smile when they accepted her ideas weren't so bad. It was cute how she tried to fit in despite knowing she never would.
Piper left the discussion after a while and stared vacantly down at her food with a thoughtful look before she started grinning to herself. I smiled at her
"What?" I asked raising another piece of the bread to my mouth. Piper shrugged and told me it was nothing. So I bumped her knee again
"Tell me"
"I was just thinking about that time in Rio. You know when that really camp busking couple came over and offered to dance on the table for a coffee?"
I shook my head at her,"I don't remember that"
Her smile fell a little and she stared hard at the table,
"Oh" she said, "That must have been just me then.."
I heard the loneliness in her voice and easily matched it with the thousands of times I'd heard it before when i'd left her to explore on her own so I could work. Piper was staring lost inside her thoughts. I knew she was still thinking about it. How could she look so alone about it all this time later? It made no sense to me. She was like elastic. She could easily snap back to herself. It hurt watching her relive those moments.
"Did I hear that right, chapman? Gay guys danced for you for a free coffee?" Nicky dumped herself onto the seat beside me and stole a piece of my bread. Piper watched her do it with an irritated look before she gave the girl a smile.
"Yeah, they did. I bought them two coffees and a sandwich for it"
I chuckled, "Must have been impressive dancing"
"It was. If you'd been there you'd know"
I rolled my eyes at her. Straight back to the cold wall again. I hated fucking boomeranging with her.
Nicky let out a low whistle "I'm sensing some friction here... Maybe you guys should talk it out. Right here, right now. Just vent" We both looked back at her and she laughed, "What? You're worried about us? We won't say anything. Just observe"
"No thanks" Piper mumbled.
I scoffed at her, "Figures" I said under my breath.
She looked up at me and Nicky laughed
"Man you two have some shit that needs ironing out"
"We do not!" Piper snapped loudly at her. I stayed quiet despite wanting to call her out on it. I'd never hear the end of it if we started an argument right now. Not from Piper or Nicky.
"Right..."
Piper glared at Nicky, "We do not have shit that needs ironing. We are fine. Alex and I are friends now. That's all there is to it. We don't have anything more to say"
"Looks like Vause disagrees.." Nicky bumped my arm snd I looked away from turning my bread into a pile of crumbs to Nicky's grin. She nodded back at Piper and told me to get it out already. Piper was watching me too, wondering if Nicky was right. I looked away again, refusing to respond.
"Alex?" Piper touched my hand again, stopping it from making even more mess with the bread. I looked up at her and rolled my eyes at the sad look she was giving me. I was not falling for that.
"Don't you two have work?" I asked trying to steer the conversation off me.
Nicky laughed to herself and stood up, defeated. "Unfortunately, babe of mystery here is right"
"What?" We both said looking up at her. Nicky just winked at me and hauled Piper out of her seat. She ignored Piper's speech on not being finished with her food and pushed her a step towards the door.
"Let's go before Luescheck sends his army of vodka bottles out to get us. See you later, Vause"
I nodded and waved them away. Piper looked like she wanted to say something but Nicky quickly pushed her out of the cafeteria with a bored expression that offered no explanation for for her behaviour. When Morello sat down in Piper's vacant seat though I knew what was happening.
"Hi Lorna" I sighed tiredly and leant back readying myself for the inquisition. She slowly smiled back at me
"You know how this goes, Vause. I ask questions. Nicky asks questions. Eventually one of you cracks and we piece it all together to make a lovely painting" I rolled my eyes and she giggled, "Hey I'm just joking! Nicky might want me to interrogate you but I ain't no snoop"
"Then what do you want?" I asked frowning. Morello smiled and pulled Piper's tray towards her, "Chapman's pancake"
She stood up with the tray smiling to herself. She didn't fool me though. She didn't want leftovers at all. If she did she could grab them fresh from the kitchens, not off pipers plate. Red had sent her to take away any food I might be getting. I looked down at the cornbread and realised why it hasn't been taken off me too. In my stress I'd reduced it to a pile of finite crumbs.
Perfect. Another day without food. Why was this becoming habit for me?
"You know, I pray for all the dead babies and all their baby souls. And God, he's gonna let them into heaven, even though they weren't baptized" she sniffed and looked down at leanne writing beside her,
"Are you getting all of this?" She asked completely fine again. I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah" Leanne replied chewing on her pen lid. Pensatucky nodded happy and moved away to stretch inside the dryer. I thought about how nice and easy it'd be to push her in and lock the door on her. I bet she'd shit herself.
"And you can also tell Judy that I pray for her as well" she said pulling a couple shirts out. Leanne looked confused.
"Well, her name's Barbara" she said. Pensatucky frowned down at her
"Barbara?"
Leanne nodded and held the letter up for tucky to see herself, "Barbara"
"Damn!" Pensatucky threw the clothes down and slammed her hand against the dryer door, " I can't keep all this fan mail straight! I cant- I cant keep up with it!"
"What? You have fans?" I asked sarcatically. Their eyes turned back to me.
"She's a hero!" leanne cried and i scoffed in disbelief, "She's a defender of the unborn!"
"Jeez, that sounds like a bad X-Men movie. What'd you do, bomb an abortion clinic?"
Pensatucky ignored me so i could guess i was right. Fucking hicks.
She looked down and tapped leannes shoulder to get her writing again. The other girl quickly got back to it. Her nose pretty much smudged the page as she poised herself ready. Pensatucky looked up at me before she spoke
"And you can sign off with, 'I will be out of here by 2015. Before the rapture'"
I let out a laugh, "Oh, man" I chuckled fully amused.
"Is something fucking funny to you?" she snapped irritably. I just kept laughing. I glanced up at her simmering expression and nodded at her.
"Yeah. It's just that people predict the rapture all the time. I mean, wasn't that supposed to happen in 2011?"
The other girls turned back to pensatucky for her answer and the sudden attention had her stuttering on the spot. I mentally high-fived myself. Point to Alex.
"No" she said looking around uneasy, "No it comes in two stages. If you study your shit! The first one was a spiritual rapture. And the second one coming is a physical one"
"Ah, " I replied bored, "I see. Got it"
"And you're not invited, because they don't allow gay people on the rapture bus!" She snapped angrilly.
I met her furious scowl and blinked at her before i looked down at leanne who was looking a little uncomfortable with where the conversation was going.
"There's a bus? Are all the seats already taken by Appalachian meth-heads?"
That pissed tucky off. She finished folding a shirt and threw it on the table beside leanne who jumped in her seat startled
"Oh, man, you're gonna..You're just gonna get it, Vause, aren't you? Do we have to go back to the dryer?"
"You already locked me in that fucking dryer" I reminded her shortly when she smacked it in threat.
"Yeah, maybe I'll fucking turn it on this time. Make you spin around like a gerbil. Wanna know why?" She took a step closer and glared back at me, "'Cause I've had it with rich bitches like you"
I tilted my head at her and stared coldly into her hazel eyes. She took a couple uneasy steps back, retreating like a fucking coward. Was that what they thought? I was rich? Based on what? The fact I was educated and still owned all my teeth?
I just scoffed at her and returned to my work. Fucking bitch had no clue. No fucking clue at all.
"Exactly how rich are you?" Angie asked quietly beside me.
I stopped folding and pressed my hands against the tabletop, using the cold surface to cool my anger
"I'm not" I mumbled. Across the room tucky scoffed
"Yeah right you aren't. That's why you walk around acting like-"
"Like what?" I snapped edging round the table suddenly. It filled me with immense satisfaction when they all jumped,
"D'you wanna know something, Tiffany? I am just like you. I have to scrape and save to make it through life, just like everybody else here. I don't own my own house. I wasn't brought up in a fucking mansion and I am not distantly related to royalty. Hard as it may seem to believe"
They all stared at me a second before I turned and left the room. Fuçk them and fuck work. I left the laundry room and walked down the hall to the chapel. I was so mad I felt like hitting something. If I ran into somebody I was sure bound to start a fight.
I kicked a chair over when I entered the silent room and breathed a little deeply to calm myself down. I hated those stupid bitches. All of them.
"Don't you listen to them smarty-pants assholes. They're gonna have boring lives. You are cool"
I closed my eyes shut and leant my hands against the nearest chair for support. My mom's voice filled my head telling me to ignore everybody else. I felt my breaths turn ragged suddenly. I squeezed my eyes and gripped the chair tighter to stop from crying. Why did I have to think about her right now?
"Alex, people are gonna be assholes. They're gonna call you out on bullshit all the time. And why? Because they're fucking jealous. And who wouldn't be? You're young, you're successful...Even if you refuse to tell me what you do for work. If you're happy then who gives a shit what anybody else thinks, huh? Aren't you happy?"
"No" I mumbled shuddering a little on the spot.
My mom's words echoed around me as if she'd just spoken them aloud to me. In my head I saw her watching me carefully as I struggled to stay together. I knew she'd have said something pretty similar if she were here right now. She might even go kick those laundry whores to the ground too. I chuckled tearfully. She'd make them pay for what they said alright.
"You and me, kid, long as we have each other, fuck the rest"
I stood up straight and wiped my eyes. I stared numbly at the stain glass window. I had to fight my own battles, I knew that. And in this place I had to be extra careful. But they'd pay for what they said. I'd make sure of it.
I walked back to the door, stopping to pick up the chair I kicked over, and quietly left the chapel. I didn't go back to work. I couldn't handle another two hours of those bitches. Instead I walked to the rec room knowing that some party was being set up for tastee's leaving. All while my mom's words rolled on repeat inside my mind. Maybe watching a happy moment would make me feel better. Or depress me more. Either way it kicked the hell out of hanging around with the hicks.
I lingered by the door and peered in at them all. It was mostly black ladies hanging around talking or making up posters to tack to the walls. Somebody was even looping toilet paper through the window bars like I had before. But a few white girls were mingling too. I watched amused as boo tried to chat up some girl in the corner. Yoga was helping a few girls put posters up. Even the nun was there talking to an older lady in the back. And by the window painting on some paper was piper.
I felt myself smile as my eyes drifted over her. Her hair was shorter and curled a little. And she pretty much glowed. It made my heart go dizzy seeing her like that. She was so beautiful.
"You look like JonBenet Ramsey" I told her as i walked over behind her and observed her work. She was trying to tack a sign to the wall but was struggling to get it up right. Piper looked over her shoulder at me and laughed at my sarcasm
"Well, that's what I was going for" she chuckled, "Can you hold this for me?"
I nodded and immediately stepped forward to help. I was glad she seemed to have calmed down since breakfast. Her little makeover must have helped. I was happy for it. I hated her being mad at me.
She raised the other end of the sign and passed it to me, fingers brushing mine as she smiled. I smiled down at her as I took it and I moved to the wall to hold it up for her. I read it and smiled at her
"Did you make this?"
"Mmm-hmm. It's my second attempt" she looked down at the table where a replica sign sat half finished, "I spelt it wrong the first time"
I chuckled softly at her, "And they say you went to college"
She laughed with me and finished tacking the paper to the wall. I looked around while she did and took in all the crappy decorations and signs. It reminded me of mercys leaving party. It seemed so long ago now.
"God" I sighed and looked back at her, "I hate seeing people go. It reminds me how much time I have left"
"Yeah, but think of the story that you'll have" I grinned and pointed back at her
"That is my line"
She grinned at me, "I know it is. You always trot it out in times of suckiness"
I smiled "Yeah"
"Like that stomach virus I had in Java"
"Oh, it was a great fucking story. The whole village came out to watch you poop"
We laughed and she nodded at me, "So maybe this is kind of like that"
She smiled at me and moved a little closer. I loved how she did that now. She was fine about getting as close as possible despite how it looked. Always telling herself it was within the friendship boundaries. But it never was. Nicky never got this close. Lorna didn't. I'd never let them. But piper was different. And I totally didn't want to tell her to stop. I was all up for encouraging it.
I smiled down at her, eyes watching hers again. We only looked away when Poussey ran into the room grinning.
"Yo, she coming, y'all!" She started up a chant of tastee's name and the room followed her until the girl herself bounded in happy.
"I'm getting out, bitches!" She cried bouncing on the spot. The other girls cheered at her, happy she'd been given her freedom. Personally I was jealous as hell. Which meant they had to be too but hey, as long as one of us was getting out of here.
Boo left her fuck to be and walked up to tastee with a grin of her own as she hugged the girl,
"Yeah. Fight the power! Fuck the man!"
"Hey!" Mendez gave her a warning look and boo backed off with a smirk, "Watch it" he growled.
Somebody put the stereo on in the corner and I looked back at piper when it felt familiar. She was dancing a little on the spot and it made me smile.
"My God, do you remember this?" I asked her. A memory was flashing behind my eyes as I listened to the music.
"Yes!" She grinned, dancing still.
I turned towards her and tried to remember how that specific dance routine had gone.
"I don't even know how the arms go. I think like..." Piper knew exactly what I was doing. She turned to face the same way as me and it showed how much more she remembered than me by the way she was able to hop straight into that dance we'd thought up years ago.
I grinned at her and copied her every move until I was dancing in time with her. Behind us I heard the other women laughing
"What the fuck?" Poussey chuckled as we turned, "Shit, these white girls trying to throw down!"
I barely registered their amused mutterings. I was lost in pipers eyes as she danced with me. I was trying to remind myself it was just a dance, all friendly and all, but that got thrown out the window the second she moved closer suddenly. I smiled down at her when her head brushed mine, eyes watching me steadily while she smirked with her dance. Maybe she knew what it was doing to me. Maybe she was lost inside the memory of it too.
Pipers body moved peacefully in time with my own. It made me forget about prison. It made me forget the other women. When she danced like that she looked like she had years ago. All vibrant and cheeky. It made me miss her even more in a way.
She turned around with the beat and I bit my lip hesitant before I pulled her gently back into me.
Her hand raised up to cup my neck while I pressed her against me. Her head tipped. Her body leant harder into mine, swaying with the music slow music coming from the speakers. I smirked to myself and stroked my thumb against the hot skin on her waist where her shirt was riding up.
"Having fun?" I asked in a husky voice. I kissed her ear while she shrugged back at me and my smile widened happily.
"Could have fooled me" I told her. Piper let out a tiny moan and I chuckled.
"I've decided I love Cambodia" she told me tilting her head further away from me to give me access to her neck. I ignored that though. I loved to tease her.
"Do.. Do we have to go tomorrow? I mean can't Fahri-"
"Babe" she sighed and I closed my eyes briefly before I kissed her neck and gently span her around. She looked up at me all depressed and pouting. And I hated that.
"Hey" I stroked her cheek and tipped her chin up so I could kiss her. I smiled when her smile flavoured my lips, "One more stop and we have the entire rest of the year to ourselves. Just you and me. We can go wherever you want. You decide"
"Just you and me?" She repeated skeptical, her eyes listing towards the bar where a couple guys from the cartel were sat watching us. I knew she hated them being around. I fucking did too.
"Yeah," I said giving the guys a strong look that had them immediately getting up and leaving the beach. I turned my attention back to her when they left, "You and me, kid. For an entire nine months. How will you survive that I wonder"
She tapped my arm, "Stop it. You I can handle. It's just.. The rest of it.."
I nodded. I understood her aversion to the cartel. After everything she'd seen she deserved to hate it. I did too.
I let her twirl herself around again so we were both facing the sea. The waves softly lapped at the beach while a slow breeze tickled our skin. It was cold but I didn't mind. I just kept my arms wrapped firmly around pipers shoulders so she stayed warm. She leant back into me and looked up at the stars with a long breath. She nodded.
"Okay" was all she said.
I grinned and kissed her neck, slowly, arms moving down to wrap around her waist. She let out a content breath. I'd been nervous she'd say no. I new how much she missed home. I wouldn't be surprised if she asked to spend the next nine months back in the states.
"Where is this last stop?" She asked curious. I grinned into her skin and gently kissed my way up to her ear. I'd been keeping it a secret on purpose just to surprise her.
"A little place known as the city of romance.."
"Venice?" She asked in a totally fake voice. I rolled my eyes at her
"Paris, dumbass. As in France"
She span around, "no way?!"
I smirked back at her and kissed her, "oui, mon cherié"
Pipers smile twitched under my mouth. She kissed me back happily with a thoughtful hum
"You suck at accents" she told me giggling when I groaned frustrated. She kissed my cheek knowing I'd stop being grumpy and started to sway to the music again. Her hands pressed into my back and coaxed me into swaying with her when I simply stood there. I met her slight smile and chuckled to myself before I let myself move with her.
"Where after Paris?" She asked.
I closed my eyes tiredly and rested my head against hers. The music started up a new dancing beat much heavier than the one before and everybody else still half cut on the beach started dancing. I guess we just hit morning in Cambodia.
I sighed annoyed with them all before I answered her.
"I've kinda always wanted to see Rome" I told her dreamily. In my head I was picturing being there with her. Holidaying not working. It looked like a sweet deal in my head "And China.."
"Thailand and Egypt.." She added just as dreamily as me
"Athens.."
"Australia.."
"Ireland"
Piper giggled with that last one and I opened my eyes to look down at her. She looked amused by my suggestion. And curious. She gave me this look that asked why I wanted to see it. I shrugged
"It looks pretty. Besides," I kissed her and pressed her into me some more, "you can't deny the Irish accent is super fucking hot"
She gently slapped my shoulder, "you're not supposed to be thinking that"
"Oh? And whys that?"
"Because you love me. Or so you say"
I chuckled, "I do love you, pipes. But.." I leant away with a cheeky grin, "I love hot Irish women more"
She slapped me again harder and it had me chuckling. We stopped swaying and just stood looking at each other and smiling. Pipes looked away after a moment and I let myself look around for the cartel boys.
"Cmon" she said tugging on my hands. I looked back at her and tilted my head amused when she hopped on the spot. It took me a moment to realise she was hopping to the music.
"What're you doing?" I chuckled
"We are going to dance"
"Isn't that what we've been doing all night?" I asked pointing at the slow sunrise beginning over the sea. She ignored me and tapped my arm
"I think we should make our own dance up"
"Why?"
"Because it's fun! And in ten years time when we hear this incredibly cool song, which will be completely outdated and forgotten about by then, we can do this dance and remember every second of tonight"
I smiled at her and nodded, "okay but if you ever manage to collapse from exhaustion from today don't expect me to carry you back to the apartment. You can sleep on the sand"
"I love you" she grinned giving me a quick kiss. I beamed back at her
"Love you too, kid. Cmon then, what's this dance?"
"Chapman!"
Piper froze behind me. Somehow we'd managed to turn a harmless dance into something completely raunchy. No regrets here at all. We all looked up at the door where Healy stood looking like he was about to pop a few veins in his head.
"Get over here!" he barked.
Piper looked back at me a second before she made her way over to him smiling like a schoolgirl being told off by her teacher. The others mumbled about the party being over as she did. A few even mumbled how mad he looked. I felt myself get edgy. They were right about that. This felt like something bad was going to happen.
When piper reached him his eyes cut back to me and I realised just how furious he looked.
"We were just-"
"Shut your mouth, Chapman!" He growled viscously over her, "You think it's appropriate to violate your fellow inmate?" He questioned.
I stared at him. Im pretty sure we all did.
"Violate? We were just dancing"
"I said shut your mouth!"
"You asked me a question!" She flared back at him. He glared at her before he turned slightly to Mendez.
"That looked like attempted rape to me. Take her to SHU"
Pornstache looked back at him, "Uh, What?"
Yeah, what?!
"You can't do that!" Piper panicked. Mendez nodded
"Yeah, she's kind of right"
"Shut up, Mendez! You know, I'm tired of your shit. I'm your superior fucking officer! Now, you put her in the goddamn box, or I will fucking write you up, too!"
PIper looked like she was going into shock, "No, no, no, no"
"She didn't even do anything!" I started taking a step forward. Healy pointed back at me with a mad glare
"Step back! Or I will cite you for assaulting an officer"
Was it just me or did it look like he was taking all this personally?
I swallowed my snarky reply. He looked pretty serious. In fact the guy looked fuçking insane. I loved piper and I didn't want to see her in the shu but I didn't want to go too. I told myself I could get her out if I was free of that hell. It was the only way to stop me feeling selfish about it.
Somebody snagged my arm when his expression darkened and I let them pull me back over to the group of women standing in shock. When I looked back I saw it was Poussey shaking her head telling me to leave it. At the front piper was freaking out. I closed my eyes at the fear in her voice. I couldn't stand it. This was torture.
"I have visitation today. Larry's coming to see me. You can't do this!"
Pornstache gripped pipers arms tighter and it took everything in me not to walk up and deck him when I saw her wince in pain. He hauled her a step to the left and around Healy,
"It's all right. Let's do what the man says before he has an aneurysm. Come on"
He started to haul her out of the room and she struggled to get free. She looked terrified. "Please don't do this!" She screamed at Healy as Mendez pulled her away. Her eyes touched mine before she was yanked out of the room still screaming at Healy. He looked back at us when her screams faded down the corridor. His eyes flickered around us nervously like he expected us to say something. When we didn't he turned on his heel and walked off.
Pensatucky caught my attention when I watched him go. I never saw her walk in before. She must have snuck in. She smirked lowly at me, happily like she'd just seen a plan play itself out. I glared over at her. This had her written all over it and it was only confirmed when she clapped her hands happy and left the room. Leanne gave me an apologetic look before she followed.
I took a sharp step after them but two pairs of hands gripped my arms to stop me
"Hey man, I know she you girl and everything but you do not want to tango with Healy right now"
"Hmm mm" tastee said in agreement to Poussey, "He looked ready to blow up just now. Can you imagine what he'll do if you charge in demanding chapman be free?"
"I'm not just going to stand here!" I told them yanking my arms free. They let me go and I turned to face them, "Would you if it were you two?"
Tastee frowned confused. Poussey let out a nervous laugh, "What you talkin bout man? We jus friends"
I rolled my eyes at them and stormed out of the room. I went straight to Healy's office. I kicked the door open and stood cross armed in front of his desk. He looked up from an open file on his desk and glared at me
"What do you think you're-"
"What is your fucking problem?" I demanded cutting him off, "We were just dancing and you fucking know it!"
"If you don't leave this office this second-"
"You'll what? Throw me on ice too? We both know you could have done that before. So why send only piper to the shu?"
His eyes averted mine and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. I realised suddenly. And I laughed
"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" He liked her didn't he? He fucking fancied piper. Shit that was too funny!
His eyes snapped back to me and he glared, "I'm gonna give you one last warning, Vause-"
"Have you been imagining what it'd be like?" I asked leaning on the desk, "What she feels like when you touch her? What she kisses like?" He swallowed and I grinned, "It's incredibly good" I shared watching him squirm, "Like fucking heaven. Not that you'll ever know. Because she is never going to fuck you. This fucked idea you got going?" I shook my head and turned to leave
"Vause!" I stopped with my hand on the door, "You're getting shot for this" he warned viscously.
I suppressed a smile. Was that all he had? I gave him a cold look over my shoulder. I pressed a hand to my heart and sighed
"Ouch. That really hurt"
I left his office and slammed the door extra hard. I wasn't entirely sure what just happened or why I said what I did. It wasn't a threat but Healy was psycho. What I just did might have made it worse for piper. And I'd realised that way too late.
"Shit!" I slammed my fist into the wall closest to me. Why was I such an impulsive idiot?!
Somebody touched my arm and asked if i was okay. I didn't have to look up to know who it was.
"They sent her to the shu" I mumbled to the two women stood beside me.
"Chapman?" Morello squeaked in surprise. I nodded and Nicky squeezed my shoulder. When I looked up she was looking scared. Like she didn't think piper would be okay.
"What? What is that look?"
She blinked and forced a smile, "This look? This is my lady killer look" she tapped morello who jumped in nodding
"Oh yeah, she always looks like that"
I shrugged Nicky off me
"Stop fuçking with me. Is piper going to be okay?" I asked staring at her. She let out a breath and looked back at me with this apology in her eyes. Almost as if piper had died. I swallowed. Was it that bad there? Nicky nodded.
"I ain't gonna lie, Vause, it's not good. Pray she's only down there for a while"
"What happens if she's there longer?" i asked fear gripping my bones tight.
Nicky looked back at morello before she told me to just hope pipers stay there was short. I couldn't do that though. I had to get her out.
"Alex, where you going?" Lorna called rushing after me when I started walking towards Caputos office.
"Vause, man, cmon!" Nicky growled following.
"What they're doing is illegal. I'm not letting her stay down there" I banged on Caputos door and stood back to wait for him. Lorna was shifting nervous beside me
"Maybe this ain't a good idea" she hissed fidgeting with her hair. Nicky agreed with her
"You start fussing they'll stick you down there too"
I laughed, "For what? Helping a friend?" I banged on the door again but he still didn't answer. Fucking asshole was probably busy playing with his bloody plants. Nicky pulled my hand down from opening the door myself
"If they threw her in there for something Healy made up, what stops them doing the same to you?"
I stared at her serious eyes and slowly digested what she said. She was right. If they could lock piper up for dancing what would they do to me for shouting about it? I stood down with Nickys logic and allowed her and lorna to walk me away.
We all jumped when we turned and found a guard there watching us.
"What's going on?" She asked slowly with suspicious eyes. I felt Nickys arms brush my back as she reached around it to tap lorna. The Italian took my wrist as Nicky walked forward to the guard
"Hey Fischer. We was just chatting. Nothing in the book about that is there?"
"Well actually-"
"Good. Well, we'll just be moving on now" Nicky took hold of my other wrist and took a step forward. Fischer stopped us though
"Are you okay Alex?" She asked. When I looked up at her she was peering at me concerned. And I figured she could help me.
"No. Where's Caputo?"
She frowned, "He's at a meeting in the city. Why? What's wrong?"
"Oh nothing" lorna tried to breeze but I spoke over her
"Healy just threw chapman into the shu for dancing and I think Caputo should know his staff are breaking the law"
Fischer looked completely shocked, "oh my god are you serious?" I nodded and she straightened up with a hard look, "Leave it with me" she stormed down the hall towards healy's office and we all stared after her.
Nicky let out a low whistle, "Baby officer seriously skyrocketed in hotness" she said smiling to herself.
"Even I wanna do her" lorna agreed, immediately getting Nicky jealous. I ignored them both and span on my heel.
"Alex?.. Alex!" I ignored them as I strode into Caputos office and grabbed a pencil from the cup on the desk. The two girls whispered at me from the door, scared we'd all get into trouble
"You're gonna get us all locked in the fucking shu!" Nicky growled coming in to drag me out. I pushed her off and continued to write my note to Caputo. I trusted Fischer but I knew she wouldn't get anywhere with Healy. Caputo had to know about this.
"Nicky! Somebody's coming!" Lorna squeaked suddenly from the door. Nicky and I both looked up and exchanged a worried glance.
"Well do something!" The redhead snapped back at her, grabbing my wrist. Lorna dithered on the spot for a second and hopped into the room, quickly closing the door behind her. We both stared at her.
"What? You said do something!" She whispered. Nicky closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I meant distract whoever it is coming this way" she sighed. Obviously she was tired of morellos simple mind. Lorna leant back elated
"Oh.. Okay" she turned to go back out and we both grabbed her to stop her leaving again.
"Just be quiet" I told them when they started to squabble.
I walked to the door and pressed my ear against it to listen to the hall outside. I rolled my eyes when the other two stood and crouched beside me to do the same. Nicky smiled at me when I looked back at her annoyed
"Hey, it was your idea to play break and enter!" she whispered quietly chuckling when I poked her, "Why're you so worked up about this?"
I met her eyes. I didn't need to say because she knew. Nicky sighed and looked down at morello frowning to herself as she listened outside.
"Straight girls" she mumbled to me. I nodded at her.
"I think it's clear" morello whispered tapping our legs.
I gently pushed Nicky back and slowly opened the door a crack to check the coast was clear. I'd just started to creep out when Luescheck rounded the corner. He stopped when he saw me frozen to the spot, the door behind me opened with me half out of it.
"What're you doing?" He asked sticking his hands into his pockets. I heard Nicky and morello whispering in the room behind me and quickly shut the door so he wouldn't find them too.
"Leaving a note for Caputo" I was already in trouble. Telling the truth wouldn't kill me. Luescheck frowned and shrugged
"Whatever. You want to avoid the shu?" I blinked at him. He wasn't going to stick me in there anyway? I crossed my arms and waited.
"I've got a shit ton of laundry in my van that needs doing. You fix it for me and I'll forget I ever saw you in that office"
I nodded straight away and he grinned. He turned on the spot and nodded out the building
"Let's go then, inmate"
I almost couldn't believe my luck as I followed him out. Turning back before I exited the prison I saw Lorna and Nicky staring after me. They couldn't believe it either.