So I'm back to school and things are going to be hectic for a while. Again I can't promise much regularity with updates so I'm apologising in advance. And as always many thanks go to everyone who has reviewed me, you guys keep me going!
Chapter 10
BPOV
After Edward left I went into the house where Charlie was waiting anxiously. "Are you ok Bells?" he asked as soon as I made it through the door. I nodded. I was ok, physically I was fine. But I was starting to wonder about my mental health, I shouldn't trust them. I broke away from my thought process, I would think about that later. "Are you sure?" I nodded more vigorously and Charlie seemed appeased but awkward, not meeting my eyes.
"Umm, Bells?"
"Yes Char- yes dad?"
"You have to call Renee."
I groaned. "Dad! Why did you tell her?"
He at least had the grace to look apologetic. "I'm sorry Bells, you were in hospital, I couldn't not tell her."
I groaned again and headed to the phone, it would be the first time I'd talked to Renee since the hospital. I dialled the number and held it away from my ear.
"BELLA ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"
I winced, my head was hurting already and Renee's high pitched squeal wasn't helping the headache that I could feel building. As well as that there was a horrible empty feeling in my stomach, I had first noticed it when Edward drove away, I could only assume that I was sick and away from his calming influence I was only just noticing it.
I muttered some generic replies to Renee and tried to calm her down. After repeating the same few phrases over and over again (really I'm fine, of course I'll tell you if anything happens, I'm feeling much better since I last heard from you.) I finally put the phone down and headed to the kitchen. I made me and Charlie lasagne and took it to him in the living room.
"Sorry 'bout that Bells." I nodded and sat with him. I finished as fast as I could so I could go to bed. The strange feeling in my stomach and heart had been worsening steadily and I was tired and my body felt heavy. All the aches and pains from my injuries were pulsing.
"Night Charlie."
"Night Bells."
I went up to my room and lay down. The events of the last night and day had pushed Italy to the back of my mind, maybe the distraction was a good thing, I hadn't had a flashback or nightmare at all at the hospital.
I thought about the Cullens. Carlisle seemed really nice, he must have huge amounts of control to work in a hospital, I shivered as I wondered how he gained control but I didn't know why. Rosalie didn't like me, I wondered why she was so angry about me knowing, it wasn't like I was going to tell anyone, I hadn't so far. I hadn't seen enough of Emmet to judge but I hoped he was ok too.
Jasper seemed very reserved, not like he didn't like me, I hoped he did, but being careful, not like Alice. I smiled. Alice was so energetic and bubbly. She said I was going to be her best friend, I told myself that it was crazy, like I would be best friends with a vampire! But she already seemed to know me so well and I felt safe with her, and happy, she had so much infectious energy.
And Edward... Edward. There was something that drew me to him. He was beautiful of course but it wasn't only that, his eyes were endless. Deep pools that seemed to speak to me when I looked at him. He acted like he liked me, driving me home and being there for me in the morning. I shook my head and got changed, it took me a while and when I eventually pulled my top on I had convinced myself that I was wrong. He wasn't interested in me, I was broken; broken body, broken mind.
But why did I care? I sighed, there was no use denying it now, I did care what he thought, just like Alice said. I liked him, too much. I closed my eyes but I knew that with all the thoughts running round in my head natural sleep would evade me.
I got out of bed stiffly and hobbled to the bathroom where I downed a few swallows of cough medicine, the type that was guaranteed to knock me out for eight or so hours. I went back to my room and turned on some music softly in the background to help me relax.
EPOV
I stood outside the house for exactly 27 minutes and 13 seconds before deciding to leave. It was wrong. I was no better than any sick peeping tom, creeping into a girl's bedroom while she slept. I turned away slowly. I really wanted to see her.
I was about to leave when I heard her voice, I looked up at her window, had she seen me? I listened hard, no her breaths were even and deep, she was definitely asleep. I heard another moan and changed my mind. I had to know what was happening. I jumped up to the windowsill and pushed open the window, I was lucky and it was already about halfway open, I crept in and was immediately assaulted by the scent of pure Bella, it was like in the car but more concentrated, stronger, sweeter. My throat burned and for a moment my vision fogged over as I stood in a thirst-induced haze.
Then she said my name.
I looked at her, her beautiful, delicate form twisting on the bed.
"Edward. Please help. No. Felix. No. Edward. Edward."
She looked like she was trying to escape from something, I was suddenly filled with the desire to punch something, preferably this Felix but my dark thoughts were interrupted when Bella gave another soft cry. I stood back, not trusting myself to go any closer to her and I sat in the small rocking chair in the corner of her room.
"Edward."
I cursed myself silently, I didn't deserve to have my name called by this angel of a girl. "Bella, I'm here." I whispered.
She calmed immediately, her violent struggles stopping, leaving her blanket half off her body. "Edward?"
Her voice was so clear I could barely believe she was asleep. "I'm here love, he's gone, don't worry."
"Edward." It was just a soft sigh. Her face relaxed into a smile.
"Please, don't leave me Edward. Please don't leave me."
She was begging. I stared at her sleeping body in shock; she was begging me to stay. I wanted to sing and I wanted to cry. Instead I listened carefully to Charlie to make sure he was still asleep and I whispered my reply to her: "I'm not going anywhere Bella." She turned her upper body to the side, her face clear of worry.
It was then that I realized that I no longer felt empty. Being here with her, felt right. Good. I looked at her, lying on her side, her leg still in a cast, her ankle and wrist in braces and I felt so sorry. I couldn't protect her, I had failed this angel. I knew it was irrational, I hadn't known her then. So instead of berating myself I made a promise that I would protect her from now on, even if she didn't want me. Oh God, this hadn't occurred to me till now. What if she didn't want me?
I sat back in her chair and thought about it. I was a murderer. A vampire, the very same thing that had done whatever had been done to her. I was dark and evil where she was perfect. She was good and strong and kind and full of light. Whereas I was... not. I stared at her. She looked so innocent, lying in shorts and a tank on a white bed. I stood slowly and walked over to her, breathing in her scent. It was getting a little colder and I wanted her to be protected from the chill that what seeping in through the open window, I reached over, cursing myself as I did. I shouldn't be near her, but even as I thought this I was picking up the cover and pulling it over her shoulders. I looked down at her. Full of this crazy, strong love that was so wrong and so right. That had sprung up on me in a day as I watched her sleep.
"I love you Bella," I whispered to her.
I stared at her for a while until she turned and stared straight at me, even though she was definitely still asleep and her eyes were closed.
"I love you too Edward."
Ok, I know it's smutty but I'm really quite a romantic and I needed to get the romance started!
Here is a smiley face :-) It is secretly a hypnotic smiley face.
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