A/N: My apologies! Didn't realize that cliffhanger would be so brutal. So, enjoy this update!

-xoxo, La

Summary: Tony's struggling to control himself, while Loki is struggling to handle his varying emotions. And, finally, some important words are spoken.

Tony needed to get out of Loki's room. His apartment. His city. The walls were definitely closing in on him. His heart was racing, his breathing was starting to come a little faster, making him feel light-headed, and his palms, and other parts of his body, were dampening with sweat.

Not now, goddamn it. He begged his body not to betray him, not to let this happen in front of Loki.

Six months had passed since he escaped captivity. But the memories were still fresh in his mind. The nightmares were still playing like old movies in his head when he managed to sleep. And the panic attacks were relentless. He still hadn't deciphered his triggers, as the therapist so charmingly called them. He would be fine one minute, then plunged into hopelessness and panic—not unlike what he felt in the cave—struggling for breath the next. He could feel it happening now, rising within him as if he was being lowered into a pool of water and it was enveloping him slowly. Loki's shout made him cringe, and for a fleeting second, echoes of voices shouting in a language he didn't know sounded in his ear.

Fuck!

He felt himself trembling as everything inside him built and built toward a terrifying crescendo. But when Loki cut his words mid-rant, Tony went perfectly still. His throat too dry to speak, his only response was a faint lift of his eyebrow, and his fingers unfurling from the tight fists they had been in. Peering up from beneath dark lashes, Tony eyed Loki's face closely, watched different emotions he couldn't pinpoint play across his features. And a light bulb suddenly went off in his mind. His body began to relax even more.

Loki huffed, like he was frustrated, and pushed past Tony. "You owe me this chance to unload years of anger on you."

Tony slowly turned, following Loki's movements. "You still what?"

"What?" Loki hissed, making no move to face him.

"You still what?"

A beat of silence. Another, and Tony could see the tension in Loki's back. "Nothing," he muttered, shifting his body around, but still avoiding Tony's gaze.

Tony inched forward, slowly, careful not to startle Loki. "Not nothing. Tell me."

Loki huffed again, sharper this time, and Tony could now see the faint flush of his cheeks as his eyes flew up to meet his. "It doesn't matter—"

"Loki," Tony almost crooned the word, angling his head slightly.

"It's complicated, all right? And neither is it the point, Stark!"

An amused giggle bubbled up in Tony's throat, but he was able to clamp it down before it escaped him. Still, he shook his head at Loki's response. "Don't pull that 'Stark' shit on me. You've already slipped up, like, twenty times."

"It was not twenty." Loki crossed his arms, and like a petulant child, pouted at the floor, just as Tony straightened, planted his hands on his hips, smug as hell.

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?" he snapped.

"What you were gonna say."

"No."

"Why not?"

Loki flicked his eyes, and an annoyed look, Tony's way. "I told you; it's complicated."

Amused at this exchange, Tony grinned, giving a slight roll of his eyes. "Then explain it to me like I'm a five year old."

"You are a five year old!" Tony jolted a little at Loki's shout, eyeing his hands as they flailed about in his exclamation. "I still care about you, you idiot! There! Are you happy now?"

The room went quiet again, but for Loki's hard breathing. Tony let his body relax, muscle by muscle, giving Loki time to calm down himself, but couldn't stop the slow curve of his lips. Loki spotted it before he could stop it and growled softly, turning away.

"Wipe that stupid smile off your face."

Knowing he was possibly risking physical harm, Tony moved even closer. "No," he said softly, with a short shake of his head. Loki pressed his lips together, tightened his arms around his middle, but avoided looking at him. "You still love me." His lips twitched, even as Loki turned those dark green eyes on him.

"I never said—"

"You didn't have to, babe." Tony grinned at the soft hiss of breath Loki released as he looked away. "You still love me."

Scoffing loudly, and grumbling under his breath, Loki shifted his whole body, turning away from Tony's bright eyes. "Against my better judgment," he muttered through slightly clenched teeth, "I just might."

His smile softening, Tony dipped his head to put himself in Loki's eyesight. "I love you, too."

Where in Hel had that come from?

Loki was completely dumbfounded by his own thoughts. His own words. He tried to ignore it, pretend he hadn't just nearly confessed his true feelings, but damn that Tony. He wouldn't let Loki get away with that near slip; those three little words they both desperately needed to hear from someone, anyone, so long ago.

Loki had known for some time that he still cared for Tony; he wouldn't have scoured the newspapers and websites every day after he went missing if he hadn't felt a shred of something for him. But he hadn't realized he still loved the bastard. With every fiber of his being, he still loved that man.

And it scared the shit out of him.

He was behaving like a juvenile, deflecting and acting out—and he was completely aware of it. But allowing himself to love Tony again, letting him in once more, meant risking another broken heart. And Loki knew, the next time, he wouldn't survive it. The hate he would have for himself alone for allowing it to happen again would consume him, and he would self-destruct in spectacular fashion.

For all his efforts to resist the undeniable allure of Tony Stark, Loki thought he might have predicted they would have ended up right where they were when Tony popped up on his doorstep tonight. Right here, in his bedroom, with Loki giving in, and admitting that he still loved the genius—as much as he did before Tony disappeared on him.

The confessions and revelations they had made tonight were enough for one lifetime. But Tony finally saying those words…I love you, too. Gods, how Loki wanted to believe that. He was a skeptic by nature, suspicious of others motives; mostly because he didn't dole out his own time without a deliberate endgame in mind. He learned to be careful with his heart and mind. He couldn't be too careful with Tony. And while Loki may have kept tabs here and there over the years, Tony hadn't set eyes on him until tonight. He had no idea what Loki had been through outside of their relationship, and its effects. He didn't know what had led Loki to Los Angeles or even what he did for a living.

These thoughts tumbled around in his head as he studied Tony's face, noticing for the first time, the dark circles beneath his eyes. Despite that, he was smiling at Loki, setting his features alight. Still, Loki refused to give in, to show any trace of emotion in his own visage. He was standing at an extremely delicate precipice, unsure if he was ready to make that leap. His own eyes were dark, hooded, as he gazed down at Tony.

"You don't even know me," he murmured.

Tony clucked his tongue. "Wrong. I know you better than anybody." Loki scoffed at Tony's attempt to echo his earlier words. And maybe his lips curved. A little. "You're not denying it 'cause you know I'm right."

Facing Tony fully now, Loki was tall enough to look down his nose at him. "You used to know me. I am not the abused little boy who needed you to rescue him."

"And I'm not the chicken shit kid who used to run away from scary emotions that you needed to rescue you," Tony countered promptly with a shrug. "People change, Loki."

Loki breathed out slowly. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes, becoming overwhelmed by the moment he'd waited for-for more than ten years, he realized-and he knew with Tony standing this close, there was no way for him to hide the glistening sheen they must have had now. "I've done things that may make you change your mind about me."

That made the smug smirk finally disappear from Tony's face. Briefly. The genius' lips tilted up again, but there was no mirth, no glee to this smile. "Ditto."

What did that mean? His innate curiosity was piqued, for sure, but at the moment, his crumbling resolve took precedence. Tony Stark was seeping into his veins once again.

And, damn it, the genius knew it.

Loki breathed in sharply, under his breath, as Tony gravitated closer, easing into Loki's personal space. And started to rise up on his toes. Naturally, like a magnet, Loki leaned in, too, drawn to the force of Tony, wanting desperately to close the distance between their lips. But those little nuggets of doubt, and the screaming alarm bells in the back of his mind, stopped him just short of taking what he so desperately wanted.

"I can't…"