J – Jurisdiction
It's a grand thing, when you have jurisdiction over someone. To have jurisdiction is to have power or authority, complete control. It's thrilling and fills you with a sense of pride. But it's also extremely dangerous. Power can go to your head, and can even corrupt you enough to hurt someone. The boundary line is thin between when you have just the right amount of jurisdiction or too much.
Mello hardly saw that boundary line, if he saw it at all to begin with.
This little epiphany came to Near rather harshly one day, after he had been taken advantage of yet again. Mello had a way of manipulating Near into doing what he wanted, if his timing was right. He had to time it so that Near was in an off mood, which didn't come around often. Yet when it did, he never thought to his full reasoning potential, which gave Mello an opening to invade.
During these times, Near could be found in his room, sitting on his bed with his knees to his chin and his arms wrapped so tightly around himself it appeared as though he wanted to cut off the circulation in his legs. Mello knew this because whenever he sought out Near and found him nowhere in Wammy House, his room was the last place he could look. And when he came in, without a knock like always, he would find Near this way. It's been four times now.
"There you are, you albino bastard," the blonde snapped as he stepped into the room. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"
"Was Mello worried about me?" the younger boy whispered hopefully.
"Yes, and it pisses me off that I was!" the other retorted. He came up to the bed and stared the pale boy down. "Do you have any idea what goes through my head when it comes to you?"
"I would like to know," Near murmured softly.
Mello snorted. "Of 'course you would. And you know what? I'm feeling generous today, because I'm glad that I found you before my dead exploded." He took a deep breath. "I don't know what it is, but I have this obsession with you. I feel like I need to protect you, to keep you all to myself. And yet I push you away half the time because I' afraid of what I might do if given the chance to touch you, even for an instant. You're always so… distant, Near. Tch, it's like you purposefully planned the irony of your adapted name. But no, because of your distance, you actually seek subtle attention, don't you? Namely from me. And because of this, it drives me up a wall! I can never stop thinking about you, and I hate it. Just what's so special about you, huh? And I don't mean your smarts, either, since I'm just as clever as you are! No, I mean everything else. Just… what is it?"
"I wouldn't know, Mello," the albino replied lowly. "But I'm glad."
"Glad? GLAD? What the hell for?"
"That Mello feels that way. I'm happy that Mello keeps coming back." He looked up into those cold blue eyes. "Because I don't want to be an enemy to Mello. I want to be close to him. He's all I have, the closest thing to a loved one."
Mello's shock came over him like a wave of arctic air. He stiffened, his body going rigid with a coldness that stopped his heart and made guilt weigh heavily upon him. It seemed that, in this orphan world, he was left to be something special to a boy he thought he didn't like, to a boy he thought he was supposed to make a rival out of.
"You have complete jurisdiction over me, Mello," the white-haired boy said softly. "It's not fair, but somehow, I belong to you."
It was after Near said this that Mello tackled him to the bed, tears stinging his eyes as he yelled in demand of why it had to be him. When he got no answer, he shuddered with a quaking breath and sudden lustful urge. His head shot up to glare at Near, but slowly, his head fell to kiss the boy beneath him. Over and over he kissed him, hard, until Near's lips were turning a muddled purple from overuse.
"I'll be back later," Mello said. He needed some time to think.
But when he came back later, it turned into their first time of barrier-free connection, in which they lost themselves completely. And that was where the vicious cycle began and didn't end until approximately a year before the Kira case came into full effect.