Da dummmmmmmm! Update! Thankies for all the reviews! I love them all!

Winter getting colder, summer getting warmer. ~American Ride, Toby Keith

Rachel's POV:

Two hours later I sit with Skitt on the floor playing with Kevser. Finnick and Haymitch sit at a chess board, Finnick wearing an arrogant grin as Haymitch scowls trying to find a move to make without losing.

"This isn't fair" Haymitch mumbles.

"What isn't fair? That your brain is slower than mine, that I'm clearly better at you than chess, or both?" Finnick wonders aloud. I burst out laughing at this. Finnick looks back and smiles at me.

"I think both" I get out.

"I could ground you for that; I'm still your father" Haymitch glares at me.

"You haven't grounded me in what, seven years?" I ask as I remember the time when Haymitch walked in to find Peeta and me lying in the same bed in the morning. He had had a total overprotective father moment then. It was strait home from school every day and I had to share a bed with Haymitch for a week. Worst. Week. Ever.

"Yeah, but I could still do it"

"What did you do?" Skitt asks me as he helps Kevser with a puzzle, pretending to not know what to do himself.

"I walked into her room one morning to find her and Peeta in bed together. She was twelve, he was fourteen"

"Peeta was thirteen Haymitch" I correct him. Finnick turns and raises an eyebrow at me, a sly grin on his face.

"What were you guys doing?" he purrs.

"Nothing, he came in the night before and feel asleep there." I let out a yelp when I notice Skitt is right next to my face.

"I wouldn't let Finnick get any further into this topic, unless you want Kev to ask questions that Finnick will tell him answers to when he's about eleven." He whispers into my ear. My mouth falls open into an "Oh" as I get what he's saying, so I do change topics.

"So, how did everyone like their dinner?"

"Oh it was great, I loved the eggs" Finnick smirks to himself.

"God, shut up Finnick you have a disgusting mind!" I half yell.

"Hey! I got one!" Haymitch suddenly exclaims and we all stare at him, he takes his chess piece and moves it. "Check-mate"

"What the hell" Finnick turns back to the game to see what Haymitch did.

"I could ground you too Finnick for swearing in front of my grandson, I am your father too." Haymitch leans back into his chair.

"Like you haven't swore in front of him yourself" Haymitch takes a swig of his liquor.

"Nope" the 'p' pops as he says it, "Only drink in front of him, which I just said it's apple juice, and there, problem solved."

"What if he asks you for some?" Skitt asks

"He did, I said it was adult apple juice" my father is clearly very proud of himself for this.

"Very clever Haymitch" my voice drips with sarcasm, but he plays along.

"Why thanks sweetheart"

I just sigh and we all sit in silence for a while, except for Finnick groaning as he studies the chess board. Finally it's Kevser who speaks up.

"Momma, what my nam?" he asks softly. Skitt laughs at his question.

"Kevser Peeta Odair" I tell him.

"Who Peeta?" he asks me. All heads in the room turn to me. I'm sure the sadness in my eyes, I know, is evident. As hundreds of memories rush into my mind. I'm transported back in time, to when I held him in my arms. When we told each other we loved each other, that we always would, that we're each other's. I get the feeling of him in my arms again, while he told me to go on and find someone else. All while, a sword was protruding through him, and he was taking his final breaths. I take a shaky breath and barely hear Finnick.

"We'll tell you when you're older." But I ignore Finnick, and subconsciously begin to tell my son about who he's named after.

"Peeta, Peeta Mellark saved my life. He was an artist, a baker. He always double knotted his shoelaces; he never took sugar in his tea. He always slept with the windows open, and he never missed a sunset. He brought me to Haymitch when I was starving, when I was hurt, he gave me a home, he gave me a new life. He visited me every single day. Just like he promised he would. Peeta became my best friend, the one person I trusted the most. I owed my life to him; I owe my life to him. Every night he would sneak into my room through the window and stay until I fell asleep, sometimes he stayed all night long. He would watch out for me at school, and at home. Everywhere really. When he was chosen for the Hunger Games I volunteered to go with him, saving a little girl. I vowed that he would be the one to come out. I told myself that I owed him at least that much for everything he had done for me. He deserved to live, because he was the best person to ever walk on this planet. Then, one night, he kissed me. And he became so much more than just a friend. He was everything to me. In the Games, we stayed together, we cared for each other. We were going to win too, he was going to win. That was my plan, but everyone else had a different one. He sacrificed himself for me, so I wouldn't get killed. He died in my arms. He promised I'd see him again though." I take another breath, and now I'm aware of arms around me, Finnick. "I've seen him again too. A few times, actually. In dreams, when I did die in the Quell. He told me to go back, that I had more to do. I see him in flashbacks too, some happy, some sad."

When I look up from my lap I see Kevser looking intently at me, listening to every word I had said. Everyone in the room is silent, some things I said even they didn't know.

"Peeta good?" Kevser questions me after a little bit. I get out of Finnick's arms and go and pick up my son. I bring him close to me.

"The best" I smile and he smiles back. "You need to get to bed though Kev, it's late." In response Kevser yawns, and soon after so do I. My flashback took a lot of energy out of me. Finnick comes over and offers his hands out to take Kevser.

"I'll put him to bed, you should go get ready yourself, Haymitch beat me anyways." I nod as I hand Kevser to Finnick and he carries him up the stairs to his room. After I say goodnight to Haymitch and Skitt, who is staying overnight here until he leaves to go off to the Capital the following day, then head upstairs myself. I go into my room and change my pants into shorts since it's usually warm here at night. I strip off my shirt and then go and throw another one over my head. I stop though, holding my shirt up, as I catch my reflection in the mirror. I see the scars, deep, dark, and each one telling another story, as they run around my body. It makes me look exactly like what I am, what I've been through. Broken and put back together, piece by piece.

I just stare at my reflection, eyes going up and down my own body. Scars run down my legs, on my stomach that wrap around my torso to my back, where more live. On my arms, even my neck. Scars from torture, from abuse, from being raped. My hips, which once were home to the worst of them, now are nothing compared to my sides, my back. My brain. Mental scars, scars that will never fully heal, never leave me. Today was proof of that. I was just a piece in their Games, because you can't not be. It's not possible. You do what they wanted you too, or you die, or someone you love dies. Either way, you become a player or you're the cause of death yet again. Either way you cause death, you take away life. Sure, some of the victors can forget, can live happily, not have to remember what happened. Like Finnick, happy, lively Finnick. And Chaff, and Seeder, and even Johanna.

But I can't

I'll always be trapped. Still in the arena. Still a player. Because they've made me that way, made it impossible to forget, even for a minute. They've changed me. Programmed me to have the flashbacks, to feel the need to hurt someone, and if I fight it, I get taunted, get mentally damaged.

I'm the mutt. Not Finnick. I am.

I look past my reflection when I hear a knock on the door as it creaks open. Finnick pokes his head in a little. His eyes grow worried when he sees me.

"You okay?" he asks. In answer, I move down one of my hands and trace the scar that runs across my abdomen, from Zapher. With that, Finnick comes into the room, he stands behind me, places his hands on my sides. And gently, softly, with his fingers, traces the scars. "You're still beautiful" he whispers.

"I'm a mutt" I whisper back, he abruptly stops tracing my scars and meets my eyes in the mirror.

"No, no you're not"

"Yes I am. You're able to forget, for just a few minutes maybe, but you don't have to think about it all the time. You're still you. I'm not. I'll never be the same. I'll always have flashbacks. They changed me, that's the one thing I didn't want to happen. I don't deserve Haymitch, or Kevser. Or you" The last part is just above a whisper. Finnick moves his arms so they encircle me and takes my hands in his, never breaking eye contact in the mirror.

"I don't care. I don't care if you can't forget. I'll help you through it, we all will. You've been through enough, you deserve us all. I'm not leaving you"

"Promise?" I ask. In response, he takes my left hand in his and brings them up to my face, so I can see the matching rings on our hands.

"I already have"

I hope you liked it! I'm trying to get Finnick back to his old self slowly, since Rachel is getting better too. So hopefully I can get that to happen. Next chapter we learn why Skitt is there! Please press the button that starts with an 'R' and ends in a "W"!

Mocking Verse