Sanji is feeling especially sorry for himself right now, he's kind of kicking himself for not using his last question to find out just who Zoro's girlfriend is. He's swinging between that and not wanting to know at all. On the one hand he really wants to know more about this stupidly lucky girl, but on the other he probably shouldn't. He's so desperate to understand more about her and just what's so special about her that made her so appealing to Zoro that he could get over Baby.
In all honesty it's probably better for him not to know about her. He'll just end up torturing himself about his own flaws and how he compares to her.
"You're really just going to hang out here getting shitfaced then? That's your plan?" Patty challenges him, making a move to take Sanji's vodka away. Sanji is usually a wine or craft beer kind of guy, but right now he will settle for the most efficient path from sobriety to drunkenness.
"Yes, that's my plan." He snaps and pours himself another measure into his cola. After all, even if he is horribly upset he's not going to drink this stuff neat.
"Whatever, man." Patty grumbles and walks off to continue setting up the bar for actual paying customers.
Sanji slides down in his own booth and drinks his drink. He doesn't know if a flat out "sorry I'm not interested" would have been better or worse.
He'd feel pretty deflated if Zoro hadn't liked him at all, and felt really stupid too. There had been hints that Zoro had liked him as well so if he'd just misread all of that because Zoro didn't like him he'd feel pretty foolish. On the other hand though, simply being rejected because you're not the appropriate gender or something isn't really anything personal.
But Zoro does like him back. Zoro hadn't just kissed him back Zoro had pushed things further. It was Zoro who had pressed him up against the kitchen counter and kissed Sanji back until his bones felt like melting. But Zoro wasn't available, though he'd pretty much outright said that he was interested. He wonders if he's going to be able to get over this or if he's going to sit around hoping against hope that Zoro and his mystery girlfriend break up.
He highly suspects that he'll be pining away hoping that the secret girl will suddenly change her mind. It's pathetic but what can he do?
He throws his drink back and pours another, going considerably heavier on the vodka and substantially lighter on the cola.
What does this girl have that he doesn't anyway? He really wants to know. Did she just get there first? Is Zoro even happy with her? He certainly hasn't seemed like he's half of a loving couple, but then he supposes that Zoro's been trying to keep their relationship a secret.
But... at the wedding Zoro was whining that no one loved him and he didn't have a soul mate, which was bullshit because Sanji was right there and he loves him plenty. So... was Zoro actually unhappy with his girlfriend and really bemoaning his lack of love or was he just lying to make Sanji think that he didn't have a girlfriend? It'd be a pretty convoluted lie if it was one. After all it wasn't as if Sanji had pressed about Zoro's love life at all and prompted the other man to play like he was single and lonely.
Fuck why was Zoro so goddamn hard to figure out?
He finishes his newest drink.
He's starting to get a little fuzzy headed as it happens and he ponderously takes out his phone. He stares at Zoro's number and opens up a text message.
Uh. No. Wait, drunk texting or drunk calling Zoro was not only not cool but it was a really bad idea.
He slides the phone across the other side of the table and pours himself a new drink.
So. What is his plan going to be? He's not going to have a problem working with Zoro, that's for sure. He's just happy to have not lost that despite being shot down. It might be a little... difficult to deal with any love songs with him for a little while but he's sure he can manage in the long run.
He runs his finger up and down the condensation on the glass and stares at it. It's late enough now that the Baratie is open to actual customers aside from just himself. The music starts to play, even though it's just from the speakers and not from a live band.
When does Zoro even see his super secret girlfriend then? He knows that Zoro goes off cycling into the night sometimes and he'd just sort of assumed that unless Zoro was cycling to a bar to get drunk or start a fight that he was just... well... either cycling to work or just out enjoying his bike. Perhaps... perhaps sometimes he's off seeing his secret girlfriend.
He wonders how often he sees her. He wonders what she thinks about the fact that she's kept a secret from Zoro's friends. He knows that he wouldn't be okay with that at all. Which isn't to say that he'd make a whole song and dance about going out with Zoro if he was ever so lucky (okay, well now he might make a song about it but that's not the point) but he wouldn't keep it from people. Something as great as love shouldn't be kept hidden.
Maybe, he thinks as he drinks some more, Zoro isn't happy with his girlfriend but perhaps he just has insanely low standards for happy in his relationships. Like 'hey you didn't steal my music and slap me on stage!' constitutes a good relationship. So... perhaps Zoro might see that he's got options, that he's got someone else who genuinely wants him. And perhaps even further Zoro might... maybe... leave his girlfriend for him?
He downs his glass. He is starting to sound pathetic now, even to himself.
Well. Enough of that pathetic self pity, he might be able to get a bus home if he leaves now. But... he might run into Zoro at home and he's not sure what he'd say if he saw him like this. Maaaybe he can just crash in his old room and then go home tomorrow.
On the plus side that means he doesn't need to stay even vaguely sober. Yay!
He considers calling Zoro and looks across the table at his phone. He gathers up the last of his sober sanity and picks the phone up.
He grabs the bottle of vodka, leaving the useless cola on the table and stands up. The world pitches to the right and takes him with it. After several stumbled steps in the wrong direction he reorients himself and heads behind the bar and punches in the code to open up the till.
"OI!" Patty snaps at him but stops when he sees Sanji just drop his phone in the drawer and shut it. Later he'll be either too drunk to remember the code to get in it again, or failing that Patty probably won't let him near it at all. Commending himself for his own underappreciated genius he heads upstairs and into his old man's house.
Zeff is thankfully out tonight, seeing some old friend Patty had said. He half walks and half falls up the stairs, swigging directly from the blessed bottle of vodka as he does so. It occurs to him that this would be an excellent time to sing! He takes a long pull of vodka and launches into a very slurred rendition of "I've got you under my skin" on account of Sinatra is just about the best thing to sing whilst drunk, or even sober. His voice usually goes pretty well with Sinatra, although objectively it's probably a little closer to what it should sound like when he's not completely trashed.
He throws himself down on his old bed and throws his arm over his eyes, the bottle still hanging in his free hand. He bites his lip as he imagines Zoro perhaps telling him that he and his girlfriend have broken up and they can be together now. He knows that he's being pathetic but... he just wants Zoro to see him like that.
He drops the vodka bottle on his night stand and considers what to do now. He could go out to another bar, one he's not vaguely involved in the ownership of. He could go and get drunker and try to talk someone into bed with him. But... he knows inside that it won't make him feel better. Besides, right now he really doesn't need the embarrassment of calling Zoro's name out in bed with someone else, or not being able to go through with it at all.
Even so, and he's sure this doesn't make sense, but he'd feel wrong trying to sleep with someone else. It'd feel... unfaithful somehow. Which is dumb as shit because as was so recently proved to him, Zoro is not only not his boyfriend but also has no intentions of being it any time soon.
The internal debate about whether or not to go out dies immediately, he's just going to go to bed and sleep this off.
The world is aching and spinning when Sanji makes his way into the house, a little lighter the cab fare back as there's no way he was sober enough to drive home safely. He hisses in hung over pain as the cab speeds away on the gravel driveway and he makes his way back up to the house, head aching and cursing his poor choices.
He makes it as far as the kitchen before he's spotted.
"Well, where did you get off to?" Nami asks, spying him on her way into the kitchen. It's just early enough to be breakfast time, as Sanji's phone had woken him up with an alarm to remind him. Or, to be more precise, his phone had woken Zeff up and Zeff had then rather discourteously kicked him out of bed into a self pitying heap.
"Just out, but I couldn't let you make breakfast on your own." Sanji smiles weakly at her and drags himself into the kitchen.
"Are you okay? You look a little pale." Nami questions, eyeing him suspiciously.
"I'm fine, my flower." He flutters weakly for her and very gingerly gets out the frying pan and saucepans for a cooked breakfast. Every time they clank or clatter on the cooker top makes him wince.
"You're hung over!" Nami yelps, pointing at him. Her voice is loud enough to send a sharp needle of pain through his brain.
"So, is Zoro dealing with this as badly as you are then?" she asks, her hands on her hips and a smug little smile on her pretty lips.
Sanji's blood freezes, Nami knows?
"What?" He squeaks pathetically.
"The hangover? Or does he not have one at all? Sometimes he's a real bastard like that, he gets trashed with you and then wakes up just fine the next morning, it's not fair." Nami pouts, her lip jutting out cutely. However Sanji is still confused by all that she's said and spending brain power admiring his lovely manager's cute pout is hardly helping.
"Wha?" He mumbles confused.
"Geez Sanji, are you still drunk or something? He went out with you last night didn't he? Where is he?" she frowns at him.
"No, Zoro wasn't with me. I went out on my own. Is... is he not here?" He asks in surprise, realising what Nami must have assumed.
"Oh, no. No he's not. We all just figured that the two of you had gone out together, you know, since you're so close now and everything." Nami smiles with a slightly catlike and devious expression on her face.
"No, sorry." he apologises weakly and goes back to cooking, his mind spinning fast. Where was Zoro last night then? There's the possibility that he went out to drown his sorrows as Sanji himself had, but... but if it were him he'd go to his secret girlfriend and either confess what had happened or try to make it up to her somehow. A small hopeful part of his brain optimistically suggests that maybe Zoro went to go and break up with his girlfriend. He shoves that part away, he doesn't need false hope.
"The two of you do seem to be getting on better than you did at first. It's good that the fighting has stopped." Nami says approvingly, leaning against the kitchen counter and playing with the ends of her hair.
"I'm afraid we still fight plenty, my love. But we're doing much better than we were." he laughs softly and switches the stove on.
"I don't think I would have believed when you two first met that it wouldn't be long before you were all snuggled up on the sofa together asleep." She giggles, effectively turning Sanji scarlet.
"Ah- that was- uh... he just wasn't sleeping so I thought I'd keep him company then... uh..." He stammers, overwhelmed with embarrassment.
"Suuure." She giggles at his discomfort.
Sanji tries to force his blush down and starts cracking eggs into a bowl. He's not sure that he's got enough coordination as hung over as he is to manage to do individual eggs for people, so he thinks that scrambling is the best idea, besides he makes some damn good scrambled eggs. They'll help with the hangover too.
"You ought to ask him out you know. He likes you, I'm sure of it. And don't say that you don't, I see the way you look at him!" Nami overrides him as he tries to protest in flushed mortification.
"I think it's sweet, and I think you'd be good for one another." She adds with a small soft smile. Sanji looks at her open mouthed and tries to suppress the flash of hurt that runs through him. He'd thought that he could be good for Zoro too, and he knows how much Zoro has brought out the best in him. But... Zoro turned him down. But it's not as if they know about Zoro's secret girlfriend either. If only she wasn't so secret then maybe he could have been spared having to bare his feelings to Zoro only to be shot down. If he'd known that Zoro was with someone before... if he'd been open about it then perhaps Sanji could have lived with just longing for him without expectation.
But he hadn't known, and neither does anyone else. So they were all trying to help him, and they were right that Zoro was attracted to him too, or he seemed to be from what he said and the way that he'd kissed Sanji back. A rush of excited static runs over his skin at the memory.
He realises that Nami is still looking at him and it's been some time since either of them spoke. He shakes his head, letting more of his hair slide forward into his face to hide his expression a little as he cooks.
"You're not the first person to give me that kind of advice." Sanji sighs, looking at the eggs and stirring them as a wave of melancholy washes over at him.
"So you ought to. He'll say yes, I'm sure!" she encourages him with a pat on his shoulder.
"I... no." he says shaking his head.
"Why not? I know you like him, so do it! We were hoping that you might take the initiative yourself but I think you need a little nudge." Nami says, her face taking on that cunning catlike smile that he usually loves too much. Not quite so much now though.
"Nami, don't..." Sanji sighs, closing his eyes.
"Do it or I'll ask him out on your behalf." She threatens with a grin.
"Please don't, he won't say yes. Just leave it, please Nami." He begs her, looking over at her and taking his eggs off of the heat so that they don't singe.
"Oh Sanji, don't be a chicken, you don't know what he'll say until you ask, and I'm telling you-" She begins.
"That's how I know! He... he said no. So please... just... stop." Sanji forces out, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose to try to distract himself from the tension and upset. He's always been a reasonably emotional guy when it comes to matters of the heart, but when he's as invested as he is with Zoro... well... it still hurts.
Nami looks stunned at this revelation, so much so that she's silent with her mouth slightly open for a second or two.
"You... you asked him out and he said no?" she asks in numb surprise.
"Yes." he answers reluctantly.
"Oh, I'll strangle him! He likes you! Why would he- why did he say no?!" Nami yells in frustration. Sanji tries to shush her, it's bad enough that he's had to tell her, but he really doesn't want the whole house hearing. Moreover this would be a stupidly bad time for Zoro to walk in and hear them, and knowing his luck Zoro would.
They hadn't exactly talked about keeping the whole thing quiet, but the fact that Zoro had chosen to keep his girlfriend a secret rather implied that Zoro would be more than just a little annoyed at him outing him on that. Even so, he needs to say something or else Nami is going to go and try to force them together.
"He just said he couldn't. I'd really rather not go into it, but it's not his fault, don't worry about it." He mumbles, turning over the sausages under the grill, they look nearly done.
"I can't imagine why he'd- ugh. He really needs to get over Baby, I hate the fact that she's ruining his life even though she's gone!" She says, her hands on her hips irritably.
She casts her gorgeous brown eyes up at him with a sad little expression, one that looks far too close to pity for Sanji's comfort.
"I'm really sorry Sanji, maybe he'll come around." She says gently, touching his shoulder.
"Yeah." He hums softly, not really wanting to talk about it at all. He stares into the pan and adds the mushrooms to fry.
"Okay... well... call me when breakfast is ready, okay Sanji?" the beautiful red head frowns, sounding a little put off by Sanji's lack of response.
"Of course, my mellorine." he promises, though nowhere near as enthusiastically as he normally might.
Nami leaves him then and Sanji cooks a solid breakfast, plenty of eggs, sausages, toast, tea and coffee. He makes fried mushrooms, somewhat glad for Usopp's lack of presence because nothing makes the quick fingered keyboard player bitch like mushrooms. Any attempt Sanji ever makes at serving them is met with complaint by him and Zoro always seems to end up with extra mushrooms sneakily applied to his plate via Usopp. Not that Zoro seems to mind of course, he actually eats all of his food without complaint and-
Goddamnit. Why is he constantly thinking of Zoro?! Well, it's no mystery as to why, really. He's in love with the other man. All the same, he's been turned down and it won't help his heart to heal if he constantly keeps thinking of the green haired man, like poking at a still healing wound.
He has enough time to briefly wonder how that cut on Zoro's nose is healing before he catches himself and silently reprimands his own mind for thinking of him again.
He has the forethought to prepare a lunch platter and places it within the fridge for his friends to help themselves to, along with a helpful note on the fridge door to explain. It's easy for them to see as he places all of the lunch platter's parts onto the one central shelf and sticks a post-it on that too.
He serves up breakfast and eats his portion without any real joy for it, he stays out of the conversation that the others are having, paying so little attention that by the time he gets up and begins to clean up he can't even remember what it was that the others were discussing. Zoro of course was absent, that no doubt would have held his attention.
After the cleaning is all done he drags his carcass up the stairs, cursing the number of flights that he has to go up. He goes into his room, kicking the door shut and strips as his headache bangs behind his eyes and his heartbreak throbs in his chest. He throws himself into his own bed and decides to try to sleep them both off. With the luxury of lunch already taken care of he allows himself to drop into a deep sleep.
When he wakes up it is late afternoon going on early evening. Zoro is back and inside the music studio. He's not playing though, surprisingly. Instead the guitarist is sitting uncharacteristically straight in Chopper's desk chair, writing in a notepad on the table.
He has Chopper's expensive headphones on and he's flicking around on the computer listening to something and occasionally stopping to make notes, switching from different colour pens as he does so. Sanji lurks silently in the doorway for a few moments, just watching. Zoro would usually have heard him by now but Sanji knows just how well those headphones block out noise as Chopper uses them sometimes just to tune Luffy's cacophony out.
Zoro is wearing a thick black woollen jumper, with long chewed up sleeves that come to his knuckles. His hair is scruffy, or scruffier than usual anyway. The anxious energy that he was carrying around before seems to be gone but in its place seems to be a kind of... dullness. That's the only way that Sanji can describe it, dullness; as if Zoro's shine has been scrubbed off of him. Almost like the man over there is merely someone pretending to be Zoro.
He hesitates about whether to let Zoro know that he's there or whether to simply leave. He doesn't want to set a precedent for avoiding Zoro, he still wants to be in the band with him but... he doesn't want to make a fool of himself again either. The decision is made for him when Zoro catches a glimpse of him in his peripheral vision and looks around with a slightly surprised look.
"Hey." Zoro says quietly, looking at him carefully.
"Hey." He echoes, leaning against the door frame, although in truth he's actually more hiding behind it slightly, almost as if he was Chopper. The kid does that sometimes when he's nervous; it's kind of sweet really.
"Still hung over?" Zoro smirks at him, grinning to slowly reveal a flash of perfectly white and slightly too pointy teeth. Zoro looks like he could bite right into him, and... okay, no, why is his sex drive taking that thought and running with it? Bad. No.
"Get fucked. What are you even doing anyway?" He asks conversationally throwing out the insult and continuing on.
"Transcribing, Nami and Luffy are all insistent about having everything written down and documented, you know, after..." Zoro trails off and just lets that sentence hang there in the air.
"After Baby stole half of your songs you mean?" Sanji says flatly, not feeling particularly magnanimous towards the source of his hangover right now.
"Yeah, asshole, after that." Zoro responds with a glower.
"So what... oh." Sanji trails off, leaning over Zoro's shoulder he sees his own words on the paper and he realises that Zoro's been sitting here listening to the recording of him singing. A shudder of stupid excitement runs down Sanji's spine, it's stupid because Zoro has just told him why he's doing it but some stupid wishful fantasist part of Sanji's pathetic brain suggests the idea that maybe Zoro is thinking of him, regretting saying no, or maybe he's running over that perfect kiss in his mind as much as Sanji is. Maybe all of that was true and he'd come down to listen to Sanji sing just to get a fix of him or something.
He shakes his head. No, that's a dumb idea. Zoro just has to record what they did is all. Musically, he means.
Zoro is literally only half paying attention to him, with headphones on one ear and off of the one closest to him. He leans forward a little, grumbles under his breath and straightens up again, god he's fidgety today. His pen taps on the paper and he tilts his head thoughtfully for a second or two and then scrawls down some notes in green guitar tablature that clearly mean something to him.
"I'm gonna need Usopp to look over this when he comes back, for any keyboard work. Then we'll need to properly record... Nami's going on about a new album from all the new material." Zoro says to him, not looking up from the paper but tilting his head in Sanji's direction so that Sanji knows that he's talking to him.
"When is he back anyway? Lucky bastard going to Hawaii of all places with his new wife." Sanji huffs bitterly, simultaneously happy for Usopp's love life and envious of it too.
"Tell me about it." Zoro chuckles in a tone low enough to spark some interest from Sanji's nervous system.
"Why does he get to have everything?" Sanji pouts, sinking low in his chair and kicking his feet up onto Chopper's desk. He's feeling especially childish right now.
"Cause he met the love of his life who just so happened to be loaded and married her, the rest of us just have to do without. If Chopper sees you with your feet on his desk he will literally rip your tongue out you know." Zoro adds, flicking a glance at him.
Sanji pokes said tongue out at Zoro whilst the other man scribbles something else down on the paper and un-pauses the recording once more. Sanji squints at Zoro thoughtfully, that's the second time Zoro's said something like that about Usopp. About how his friend has found the love of his life and Zoro... well... hasn't. At the wedding Zoro had sounded lonely and miserable, unloved even. That had all made sense when Sanji had thought that he was alone and had been since Baby. But with this new and secret girlfriend that wasn't the case, so why was he sounding like that? Was he unhappy with his girlfriend?
Sanji doesn't know if he wants Zoro to be unhappy with his girlfriend or not. On the one hand if he is Zoro might realise that he's got a better offer in the form of Sanji, but it would rather hurt to have been turned down by Zoro for someone he doesn't even like all that much. But... well... if Zoro is only being... what... theoretical about all of this then it means that he is happy with his girlfriend and Sanji doesn't stand a chance of being with Zoro any time soon.
Of course... his girlfriend might see all of those pictures and tweets from the others theorising that the two of them were either desperate for each other or perhaps even shortly about to get together. Maybe that would make her leave him and then he could have Zoro all to- no. No no no. That was a shitty line of thought and he shouldn't even entertain it. Aside from serving to get his hopes up again he didn't really want Zoro to get ditched by some ungrateful girl again, not after the hurt that Baby caused, and more so he hardly wants to be the catalyst for that. Zoro probably wouldn't think of him too favourably if he was. He really wants Zoro to like him, not to think of him as the infuriating blonde that ripped his relationship apart.
"Oi, Earth to curly brow." Zoro says, snapping Sanji out of his self pitying stupor.
"Uh?" He gawps, eloquent as ever.
"I said that he's back in four days, and I asked you what you thought of the drums Luffy did for your song. How much of a lightweight are you to still be this hung over?" Zoro accuses faintly.
"I'm not a lightweight, I just wasn't listening to you on account of how boring your dumb ass is. And I don't really remember the drums, I was kind of preoccupied by apparently being able to write at all, let alone write and sing at the same time." He points out reasonably and kicks Zoro in the ankle for insulting him, somewhat less reasonably.
"I told you that you could do it." Zoro grins smugly, in a suffocating air of self congratulatory jerkiness. Stupid Zoro.
"For the record, you're an ass and I hate you." he points out flatly.
"Uh-huh." the guitarist retorts unconvinced and then stuffs the giant headphones on Sanji's head, bending his ear uncomfortably as he does so. Sanji hisses and sets them right whist Zoro queues up the song. The headphones are remarkably soft and soundproof; he can see why Chopper likes them.
Zoro plays the song. It's obviously missing most of the instruments since it was just him, Zoro and Luffy when they recorded but still. His voice comes through crystal clear, perfect through the headphones and even putting all ego aside the sound of his voice comes through perfectly in his ears and makes all the hair on the back of his neck stand up and his skin break out in goosebumps.
"Oh my god... my voice." He breathes in wonder. He can't hear anything outside the headphones and Zoro seems to know this as the green haired man flashes him a genuinely bright and pleased smile.
Sanji's eyes flutter closed as he listens. His voice has never sounded like this, sure he's always known that he was good, and he's heard himself recorded before but that was years ago. He's not actually heard any of the new songs that he's recorded with the band as Chopper is slightly infuriatingly precious about not letting anyone hear them until he's perfected his editing. But this... this is raw and his voice is so much better than he ever knew. He's sure that it's not just the headphones or Zoro's guitar, he's better than he used to be, way better.
How has he gotten this good? He opens his eyes again and sees Zoro and instantly knows. Zoro has made him better. Competing with Zoro, trying to keep up with him, trying to impress him, listening to his feedback... all of it has improved his skills, apparently to an incredible degree. He's improved more in the short months that he's known Zoro than he has in years before. At the Baratie he'd been coasting for some time, the performances had stopped challenging him and whilst learning the new lyrics and pulling them off was always interesting it hadn't been challenging him. Zeff must have known that, it must have been why he kicked him out. Shit, he owed the old man a thank you and Zoro too.
He stares at Zoro, his mouth slightly open as he only barely manages to focus on the drums. He loves Zoro more than he did before, he's just... amazing for him. No one else challenges him like this, pushes him just right and goads him into being better whilst trusting what he can do even if Sanji himself doesn't believe that he can do something. But Zoro does believe in him, trusts him.
The song finishes and Zoro pushes the headphones off of Sanji's head, his fingers sort of combing through Sanji's hair as he does so.
"Wow." He breathes, looking at Zoro. A flush flashes across the other man's cheeks and he pulls his hand back and looks away suddenly.
"I've never really heard myself like that." Sanji adds, trying to make it clear that he was talking about the recording rather than his revelation that Zoro is the best thing ever for him or that Zoro just kind of petted him there. A thought flashes through him that Zoro could be the love of his life, it's kind of early (and kind of one sided) to call it, but... he's just so perfect.
"Well, get used to it." Zoro shrugs, staring down at his paper.
"The drums sounded fine to me, what do you think Franky will do with bass?" Sanji questions instead of saying anything about his theories of Zoro maybe being the love of his life.
"Nh, no idea. Gonna have to get him down here and get him to listen to it and play through in order to work it out." Zoro shrugs.
"I could get him if you like, we could go through it now." Sanji offers cheerfully, he's determined to make this as normal as possible. After seeing just how much he owes Zoro for all of his progress, the last thing he wants is for Zoro to think that they can't work together.
"Okay." Zoro says, looking up at him slightly surprised.
Sanji goes to fetch Franky, and ends up bringing everyone, well except the lucky bastard that is Usopp of course. Chopper is a little horrified that they were listening to their recordings without him working on them first, but Nami overruled him as Zoro was following her rules and documenting their work by writing it down.
They settle into their usual places within the studio, somewhere that had felt so nerve wracking the first time now feels... well... feels like where he's meant to be. He watches as Zoro carefully slides his guitar on. Unlike usual though he seems uncomfortable and Sanji wonders anxiously if Zoro can't quite bring himself to be open with Sanji and play, not after he'd kissed him. Zoro shifts from foot to foot and adjusts his guitar as if he can't quite feel right. After a few long moments of this he huffs, takes the guitar off and disappears, to the puzzlement of everyone else in the room.
"Oi Zoro, where... okay... just leave..." Franky mutters as Zoro breezes out of the room and up the stairs. They all stay in their respective places in confusion for a little while and by the time that they're starting to really wonder if Zoro is coming back, the other man returns. Zoro's carrying one of Sanji's breakfast bar stools in one hand and bringing it down.
Zoro comes into the studio again and dumps the high bar stool right where he would usually stand on his side of their shared microphone. Wordlessly Zoro walks back to his guitar, retrieves it and eases himself onto the bar stool. He lodges one foot high up on the rungs of the bar stool and rests the dip in his guitar's body on his thigh, leaving the other to be supported by his arm.
"Comfortable now?" Robin teases from her place on the other side of the glass. Zoro rolls his eyes at her.
Sanji eyes Zoro, he's never ever seen the other man sit down like this and play. He's seen him sprawled across his bean bag and playing but only very occasionally, even then his feet and legs were moving. Zoro can't ever play still, he nearly fell over all the time when Nami taped his feet to the floor, he's a natural fidgeter. But now he's perched on the bar stool, still and careful as if he doesn't want to move. Sanji doesn't know why but it sets his teeth on edge.
They run through Sanji's song several times and it sounds better each time. Though each performance lacks the out of control panic and emotion that he felt when he originally wrote it, he can still remember what it felt like and he can still put that into his words. Interestingly though Zoro spends the entire time watching him when he plays, Zoro's playing is flawless as always but something about how he's holding himself seems off.
Several practices later Zoro's back suddenly snaps straight and he gives a startled yelp. Zoro inches forward off of the chair and pulls his phone out of his back pocket. He stays, half on and half off the chair as he silently reads his phone.
"Oi, what happened to the no phone in the studio rule?" Luffy pouts, pointing a drumstick at Zoro accusingly.
"Luffy's right, Zoro, put it away!" Nami orders him over the microphone from the control room to the side, her pretty eyes watching him intently, though Zoro doesn't really seem to be paying attention.
"I gotta go." He says instead, pulling his guitar off of his shoulder.
"What? Where to?" Franky asks in surprise, eyeing Zoro over his sunglasses.
"Work, the espresso machine is broken. I got to go." Zoro mutters and stands up, quickly taking his guitar off and fleeing from the room.
"They need a proper engineer in there to look at that thing, it's forever breaking." Franky grumbles, setting his bass in its stand and running fingers through his blue coiffed hair in irritation.
"Why don't you go and fix it for good Franky? You're good with machines!" Luffy exclaims, wide eyed with his apparently clever solution.
"Not those kind of machines, though if it keeps dragging Zoro back all the time like it does then I might just go take a look see just to see what's wrong with the damn thing." the mechanic nods wearily.
"I suppose that's the price of being an independent business though, there's no corporation to buy you new equipment, if you can't afford it you just repair and make do." Robin notes wisely.
"Yeah but when it breaks that often..."
Sanji tunes the debate about the merits of small business ownership out. He can't really hear it over his internal thoughts anyway. His mind is looping on two words over and over again.
Secret girlfriend. Secret girlfriend. Secret girlfriend.
Zoro was disappearing suddenly on an errand which no one could really keep him from. He would be out for an unspecified amount of time and no one would question it. Zoro was definitely seeing his girlfriend.
Sanji's heart aches and he doesn't resist his feet when they pull him out of the room and upstairs. Zoro is already gone, the other man wastes no time it seems. Sanji is already at the garage door before he manages to get a grip of himself.
What the fuck is he doing?
He can't just follow Zoro. For one thing Zoro would almost certainly notice him, for another it is none of his goddamn business if Zoro is indeed seeing his secret girlfriend. He wants Zoro so goddamn bad but stalking him is not a sensible or sane way to deal with that.
He releases his grip on the garage door and goes back into the house.
He makes his way into the kitchen and leans his head against the cool metal of the fridge door. He wants to know just who he lost Zoro to, just who was so special. Or indeed if they are special to Zoro, with the kinds of things he's saying about love right now Sanji is all turned about and uncertain about what Zoro feels for his girlfriend. But it's not his place to know. He gets a glass from the cupboard and fills it with water, he should get into the habit more of drinking after singing, it's just a good way to take care of his... voice...
His thoughts trail off as he stares at the keys on the opposite counter. They are Zoro's keys. He can tell because they're filled with keys to the coffee shop and the machines in it, it has Zoro's bottle opener and a green pom-pom on it that Robin apparently gave him with it. Sanji knows because he's teased Zoro before about having a mini-Zoro on his keychain.
Zoro has left without his keys, he won't be able to get back in the house without them.
Is it stalking if he's just trying to find the other man to return his keys to him? Perhaps Zoro left them there as an invitation for him to follow him? Perhaps Zoro wants him to come?
Or, perhaps Zoro just forgot his keys and wouldn't appreciate Sanji stalking him on that kind of shitty excuse.
...well.
Keys in hand Sanji is in his car before he can think better of it. He pulls out and onto the gravel driveway and gives the keys on his passenger seat one last glance. There's every possibility that he might not find Zoro, he doesn't know where his girlfriend lives or how long it takes to get there. Perhaps he ought to see it like fate; if he finds Zoro then he was meant to, if he doesn't then he wasn't.
He pulls off, turning right out of their driveway on instinct. He turns right at the next corner and then decides to take a narrower cut through to the side, it's dirt road here and Sanji might be imagining it but he thinks that he sees cycle tracks in the mud here and there.
He drives slowly, keeping an eye out for Zoro and his bike, driving in aimless directions simply hoping to come across the other man. After about twenty minutes of this fruitless driving frustration Sanji is ready to give up his stupid search and go home.
That's when he sees the bike.
Zoro's bike, metallic green and black ditched on the lawn by the wall of someone's house. Sanji pulls up and looks at it. It certainly looks like Zoro's bike but it could be someone else's...
He gets out of his car and shuts and locks it behind him. He walks towards the house. It's a reasonably sized house, two floors and looks perfectly ordinary. There's a garage off to the left and a garden off to the right as this house is right on the corner. He walks nervously to the front door, maybe he should just knock and give Zoro his keys back. What would Zoro say if he knew that he'd followed him? He certainly wouldn't be pleased.
But... a part of him just wants to see just who he got turned down for. He drops his hand and walks around the side of the building curiously peeking in windows, but he doesn't see anyone. He's about to turn back when he hears a pretty voice.
"So it's next month." She says from an upstairs window.
"I know, are you excited? I'm sure you'll do great." Zoro's voice floats down out of the open window, perking Sanji's ears up.
"I could just do without all the bullshit criticism you know? It makes me so angry, everyone judging me like that!" The woman says, her voice stressed and irritated.
Sanji rounds the building, they're talking from the floor above. Thankfully there's a tree nearby which, entirely ignoring his conscience and scruples, he climbs right up. He can see Zoro's back to the window and a woman on the other side, but with Zoro in the way he can't get a good look at the woman lucky enough to be with Zoro. He does manage to see Zoro wrap his arms lovingly around her and bury a kiss in her hair. He's murmuring softly to her and Sanji feels sick. He doesn't know why this was a good idea, seeing the one he wants with someone else.
"What are you stupid?!" The woman snarls and shoves Zoro away hard.
Sanji's jaw just drops. He can see her now and he instantly recognises her, with her curled dark hair and angry eyes. It's Baby, the singer who left them, the one who broke up with Zoro and the band by nearly smacking Zoro's face right off his skull on stage. Though evidently the break up wasn't permanent!
"Of course their opinion matters, you useless ass! It's them that decide how well the tour is received! They decide how well my career goes, or don't you care?!" She shouts, shoving him again. Zoro goes with it, letting her shove put him a few paces away from her. He holds up his hands defensively.
"Of course I care. It's just they don't get to see you for that long, they don't know how good you really are. I know, so don't let them get to you, they'll come around." Zoro says soothingly, making Sanji feel sick with jealousy.
"Well that would be a hell of a lot easier if you were with me like you were supposed to be. When are you going to ditch that stupid little band of yours and work with me again?" Baby demands with a glare.
Sanji gasps and his hackles rise. He can barely wrap his mind around the idea of Baby and Zoro still being together as that's such a mindfuckingly bad idea that he can scarcely think about it all at once. But well... if she makes Zoro happy then... he tries to bring himself to think that it's okay if Zoro is happy but he can't. He can't because a) it's not okay, Baby shouldn't be with Zoro and Zoro deserves so much better than her and b) he's not sure Zoro is happy with her.
"Please don't do this Baby, we've talked about this before and it never goes well. Let's just... not. Please?" Zoro pleads. The scowl stays on Baby's face and Sanji watches as the guitarist gently reaches for her, his hand ghosting over her arm.
"It's just stress about the show, come on let's just-" Zoro starts softly.
"Don't patronise me!" Baby hisses, snatching her arm away.
"Leave that fucking band of losers and get back where you belong, I'm done tolerating this shit! Especially since you let them get a new singer, like they could just replace me! You're so useless that you couldn't even make him quit when I ordered you to!" Baby snarls at him.
"I tried- but everyone likes him so much and he's really talented and-" Zoro apologises. Sanji's eyes are the size of saucers, she was the one who'd been driving Zoro's obsession to get rid of him? It explains why he was so hot and cold about it, how he seemed like he liked him at the time and that he didn't want him to go but kept trying to make him anyway. He was just following orders.
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! THEY CAN HAVE HIM! Just quit!" Baby shouts furiously, her eyes are blazing and even from Sanji's vantage point on the tree branch he can see that this isn't Amélie with her soft words, this is Baby and she means business.
"Baby..." Zoro says, quiet and pleading, his hands are halfway between them, half reaching for her but not quite making it, as if he doesn't know what reaching out and touching her will do.
"Don't! You leave them, you leave him too! Don't think I don't hear about the two of you. You're writing with him too? You're creating live with him after you swore you just couldn't do it anymore, when you tried to convince me that it wasn't me! Suddenly you're able to do it with him!" She hisses, her eyes both hurt and angry.
Sanji remembers being told that Zoro couldn't ever write and play and sing at once with her. A smug flash lights up the inside of Sanji's chest, maybe Zoro can do it with him because he's never broken Zoro's heart. He watches them and sees just how on edge Zoro looks; he's not surprised Zoro can't write with her, if he's always this tense around her then of course he couldn't.
"I can't-" Zoro starts, but no sooner have the words left Zoro's lips than Baby's hand snaps out lightning fast and smacks Zoro so hard that Sanji can feel the noise it makes reverberate in his chest. The blow is hard enough to stagger Zoro and bend him to the side, facing the window as it happens. Sanji should probably get the hell out of the way in case either of them sees him but he's simply too stunned to move. He's never seen or heard anyone get slapped that hard. In fact he can see that it was hard enough to split Zoro's lip.
Zoro has his eyes squeezed shut thank god and he watches in horror as the man works his jaw once and straightens up.
Sanji is stuck frozen to the branch, not knowing if he should do something or escape or even what. He's just there, staring. His brain is stuck on some kind of error, he can't quite process what he's seen. Not until Zoro's tongue comes out of his mouth and gingerly runs over his bleeding lip. For some reason it's that which kick starts Sanji's mind again.
How DARE she slap him?! Let alone that hard! It's almost as bad as the time he saw that video online! Well, maybe they're breaking up now. Good. Zoro's too good for her, crazy bitch. She's standing and looking at Zoro with crazed eyes and Zoro hasn't quite stood upright just yet. Slowly he does, his eyes shut until he's facing Baby and then he opens them.
"Don't do this." Zoro says so quietly that Sanji almost doesn't hear him.
"You don't get to tell me what to do. You said you can't leave but you mean you won't, don't you!" Baby snarls at him, her eyes burning with accusation.
Zoro is still and Sanji is begging inside for Zoro to react and leave, to storm out with anger at being attacked, to do something. But Zoro just stands there.
"Answer me!" She demands, snatching up a vase from the table threateningly, this time Zoro backs a little closer to the window.
"Please Baby, put that down, you'll be angry if you break it. Just... just calm down, I'm sorry." Zoro apologises, edging away from her a little more. Though what it is that Zoro possibly has to apologise for Sanji has no idea.
"Tell me you'll leave that useless band and join mine!" Baby shouts, her rage and the hefty crystal vase in her hand frightening Sanji. Sanji's wide eyes flick to Zoro, what's he going to say?
"No." The word is so quiet as it leaves the guitarist's mouth but he may as well have screamed it for the affect it had.
Baby screams like a wildcat and hurls the vase at Zoro's head. The other man only ducks just in time and finds himself covered in a rain of broken glass as the vase explodes against the wall.
Sanji leaps from the tree and lands on the ground. Fuck, this is bad, this is really bad. He should do something, he has to! Zoro could get seriously hurt if he doesn't! But what? Should he call the cops, should he just go up there and defend Zoro himself?
The window above Sanji slams shut as Zoro is thrown against it. He can't hear what Zoro is saying but he can make out that the man is apologising. It evidently doesn't work as he sees Baby's fist fly. Zoro's head snaps to the side as it connects and Sanji's heart seizes.
Blood spatters across the inside of the window, brilliant ruby red as the light from inside shines through it. He stares up, mouth agape, just taking in the expression on Zoro's face. The other man is hurt, physically obviously but clearly emotionally too. Baby is screaming something at him, she hauls him inwards and slams him back against the window again, making it rattle as she yells in his face.
Zoro shakes his head and says something, his left hand presses against the window, smearing in his own blood.
Sanji covers his mouth, not certain if he's going to scream or not.
She's hurting him, she's really hurting him! What... what should he do? If he tries to go in there and stop them then Zoro will know that he followed him and well... he knew Zoro wouldn't be happy before if he'd caught him sneaking around after him. He can see Zoro being even less pleased now, no doubt the other man doesn't want him knowing about this.
Baby's hand snags in the front of Zoro's shirt and she puts all her weight into flinging him away, a crash comes from inside the house and Sanji has no idea what Zoro just hit but it sounds hard and painful. He needs to stop this!
"Now look what you made me do!" Baby shouts from inside, loud enough to be heard through the glass.
Sanji panics and reaches into his pocket for his phone, should he call the cops? Should he climb back up and take a picture as evidence for them? But what if they don't get here in time and she seriously damages Zoro? All it would take would be one serious injury to Zoro's hands and his music career could be over!
He should go in there!
He shoves his phone away again and dashes to the front of the house. He nearly trips over Zoro's bike on his way around. He catches his balance and stares down at Zoro's beloved bike. Despite all its scrapes Zoro would be upset to lose it and if he drags Zoro out of here without it then who knows what Baby will do to it to get revenge?
He picks up the bike and wheels it quickly to his car, thankful for one of the first times ever that it's actually closer to a flatbed truck than it is a car. He throws the bike in the back and runs back to the house. Something else smashes inside and Sanji bangs his fists on the door in desperation. No one comes and Sanji can still hear shouting and smashing inside.
He fists his hands into his hair and freaks out more. Should he kick the door in or something? What's... what's he supposed to do in this situation?
There's a slam from around the back of the building where Sanji was before and a rustling thump. Sanji rushes to the corner of the building to see Zoro drop from the tree by one arm. Zoro leapt out of the window to escape!
"GET BACK HERE, YOU USELESS BASTARD!" Baby screams after him as Zoro sprints off across her lawn and off into the night.
"Fuck!" Sanji curses and hauls ass back to his car, throws himself inside and speeds off in his direction. It doesn't take him long to find Zoro walking by the side of the road.
Zoro is... an utter mess. In the glare of Sanji's headlights he can see that there's a huge amount of blood streaming down from Zoro's nose and mouth, he looks like something from a horror movie.
"Get in the car." He says, leaning over and throwing the door open. Zoro looks surprised to see him for a second but then he shakes his head.
"I'm fine, it's nothing." Zoro says thickly, blood clotting his speech.
"If this is nothing I'd hate to see what something is. Get in, I've got your bike." Sanji orders sternly.
The other man hesitates a little more but edges towards the door, he leans around the edge and peers into Sanji's pick up warily.
"I don't want to bleed on everything. Just give me my bike and I'll get home." He says quietly.
"Goddamnit Zoro, you're hurt, I don't care about my upholstery now get IN!" He snaps hysterically. This time Zoro does.
He climbs in and immediately pulls his sleeves up over his hands and presses them into his bleeding face. The collar of Zoro's big soft woollen top is ripped up and damaged. Sanji would guess that it was either from Baby holding him by it as she punched him in the face or perhaps Zoro ripped it in his escape. Holy shit that actually happened, how was that real? Zoro gingerly presses it to his face before twisting to buckle himself in. Sanji pulls away and tries to focus on driving. Sanji doesn't really need to tell Zoro that he saw, it's pretty obvious after all.
"Please don't tell anyone." Zoro's voice is oh so quiet yet it rips through Sanji like a knife, leaving his nerves raw and fizzing.
He looks over at Zoro in the dim light of the cab and the street lights above. There is still blood running freely from his nose and a nasty looking split on his lip which seems to be swelling shut. His eyes are dark and desperate and it makes Sanji's insides ache to see him, though in a thoroughly unpleasant way and nothing like the pleasant ache of arousal he usually got from Zoro. No, this was the ache of seeing someone you love hurt and knowing you can't undo it.
"Please." Zoro repeats begging him now.
"Is it always like that? This... This isn't the first time is it?" He asks, already knowing the answer to the second question.
"It's none of your business cook! Just swear you won't tell anyone!" he snaps before cursing and pressing his sleeve to his face again as another stream of blood floods from his nose.
"Fuck it, no. I'm cashing in my question, the one where you have to give a straight answer, no matter what remember? Now answer me, how often does this happen?" Sanji demands, pulling over by the side of the road, there's no way he can focus on this and drive at the same time.
"What?" Zoro says, muffled through his sleeve.
"You heard me. Talk. You're a man of your word aren't you?" Sanji says, brokering no compromise here.
Zoro's eyes widen at Sanji's merciless goading. His expression turns to a scowl and he pulls his sleeve away from his face, a trickle of blood comes from one half of his nose and the rest of the lower half of his face is stained in red as Zoro glares at him. It's a truly horrifying look but he won't back down. Zoro seems to sense this and breaks eye contact with him, turning properly to face forward and leaning back in his seat with a pained groan and closing his eyes.
"Well?" Sanji prompts.
"I'm thinking about it! I don't exactly schedule this shit in you know! I don't look at my calendar and see it's the fifteenth and go 'oh, it's my bi-weekly appointment to get the shit kicked out of me by my girlfriend!' it fucking varies okay?!" Zoro snarls back at him with a glare.
"So give me a rough idea, talk me through it." Sanji says, almost pleading.
Zoro shuffles in his seat and glances out of the window as if he wants to be anywhere but in this car having this conversation.
"Well, obviously she's not here all of the time, she's off touring a lot. So... there's that. Look, she's okay sometimes, if I don't make her angry then-" Zoro starts but Sanji can't help but cut in.
"Wait- what?! This isn't your fault Zoro, this isn't because you pissed her off, that's not okay! You piss me off daily but I've never felt the need to break your face, that's not alright!" He yelps in horror.
"That's different." Zoro mutters but helpfully doesn't explain how.
A horrifying idea occurs to Sanji.
"Those... those bar fights you get in and the bike accidents. They're..." He trails off wide eyed.
"I've never been in a bar fight in my life." Zoro mumbles quietly and doesn't look at Sanji.
Sanji's heart does this awful stutter stop thing and he remembers cleaning Zoro up, patching him up and wiping the blood off of him. Some random bastard in a bar hadn't done that to Zoro, Baby had.
"How long has this been going on? How long have you two been together again?" He asks quietly.
"We never broke up. Well- no, not permanently. Off and on I've been with her five years." The other man answers guiltily. Sanji's mind reels, after everything Baby did Zoro never stopped seeing her. He wasn't kidding when he told him that the others hated his secret girlfriend and wouldn't approve- and they didn't know about this!
"And how long has she been punching you in the face when she gets mad?" He asks, not wanting to know the answer but suddenly realising that the vicious slap across the face that he'd found so amusing the very first time he saw it is now anything but.
Zoro shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
"If you don't talk I'm definitely not going to promise to keep my mouth shut." Sanji says flatly, and it's not a threat, it's a promise.
"Only regularly, I mean... only really for... the last two or... three years." The guitarist flushes clearly uncomfortable.
Sanji's mind reels. That means... That means it was happening whilst she was still with the band, it means it happened in their house.
"What do you mean 'only really'? When was the first time?" He asks.
"When I was sixteen. But that was different, she was drunk and she felt horrible as soon as she realised what she'd done. Look, she's been through a lot and it's complicated so just... leave it alone, we're fine, it's not a problem." Zoro argues. Sanji feels like he's swallowed an eel, his stomach is doing something cold and slithery and he thinks he might throw up.
"Why haven't you told anyone?" He asks numbly.
"Because." Zoro sniffs, rubbing more of the blood off of his nose gingerly - it seems to have stopped streaming so much now.
"Because I don't want their pity and... because it's my fault." Zoro says quietly, his fingers pulling anxiously at the hem of his sleeves and unravelling the thread there.
"How could this possibly be your fault, Zoro?" Sanji questions through gritted teeth. Baby has really gotten her claws into Zoro's mind if he thinks that any of this could possibly be his fault in any way at all.
"You wouldn't understand." Zoro answers instead pulling a thread out from his sleeve, Sanji watches as it slowly unravels the fabric around Zoro's hand, the woollen thread is sodden with blood.
"Try me." he says in a raw voice.
"It's... it's my fault because I once told her she could." the other man says quietly, making Sanji's mind reel numbly. What?
"The first time it happened she was drunk and so upset, her father had come to see her and scared the life out of her. He used to smack her around as a kid, that's how I got that big scar on my chest, defending her from him, at least until he went to prison anyway. She was just so freaked out after that she ended up getting trashed and she lost control. When she realised what she'd done afterwards she tried to kill herself, saying that she was turning into him and she didn't want to live like that." Zoro explains, pain showing up on his face as clear as day.
"I couldn't lose her Sanji, not like that. I told her that I didn't matter, that if it was what she needed then it was okay. I thought... shit, I thought that because I had about a foot and several stone of weight on her that there was only so much damage she could do. I didn't think she'd..." Zoro trails off with a hollow laugh and gestures to the bloody mess that is his current appearance.
"Apparently practice is a great teacher." Zoro adds bitterly, scowling at his own feet.
Sanji reaches out and grabs Zoro's shoulder, he lets his grip become a little more gentle when he feels Zoro flinch under his touch, he must still be jumpy from his encounter with Baby.
"So... tell her that it's not okay. Because, newsflash: this isn't okay." He says softly, Zoro scowls and bats his hand away.
"Gee, like I hadn't thought of that already. I told her that two years ago and she picked up a mic stand and fractured my collar bone with it." Zoro argues back, his eyes angry.
"It doesn't matter what you once said Zoro, this isn't okay and it's still not your fault, no matter what you said. I mean, if I told you that you could kill me and you did it, it'd still be murder no matter what I said, right?" He reasons, looking intently at Zoro.
"That's different." The other man mumbles, slouching in his seat and unravelling the hem of his sleeve even more. Again, he helpfully does not go into how it's different.
Sanji rubs his palms into his face and tries to scoop his scattered thoughts together.
"Can I ask you something else?" He says after a moment or two. He combs his hands through his own hair, trying to calm himself down a little with the action.
"I don't have to answer." Zoro mutters, yanking at the thread in his sleeve.
"Why are you with her?" Sanji asks earnestly. He looks at the surprised Zoro and waits for his answer. He wasn't going to ask why Zoro hasn't left her because Zoro would no doubt be expecting that and probably have some great distracting rant in his head, certainly well practiced from what he probably tells himself over and over.
"I..." Zoro stumbles, staring at him wide eyed with surprise.
"I care about her." He answers finally, his dark eyes not quite meeting Sanji's.
Sanji bites his lip and thinks that Zoro doesn't feel for her what he perhaps used to years ago. He certainly doesn't trust her like he once must have, it would be hard to when you don't know if any given conversation is going to end up with something bleeding or broken. He suddenly understands Zoro's despair at the idea that he might never meet his soul mate, that he'll just be stuck where he is forever. Zoro can't see any way out and he's just... surviving. That's no way to live.
"Isn't this supposed to be the point where you tell me to leave her then? Where you tell me that it'll be okay and that you don't think any less of me and blah, blah, blah?" Zoro accuses hotly, his scowl sharp.
Sanji's heart aches and his tilts his head and looks at Zoro, really looks at him. No one else knows this about him, everyone else thinks he's at work or out at a bar or off with other friends whenever this happens. Zoro's made it so that no one asks where he is and he's got so good at covering his injuries up that no one even knows they should be asking most of the time. Zoro's so good at lying, something that had set Sanji's teeth on edge and clearly this was why it had, he's so practiced that no one will ever guess. Zoro's made it so that he thought no one would or could ever find him.
Sanji doesn't know if Zoro wanted to be found or not. He clearly isn't happy with the fact that Sanji knows what happens, he can see the flush of embarrassed shame on his cheeks, even through the blood. The way Zoro's lashing out verbally, trying to drive Sanji away or into saying something terrible, something that Zoro can hold up and say 'this is why you can't help'
But if Zoro didn't want out he never would have got in the car, he never would have let this conversation happen and he certainly wouldn't have answered Sanji's questions. Zoro needs his help, wants it to he just... can't bring himself to think about it, let alone ask.
"You know this isn't right and I'm not going to insult your intelligence by implying that you hadn't thought of just leaving her before now." Sanji says shaking his head.
"Seeing as you've not left her I'm assuming that you have a reason." He adds quietly. Zoro looks away and stares off into the night with a scowl.
"Fuck." Zoro curses under his breath and presses the heels of his palms into his forehead and curls up in on himself. Sanji gets the impression that this conversation isn't going how Zoro thought it might.
"I can't just... she'd kill herself if I left, she's told me a million times. I can't live with myself if she..." Zoro says, quiet and broken.
"Zoro..." Sanji breathes and reaches over, his fingers sliding into Zoro's hair. Oh god, he still loves him, of course he does. Zoro's hurting right now and all Sanji wants to do is to pick him up and protect him and it's so fucking bizarre because Zoro is usually the one that knows what's going on, he's the one that everyone looks to, Zoro is the last person that Sanji would usually thinks needs looking after. Except for... well... suddenly all the sleeplessness and anxious behaviour is making sense.
"Fuck, stop that. I know you think I'm weak now but I'm not a fucking cat." Zoro snaps after a few seconds, shaking Sanji's hand off. Sanji obligingly pulls back, if Zoro doesn't want him to touch him right now then he can respect that.
"I don't think you're weak. I don't... I don't know if I could deal with this in your place, I'm bad enough at saying no to women as it is." Sanji admits honestly. Zoro looks up at him from his hands and a weak smile tugs at the corner of Zoro's mouth.
"Yeah, you're right. You're a mess." Zoro teases weakly, seeming a little more like the Zoro that Sanji knows.
"Oh, I know. A complete wreck, just like you say." he agrees with a small smile in return. He catches sight of some blood matted in Zoro's green hair and the small flame of levity is snuffed out inside Sanji's mind.
"Look... I'll make you a deal. I won't tell the others, if only because I don't think it'd actually help and also you'd never speak to me ever again." he sighs, scratching the back of his neck.
"True." Zoro nods, looking a little heartbreakingly hopeful.
"But, I'll only agree to that if you promise that you'll talk to me about this. That you'll let me help you, that you'll come to me and at least let me try to talk you out of ever going back to her." He offers. Zoro squints at him distrustfully.
"It won't work." Zoro answers flatly.
"That's my problem. Do we have a deal?" Sanji asks sternly.
"Deal." Zoro shrugs.
Sanji relaxes a little.
"Okay then. Right... let's get you to a doctor." He says, turning his car back on and indicating to pull out.
"Whoa, no way. No doctors. Not whilst I'm still conscious, which I obviously am. I can patch this up on my own, I've had much worse." Zoro yelps, grabbing the wheel and stopping Sanji from pulling out. Sanji looks over at Zoro's wide panicked eyes and his heart throbs painfully.
"Fine." He mutters, knowing a losing battle when he sees one and pulling out to head back home. Zoro makes them stop part of the way home so that he can ditch his ruined black sweater into some business' dumpster, leaving him in just a black t-shirt under there. There's a raw scrape on his elbow that Zoro doesn't seem to have noticed, it's not bleeding and really not all that bad. It's the kind of stupid scrape that Sanji wouldn't even think twice about if he did it to himself. He doesn't know if it's just the last straw, the final thing that pushes it past his barrier to handle shit today but just the sight of that scrape makes Sanji want to pull the car over and yank Zoro close into him and never let him go. He manages to restrain himself from acting that out as he drives home, but only just.
Zoro refuses to go in the front door and instead declares that he's going to climb up the tree that leads to their hallway window, apparently that's precisely where he sneaks in and out of. He rushes up the stairs, thankfully running into no one else and makes it to their hallway window just as Zoro's climbing through it.
He and Zoro wordlessly go to their shared bathroom, Zoro stopping to retrieve one of his secret ice packs from his secret freezer. He throws it in the bath when they get in there and opens up the cupboard, taking in his expansive medical supplies. Sanji knows now why he needs all of them and he really wishes that he didn't.
Zoro turns on the hot tap and yanks his t shirt off and bends down to wash his face clear of blood. Sanji gasps, all up the side of Zoro's ribs is a hideously painful looking fresh bruise, or at least a day or so old. The whole thing is easily bigger than Sanji's spread palm. His mind flashes to how awkwardly Zoro was holding his guitar this morning and he imagines Zoro's guitar on him and sees that the bruise is right where the instrument would usually rest. No wonder he was so stiff then.
"Oh Zoro..." He breathes, his hand not quite touching as he can see how painful it must be.
The rest of Zoro's back is littered with fresh red marks, things that will becomes bruises and some that are already heading that way. There's a straight one that runs under Zoro's shoulder blades and Sanji thinks that it looks like the edge of a table, it would explain the crash he heard earlier. There's a set of shallow half moon scratches on Zoro's tricep and Sanji's hand does ghost the edges of that.
"You're hurt." he says stupidly.
"Really?" Zoro grumbles flatly and leans down to wash his face off. Sanji ignores him and pulls anti-septic and cotton wool out of the cupboard and sets about disinfecting Zoro's scratches, there's even black nail varnish flecks in some of them.
Zoro rubs that witch hazel stuff for bruises into all of his new and old marks, the ones that he can't quite reach Sanji does in silence, working over Zoro's damaged body with cautious and gentle fingers. It's funny really, he's never ever wanted to hurt a woman in his life but right now he wouldn't shed a single fucking tear if a truck ploughed into Baby's house and killed her.
"You've got glass in your hair, come here." Sanji says quietly, pulling the shower head off of the wall and turning it on.
"You don't have to do this, I'm more than used to-" Zoro protests weakly.
"You're not dealing with this on your own any more, that was our deal, now get your ass over here." Sanji orders, pointing to the edge of the bath.
"Asshole." Zoro mutters, but it lacks its usual venom. Zoro kneels at the edge of the tub and presses his ice pack to his face whilst Sanji busies himself with washing all of the shards of smashed glass vase out of Zoro's green hair. There's blood in there too from where a few pieces scratched him, it's nothing serious and head wounds always bleed like hell anyway. Slightly disoriented Sanji stares at the red washing down the drain, strangely accompanied by a hint of green in the water that must be Zoro's hair dye.
Fuck.
He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to get a grip on reality as he turns the shower off. He drops a clean towel on Zoro's head and lets the other man dry himself off. Zoro sits on the edge of the bath and does so, eventually appearing from under his towel as he wraps it around the back of his neck, the gold of his earrings shining bright against the black towel.
Zoro's face looks a lot better with the blood washed off, there's only a red mark across his nose and cheek, which will probably fade, and a split in his lip to give any real indication of what had happened. Sanji is sat on the floor looking at him and still reeling from the sudden turn of events.
"I bet you're glad I said no when you kissed me. You dodged a bullet there, avoiding all of this." Zoro says quietly, looking off to the side. Sanji looks at Zoro, bruised and hurt but still trying to be funny. Failing, but trying.
"No. I wish you'd said yes, but said no to her a long time ago. I wish this wasn't happening to you at all." He answers instead. Zoro looks at him in surprise before looking away again, a hint of a flush on his cheeks.
"You're stuck with me now, I'm not leaving you to deal with any of this on your own." He says, gently kicking Zoro's ankle to get his attention.
"I'm not going anywhere." He reiterates.
After a moment or two Zoro nods silently.