Thank you for your kind reviews. I enjoy writing flashbacks, because it offers me to tell more about Clarisse and Rupert's relationship. Even parts that are not needed for the main plot. But if they annoy you let me know!

Chapter 9

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

***

The sun burned mercilessly down on them. It was the hottest day the annual Genovian parade had ever seen. Although she wore a hat and had used sunscreen to avoid getting sunburned, she felt her cheeks redden under the sun. The people of Genovia were sweating just as much but at least they could dress less official than she had to.

The carriage stopped at the gates of the old Cathedral and Rupert was the first one to climb out of it. When she took his extended hand she felt that he was sweating even more in his high-collared uniform than she did.

"A Kingdom for a bathtub filled with cool water," she whispered exhaustedly into his ear.

"Add a bottle of ice-tea and iced cups and the deal is done."

"Alright."

"If you don't mind I'll reduce the number of our watchdogs for that occasion!"

The carriage drove away and Rupert, still holding Clarisse's hand, stepped forward to wave at the waiting crowd. The police and Palace Security had increased the number of guards and also made sure the fences that separated the crowd from the Royal Family were higher than usual and left a bigger gap between the church and the street.

Behind Clarisse and Rupert another carriage arrived and stopped in front at the gates. The princes Philippe and Pierre as well as Pierre's fiancée and her father climbed out and joined them. Always close to the family stood a troop if black-dressed men who were observing the whole scenery with nervous attention. The annual parade and the celebration service of Genovia's Independence Day always aroused the interest of many people and the media from all over the world, but the official engagement of the Crown Prince and his future bride had brought even more attention to Genovia than expected.

People's ovations increased when Pierre showed off his young, beautiful fiancée. She waved and smiled at the crowd and seemed more pleased than embarrassed with the attention the men and women down on the street paid her.

However, not everyone who paid attention to the Royal Family showed a friendly interest. Lately, a number of threatening letters had reached the Palace and they explicitly announced the death of one member of Genovia's first family. The colourful parade and the joyful atmosphere couldn't hide the underlying tension.

Against the wish of Parliament Rupert had refused to call off the parade, and the rest of the family had agreed and had insisted on business as usual.

Security was tight and new men had been hired but the expansion of the security team had happened only a few weeks ago and plans had been changed over and over again, because the King didn't agree with the original idea to stay away from the people after the parade. In the end, the Prime Minister succeeded and the announced the walk about had been cancelled.

But the King weren't the King if he hadn't had the very last word on it. The idea had been spinning in his head the whole night and in the morning and he knew he could count on Clarisse.

Joe sensed trouble.

When he saw the King and his wife nod at each other he knew something was wrong. When they actually started to move into the wrong direction the conclusion was easily drawn. He cursed silently and could see how the nerves of his colleagues became visibly strained when they realized that the Royal couple obviously had changed their plans and instead of going into the church to meet the Archbishop went to the people on the street. He had been Prince Pierre's bodyguard only for a few months, but he had seen right through the system and he certainly had gotten an idea about the King's stubbornness when it came to his public appearances.

The gathered crowd on the street greeted the Royal Family with growing enthusiasm. Behind their parents Pierre, Philippe as well as Francesca and her father followed with a hectically discussing group of security men on their heels.

"Did you know any of this?" he hissed into Francesca's ear. She blushed and turned her head: "No, I swear, Joe."

"Fantastic!" he grumped and roamed the crowd nervously. The King and the Queen had already started to talk to people behind the fences. Everybody was smiling and chit chatting. People made photos, pushed their babies forward to get the Queen's attention. She received flowers and stuffed toys and Rupert as well as some of the security men had to carry them for her. He felt panic rising in him. His instinct told him something was wrong. The little bell in his head rang louder and louder by the second.

God knew he was no trained bodyguard, but twenty years of military service had taught him something about danger. He could smell it here like he had smelled shortly a crump thrown by terrorist from the ETA that had shattered his right knee, effectively ending his police service for him.
He pulled a new, younger colleague whose name he wasn't familiar with at his sleeve and placed with wordlessly behind Francesca and her father. "You stay with them!"

While the King and his wife continued their walk-about in a slow pace he did his best to surround the small group to get closer to the King. The tension in him rose steadily. And then he saw it. The knife. He knew it was there before it mysteriously rose out of the crowd in front of the King and his wife. The blade glinted in the sunlight and his scream mixed with the screams of the people who had seen the weapon as well. The King turned his head and his eyes widened in shock when he realized he wasn't the target. The screaming young man who had thrown himself against the fence aimed the knife at the queen.

Joe pushed Pierre and Philippe aside, his eyes focused on the beautiful face of Clarisse Renaldi who stared at the man but seemed paralysed and didn't move. Through the rising noise he bellowed orders at his colleagues who tried to get through the people who were gathering on the street after more of the fences had fallen on the street.

"Clarisse!"

Before Joe reached the Queen, Rupert had already grabbed her. He covered her with his body and the knife destined for Clarisse cut into his lower arm. The blood immediately spread over his uniform. The Queen screamed when she realized what had happened, his blood running over her hand. Rupert's face became a grimace of pain and a small scream of pain escaped his throat. Trying desperately to get a hold on him Clarisse sank to the ground protectively bending over him…

***

The fingertips of her fingers were touching her nose while she listened to the frantic and loud exchange of words around her. The Parliament session had started chaotically, had continued chaotically and had become a complete mess after Motaz had announced the result of the DNA test. She had known what the result would be the second the man had agreed on the test. She had prepared herself for the moment Parliament would install him as the new old sovereign of Genovia ever since and now that it could actually happen she could at least appear to be calm and rational. Deep down inside she wanted to turn her head and search for Joseph to make eye contact with him. His dark, calm eyes would reassure her and give her strength, but she couldn't allow herself to do so. Until now she had tried to keep Joseph out of the official political discussion. She had tried to make sure her personal interests wouldn't appear to be stronger than her wish to serve her country. Did it hurt him? It did for sure. Did he understand it? He had told her so.

"Gentlemen!" Again Motaz used his hammer to force the members of Parliament into silence. The chaotic atmosphere in the room was annoying him. The only one who benefited from the disaster was the man who stood relaxed and self-confident in the middle of the room and simply waited for something to happen.

"Gentlemen, silence!" Motaz yelled again and slowly the hectic discussion died out. "As I see it, we have a clear result of the DNA test. According to it, you, Sir, are Christian Eric Jerome Rupert Renaldi, the former King of Genovia."

Clarisse didn't move. She knew people's eyes were on her, but she refused to give them any response. What she needed was time and she could only hope Sebastian would help her buying it.

Behind the members of Parliament the rest of the family waited, almost motionless, for a solution to the confusing situation. They had talked about it over and over again and had decided it was best if no one showed a reaction. The demonstration of strength and stability was all they could offer to support Clarisse. They all had all known the result before Motaz had announced it.

Mia clutched Helen's hand. Her face was pale but all in all she was composed. Joseph wore his usual poker face. It wasn't the first time his new position as consort of the Queen annoyed him. He had lost the power he had had as Head of Security. So far he had been treated as Duke of Pyrus, but the second the man down there claimed his position as King Rupert his own position in the Palace threatened to fade.

What would happen, if Rupert not only became King again but also wanted his rightful place as her husband back? So far he and Clarisse had avoided the subject altogether and he feared the outcome of such a discussion, but they had to face it, no matter how hard she ignored it.

"May I speak?" the man in the uniform asked politely and Sebastian nodded.

"As far as I am concerned, all the doubts about my true identity have been eliminated. Again I want to apologize for the confusion and the misunderstandings I created, but my health didn't allow me to act in any other way. I know I hurt my family – especially my wife – and my beloved country with my behaviour, but please remember I only came back, because now I'll be able to stay. I promise I'll make it up to my country and my family." He made a pause.

"I wish you would see how wrong all this is," Frankie whispered to Pierre who sat next to her and Joseph.

"He'll be a good King. He was a good King before he had to leave and once people allow him again to guide them, all will right again," Pierre returned without looking at her.

"You live a dream, Pierre. Your father is dead. We aren't children anymore… one day you'll have to accept that."

"I want to make a motion, Prime Minister."

Motaz focused the man and nodded – again. He was reluctant, because he knew what would follow but the matter was out of his hands right now.

"Go ahead, please," he said with a small gesture and glanced the Queen who still sat back in her chair and observed the man down in the arena as she used to call it.

"I want to bring forward the motion of installing me back as King of Genovia without prejudicing Queen Clarisse's constitutional rights as Head of the State. She should have the same legal rights as a monarch as I have. With this motion I refer to the precedent in our constitution Parliament dismissed in 1869 after King Chevalier demanded his throne back after he was declared dead mistakenly after a battle in the South of France."

"I see… the law you refer to, as ancient as it is, is still… kind of valid," Motaz said seriously.

The man made a bow and looked at Clarisse: "Will you support my motion, Madam?"

Clarisse rose from her chair and cleared her throat: "Our constitution experienced some dramatic changes over the last 150 years. I'm not sure the law you refer to is still working in the 21st century. I motion to install a commission of experts to analyse the situation."

"My legal advice has already done so. Lady DeLesseps…," he pointed at Francesca, "Lady DeLesseps already questioned me about the law and thanks to her expertise I'm sure we can say how valid the law is – even if we live in the 21st century. Milady?"

Francesca reluctantly rose from her seat: "Well, since it doesn't happen every year or decade that a dead King comes back from the dead. Therefore, I agree with Her Majesty that the matter should be analysed by experts. The precedent from 1869 appears rather ancient and out of the real world, so to speak, to be a real matter in all this."

Motaz nodded. "I can only agree with this. So who supports the Queen's motion?"

"Aye."

"Aye…"

Several hands raised in the air and Motaz counted them. "That's the majority," Motaz said clearly relieved. "I think that's the decision. We'll install a commission of experts that will hopefully bring some reasonable and sensible solution for this problem."

Clarisse took a deep breath and sank back into her chair. She turned her head and allowed herself a soft smile into Joseph's direction. He returned her smile that remained unnoticed through the renewed discussion between the members of Parliament.

Motaz was about to use his hammer again to close the session as the King cleared his throat. "Excuse me but…"

"Yes."

"I think you misunderstood something… no matter if you denounce my motion or not. I'm still Christian Eric Jerome Rupert Renaldi. You can take away my rightful position. You can even separate me from my wife but you can't take my birth rights away from me and one of them is this Palace."

"Excuse me?" Clarisse asked in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The Palace doesn't belong to the State. Just as the Winter Palace, it belongs to the Renaldi family. So far my wife took care of the grounds and the buildings but I'm back and no matter how long you'll deny me the crown you can't deny me my private possession."

Motaz and Clarisse exchanged a glance and Motaz cleared his throat. "I see… so you want to throw out her Majesty and the rest of the family to secure your claim on this building? But I'm sure you're aware of the public function of this Palace as heart of Genovia."

"I'm very much aware of it. All I want is the right to live under my own roof – with my family."

Clarisse bit her lips and thought for a moment. She didn't expect this but the more she thought about it the more she realized what could happen if she didn't play along. The last thing she needed was to be responsible for even more destabilizing decisions in her reign. She drew a deep breath and finally said: "Prime Minister, I have an idea."

"Your Majesty."

"My offer is to grant you the whole west wing of the palace until the commission has decided on the matter. This part of the Palace was completely renovated just some weeks ago."

"The west wing is pretty far away from the official state rooms and offices."

"That's my offer. Take it or leave it." Her voice was stern cold as steel. For some seconds the tension rose until it was almost unbearable. Then he gave in. "Anything you wish. But…"

"Yes?"

"We have talked enough about laws and constitution but there's still one subject we haven't touched so far. Our marriage."

Someone in the corner of the room cleared his throat and rose from his seat. Heads turned and the man made a meaningful pause before he said: "Since this certain subject falls into my expertise as the representative of the holy church I would like to give a statement on the matter."

***

"Sometimes I really don't understand you, Rupert," Clarisse said absentmindedly as she added another piece of wood to the fire.

"Why?" he asked and refilled her glass with red wine.

"You can't tell me, the invitation of Henry DeLesseps and his daughter was just an act of compassion. I know you better." Satisfied with the growth of the fire she sat back, turned and took her glass from the table before she turned her back on Rupert and concentrated on the flames in the fireplace. "I can't believe it's still so cold outside… almost April and the snow just doesn't vanish."

Her lame chit chat didn't have any relaxing effect on their conversation. He noticed with rising frustration that Clarisse didn't have the intention to bring their relationship back to normal. She behaved as always. Polite and full of poise. But he missed her warmth, her unconditional moral support that used to be a comforting smile or a tight hug. Since Paris she had hidden herself behind a transparent wall of ice. No touch, no smile, just professional politeness and the fact that they had to work in some way. For their boys and their country. "Don't you think that Pierre and Francesca get along rather well?"

"They are teenagers… don't you think it's a little odd if you start playing matchmaker?"

"I just want to make sure our son won't get strange ideas… he's running to the church a little too much these days."

She sipped from her wine before she faced him again. The light of the fire spread around the otherwise dark room and created strange shadows on her hair. He gave her a smile and raised his glass in a silent toast hoping to break the ice.

"The girl has just lost her mother… you could show a little more decency," she said coldly and his smile froze.

"I'm not a matchmaker and I'm not trying to pick a bride for my son at her cost, if it's that you want to tell me!"

"Good to know."

"You could have said no when I asked you to become my wife."

"And destroy the deal my family made with you… my father enjoyed the privileges he benefited from as the father-in-law of the King far too much… he once said it compensated the lack of attention the government paid him as a war hero."

He heard the bitterness in her voice and regretted his choice of words. He knew of the pressure her family had put on her years before he had finally asked her to marry him. The lack of money and title in the family had been the motivation for her family to push her into Genovia's highest circles at all cost and he had seen the opportunity to find the perfect woman for him – and his country. He owed her so much and he had always wanted to show her how much he appreciated and even loved her. She was the mother of his sons and the one person he felt closest to in life but he had hurt her deeply and now she was slipping away from him.

"I never treated you that way… you've never just been some kind of prey to me and you know it."

"I thought so, yes."

Again, she turned her face away and stared into the flames. Sometimes he wished he didn't know her so well. Most men would simply say women were stupid and selfish and just liked to make a man's life miserable. Fact was that he knew her life was miserable. That's why he had invited DeLesseps and his daughter. That's why he had decided to let go and offer her what she denied herself and yet she didn't take his silent offer. She refused to accept the olive branch he let dangle in front of her nose…

"And now? Will we live like this forever? I don't want to live like that and I can't!"

"Well, I guess we have a problem then."

"You know it's in our hands to arrange our life as we want to," he said and rose from his place on the couch to join her on the floor.

"You can arrange for anything you want… but I have two children around who might not agree with you on this."

"Pierre studies in Eton and Philippe is busy with school as well… soon both won't be here anymore."

"Thanks for reminding me."

"Clarisse… Look…" He breathed in deeply thinking about how to find the right words. This woman had a tendency to take things with a pinch of salt. "Look, you can have that baby… anything that makes you happy. Anything that keeps us together."

He had started drawing patterns on her back and felt her stiffen. Her mouth opened in pure disbelief and then she swallowed and rested her forehead on her knees.

"I can't believe you're even suggesting…" Her voice trailed off and realization of what he was referring to dawned on her. She looked up and shook her head. As often when she was angry or frustrated her fingers ran through her hair while she tried to collect her thoughts. When she faced him again he could see the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. Her tone of voice sounded defeated somehow and yet he could hear the anger inside her building up.

"That's why you invited Henry, don't you… his wife is dead so why not cast him as Clarisse's new lover… at least I would be busy that way!"

"You know that's not true!"

She rose from her place on the floor but he grabbed her wrists and pulled her back down on her knees. When they were finally face to face he pulled her to him and hissed between clenched teeth: "Wasn't a certain Lord the reason it took you so long to think about my proposal? Wasn't he the reason for all the anger you lashed out on me when I dared to offer you a whole country and a privileged position?"

"A privileged position? As womb of the nation?!" she yelled and fought him to get free but he didn't let her go. Their equal frustration exploded all of a sudden and set free emotional forces that made them both trembling with pure rage.

"As my wife! My companion, advisor and friend! I want this woman back, Clarisse! Even if that means I have to share her with someone else!"

"You lost this woman when you started screwing everyone who is willing enough to jump on you!"

"You know it wasn't like that!"

He got a hold on her waist and drew her closer to him. He breathed heavily, still recovering from his sudden bout of anger. But now his voice was calmer… it softened at the sight of her beautiful eyes. Eyes he had broken when he betrayed her.

"I know I hurt you…and I know you still care for him… What I'm offering you means the freedom to chose! For once in your life you have the choice to be with him if you want
to!"

They held eye contact for several moments and at a point he feared she would take his offer.

But slowly the tension left her body and she cupped his face with her hands.

"I don't live in the past and I won't start living a double life. I simply can't do it… all I want is my life back!"

It was almost a plea. A new wave of sadness overwhelmed him and made him even more drawn to her.

"I can't give you that," he whispered with deep regret in his voice and took her in his arms. "As much as I wish I can't. All I know is that we're bound together for the rest of our lives and what I want is you to know that I'll never let you down."

She felt tired like never before when she rested her head against his shoulder and allowed her tears to fall. Her words were absorbed by low sobs as she clung to him while he sank down on the floor.

"Hold me!"

The heat of the fire warmed them as they lay in a tight embrace while the night settled in over another snowy night in Genovia.

***

After the Parliament session Clarisse, Joseph, Mia, Francesca and Motaz gathered in Clarisse's suite to go into a huddle. The atmosphere was quite tense and the mistrust Frankie and Joe shared against Motaz still hung in the air.

"You have to admit that he is not only clever but also quite brave!" Francesca said in obvious astonishment as she leant back in the comfortable armchair in Clarisse's living room. "I hope you know what you're doing by inviting him into the Palace, Your Majesty!"

"It was hardly an invitation from my side!" Clarisse responded firmly and drank from her tea. "I had no choice!"

"Francesca is right. I think it was a dangerous move to tell him he can stay here," Joe argued. He stood at the mantelpiece of the fireplace and avoided Clarisse's eyes. If she interpreted his posture correctly he was boiling with anger. She feared a new argument with him and felt her heart sinking at the mere thought of it.

"Well, Her Majesty didn't have a choice… unless you prefer him to kick you out of this Palace! That way we can at least keep an eye on him!" Sebastian gave Clarisse an encouraging nod and emptied his cup. "Our huge advantage at this moment is the great confusion of our Parliament. They don't trust him and the reluctance of the Archbishop to acknowledge his right to the Throne and to call your marriage to Joseph invalid supports us. Question is how long will we be able to extend the work of the experts?"

Frankie shrugged. "Well, I can only advice you to be careful. If you postpone the decision it's not only us who buys time. He gets time as well and I can assure he'll use it."

"What I don't understand is…" Mia rose from the couch and looked from one to the other. "How could he pass the test?"

"You can always bribe people," Sebastian explained matter-of-factly. "Actually it was what I had expected before… What brings me to another point. I had a little conversation with Lord DeLesepps and he was kind enough to send me some information about the little London Trip Prince Pierre made some weeks ago."

"You talked to my father?"

"Yes, imagine his name was in the phone book." Francesca commented his ironic remark with a raised eyebrow and decided to keep her mouth shut. For the moment at least. Clarisse cleared her throat and pulled nervously at the seam of her skirt. Joseph who had noticed the sudden change of colour on her face noticed it with growing concern. DeLesseps wasn't exactly the man he wanted to see involved in his.

"And what did his Lordship tell you?"

"Seems that Pierre arrived one week before your wedding. According to my sources he had left his parish two weeks before that… and no one knows anything about his whereabouts until he appeared in London with the man, we all know by now, at his side."

"How can you know that?" Clarisse asked worriedly.

"I talked to Pierre's Bishop and he told me Pierre never said he needed some days off or a vacation. He simply left and only called the Bishop's Palais after he had arrived in London."

Joseph slowly crossed the room until he had reached Clarisse chair. He placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them reassuringly.

"And what was his excuse?"

"He had no excuse. He just said he needed more time. That was all. The bishop thought about disciplinary measures but then he remembered Pierre's family and decided otherwise."

Francesca sighed. "Well, that doesn't help much… what did my father know about the other men Pierre met?"

"That is indeed the most interesting thing. All those men once lived here in Genovia and were members or at least linked to a society that was called "Republican Force of Genovia."

"Anti-Monarchists? But…"

"I know, Milady, the group split after law illegalized them and sent some of them into exile but that doesn't mean its former members are not dangerous anymore," Sebastian explained and stole another cookie from the plate.

"But wasn't that society responsible for at least two failed attacks over twenty years ago?" Mia asked in confusion trying to remember the facts her grandmother had tried to drum into her in one of her legendary Princess lessons.

"We couldn't prove they were responsible. Everybody knew it, but they had hidden their traces very well and the people they used as assassins had been some poor souls they could poison with half truths and hate towards those people they called over-privileged and spoiled. In the end, we could only outlaw the group, because they infringed our constitution. Rupert could ban many of the members but not all of them – unfortunately." Clarisse closed her eyes and massaged her temples with her fingertips. "It was a hard time for all of us… we never knew when one would try to attack us." She frowned and Joseph rubbed her shoulder.

"Important is they could never really harm you or Rupert."

"Okay… stop… let me repeat this… so we can assume this group of radicals is involved," Frankie said agitatedly and got up from her chair. "But two things… why faking a King and why involving Pierre? Pierre would never - and I mean what I say - never conspire with people who tried to kill his parents! So please tell me what to think about all this!"

She crossed her arms over her chest and gave Sebastian a challenging look.

"That Milady is something we should find out. The sooner, the better."

***

The silk under his finger tips was the softest and most expensive fabric he had ever felt. Just like she was one of the most beautiful women he had ever touched. Would he ever find an inch of her that wasn't soft and welcoming? She made him feel alive and wanted.

His past disappeared behind a curtain of desire and need and yet he felt reluctant. He couldn't have her because she wasn't his. He had no right to lay his hands on another man's woman no matter how much he desired her. No matter how hard she tried to seduce him… no matter how good she was in her attempts to draw him into her bed.

"Don't…" he managed to say huskily as her hands got busy with his buttons and his belt while her mouth nibbled at his neck, teased his skin there and made him shiver. The smell of alcohol in her breath had been a good reason to convince her to let him go without any hard feelings, but the more she touched him the more it turned into a foggy detail.

The fire running through his veins straight into his pants betrayed his good intentions. She wasn't his and he was sure she didn't even want to be his. Somehow he felt this had nothing to do with love. It was mere lust and the wish to forget. He knew the feeling and more than once exactly that feeling had been his motivation to look for a willing female bed partner, but this was too much… her scent, her soft skin and her willingness to pleasure him generously.

"Oh god…" He groaned as her hand found its destination and caressed him with growing firmness.

"Tell me to stop… just one time and I'll do so… I know you want it. Just like I want it!" Her normally so distinguished voice had become husky and seductive and he made a bet no one who would hear her right now could say she was the same woman that had moved with so much poise in public some hours ago.

"Yes, I do… I do want you!" His mouth crashed on hers with almost violent force. Their tongues fought a hard duel and he moaned with relief when he felt her teeth biting his lower lip. He tasted his own blood and it turned him on knowing he had found an equal in her. No questions, no answers...