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Chapter 10

JacobPOV

Isabella. Bella. Whatever I called her she was quite possibly the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. From day one I knew I had to get to know her better and it tore me apart to see her that night, bound and gagged. Her eyes and her face told me how frightened she was so I had to get in there and stop Alec and Riley. When they made their threats I was so conflicted. I knew at that moment I couldn't make a sense or Aro would have my head but I had to find her and help her.

As I watched her over the last week or so I began to feel things I had never felt before. All the other girls at the Circus didn't interest me or get my attention but that doe eyed girl, small, soft and full of natural beauty took my breath away in one instant. I knew I was crazy about her.

Once I got to know her a bit more then I saw that she and I had a lot of common thoughts and opinions. It made the time we had together that much butter and it also meant I fell for her even harder.

The moment I knew it was love was when I saw her with Paul. The way she tried to open his heart the way she opened mine. She was a gentle person and had a good soul. Something was very rare to find these days. Yet there was also an innocence and naivety to her which was oddly attractive. The way she tried to talk with Gerry was hilarious but it showed me that she cared. She loved. I wanted to have her in my life so that she would continue to bring out these strange feelings inside me.

Then that one night changed a lot. I knew she had fallen for Edward Cullen. When I had finally gotten the courage to ask her to dinner she had hinted that she loved another. It was obvious who it was and my heart sank. It was always the girl that I wanted that turned out to be the one I couldn't have. Deep down I knew that I wanted her to be happy more than myself. If Edward was going to make her happy, and he was a good guy, then I would make sure he treasured her.

It didn't take long for her to come back, her eyes wide and face stained with tears. I felt her pain and I held her. I didn't want to see her suffer any more. She then accepted my dinner invitation and all hope inside me had restored. I would make her happy for the rest of my life and show her she would not regret it.

So today was the day. I saw Bella was spending time with Sue, Felix and Demetri and I smiled. They would take care of her so I knew she was safe with them. It allowed me the chance to prepare everything I needed for our dinner.

I approached my friends and sat next to them as we ate our sandwiches.

"Guys I need a favor." I began with slight hesitation. Emily, who was one of the trapeze artists and girlfriend to one of my best friends, Sam, just rolled her eyes.

"We are not cleaning that giant hippo again Jacob. She can stink up someone else."

"No it's not that" I assured. I fiddled with my sandwich for a bit.
"You see...I kind of...have a date tonight." Seth, one of the clowns coughed on his big sandwich bite while Embry, who was a juggler, gasped

"You? The Jacob Black who never set eyes on a girl his entire life, has a date? Well I'll be darned." Sam grinned and nudged my shoulder

"Go on then. Who is it?" I took a deep breath

"Bella Swan" Leah, another trapeze artist giggled

"You mean that clumsy new girl?"

"She's not clumsy." I defended with a hint of annoyance. They weren't helping.

"Well what do you need us to do?" asked Seth.

"Well I kind of want to refurbish our carriage area for the night. Make it a bit more 'classy'. Besides I have done plenty of favors for you lot so the least you can do is offer your services for one night." There were some groans but Sam smiled

"I think it's great you've got someone Jacob. It's about time I say. If this Bella girl has got your heart then she is a special lady indeed." I appreciated Sam. He was the only mature one here like me.

"I do need some additional things from you guys because I know you have other other talents." I would need all the help I could get for what I had planned to make the night magical for Bella and make her see why I was the better man for her.

BPOV

"No Bella! Hold onto Edward's upper arms!" Carlisle yelled. He was so stressed out and the tension between Edward I was not helping. He and I didn't much to each other other then things like "ready?" and "got it?". It was strictly professional at the moment till I could get my head around things.

Once my feet were on the ground again we took a break and Carlisle sat down with Esme to have a drink of water and calm down. I felt bad about this. I was to debut in three nights time and I still had a lot of work to do. It was taking it's toll on the family who had to change their entire routine to accommodate me. I felt like an intruder sometimes.

"Do not worry Bella. Carlisle was like this when we were about to open." Alice rubbed my back as we sat down together. She always had a way of cheering me up especially when she made funny faces. She was so full of life and a happy person that I understood why Jasper loved her so. It also hurt me when I saw her distraught face that night I said I was leaving. It hurt me to hurt her so much. I vowed to never let it come to that again.

"Jazzy, come and give us a magic trick." Jasper scooted over to us and exchanged a look with Alice before he winked at me. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a handkerchief. He showed us both sides to show it was an ordinary on before he covered his hand, palm flat and facing up. He gave it two seconds and pulled it off to reveal a baby chick chirping in his hand. I gasped

"Wow Jasper! How did you do that?" He chuckled and handed me the chick.

"You know I cannot give you my secrets. That breaks the magic." The little chick was adorable and brushed my cheek against its light feathers. It was the cutest thing in the world and I stroked it lightly as I smiled at the pair. They would make great parents some day. They had a way with people and children and knew how to make them feel better. Plus Alice's spiritual wisdom and Jasper's magic tricks could make any child feel loved and happy.

This only brought back feelings of my own parents. Charlie sitting around the fireplace with his pipe and listening to the radio while Renee curled up on the sofa and was reading a book. They were very much their own people and sometimes I felt very alone. Being an only child did not help either. I felt like I was just lifestyle milestone for them but they that figured I could raise myself. They never really gave me the love I so needed for my own self esteem as a woman. As much as I loved them I knew they weren't the best parents in the world. Were they really trying to get me back? Was Charlie trying to get the money back to pay Aro so I could return? I highly doubted it right now. He was probably still sitting in his chair with his famous pipe. My mother would be reading or listening to the radio with them. They would be happy.

I wouldn't want this for my children. I wanted to be the best mother I could be and love them. They would always come first. I don't think my parents ever quite understood that.

"Okay that is enough for today. Bella enjoy your late afternoon. Kids, get ready for the show." Carlisle said as he walked out of the tent. Esme came me a compassionate smile

"Do not worry Bella. This is not your fault. Carlisle just needed to let out of some steam." I hugged them before I walked out the door. I walked over to Sue who was sitting at one of the food tables and sewing something on her beard.

I sat down next to her and saw her mending a patch on the beard. She winked and tied off her work

"This darn thing always creates problems." She placed her beard and needle down on the table and turned to me.

"Did you have fun with Demetri?" I smiled and nodded

"Yes. Jemima is quite something." Sue laughed

"Demetri provoked you a little didn't he? Made her seem scary? Yes he does that with everyone." I twirled a lock of my hair in thought. Yes Demetri and Jemima reminded me a lot of Jacob and Gerry or Edward and Paul. It seemed everyone had one animal that they were close to.

"Bella, do you mind if I braid your hair?" I looked at her to see if she was serious before I nodded and turned around. She played with the strands for a while before she started her work and sighed

"I have not braided hair for a long time." My eyebrows furrowed

"How long?" She hummed in thought

"I would say nearly ten years now." I choked a little

"Ten years? Yes that is a long time."

"Well my daughter was three years old then. So ten years. The little thing is already thirteen. They grow up so fast." I smiled knowing now she was a mother

"What is her name?" I asked curiously,

"Amelia. She has these dark curls and cutest blueish green eyes. Very unusual. I think she gets it from my grandfather. She goes to a girls boarding school now. Her father can afford such a thing."

"Does she see you or her father a lot?" There was a pause before she murmured

"No, I have not seen her since she was a little girl. Though her father gets letters frequently and tells me how she is doing when he can be bothered. It's hard when we are both traveling around on the circus and seeing the country." This was getting weird. Her father was traveling with us too?
"What do you mean by that? Her father travels on this circus? This same circus?" She stopped braiding for a moment and I felt her lean in.

"Yes. Her father, my husband, is Marcus Volturi." I remembered now. Marcus, he was the one playing cards with the other blonde one, Caius. He had long dark hair and a long, tired face.

"Marcus is your husband?"I whispered in conclusion. I couldn't believe it. Sue picked up the braiding task again

"Yes. Twelve years. Marcus and I met one night while the circus was touring. He and I had a few drinks and invited me over to see the circus life. I met his brothers who all gave me the creeps but Marcus assured me that they were just pure businessmen. Anyway things happened over that coming week and I became pregnant with Amelia. I wrote to Marcus about the news and he took time from the circus and see me once Amelia was born. It was hard those nine months without him. He did send money every month so that we could save enough to support her. Marcus did not seem keen on her much though I loved her dearly. One night Amelia and I were putting on a show for Marcus and his brothers and I was dressed as a man with a beard and everything while Amelia had a pretty dress and make up. We were doing a lovely scene but Aro's mind had little cogs that switched on and he whispered something to Marcus. I tried to ignore it but not long after he made it clear to me what he had in mind. Amelia was asleep and Aro gave me a proposition. He wanted a bearded lady at his circus as part of the growing pre-show entertainers. I politely declined since I had Amelia to look after. Marcus didn't want me at the circus either but Aro was having none of it. It took a little blackmail involving my daughter for me to agree. So he gave one week with Amelia before I had to give her to my sister to look after. That night before I had to go. I braided her hair like I am doing now and told her how much I loved her and that I would see her soon. My poor little Amelia is now grown and probably doesn't recognize me. Now I am a part of this circus doing the bearded lady and Marcus barely sees me. He has me put in the carriage with Felix and Demetri and I've been staying with them since. The only time Marcus and I speak is if he wants to tell me about the letters or as part of a special request for Aro. I will never forgive these two for taking me away from my baby" She tied my hair off and I heard her sniffle

"All done. A french braid." I turned to her and saw her eyes were red.

"Oh Sue. I am sorry to hear your pain. I know you will see Amelia again. I know it. Please don't lose hope." Sue huffed and leaned her elbow on the table before placing her head in her hand.

"This place does nothing but destroy hope. These people come to see a show full of laughter, joy and fun and spectacle. They have no idea that people here are suffering. They are in pain. They are being kept here against their will. We are caged animals ourselves." She was in so much pain and I could tell she wanted her daughter. She missed her. It made my hatred for Aro just increase even more and now Marcus wasn't much better either.

I gave her a big hug and rubbed her back

"They will get what's coming to them Sue. Just wait." She pulled away and patted my cheek

"Your parents are real idiots to have let you go like this. You are special." I shrugged

"Not everyone thinks so."

"Then don't worry what everyone thinks! You only have to answer to yourself Isabella!" But it hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt even more when I thought about Edward.

"My heart is heavy Sue because I want two men and I can only have one." She nodded

"Jacob and Edward. Well Bella all I can tell you is to follow your heart. Don't make a decision you'll great. Don't make the same mistakes we all have." As she lead me back to the carriage I knew now that I saw Sue in a new light and she was definitely someone who I remember for the rest of my life.

I went back to the carriage to get ready for the show and then it was time for dinner with Jake. I was excited. I had a good vibe around him and he made me feel special like Sue said I was. Was he the one to bring out good side in me? Yet I can't help but feel a slight pang in my chest at the thought of no future with Edward no matter how much he hurt me.

I went inside the carriage and looked in the mirror in the bathroom. I looked over myself and tried to look at myself as a woman. I needed to bring it out more in order to feel happier and sexier. Okay, I had small legs, no, sensual legs. Small breasts, no perfect sized breasts, flat stomach, sexy stomach, curvy hips, full hair. The compliments poured in and already I felt much better about myself. One thing however I couldn't seem to change was my eyes. They were sad. Very sad. They had spark like they once had. With Jacob they looked back at me confused and uncertain and when I thought of Edward they widened and filled with tears.

Love was hard. Love was very, very hard.

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