"FUCK!" I screamed when I was finally by myself quite a way into the woods. I crouched down, elbows on my knees, hands covering my now brimming with tears eyes. Levi was right. What the hell was I thinking. Was I really so caught up in my own reality that I forgot the real purpose I was here? I don't even deserve the title of number one in our class anymore. In fact, I don't think I'll be able to show my face in front of our class again. "SCREW YOU LEVI!" I screamed. At the sound of his name echoing against the trees, the picture of him walking towards me suddenly popped into my head again. Those deep grey eyes. They tell more of a story themselves than he could ever say. The story of pain, loss, and death.
I wrap my arms around the nearest tree and start banging my head against it, feeling my hair get caught in the crumpled layers of the old oak tree. I felt the tears rolling down my face. Guther wasn't going to appear this time. Not Gunther, not Eld, not Petra, not Hanji, not Mike. I was alone. How do I make this better? I don't. It's done. No going back now. I was dumb, there's no undoing that. I accept it now, alright? Levi beats me, in every way shape and form. How? I have no clue. But somehow he does it.
I pull my face away from the tree, wiping away the tears. I took a deep breath. I knew it was time to face the seemingly impossible. I was going to dinner that night, and I would sit with Levi.