Apparently, when their brains were overloaded with magically-induced hatred, climbing over a big ice-wall was more than the people of Arendelle castle could manage. With chasing after the queen no longer an option, they simply settled for standing around the courtyard and yelling at each other until they all went blue in the face.

"You're the woooooooorst boyfriend eeeeeeeeeever!" shrieked Anna, flailing her arms wildly. "I can't believe I ever liked some weirdo who pretends his reindeer can talk!"

"I do not pretend my reindeer can talk!" snapped Kristoff.

"Yes you do," said the voice of Sven.

"Shut up, Sven!"

Of course, the hate-plague hadn't actually affected animals, so the real Sven was simply gaping at Kristoff like he was some kind of moron.

On the far side of the courtyard, Olaf had tackled the maid, trying to wrench his butt from her iron grasp.

"Give it back! Give it back!"

"Never!" spat the maid. "It's mine, all m-"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a magical wave shot across the sky. It was identical to the one from before, except instead of crackling with apocalyptic black magic, this magic was a gentler, pale blue shade. In an instant, every last man, woman, and snowman in the courtyard grew still, dazed.

"W-What was I doing?" asked Anna, clutching her forehead.

"Ugh..." Nearby, Eugene rubbed his eyes. "Please tell me I wasn't cheating on my wife again."

"What have I done?" The maid let out a terrified gasp, then hurriedly returned Olaf's butt to the bottom of his torso where it belonged. "I'm so sorry, Olaf!"

"Oh, that's okay," said Olaf, smiling. "I think everyone just got really cranky all of a sudden. We probably all forgot our nap time."

"No, no, you don't understand." The maid knelt down and whispered in a breathy voice, "I'd never do anything to hurt you. You're the most important person in the world to me. When you give me warm hugs... it's like you're hugging my heart."

"Um..." Olaf slowly stepped backwards. "I just remembered something I gotta go do... over there... away from here." He scurried off as fast as his stubby legs would carry him.

The maid watched him run into the safety of the crowd. Her eyes met her feet. "God, I'm lonely."

"Uhhh..."

Gradually, the world came back into focus. Unlike the last time he'd awoken from unconsciousness, Fritz was lying on dirt instead of silk, his head was propped up by a rock instead of a pillow, and he wasn't in a woman's body, so overall it was a much worse experience.

"Gah!" Fritz shot up, swinging his head around. "Where-?" From the looks of things, he was back in the Valley of the Living Rock. Every last troll had surrounded him, watching Fritz with concern on their faces. "W-What happened?" Fritz instinctively brought a hand to his chest. What the-? His shirt was wet with blood, but the wound itself had vanished. Fritz's chest felt good as new. Heck, his hand wasn't even broken anymore.

"Rapunzel fixed you," said a voice from behind him. Fritz spun around to find a pair of lovely royal ladies leaned against a tree. Elsa smiled at him. "Turns out she was born with healing magic."

"It's, uh, not as strong as it used to be," added Rapunzel, running a hand through her brunette bangs. "But it usually works right at the most dramatic possible moment."

"And that's not all," said Grand Pabbie, stepping forward. "Your act of true love was powerful enough to make a brand new Heart of Arendelle." He held up a pulsating red blob in his bloodied hand. "With its magic, I was able to reverse the damage Mossy did."

"Shame about that guy." Beside him, Cliff bowed his head. "Yeah, he was a crazy evil jerk, but he was still a troll, y'know?" A solemn silence passed over the group.

"Wait a minute!" But it was broken by Fritz. He yelped and backed away from the Heart like it was possessed. "You- You mean you're- You're holding my heart in your hand? But how-?"

"We dug it out of your chest while you were out," said Bulda. "Then we had Rapunzel grow you a new one."

"It was the weirdest thing I've ever done," Rapunzel said brightly.

"Oh." Every last drop of blood had drained from Fritz's face. He felt his chest, as if double-checking he still had a heartbeat. "Well... good?"

"Don't worry, you should be perfectly healthy." As he spoke, Grand Pabbie stowed the new Heart away in a cloth pouch around his waist. "However, there is one last piece of business to take care of. We wanted to wait until you were awake..."

Fritz's stomach lurched. That didn't sound good. "W-What is it?"

"Luckily, Mossy's curse only reached a small radius around the castle. We were able to stop it before it spread too far, and nobody appears to have been hurt."

"Well, besides Mossy," muttered Bulda.

"The problem is, hatred is processed by both parts of the soul." Grand Pabbie waved his hand, conjuring up glowing images of a human brain and heart. "The head and the heart. The Heart of Arendelle can undo the effects on people's hearts, but their heads were also damaged by the black magic. Therefore, the only way for the people afflicted with the hate-curse to fully recover is for me to remove their memories of the past few days."

"Wait, what?" Fritz gave a start. "Like, you're gonna mind-wipe us?

"Basically, yes," Grand Pabbie nodded. "To put it in simple terms, my own magic can travel backwards along the threads left by Mossy's magic, then server those threads from the memories of all they touched, regardless of their distance from me in the physical world. Every last party guest, even the foreign dignitaries who sailed off already, will cease to remember the love potion incident. Those affected by today's hate-plague will simply go about their business as normal. It'll be as if none of this ever happened."

"And you won't remember that the Heart exists, either," added another troll, scowling at Fritz. "Not that we don't trust you anymore."

"Yeah." Fritz bowed his head. "I guess that's fair..."

"Think of it as a second chance," said Grand Pabbie. "A way to start fresh after all the mistakes you made."

"But..." Fritz's mind was racing. A memory wipe? Just thinking about it made his head spin. "But if I don't remember everything that I've been through these past few days, won't..." He shut his eyes. "...won't I still be the jerk who'd use a love potion on Elsa? Won't- Won't I go back to being a bad person?"

Elsa immediately moved towards him. "You're not a bad person, Fritz. You had insecurities, and Mossy took advantage of them."

Grand Pabbie, however, merely smiled. "Memories are stored in the head, but morals are stored in the heart. And, unlike the head, the heart isn't easily changed." He gave Fritz a reassuring pat on the thigh. "I think you may find yourself a better person than you were, even if you can't remember quite why."

Fritz clutched his forehead. "I... I guess so..."

"It's too bad Eugene and me won't remember you guys after this," spoke up Rapunzel. "We only met you because of this love potion stuff. By the time we get back to Corona, we won't even remember we left. Weird, huh?"

Elsa sighed. "It's alright. I'm sure we'll meet you the next time we invite foreign royalty here."

"Besides," Rapunzel added darkly, "there are some memories from this whole mess that I'm not exactly gonna miss..."

"Well-" Suddenly, Grand Pabbie held up his arms. "-we haven't time to waste."

"Wait, wait!" But at the last second, Elsa grabbed Fritz's arm. "Can I have a minute to speak with Fritz alone?"

Pabbie's arms lowered. "Of course, Your Majesty."

The next thing he knew, Fritz was in the middle of a clearing in the forest, sitting side-by-side on a fallen log with the queen of Arendelle herself. Any other day, he'd be debilitatingly tongue-tied by now, but instead, Fritz felt... bleh. This whole situation gave him a headache. Now, not only had he screwed up royally, but he wouldn't even remember that he'd screwed up. How the heck was he supposed to learn from his mistakes if he didn't even know he'd made him?Every time Fritz got close to not being a loser, it was two steps forward, one step back!

"Fritz." He was shaken from his thoughts by the most wondrous voice in all the heavens and Earth. "You saved my life today."

The color returned to Fritz's cheeks. "I... uh... I was really only trying to grab the knife out of Mossy's hand. I didn't mean to, yknow..."

"Well, I..." Elsa brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. Fritz wasn't used to seeing it all unbraided like this. He wasn't sure his heart could take it. "I went ahead and dropped all the charges against you. There won't be any record of anything. I'd be too confusing, anyways, what with the memory wipe and all..." Her voice trailed off.

"Are- Are you really okay with Grand Pabbie doing this to everyone?"

Elsa let out a huff. "Of course not. I hate when he wipes people's memories. He-" She took a breath. "He did the same thing to Anna when we were little. Made her forget I had powers. It was so... unnatural." She shuddered.

After a minute, Elsa seemed to collect herself. "The point is, before we all forget everything, I wanted to make sure you know..." She brought a hand to Fritz's shoulder. "...I forgive you."

Those darn troll valley allergens. They'd struck again. "You don't have to do that, Your Majesty. I mean, all the things I did..." Fritz wiped his eyes.

Elsa gave a small smile. "Mossy took advantage of you. It's not your fault." But the smile was soon replaced by something more somber. "I... I knew you'd been lonely, but I hadn't realized you were hurting so much inside. Not until I was in your body, and I saw firsthand how the other guards treated you."

"What?" Fritz gave a start. "But- But you're the one who's hurting inside! All this time, I thought you were this perfect, amazing, magical queen, but... when I was in your body, I..." He faltered. "...felt what it was like to have your magic. And to not have control." His eyes met hers. "Did you really have to live like that your whole life?"

Elsa nodded slowly. "I guess we've both been lonely."

"Elsa..." Fritz sighed. "I love you, but until now, it's been like the wrong kind of love. That's what the Heart was trying to tell me. I need to think about what I can do to make your life better, not the other way around. Like what your sister did for you."

"It works both ways, Fritz." Elsa smiled again. "Anna needed me just as much as I needed her. True love means putting someone else's needs before your own, but that person also puts their needs before yours." She gave his shoulder a squeeze. "If you ever feel lonely again, I'm here for you."

"Really?" Okay, now he was getting debilitatingly tongue-tied. "You mean that? And- And if you ever, I don't know, want to hang out some time, we could, like, go get dinner together, maybe-?"

He was cut off by a groan. "Platonically. I'm here for you platonically."

Fritz's face fell. "Oh. Right, I knew that."

Elsa shook her head. "That doesn't mean I care about you any less. You're my friend – I don't have many of those. And a good friend is all I want right now."

"Yeah. Yeah, I get it. It's cool."

"I guess it doesn't matter, anyways." Elsa scowled to herself. "In a minute, Grand Pabbie will wipe our memories, and then I'll go back to being stupidly oblivious to your crush."

Fritz nodded, but the words hadn't truly registered in his head. For the record, it was most certainly not cool. In fact, it was about as far from cool as humanly possible. Fritz respected Elsa's choices, and he definitely knew better than to use a love potion to brainwash her again, but- but Elsa had brushed Fritz off so flippantly, like his feelings meant nothing to her! Didn't she understand? Didn't Elsa realize how Fritz's heart ached every time he so much as looked at her precious face? He couldn't just get over her at the drop of a hat! Even if he tried his hardest every day for the rest of his life, Fritz would never love another woman. Not in a hundred years. Not in a million years!

One year later:

"Fritzy!" A woman wrapped her arms around Fritz from behind.

"Agh! Mary!" He came dangerously close, but Fritz somehow managed not to spill a single blueberry from the breakfast tray in his hands. "I'm working right now!"

Mary's lips curled into a pout. "You're always working. Can't we spend some time together?"

Fritz sighed. "Hey, it could be worse. I used to follow Elsa around twenty-four seven." His eyes flitted to his emerald uniform. The standard issue hat and spear of the royal guard had been traded in for a fancier dress jacket with a white ascot. "Look, Kai takes over my shift in an hour. I'll see you then."

Mary shook her head. "I'll be with my violin tutor in an hour."

"Oh."

"It's alright. I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart." She kissed his cheek, then glided out the room.

Fritz's cheek was left bright red, both because he'd been kissed in front of all the staff in the dining hall and because Mary's lips happened to be made of freezing cold ice.

"Here you are, ma'am."

"Thank you, Fritz."

Fritz set the queen's breakfast before her, then hurried off. Elsa was about to reach for a fork when she noticed someone hovering by her chair at the royal end of the table – It was Kai, and he had an unmistakably troubled look on his face.

"Kai?" Elsa frowned. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing, Your Majesty, nothing," said Kai. "It's just... Well, the snowman who's dating that Gudmund boy-"

"Snow-woman."

"Yes, pardon. The snowwoman who's dating that Gudmund boy... You didn't design her..." Kai hesitated before saying, "...specifically so he'd have a girlfriend, did you?"

Elsa laughed. "What, no, of course not! I made Mary by accident. I didn't 'design' her to be Fritz's girlfriend – She's her own person. They fell in love naturally."

"Good, good." Kai sighed in relief. "That's a load off my-"

Just then, one of the maids walked by, stroking the chin of an unusually hunky snowman and whispering, "I love you, Snow-Boyfriend. As long as you're here, I'll never be lonely again..."

Kai stared at the couple until they were out of sight. Then he turned back to the queen.

Elsa shrank under his glare. "Uh... They fell in love naturally, too."

The End

Epilogue:

It was a beautiful June morning in the Southern Isles. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Prince Hans was shoveling a big pile of horse manure.

"Razzin' frazzin'..." He hurriedly wiped his boot off on the cobblestone. Disgusting. Was this to remain Hans's lot in life? A prince of the Southern Isles reduced to a mere caretaker for pack animals? Oh, well. At least out here by the stables, he could finally get some precious solitu-

"Little brother! How great to see you!" Hans cringed, then slowly turned around to find a man heading towards him. He was tall and broad-shouldered with a face much like Hans's own, only far more smug.

"Caleb," Hans said dryly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Caleb grinned and shook his head. "Not just me, little brother." He gestured to the seething mass of people behind him.

Hans's eyes went wide. They were all here. All twelve of them: Caleb, the eldest, Lars, the third eldest, Rudi and Runo, the twins, and the assorted miscellaneous brothers who also had names.

Hans's grip on his shovel tightened. "What are you doing here?"

Caleb's grin only widened. "What, we can't spend some quality time with our beloved little brother?"

"We came to watch you do menial labor," said Rudi.

"Best show in the Isles," added Runo.

Hans swore under his breath. Who did they think they were? These guys had tormented the wrong brother. No one mocked Prince Hans! Disowned. Arrested. Publicly humiliated. Why, it was more than he could bear.

"More beer?"

"Sure! Can't watch our loser of a brother do menial labor on an empty stomach!"

Hans found himself gritting his teeth as he shoveled another load. "I'm disgraced."

"Who, you?" smirked Caleb. "Never. Prince Hans, you've got to pull yourself together."

The other eleven brothers nodded in agreement. Hans was about to retort, but before he could open his mouth, Caleb was singing:

"Gosh it disturbs us to see you, Prince Hans,

Looking so down in the dumps.

Every bro here'd love to be you, Prince Hans,

Even when taking your lumps."

A snicker ran throughout the group.

"There's no man around as admired as you.

Beloved throughout the Southern Isles.

Everyone's awed and inspired by you,

And I guess... it's cuz you've... got such styyyyyyyyyyle."

Suddenly, all twelve of them were chanting in unison:

"Noooooo ooooooooone's slick like Prince Hans!

No one's quick like Prince Hans!

No one's punched in the face by a chick like Prince Hans!

For he's always so cool, never pissed off.

Perfect, a pure paragon.

If you ask her to choose him or Kristoff,

We can tell you which team the princess would be oooooon!"

Hans rolled his eyes.

"Noooooo ooooooooone plans like Prince Hans!

Gets banished like Prince Hans!

No one finishes Anna's sandwich like Prince Hans!

Runo bellowed in his deepest voice: "He might even be worthy of cruuuuuciifiiiiiiixion!"

"My, what a guy, that Prince Hans!"

"Give him a hand,

And wish him well!

Prince Hans's the biggest,

Crim-in-al in Ar-en-delle!"

Hans tried to move away, but one of his larger brothers cornered him. He slapped Hans on the back, leaving Hans dangerously close to face-planting into the pile he'd been shoveling.

"Noooooo ooooooooone's lame like Prince Hans!

Douses flames like Prince Hans!"

"No one treats a marriage like a game like Prince Hans!"

"For all we know, he might be a murd'rer!" said a brother.

"He's real great at pretending to care," said another.

"I suspect he's some sort of sociopath."

"That's right!" said a third.

"And he's real butthurt because he's not the heir!"

Then, in unison, they sang:

"No one hits like Prince Hans!

Matches wits like Prince Hans!

No one denies a hot girl a kiss like Prince Hans!

He's especially good at gettiiiiiing conviiiiiictions!"

"Screw you guys-!"

"No first base for Hans!

The fattest brother stepped forward, bellowing:

"When he was a lad he had one dozen bros,

Who were better than him at all things.

And now that he's grown, all of those dozen bros

Know most likely, he'll never be kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!"

In unison again:

"Noooooo ooooooooone's stooge to Prince Hans!

Screws the pooch like Prince Hans!

No one's sideburns are stupidly huge like Prince Hans's!

He will only get redeemed in baaaaaaaaaaad fanfiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiction!

My, what a guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuy... Prince Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans!"

"That is it!" Finally, Hans grabbed his shovel and stormed off to another region of the stables, where he set to work furiously shoveling a fresh mound onto a cart. He'd just about had it with each and every last one of the horde of bipedal baboons passing themselves off as his relatives.

Ugh, thought Hans, can today GET any worse?

And then a gigantic snowball struck him down from the heavens.

Author's Note: Okay, I admit it, that epilogue has nothing to do with the actual story. I just wanted to work that song in somehow. Now then, I believe I promised to include a list of songs parodied in case anybody missed one. Here you are, sorted by chapter:

1. "Frozen Heart" and "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" from Frozen, "Heffalumps and Woozles" from Winnie the Pooh.

2. "When Will My Life Begin?" from Tangled.

3. "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan, "When You Wish Upon a Star" from Pinnochio, "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from The Little Mermaid.

4. "Hellfire" from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, "A Man's Gotta Do" from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

5. "At Last I See the Light" from Tangled (for about two verses), "As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked.

6. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" from The Lion King.

7. "Very Good Advice" from Alice in Wonderland.

8. "The Plagues" from The Prince of Egypt.

9. "A Little Fall of Rain" from Les Misérables.

10. "Gaston" from Beauty and the Beast

(Yes, I realize this is way more songs than most Disney movies actually have.)

As for the future of my Frozen fanfics, well... Here's the deal. I have one more fanfic idea in my head right now, a short one focused on Anna. It'll be in the "Frozen Wight-verse," but my original characters will probably be a lot less prominent in it than usual. The thing is, I'm a little burned out right now, so I won't be writing Frozen fanfics for a while. I imagine whenever Frozen 2 comes out, it'll renew my vigor and give me lots of new story ideas, but if I happen to get back into a Frozen mood before then, I'll go ahead and write the Anna spin-off. Until then, I'll be back to working on my Spider-Man fanfic.

One more thing, concerning the character of Fritz: I really like Fritz, and obviously a lot of you guys do, too. He was only supposed to appear in one scene as a joke, but reviewers and family members liked him so much than I ended up turning him into a main character, giving him his own spin-off fanfic, and making him prominent in Mary's spin-off fic, too. Well, to put it bluntly, I've milked Fritz for all he's worth. It's not that I like his character any less, but I consider Fritz: The Musical to be his swan song. I mean, he's got his happy ending. He's over his crush on Elsa, which was, like, his defining character trait.I'm not saying Fritz won't show up ever again, but from now on it'll just be short cameos for the occasional punchline. What else am I supposed to do with him? Have him and Mary throw a big wedding and then have freakish half-human half-snowman babies?

Of course, I don't really know what kind of stories I'll write after Frozen 2 hits theaters in a couple years, but what'll most likely happen is that I bench all my Frozen Wight original characters and come up with a brand new supporting cast. Or maybe I'll just promote Henrik and Morten to main characters. I don't know.