Chapter 10 – SPOV
She looked beautiful. When Emily opened the door I was dumbfounded to see Leah there. At first I didn't even notice Sue, Bella, or Renesmee. It felt like someone hit me with a ton of bricks. I could feel the nervous energy pouring out of my sweet Emily and placed my hand on her shoulder to try and calm her, but other than that all I could do was stare at Leah. It was like I was seeing her for the first time all over again, which is silly because around here as much as we try to avoid it we end up running into each other quite often. The curse of a small town I suppose.
Emily was speaking but I couldn't even comprehend her words, all coherent thoughts seemed to leave my mind. Leah, my sweet, sexy, beautiful, strong Leah was here in front of me. No wait…what am I thinking? Leah's not mine anymore. I hurt her, I've imprinted on Emily. Why on Earth am I thinking of Leah as mine? What is wrong with me? I shook myself out of my internal struggle just in time to see Leah cringe back into Bella almost as if she had been struck. Oh how I wish I could take away her pain.
"Won't you please all come in?" I somehow managed to ask trying to break the awkwardness. "Everyone's gathering in the living room." I informed the ladies stepping to the side to allow them to pass. Nessie danced right by followed by Bella guiding a terrified Leah and then finally Sue who stopped to give Emily a hug. I followed the woman into the living room not quite knowing what else to do.
The shower all seemed to pass in a blur to me; I sat next to Emily and seemed to be making all the appropriate comments to the gifts from everyone. However, my heart was no longer in it. Don't misunderstand, I couldn't be more thrilled that I'm becoming a father but sitting here with Leah not five feet from me is hell. All I keep thinking about is that summer we spent together and then the next summer when I crushed her heart. What I wouldn't give to be able to change everything, but that would mean that we wouldn't be here right now celebrating the upcoming birth of my children. I'm a wreck inside now, and there's no one I can confide in. No one that I can talk to, that can tell me what is going on, that can explain to me why after all this time I can't stop thinking about Leah, why I feel as if Emily and I are coming to an end.
All I know for sure is that I have to figure this out before we merge packs again or I risk hurting Leah all over again, and I can't, I won't let that happen.