A/N: As always, I want to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews! It makes me smile seeing my inbox filled with reviews, author alerts and story alerts! I had no idea Cloud's Embrace was going to be this popular! This is a bit of a slow chapter, but it is completely necessary for the future things I've got planned and written. It also has a bit of insight as to Cloud's past - but JUST a little. Oh, and you can expect a little Tifa/Aerith confrontation next chapter, as well as a little love from Cloud, hehe :] Review! :D
Disclaimer: I, in no way, own any part of Final Fantasy VII or its characters.
Two uneventful days had passed and still no return of Cloud. I had risked a trip outside to visit Archer the day before, checking constantly over my shoulder and practically running to the barn before I felt safe inside. Henry had been riding a horse in the arena outside, sitting atop a giant black monster stallion and holding his own like the most experienced horseman. Henry had waved and Hamlet inclined his head in silent greeting.
After my visit with 'my' stallion I raced back into the castle. However, I realized I had left the barn from the other end and found myself in the front gardens of the castle. The fountain bubbled merrily; nothing but white noise. I went to it and leaned against the cement edge, trailing my fingers through the cold water. The sun shone down, creating gems of glittering sunlight that rippled across the water. Under the surface of the shallow water were hundreds of brightly colored pebbles, equal in size to my thumbnail. There were stones of cyan, apple green, baby blue and candy pink. They look like crystals from the bottom of the fountain and I submerged my hand completely and grabbed a handful, letting them drop from my palm before I pulled them above water.
The front gardens seemed bigger than they had the night I'd arrived. The pike gate seemed to be a longer distance away. While the outside of the gate had pikes pointing out to keep intruders at bay, the inside of it had none at all. Instead, the walls were smooth stone. There were various blocks painted either silver, red or black at random intervals and just inside the gate itself was a flag pinned to the wall.
The flag was two-toned; black and red. A strip of silver ran between the two colors. Over the colors was the shape of a fighting gryffin, reared up and lashing out with two front paws. I didn't quite understand how Cloud related to a gryffin, but then again I didn't see how it mattered. The day was quiet and peaceful. I happened to glance up and see the tower that held Cloud's room. The window was dark, but my curiosity had spiked.
I needed to get in there. The realization struck me like a galloping horse. Maybe I could find out more about Cloud if I could get into where he spent his time! My thought process was undoubtedly flawed and stalkerish, but I would give almost anything to understand more about him. I passed the front guards and into the grand hall, climbing the stairs. I stopped at the first door on the left in the hallway, hoping it lead me to Cloud's turret.
Luck seemed to be on my side. I passed under an archway and into a matching hallway exactly like mine – although much more 'him'. Weapons were proudly displayed on the wall – old guns, swords that looked as though they hadn't seen the light of day in ages and splintered bows hanging near ruined arrows. His walls displayed the unusable – the ones that had gone out in a flame of glory during battle.
I didn't pay them much attention. I saw a door at the very end of the hallway, laid out much like mine, so I headed for it quickly, my heart thudding. I had the feeling that any moment I could get caught, but it's not like I was disobeying Cloud's orders! My only rule was to stay away from the trapdoor, and I was, wasn't I?
I pushed open Cloud's door with ease. Inside his room was dark, so I grabbed an oil lamp from the hallway and held it aloft to light my way. His room was slightly larger than mine, but contained all the same furniture, merely arranged a different way. Cloud's bed was big, exactly like mine, but covered in a black comforter with white pillows. There were two identical small tables on either side of his bed, holding a tall candelabrum that seemed all but glued to the top with hardened candle wax.
His fireplace was clean and perfect; four logs stacked inside, waiting to be lit. His walls were the darkest black, holding multiple wall sconces that looked as though they were rarely used. I skimmed over the rest of his room eagerly, searching for his desk or a bookshelf, and when I noticed the desk tucked inside a pleasant alcove, I made haste toward it. The desk itself looked as though it had seen a lot of use; there were marks of wear along the edges, smudges of dried ink and several drips of hardened red wax that I recognized as the seal wax he used on his letters.
The top drawer was locked, to my dismay, but it didn't take long to pick the lock and pry the drawer open. I felt guilty almost immediately upon seeing the leather bound book inside – his journal – but my curiosity was eating me up. I had to read at least one entry inside, I just had to. With careful fingers (I almost expected the drawer to be booby trapped), I lifted the journal from inside and set it on the top of the desk. The leather was soft and worn with age and use, so I took even greater care when I opened the cover and looked over the first page.
It seemed the journal began with mentions of Aerith. Jealousy flared up in my chest at the sight of her name written in such careful calligraphy, but I tried not to let it get to me. I was here to collect information, not to seethe about the past. I recognized this handwriting as the same that had penned out the letter to my mother, and that thought warmed anger in my belly. The thought that Cloud, being the exact opposite of what I had thought him to be in the first place, had penned that letter telling me that if I did not accompany Chamberlain to his castle, infuriated me.
I clenched my fists and swallowed my emotions, focusing entirely on the task at hand. I lowered my eyes to the page and began to read.
Entry One,
I have heard of a girl with incomparable kindness and compassion, and I wonder – is she enough to break my curse? Tomorrow I will accompany Chamberlain to fetch her. Although the journey there and back will be arduous on him and I, the horses and the girl, I have not a doubt in my mind that it will be a success. She goes by the name of Aerith – a beautiful name if ever I have heard one. Strange; I have received no omens or dreams of this one. Yuffie was an omen, one of death, so perhaps that's why she died. I can only hope that by the time I arrive to collect Aerith, I will have moved on from Yuffie's death and will be ready to embrace this new beacon of hope.
Thoughts race through my mind. A third girl? Not only was I curious of the fact that Cloud had taken three girls, but he went to collect Aerith himself? Why hadn't he done the same with me? The first entry revealed no secrets at all, so I decided to keep reading to see if I couldn't glean anymore information. I skipped ahead a few pages, to the eighth entry and read on.
Entry Eight,
Tomorrow we will reach Aerith's village. I do not imagine her to live in luxury – the Capitol has seen to that. All of the villagers we have passed seemed in awe of my carriage, as though they had never seen something so grand. Of course, the train stationed a little under a mile outside of each village bears witness to the fact that they are not all entirely without knowledge of the riches and splendor of the Capitol, but I am still taken aback at the poor conditions these folk live in. I can only hope that Aerith will not be too reluctant to leave home – Yuffie put up some fight, but in the end, she came. It doesn't take much to persuade an impressionable girl to leave with me; my good looks matched with the charm I can show makes for a tempting offer. I do not want to use force on Aerith, but if I need to, then so be it. However, stories I've heard of this girl make me believe force will be unnecessary.
Entry Ten,
Aerith is everything I've heard. Tonight is the last night Chamberlain and I will spend in this squalid inn, but it has been worth it. She has seen me around the village, speaking with the others (of her, of course), and the look on her face tells me she is intrigued. Aerith is beautiful, no doubt, but not overly so. There is softness to her face that I feel I can grow accustomed to – yet her shy nature repels me. I suppose I will grow used to her quiet voice and her gentility, yet part of me wishes for someone a little more like Yuffie. I know inside that the part of me wishing her to be similar to Yuffie is also the part that hasn't gotten over her death, but I hope in time, those feelings will fade. There is something about Aerith, however, that I read to be wrong. There is no satisfactory feeling I get when I see her face or hear her mentioned in conversation. It is as though something just has not clicked about her. That familiar premonition is not present when I hear her name, as it had been with Yuffie. And he explained to me in explicit terms that even a child could understand that I would know the right girl when I saw her. I do not get this with Aerith. Yet I know him to be crafty and cunning, so perhaps this is all a ploy to rouse my doubts and suspicions as to keep the light smothered and the darkness growing.
This was the first mention of anyone else outside of Chamberlain, Cloud, Aerith and Yuffie. It seemed that from Cloud's words that he didn't like the man he referred to. These readings had me immersed completely, yet my heart was still pounding at the prospect of getting caught. I could only hope that if I did indeed get caught snooping, that it would be by Chamberlain, and not by Cloud. I didn't know when to expect him home, but it would do me no good to have him catch me up here, reading through his personal belongings and journal entries.
I debated on abandoning my quest for further knowledge – but the desire and curiosity to know won out in the end. I pulled the oil lamp closer to provide further light, and kept reading.
Entry Eleven,
Aerith is definitely a woman of few words. Already we have spent two agonizingly silent days in this carriage, and she has done little to instigate conversation. I have had to do everything. I am beginning to realize what a chore I've gotten myself into – just getting this girl to open up and speak will be a task all its own. The weather is beautiful and seems to please her, yet she has spoken only of her like of the sun, and for only the briefest moment. I knew she was quiet, but I did not know she was this timid! I am not sure how much more silence I can take! Perhaps she is merely intimidated – I have had that effect on women in the past. Of course, Yuffie was an entirely different story. Her strong, boisterous nature appealed to me greatly, and yet even she failed. Admittedly, this is the first time I've left the castle since her death, but I suppose it is time to stop mourning. I think perhaps, had she loved me a little more, we would've made it through the Plains alive. Yet the living dead were too much for her. That being the case, I wonder how Aerith is going to fare when we descend under the trapdoor? If Yuffie was overcome, how do I expect Aerith to be any better?
Entry Twelve,
Finally, she speaks! I should've allowed more time for her to grow comfortable in my presence before expecting so much of her! The softness of her voice is enough to soothe me to sleep, if I should so allow it, yet the severity of her emerald eyes keep me riveted and alert. Those eyes are like pools holding immeasurable depth and emotion. I can sense that there is more to Aerith then she allows me to see. There seems to be a playful side to her that rarely shows itself; except for when she is speaking with me. A new light shines in those incredible eyes and her features become animated – she is a new person entirely.
I couldn't stand reading so much about Aerith! Jealousy flared inside me like a candle and I felt the anger bubble in my belly again, so I skipped ahead a sizeable amount, hoping to evade any more entries and mentions of her.
Entry Twenty-Five,
The darkness is beginning to take over. I can feel it distinctly. The rage I get when I see her face does me NO good at all. I can hardly stand to look at her, or Chamberlain or any of the guards before I grow incomparably angry and rough. I have not grown violent, yet, but the words I've spoken to Aerith may as well have been blows. Chamberlain, bless his soul, understands my predicament and does not take the things I say to heart. I can tell that I have hurt Aerith once or twice with my words, and even though I can explain to her I do not mean it – the damage is done and I cannot replace it. I know that I need to love the one I take under the trapdoor, but since Yuffie, those feelings are harder to come by. It does not take a fool to tell that Aerith loves me – it has only been a couple of months and the look her eyes when she sees me says more than words ever could. But … I do not love her. I cannot bring myself to. Besides, Aerith is too much my opposite. I loved Yuffie, because she was so similar to me. I could love Aerith, but I feel I never will. I know not what to do with her now. I will feel terrible if I plainly tell her I cannot return her feelings, but what to do now? Shall I ask her to return home or leave the decision completely up to her?
Entry Thirty-Two,
I have dug myself a hole I cannot escape from. My last visit under the trapdoor has revealed to me things I had not previously taken into account. I had already known that he does not want me to succeed, yes, but I knew not the lengths to which he would go to ensure my failure. I cannot believe that he would go as far as to plant the knowledge in my mind of Aerith – to lead me astray and to distract me from my path. My last visit has really opened my eyes to the deception and conniving nature of his, for he will do anything to keep me from breaking my darkness. I do not want to do his bidding, I do not want to take his place, and I do not want any of what he has planned for me.