You guys have tissues, right? :D

It seemed to take forever, but Ignis' labored breaths finally died down as Noct coaxed him back to sleep with music and breathing exercises. He looked so peaceful that it was hard to believe he'd just been screaming his lungs out in terror.

Noctis swallowed, setting his phone next to Ignis' head and leaving the music on. Astrals, he'd hoped he'd never have to put on that stupid playlist again. A couple months before they'd left Insomnia he'd considered deleting it. Things like this were the only reason he had it, and Ignis had been doing so well.

Damn it all.

Damn the stupid rain.

Damn Loqi.

And now Noctis had to go face everyone else. What was he even going to say? And Cor was out there. Great. As if explaining this to Gladio and Prompto wasn't bad enough.

Noct ran a hand through his hair before tugging Ignis' sleeping bag back up to cover his shoulders. He wasn't going to give everyone else the finer details. Those weren't his to give. But he had to tell them some of the truth, and maybe it would actually be better if it was him and Ignis didn't have to do it himself.

With one last regretful look at Ignis' somewhat curled-up form, Noct stood as much as he could and maneuvered his way out the tent door.

…Oh boy. Looked like he'd been in there with Ignis even longer than he thought because the chairs were out again and set up around a new fire. Cor looked pretty much the same as always – arms crossed as he sat in his chair with the usual scowl-face. Prompto was bouncing one leg restlessly as he slouched in his own chair. And then there was Gladio, who was staring into the fire with his elbows propped on his knees.

Prompto shot out of his chair as soon as he saw Noctis. "Noct! Is Iggy–"

"Shhhh!" Noctis hissed, putting some distance between him and the tent. "I just got him back to sleep." Granted, Ignis wasn't likely to hear them through his sleep and the music, but he was a light enough sleeper that Noct didn't want to take the chance. He noticed that they'd already set up a chair for him, and he sank into it as soon as he got that far, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Well?" Cor asked bluntly.

Noctis sighed. "Well, what?"

"I heard screams all the way down at the outpost. Would you like to explain what that was about?"

"Not really…" Noctis muttered.

"Noct," Gladio borderline snapped. "That wasn't some nightmare – that was PTSD, plain and simple."

"There is nothing plain and simple about post-traumatic stress," Cor said.

Noctis let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, you're not wrong about that…"

"Noct…" Prompto hovered by his chair, hands wrung together. "You knew exactly what you were doing in there…"

"This has been going on for a while, hasn't it?" Gladio filled in Prompto's unvoiced question.

"I'd imagine around three years." Cor's gaze drilled into him. "Am I correct?"

Noctis took a slow breath. "…Yeah…"

Gladio swore, raking a hand through his hair. "Noct, what the hell? We needed to know about this – as your Shield, I needed to know about this! Why didn't you two tell us?"

"Because he didn't want people treating him differently!" Noctis rubbed his neck, willing himself to stop tensing his shoulders. "I… He's worked so hard. He was fine! It had been over a year since last time, and that wasn't nearly as bad."

"But… but…" Prompto somehow managed to look more miserable than him, on the verge of crying or throwing up or something. "But we could have helped…"

Noctis smiled softly. "You did." He looked to Gladio. "Every day. Just by being there and being steady and normal. That was what he needed."

"What he needed was a professional, not a seventeen-year-old boy who'd also been through trauma. You should have reported it the first time he showed any signs of this level of trauma."

Noctis' gut flipped at Cor's cold tone. "He… he asked me not to say anything to anyone."

The look Cor gave him was borderline condescending. "As you're now King, I believe it would be best if you learned the difference between what's wanted and what should actually be done.I've watched veterans – friends – struggle with matters like these. Every single one of them wanted to deal with things on their own, and none of the ones that took that road went anywhere good."

"He trusted me!" Noctis snapped, tired of the berating. He didn't regret what he'd done. He honestly didn't believe anyone could have done better. "Don't you think I thought about telling my dad? Ignis was hurting because of what he did for me, and he asked me to keep it a secret. What would you have done? Because somehow I don't think betraying his trust when I was the only one he had to confide in would have helped him any. I might not have been a doctor, but I did my research and I had his back. He was not alone."

Silence fell briefly, and Noctis pressed his palms into his eyes for a moment before dropping his hands back to his lap. Research. That reminded him of something. "Gladio, um… he might be a little jumpy around you for a couple days…"

Gladio looked more off guard than Noctis had ever seen him. "What?"

"Try not to take it personally. He'll know you were just trying to help with that slap, but… it's just gonna be a subconscious thing."

Gladio looked baffled.

Noctis sighed. "Look, movies and stuff like to spread around this idea that slapping people is the best way to stop them from freaking out – and in a combat situation when it's that or their life, it probably is – but… depending on what the original trauma is from, it can actually do more harm." Why was this not standard training, anyway?

Prompto tilted his head owlishly. "You really did do research on this, didn't you?"

Noct nodded. After that one time… he was going to make sure that never happened again. "Yeah… Iggy thought that a slap would help too. Told me to do it if something like this happened again. But afterward, he couldn't stop flinching around me for days. He felt super guilty, but he couldn't control it. Like I said, subconscious thing. I'd accidentally sent his brain the message that if he freaked out around me I was going to hurt him."

"And I just gave him that message about me…" Gladio swore again. "See, this, Noct? This is why we needed to know."

"It wasn't my decision to make, Gladio!" What about that weren't they getting? "And I told you – before now he'd had things under control for over a year."

"But now Loqi's back…" Prompto murmured.

"Yeah…"

"Enough of the past," Cor said. "What's done is done. The question is what happens next."

Noct knew exactly where Cor was going with that, and he knew Gladio had to be thinking it too – how much of a threat was Ignis' condition to their group? Well, he wasn't having that, and especially not tonight.

"What's next is we wait for the morning." Noctis dropped his hands to his lap. "If we're gonna talk about this, Ignis deserves to be here for it." He waited for someone to protest, but, surprisingly, not even Cor did.

Cool. At least he'd postponed this crap, then. He might have needed to sleep, but he was pretty sure he was going to just lie down and think. Whatever the case, things were still awkward when they tried to pile back into the tent.

"Prompto." Noctis caught his shoulder when he was about to go inside. "Would you mind swapping places? It's… probably best that I stick closest to him."

Prompto's entire face dropped further with worry and pain, but he bobbled his head faintly all the same. "Uh-huh. Yeah… sure thing."

And so Noct settled into Prompto's usual sleeping bag next to Ignis, close enough that Ignis could snuggle into him if he wanted. Ignis rarely did that, but sometimes he did seek out physical contact after a bad episode – another of his many stabilizing points.

…Oh. Ignis shifted closer to him instantly, their shoulders bumping.

Damn… This really was a bad one, then. But… Noctis was still gonna help in any way he could.

Just like he had been.

Maybe this would be even better. Maybe now that Gladio and Prompto knew, the support would be everywhere and Ignis could make faster progress than the last times.

Maybe… He guessed all there was to do was hope until the morning.

Gladio wasn't sure when, but he must have drifted off at some point during his internal swearing montage because suddenly the morning's light was outside.

He withheld a groan. Six, he hadn't slept this bad since his sleep deprivation training. He'd never felt so much like ignoring the world and falling back into the comforting void where he could still pretend his father was alive and one of his closest friends wasn't being tortured by his own mind, but that wasn't going to happen.

Plans and decisions had to be made, and they weren't going to make themselves.

He stretched with a grimace as he sat up. Six, what were they going to do about Ignis? What could they do? Trick question. He already knew the answer, but it wasn't one that was going to fly with the rest of the group and even Gladio would give anything to find another way.

He was a Shield, and he was a friend. Normally, those coexisted well, but not today. Today they were conflicting. Battle partners and everyday confidants were important, but those were supposed to help him do his duty, not… sabotage it.

Sabotage. Astrals, that was so unfair, but it was true. Shields didn't get to sugar coat things. Shields didn't get to pick friends over duty.

Try as he might, Gladio couldn't keep his gaze from straying over to where… Ignis… was… not. The spot next to Noct was empty.

Gladio instantly moved over to the tent door, getting it open as quickly as he could without tearing it. The motion was a practiced one, but it still felt too slow.

He let out a puff of air, relieved as he spotted Ignis at his usual post – at his small food preparation table as he set aside a third bowl of what looked like oatmeal. Gladio frowned as Ignis stopped there and didn't make a fourth. Instead, he started putting away the dishes and silverware he'd dirtied.

That was very… un-Ignis. Someone else Gladio would probably expect to skip breakfast after what happened last night, but Ignis hounded them all the time on keeping to regular eating schedules when they could and not missing meals. Granted, there were many times Gladio had caught him pushing back dinner in order to get work done, but not breakfast. Ignis was next to religious about getting a good breakfast in so he could face the day or whatever.

"Hey," Gladio greeted cautiously, not wanting to startle him if he hadn't heard him approaching.

Ignis' hands stilled for a moment before resuming their task. "Good morning, Gladio." He didn't look at him.

What could he say that wouldn't seem too pitying or insensitive? "How are you?" Neutral tone. Hopefully that would come across right.

"As well as to be expected, I suppose." Ignis was trying to sound normal, but his words were just a bit too tight. "Your breakfast is ready, if you'd like to start eating now. I'm sure Noct and Prompto won't care if you start without them."

"Ignis…" Gladio licked his lips. "You can't just dismiss this. Look, I would love to pretend this didn't happen and let you deal with it on your own time, but I can't do that. You know I can't."

"I do know, Gladio. The last thing I would fault you for is doing your duty." Ignis finished with his kitchen work and moved off to the side, filling up a canteen with water from one of the bigger jugs they'd brought.

"Yeah, and I'm not gonna bag on you for wanting to deal with this crap without everyone knowing about it, but c'mon, Iggy." Gladio spread his arms. "This is me. What, did you think I was going to pity you?"

"No." Ignis grabbed a couple of protein bars – the ones Gladio definitely remembered being lectured not to eat in place of a meal – from where they were left by the oatmeal. "I knew you wouldn't pity me. I knew you'd doubt me."

"Damn it, Iggy, that's not fair." It really wasn't. And it doubly wasn't fair for Ignis to say that without even looking at him.

"You've done more to help Noct than you should ever have to. You're more loyal than most of my ancestors. Just because I'm worried about you keeling over in battle doesn't mean I doubt you." He stepped forwards, reaching for Ignis' shoulder to get him to face him. "What you've got going on is no more dishonorable than a physical scar–"

The instant his hand touched Ignis' shirt, Ignis jumped away, knocking one of the thermoses next to the oatmeal over. He scrambled to pick it up again before it spilled too much, setting it back upright with a shaking hand.

Gladio swallowed. Shit. He should have thought about Noct's warning.

Ignis braced himself with both hands on the small table, his voice hoarse. "Sorry…"

"No." Gladio's stomach churned unpleasantly. "You don't apologize for that. I'm sorry." Six, it was so hard to see him like this. "…Would you look at me? Please?"

Ignis sighed, slowly pushing off the table and turning around. Gladio didn't think it was possible for someone to look so drastically different in just a few hours, but Ignis did. It wasn't a big thing, just lots of little imperfections the man wouldn't normally be caught dead with – his hair a little droopy, his glasses smudged with a large fingerprint, the set of his shoulders just a bit too sagged… Honestly, it looked like he had one hell of a hangover, but none of the fun that came beforehand.

A slight movement caught Gladio's eye, and he glanced down to see Ignis thrumming his fingers on his leg in a set motion.

…Oh. He'd seen that before. He'd see that a lot the last few days. He'd thought it was weird then – Ignis was never that twitchy – but with the loss of Insomnia, he'd figured it was just an anxious tick. Now he knew better. That was a damn grounding method, and he'd started using it… since just after he found out about Insomnia.

"…Have you been using that since Galdin?"

No wonder Noct had been the one driving them back.

Ignis looked downright ashamed as he nodded. "It helps a bit. Tactile patterns, pressure points, reading aloud…"

Astrals, how many times had Gladio seen those the last few days? And how many had he missed on top of those?

Ignis was still looking anywhere but at Gladio. "I'd thought… it had been so long that I'd dared to hope I was past this, but Insomnia… Loqi's escape… I'm no better than I was years ago."

"Yeah, well, you got better then, at least for a while. You can do it again."

Ignis stared at the ground, chuckling dryly. "Perhaps. But not like this. I'm… too much of a liability."

Gladio didn't like the sound of that. "What are you sayin', Iggy?"

"You know what I'm saying."

Suddenly, Ignis packing protein bars and water made a sickening sense.

"…You're leaving…"

Ignis finally met his gaze. "Are you going to tell me it's the wrong course of action?"

He wasn't. He couldn't. As a friend, he wanted to say yes. As a friend, half of him was screaming for him to stop Ignis and keep him as close as possible. To help him.

But his other half said something else. The half of him that firmly remembered his oath as Shield. There was duty bound to defend Noct from any and all threats. Ignis – his condition – was a threat. If what happened last night happened during battle, or if Noct even thought it was a possibility…

Noct couldn't afford to be distracted, especially not now. The slightest distraction in battle could mean the difference between life and death.

It was a fact: Ignis could easily get Noct killed in his current condition.

"No…" Gladio forced out finally. "I wish that I could…"

"But you can't. Because it's the truth, and you won't let your personal feelings get in the way of your duty." The was pain behind his eyes. A true, soul-deep agony. "And neither will I." He bowed his head again, pressing his thumb and forefinger into his tear ducts.

It hit Gladio then – he'd woken up earlier than Ignis had intended. He was normally an early riser, but if he slept in more than usual, then Ignis would wake them all up just a bit before breakfast. Breakfast was done, and Ignis hadn't made any for himself. He'd been planning on leaving before the rest of them got up. Because Noct and Prompto would have made things so much harder. They wouldn't have let him go.

Maybe it would have been better if he'd left before Gladio found him too. Not that he could make it much worse for Ignis. Having to walk away from them – from Noct – was a greater torture to Ignis than anything else could ever be.

Ignis sucked in a breath sharply, and this time when he looked up there was unshed moisture in his eyes. "I would have remained with you all. Until the very end."

There was a pressure in Gladio's chest that was threatening to break free. He slowly held up his hand, giving Ignis plenty of time to stop him or move away if he wanted to. When Ignis didn't flinch as Gladio set his hand on his shoulder, Gladio took it a step further and pulled him into a cross-armed hug.

"You take care of yourself, okay?" Gladio said softly.

"I ask the same of you." Ignis returned the hug with a strong grip. "And take care of them."

"I will, I swear." Gladio pulled back, not wanting to take his chances on how much contact Ignis could handle. "Where you gonna go?"

A sad smile tugged at Ignis' lips. "To see an old friend."

Gladio frowned. Ignis had other friends besides them? "Well, tell him if he does anything you disapprove of I'll come kick his ass."

Ignis snorted in sudden, out of place laughter. "I'll be certain to pass that on to her."

Her? What in the hell? Now he suddenly had an old friend who was a woman? What else had Gladio missed about Ignis?

Ignis squared his shoulders, blinking frequently. "Goodbye, Gladio."

Gladio couldn't watch as Ignis walked away. He turned his back, rubbing the salty wetness from his cheeks as his friend's footsteps faded. He sank into his chair by the dead fire.

What had he done?