My apologies for this being late, I decided to add to it after I thought I had it finished. I am unfortunately not going to meet my goal of having this done before my vacation. I have been busier than I thought I would be with work and now I have kissed my three day weekend goodbye because we are shorthanded at work due to one person quitting and another out for back surgery so I told my boss I would come in for a few hours Saturday and Sunday. I hope to still get a lot of writing in though as I won't be working full shifts.

I will for sure get at least one more chapter up before I leave in a week and I hope to be able to post one chapter while I am gone. I should have internet access the first five days of my vacation so hopefully I can get a chapter up. The last 10 days I will be staying with relatives and it is unlikely that I will have internet access there.

Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter. A fair warning, Steve has a potty mouth again in this one but its only a couple swear words.

Chapter 10

Steve is up early for therapy the next day. He spends most of the morning working on walking with the parallel bars. He is able to take small shuffling steps but his right foot drags with each step forward, he can't manage to lift it high enough to completely clear the floor; his broken arm makes it even more difficult because he can't use it much for support. After two hours, Steve is done with physical therapy for now. He gets a break for lunch and manages to take a short half hour nap before he has speech therapy for an hour. His speech has greatly improved over the last few days but it's still slow and occasionally slurred but at least now he doesn't sound like a child with a speech impediment. After his speech therapy session he has another short PT session to work his arm. His arm isn't back to a hundred percent yet but he is slowly getting there, tasks like eating or shaving don't exhaust all his strength anymore.

Over the past few days Steve hasn't been able to spend as much time as he would have liked in PT because of the seizures. He is really hoping that he will make it through today without one. Each time he has another seizure it takes away precious time that he could be using for therapy. He hasn't even left the hospital and he is already irritated with the way the seizures interrupt his life.

Danny stops by late in the afternoon just after Steve arrives back to his room from his last therapy session for the day. Danny enters to find Steve and Stacy slowly walking from the bathroom to the bed. He can see Steve's legs shaking with the exertion. Stacy has her hand looped through the gait belt that is fastened around Steve's waist. Steve is leaning on a walker as he shuffles along. The walker has been modified with an arm rest extension on the left side for him to rest his broken arm on; it makes it easier for him to support himself with the casted extremity.

"Looking good, Babe!" Danny says. He is thrilled to see Steve finally making progress.

Steve completely ignores him as he concentrates on making it to the bed where Stacy helps him get situated. She puts the walker in the corner of the room where it will be out of the way as she tells Steve that she will see him tomorrow before leaving. Steve leans back on the bed in exhaustion; he can feel the muscles in his legs twitching from the exertion.

"It's great to see you up and about."

"Well I'm up but I wouldn't really say about." Steve's tone is bitter.

"Still, you are making progress." Danny consoles.

"I feel like a 90 year old man, Danny, shuffling along with a walker, needing help with everything." Steve is getting angry now.

"Hey, Steve. Calm down! You'll be walking around without assistance in no time. You just need to be patient."

"Danny, I have been patient since I woke up! My patience is running thin! I work my ass off in therapy and have hardly gotten any results! Every time I have another fucking seizure I'm out for half a day and it just puts off my recovery that much more each time! I'm sick of it! I just want to get better and go home!"

Danny was shocked by Steve's outburst but at the same time he was amazed that it hadn't come sooner. For Steve to blow up like this is rare, he generally keeps his emotions close to his chest. When he does get angry it's usually a very controlled anger, not an explosion like Danny.

"Hey! Calm down, Steve, before you give yourself another seizure." Danny commands. Steve's seizures, according to Dr. Freeman, have all been unprovoked but Freeman said that an increase in stress can trigger seizures. He also gave Steve a whole list of other things that can trigger seizures.

Steve leans back and takes a deep breath. He knows Danny is right and getting worked up isn't going to do anything to help him.

After Steve has visibly calmed down Danny speaks, "Look, Steve, I know you are frustrated with everything and I know you want nothing more than to get out of here and go back to living your life the way you have for the last year but we both know that isn't going to happen any time soon."

"Or won't happen at all." Steve grumps.

"You can't think like that, Steve. There is still a possibility that you can return to having pretty much the same life you had before if they can find a medication that works. You need to think positive."

"Dr. Freeman also said PTE doesn't always respond to drugs, and so far it hasn't."

"It's barely been three weeks since you fell, Steve. Less than two since you woke up. Dr. Freeman said it will take time to find the correct dose; plus until today you were on an antibiotic that could have been interfering with the medication. You just have to give it time Steve. Try not to think about the seizures and concentrate on your rehab."

"It's hard not to think about the seizures, Danny." Steve says softly. "It's always looming in the back of my mind and I'm constantly watching out for the warning signs; sometimes I will get an odd feeling or smell something weird and I get myself convinced that it's one of the auras I sometimes get before a seizure starts and then it never comes…I hate this Danny."

It amazes Danny that Steve is being this open about his feelings but then he remembers that Steve is still suffering side effects from the head injury. Dr. Freeman said the small personality changes that Steve is experiencing are more than likely just temporary.

"I know you hate this, Steve. I do too, believe me. But you need to try not to dwell on it; it will only make it worse."

Danny and Steve sit quietly for a few minutes. Steve has his eyes closed and does his best to ignore Danny's presence. Nothing is said until Sarah enters the room. She knows Steve isn't asleep because she heard the altercation between the two men from the hallway.

"What do you say we get rid of the NG tube, Steve?"

"I'll wait outside." Danny says as he stands.

Steve still hasn't said anything but he did open his eyes to look at Sarah.

Sarah unpins the tube from his t-shirt and gently peels the clear tape that holds the tube to his face away as she explains to him what is going to happen. She takes a syringe of saline and flushes the tube before pulling the tube out. Steve gags a bit as the end comes out of his throat but Sarah manages to remove it without much trouble.

"How are you feeling?" She asks.

Steve gives a one shouldered shrug, "Ok I guess. Throat's a bit sore now. I'm tired."

"Your sore throat will go away in a couple hours. Supper trays will be here in a few minutes, I think its roast beef tonight."

"Great."

Sarah takes his vitals and checks him over before leaving. It's obvious that Steve isn't feeling up to social interaction right now. They have been monitoring for signs of depression in the last few days and it is pretty clear that Steve is depressed. Depression is common after a diagnosis like Steve's, and the fact that he is still suffering effects to the head injury isn't helping any. Dr. Freeman has been contemplating starting Steve on an antidepressant medication but he wanted to wait to see how severe it is and if he can pull out of this funk in a few days without one.

Steve ignores Danny when he enters again by pretending to be asleep. He is in need of some alone time but hasn't had more than a few minutes to himself at a time in the last few days. Usually he is either with his therapist or else Danny, Chin, or Kono are all here. Steve is starting to feel smothered by all the attention he is getting from Danny and the team.

Danny sits by Steve's bedside and silently watches as his partner and best friend pretends to be asleep. Steve's breathing isn't regular enough to be asleep and the furrowed brow is a dead give-away. After several long minutes Danny decides to leave for a while and give Steve some space.

"I'm gonna go home for the night, Steve. I'll be back sometime tomorrow." Danny says quietly as he heads for the door.

Danny hears a quiet, almost whispered thank you from Steve before the door closes. Danny sends out a text to Chin and Kono to let them know that Steve needs some time to himself and not to come visit until tomorrow.

Steve opens his eyes now that Danny is gone. He feels like a jerk for ignoring him to the point that Danny decided to leave but he can't help but feel relief at finally being alone for a while.

Steve thinks it's funny, he's woken up alone numerous times in hospitals before when he was injured on missions and never really had any regular visitors unless is team hadn't been reassigned yet; and now that he has people who care about him enough to come spend time with him in the hospital and has a support system for the rehab, he just wants time to himself. When he was in the hospital after missions, often in a remote place in some small country or at a military base overseas, he'd always long for his dad or Catherine or even Mary to be able to visit him and help him through it but no one was ever able to or allowed to come. Catherine was able to spend a day with him in a hospital in Africa once when the Enterprise was in port for a day but at the time he wasn't really able to converse. He'd been shot several times and had numerous other injuries; he was so doped up on painkillers that he hardly even realized she was there.

His thoughts are interrupted when the aide brings in his supper tray. Steve raises the head of his bed so he is sitting more upright and looks at the food before him. It actually doesn't look too bad today. Its roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans that don't look over cooked. He also got a small plate of strawberry shortcake. Even though, it looks like one of the most edible meals he's been served since he came into the hospital, he still doesn't really feel like eating at the moment. He knows he should though since he finally got the feeding tube removed and he still is underweight. Steve manages to eat a little over half of the meat and potatoes plus all of the green beans and the shortcake before calling it quits.

Steve is having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he now has epilepsy. He's angry and just wants his life to go back to normal. He knows that isn't possible though. His life will never be the same again, he will have to adjust his way of life and his exercise regimen and follow a strict medication schedule. Plus he won't have to fulfill his obligations to the Navy as a reservist. Steve enjoys his monthly reserve weekends; it feels good to go back to the structured way of life in the Navy every now and then. He likes getting away for a bit and spending time with people like him, people who don't question his military mentality they way Danny does. As much as Steve loves Danny and no matter how close of friends they are, Danny will never understand certain parts of Steve's personality.

Steve's thoughts are interrupted when Dr. Freeman enters the room.

"How are you feeling Steve?" Dr. Freeman asks as he picks up Steve's chart and starts paging through it.

"Ok."

It doesn't take more than a glance for the doctor to figure out that Steve is lying and is in a poor mood.

"Ok, how about this, is your head bothering you?"

Steve realizes Dr. Freeman isn't going to accept is platitudes for answers. He heaves a sigh before answering. "No, not really, it's just a dull headache."

"What about your neck?"

"It's throbbing."

Dr. Freeman nods, he expects Steve to have some pretty severe pain in his neck for a few days. "Do you have any pain anywhere else?"

"No just my neck. My arm hasn't hurt for several days and the bruises only hurt if they are touched." Steve's scrapes from the fall are pretty much healed up but he still has some deep bruises in a few places that hurt when pressure is applied to them.

"Good, how are you doing mentally and emotionally? Sarah tells me you sent Danny away."

"I didn't send him away," Steve says defensively. "I just wanted some alone time and didn't feel like having Danny around telling me that everything will be ok, so I pretended to be asleep until he decided to leave. I'm sick of everyone telling me it will be ok. They don't know that."

Freeman nods, "That's understandable. You have a lot to deal with right now."

Nothing is said for a few minutes while Dr. Freeman takes Steve's blood pressure and makes notations in the chart. Steve's blood pressure is a little high right now but the doctor isn't surprised considering Steve is worked up.

"Doc, what are the chances that the seizures will be able to be controlled with the meds?" Steve asks suddenly.

Freeman considers the question before answering, making sure to word his answer carefully. "Honestly, I can't give you a solid answer to that Steve. There are so many variables involved, not to mention there isn't a ton of research devoted to PTE. The fact that you didn't have a penetrating head injury works in your favor to the meds working. Right now my best guess is 50/50. Just because we haven't found a medication that works yet, doesn't mean we won't. Sometimes it takes a couple months to get the dose right. Don't get discouraged yet."

Steve takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He tries to nod after momentarily forgetting about the restricting brace around his neck. His emotions are all over the place right now so he just mutters, "ok."

"Now in the mean time, why don't we do something about the pain?" He takes a syringe and vile out of his lab coat pocket. "This might make you sleepy but you could use the extra rest right now." Dr. Freeman says as he fills the syringe before injecting it into the IV port in Steve's right arm.

It doesn't take long for the painkiller to take effect and for Steve to be pain free. Less than ten minutes after Dr. Freeman leaves Steve is deeply asleep, resting comfortably.

TBC

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