AN: It's late, but happy new year everyone! This chapter marks a point where I'm beginning to see the end of the story and it's a little slow but things are about to heat up and yes, I mean it in the way that I'm sure a number of you were anticipating on seeing by now. I can't say for sure how many chapters are left since this thing kind of ran away from my plotted outline, but I'm pleased with how it's going.
Youko played the beam of light across the room, trying to locate the fire demon. He had a moment of stabbing shock when he did find Hiei and nearly dropped the light. Hiei winced in pain as the light hit his eyes. It made the crimson spark brighter into a paler, almost ghostly, tone that was a little bit disconcerting. The part that shocked him the most, though he should have been expecting it, was that he had walked in on Hiei naked. It felt like something in his brain short-circuited and robbed him of all his intelligence.
While Youko had known Hiei was muscled, it was obvious from his arms, and had seen the photographs of him—only a couple had been Hiei shirtless; there was nothing that had prepared him at all for the reality. Scars crossed over clearly visible muscle and Hiei's torso moved noticeably with each breath. Holy shit. I guess he is very well built. He could lay that question to rest forever now. A chuckle sounded in the back of his mind, but he was too distracted to really care.
"Do you mind getting the light out of my eyes? And, I don't know, not staring at me like you've never seen me before." Hiei's trademark anger was back. He glared as best as he could with his eyes squinted nearly shut. The flashlight apparently was one of the higher power ones that Kurama kept around the house. Hiei had never really been curious enough to figure out what that had meant but now he had a pretty good guess. The brightness from the light had pain lancing through his skull and starting up a headache already. It was distracting enough that he didn't have any attention to spare for feeling embarrassed. He had never in his life been bared before anyone other than Mukuro—which had not been his choice at all seeing as he had been pretty damn close to dying at the time, and the obvious Ice Maidens when he was born. Truthfully, he didn't really have a choice in how this had played out now but he felt like he should have taken some manner of precautions. Like locking the door or something. His brain was a little frazzled at the moment because he had never quite been in such an awkward situation. He abruptly shifted into a more dignified position, anything to not be sprawled across the floor of the shower like a drunkard.
"Sorry." Youko shifted the light away from Hiei and turned his head to the side. The wall was a much better thing to stare at and a lot less likely to try to kill him later. Even if it wasn't nearly as enthralling to watch. Stop it. He's a telepath, remember. Youko took a steadying breath and forced himself back into calmness. "I'll leave the light on the counter. There's enough ambient light in the living room to see by." He gently placed the black plastic flashlight down, made sure it wasn't going to roll off the edge, and walked out of the room. He knew he was running away and he couldn't care less. Life preservation is more important than curiosity or pride.
Hiei sighed softly as the door quietly shut behind the retreating fox. He was more resigned than anything else right now. There was no undoing what had happened and, truth be told, it wasn't really the worst thing that could have happened. The look of shock that had crossed Youko's face had been enough to keep Hiei from getting mad. It was kind of gratifying to see. To Hiei, it just meant that maybe the fox wasn't as composed as he normally liked to be. Or maybe he just liked what he saw. Hiei had no real idea and he wasn't going to resort to telepathy to find out. He was curious not stupid. A powerful demon like Youko would undoubtedly feel him trying to slip into his head and that would do nothing good for Hiei's new resolve to try to be nicer. He would simply just watch and wait.
Hiei emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, flashlight turned off, and quietly walked into the sitting area to set it on one of the end tables. The storm was still going strong outside and the intermittent flashes of lightning temporarily blinded him a couple times—when they struck near enough to be heard. He tuned out the thunder for the most part. Only the abnormally loud booms were given much notice. It was the wind that Hiei heard more than anything. It sounded like it was trying to batter its way into the apartment or tear it down. He had memories of sitting through similar storms in demon world, usually hidden away in a cave, and he still didn't like them. Not even now, when he was far more protected. There was an idle thought wondering how Youko felt about storms but it was quickly passed off as not necessary to know.
Hiei found Youko curled up in his usual chair, staring outside. The fox hadn't even looked up at the sound of the flashlight being put on the table, but one silver ear was turned towards Hiei. I guess he knows I'm here, at least. There wasn't really anything Hiei could think of to say, so he kept quiet and wandered into the kitchen. He had no idea why he even went into there, besides that the awkward silence definitely felt odd and he didn't want to be the one to break it. Never mind that he had never liked talking much to begin with. So, he pretended to be digging around in the cupboards for something, just so he didn't look silly, and ended up pulling out a bottle of water from the fridge. A shiver crawled its way down his back when the cold air hit his still damp hair and where the water from it had dampened his skin. Nothing else caught his attention so he closed the fridge after grabbing a second water bottle and headed back into the sitting area.
Youko looked up when Hiei came back into the room after a detour into the kitchen. A bottle of water entered his sight and he took it with a small smile. He had been wondering what was going on in Hiei's head but knew better than to ask. Hiei would either scoff or not talk. He only mentioned personal stuff when it was dragged out of him or he had no choice but to divulge it. Youko didn't mind. A challenge was a challenge and he had been working on this one for years. Patience was the best strategy with Hiei and it seemed that it had been paying off, if the little demon's attachment to Kurama was any indication. It was now a matter of getting him through his reluctance in dealing with him, with Youko. That was the final preparation needed before everything fell into place and he could make the last move. It would set the rest in motion and after that it was all up to Hiei.
They sat in silence for a while longer, each sneaking glances at the other when they could and averting their eyes if they were caught. Youko caught a small smirk on Hiei's face when he risked another look from the corner of his eye and he rolled his eyes to himself in amusement. He hadn't realized that they had turned it into a sort of game but it was entertaining. Who would catch who? I certainly am better than to be caught openly staring. Youko stretched, his arms straining for the ceiling, and yawned slightly. Despite sleeping, he was still tired. Perhaps sleeping at the desk hadn't been the best idea. Not that it had been my intention. A glance told him that Hiei was now studying a loose threat on the black shirt he was wearing. It was amusing to see him doing something so tame. He's so much better suited for fighting but I must admit that watching him do 'human' things has its own endearing charm.
Hiei knew Youko was watching him when it looked like he wasn't watching. He could feel the weight of those golden eyes on him and he wondered what thoughts were running through the fox's head. Hiei himself couldn't stop looking over the fox whenever Youko wasn't looking. Half the time, he was wondering what Youko was thinking and the rest of the time was spent trying to figure out how he felt. There was an odd sense of, dare he say it, happiness that spiked up every time he felt Youko watching him. Worry, also, was present. Worry that Youko somehow found him lacking—though he had no idea what he would be lacking in, besides the 'visible emotions' category and 'easy conversation partner'. Anger followed fast because he didn't know why he really cared. Even though he had a pretty good idea why it bothered him. He simply wanted to deny it. He had been denying it for so long that he had almost convinced himself but then Kurama had to go and get himself hurt badly enough that this whole thing had happened. Hiei sighed to himself. I wonder how long it'll take to shut this back down again? He hadn't even been completely successful with hiding how much he worried over Yukina and he had been at that almost his entire life.
"Sorry about earlier."
Hiei blinked and looked over at Youko in surprise. He honestly hadn't expected the silence to get broken so soon and definitely not with an apology. He stared for a moment before shrugging and making a noncommittal noise. It must have satisfied Youko because he remained silent for a while after that. Hiei almost asked a question of the fox, just so that he would talk before cutting himself off. He didn't want to trigger anything with Youko by suddenly changing his behavior around him. Youko was smart enough to pick up on it and Hiei wanted to work from a much subtler way. It would be embarrassing to seem like all the past anger and caution had dissipated so quickly. Hiei didn't want to admit that he had grown used to being around Youko and had started to become more relaxed around him. No doubt that Youko had already noticed anyway and just chose not to say anything. Hiei didn't want to know why.
The silence between the two demons had become more companionable than awkward now. They were still sneaking looks at one another when they could and pretending to watch the storm between. Youko brushed a chunk of his hair over his shoulder, away from his face, and sighed. He liked silence as much as anyone but right now, when his mind was running through too many questions and scenarios, he wished Hiei was more of a talkative type. Maybe then he would stop thinking about how to get the dark demon to like him. Maybe he could stop replaying every little flitter of emotion across Hiei's face those first few weeks, the amusement and scorn, the resignation and hope, now that he understood more. Maybe he could stop dwelling on what had just happened not even a half hour ago. Some small part of him had wondered if the Hiei now could compare to the Hiei in his memories. Well, he had his answer. The Hiei currently pretending to ignore him was much better than the one of his memories. Probably because he's actually here and not inside my head.
"You're sighing a lot." Hiei kept his crimson eyes locked on Youko's face, watching as the fox started and looked up to meet his eyes. Hiei ignored the twinge in his chest as Youko tilted his head to the side, like a confused dog.
"I am? I didn't even notice…." Youko shrugged and furrowed his eyebrows. He was surprised that Hiei had initiated conversation and a conversation about something trivial. "Sorry. I was just lost in thought." A smile slipped onto Youko's face as he realized the perfect game that he could play with his short-tempered companion.
He's going to want to kill you when he realizes what you're doing…. Youko snorted to himself. He liked danger and he had a very good feeling that Hiei wouldn't actually try to kill him in the end.
If he does, that means he'd lose his friend as well. I think that I am, in fact, quite safe from untimely death.
Perhaps, but he could still maim you.
Youko chose to ignore that comment in favor of stretching out and draping his arms over the back of his chair, legs fully extended in front of him. A slight shiver ran through him as his shirt rode up on his stomach and chillier air slipped over his exposed skin. He turned his head enough to look at Hiei with one eye. He concentrated for a moment because anything less than perfection would ruin his entire scheme.
"I'm afraid to ask about what." Hiei's tone was rather dry and he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Anything that goes on in your head probably is either something I don't care about or something that I wouldn't understand." A wry smirk was starting to form on Hiei's lips when he met Youko's not so golden eyes. A shocked little inhalation and a widening of crimson eyes was the most he was capable of, having been rendered speechless. He had to be imagining that overtone of emerald in Youko's eyes. He had to be. There had been no indication that Kurama was resurfacing, that Youko remembered much of anything, that something had shifted with the situation at all in the time spent in the flat. It had to be a trick of the light. Maybe I have a concussion from hitting my head on the bathtub. Yes, that has to be it. I hit my head hard enough to make me see things. Perfectly reasonable explanation. I'll be fine by tomorrow.
"Oh, just a guy. Though, you're probably right in that it's likely something you wouldn't understand." Youko chose a half-truth as his answer. Those were the easiest things to play off because it was both truth and lie. Yes, he was thinking about a guy. But Hiei would never suspect who it was. And, at the same time, Youko had much more running through his head. But this was the answer that Hiei would least expect and Youko wanted to play around a little to see just how far he could get Hiei to go. This is already fun. He looks so confused. Hiei's mouth had actually opened a little bit at Youko's answer and it looked like he was in the middle of re-forming his own thoughts. A snicker nearly slipped through Youko's control but he managed to turn it into a clearing of his throat at the last minute.
Hiei could only come up with a response that was another of his usual sounds. How was he supposed to react to something that made it sound like Youko was making fun of him? Though, it also sounded like Youko had figured out something that had been bothering Hiei for a long time. The same thing that he had been trying to deny the existence of for a while now. Ever since Kurama had vanished. I really dislike the observant types. The way Youko was acting reminded Hiei a lot of Kuwabara when he figured out a secret that one of the others had. Smug bastard. What are you thinking that you know? There was no way that Youko could have figured out that Hiei missed Kurama more than he was letting on. Let alone that Hiei had come to realize that maybe, possibly, his feelings were far deeper than he had ever thought. It was a weakness that he never wanted. He had kept Yukina at a guarded distance so that she would never be targeted because of him. She was safe because he never divulged their familial ties. She was the secret he knew he had. Kurama, however, was a secret that Hiei had never realized that he even had.
Youko took in the twisted look on Hiei's face and braced himself for damage control. Hiei looked like he was fighting between being offended, suspicious, furious, and horrified all at once. There was no real knowing for certain what was going on in his head but Youko knew he had to do something to twist the situation back into his favor. He couldn't risk putting Hiei off this fast. "I don't mean anything by it. You just don't look like someone who plays on his own team, if you know what I mean." Youko let his ears sag and pull backwards as he dropped his eyes onto the floor in an air of apology. He could almost see the gears turning in Hiei's head now, see him working things out.
"I've never thought about it." Hiei decided that a short answer would be the best for right now. It was true, he hadn't thought about it because he had never once imagined that he would be in a situation where he was looking for anything that might potentially become committed. Sure, he'd had the rare one night stand in his past and he never really thought about it afterward. None of the demons had mattered to him and he'd never really had a preference in gender. The casual flings had ceased once he had befriended the younger Kurama and embroiled himself in his search for Yukina in earnest. Since then, he'd never really cared for something so baseless. Hiei felt something akin to being doused with cold water as a realization hit him in the face. Fuck, I love him, don't I? And I'm starting to warm up to the damn Youko as well. Holy shit this is bad. Hiei could feel the panic welling up but he pushed it back down behind his flat expression. He wouldn't panic. He was better than that. But how do you hide a secret that you never realized you had to begin with? And who's figured it out already?
Youko let the conversation slip into silence again. He could see Hiei getting lost in his own thoughts and wished, for a moment, that he could see into the other's mind. He wanted to know what was going on in his head so badly.
But then playing games wouldn't be any fun, having all the winning cards already, would it?
No, I suppose not. I just hope he's thinking the right thoughts or I'll need another plan. Not that I don't have a couple others already anyway.
Youko loved games. He had never played one with stakes this high before. One wrong move and he would ruin more than his own tenuous relationship with the fire demon. He could very easily shatter the close friendship that Kurama shared with Hiei. One bad move and he could screw up the entire group dynamic and no one would know why, because Kurama would never really say what had happened. No, this game would be the best one yet. Youko would win and, in a way, so would Hiei in the end.
AN: I am so, so sorry for how long this has taken me. I really am. I had a lot of shit go down on me in the last month.
I got a job at Wal-Mart, which has no set schedule so my hours are all over the place, and it's been eating my time and energy. On Dec 26th, my grandmother passed away while I was at work. I found out when I arrived home and that screwed me up for a little while. In the weeks after that, my cousin has proved that we (meaning mom, dad, and I) can only trust each other and not anyone else in the 'family' because she's screwed us over so hard with the aftermath of gram dying.
It's not all bad news, at least. I bought myself two betta fish. A red crowntail male that I've called Kyo (reference to Samurai Deeper Kyo) and a blue crowntail male called Mizuchi. They both like to stare at me and creep me out...
Not that any of you really wanted to read all that or were interested.