I was left in the motel for the investigation and probably this entire case. I didn't mind though.
They'd be in touch and they weren't going to leave. I knew everything anyway. While they were gone I scrolled through websites and played trivial games. I knew it wasn't going to be too much waiting, really. Everything was completely different online. Different facts but a lot of the same celebrities. I wondered, if I did go back, would anyone believe me? I sighed and found myself staring at the TV screen.
The boys didn't come back until late that night, by then, I had gotten it in my head that no one would be missing me and that I was better off forgetting home. When they came in, I just greeted with a simple, "Hey."
"Hey," Sam said. "Sorry about the long day."
"It's okay." I answered with a small smile. I had been watching Doctor Sexy and had been finding out why Dean watched it. They had brought take out back with them but I wasn't too hungry so I avoided the table, eyes lingering on the figure on the screen. Sam threw his jacket over the back of the chair and sat down at the table, reading through the Detroit Daily news archives on his laptop.
"Elizabeth Duren, killed 10 years ago when a neighbor backed out of his driveway. Didn't see her bike. No one was ever charged." Sam was saying. "Police ruled it an accident."
"Let me guess. The neighbor's our tenth-floor pancake." I glanced at Sam after Dean made his statement and Sam nodded.
"At least we know he felt bad. I mean, the flowers..."
"Kind of makes you wonder if the guy wasn't drunk when he ran her over." Dean looked down to the beer bottle in his hand.
"Yeah. All right. Well, regardless, now that we got a decent bead on ghost rider, let's go."
"What?"
"Burn her bones. Put her to rest."
"The fun never stops." Dean answered before glancing at me. "You gonna be fine for another hour or so?"
"I'm a teenager. I'll throw a party while you're out." I grinned my biggest, shit-eating grin and Dean let out a puff of air and shook his head, Sam smiling. "I'll be fine." Sam closed his laptop and grabbed his jacket and Dean nodded, standing up and ruffling my hair. "You have got to stop doing that!" I laughed trying to organize my hair again.
"Why?" Dean answered with a grin and ruffled my hair again before I swatted his hand away.
"Go!" I laughed and fixed my hair as he raised his hands in surrender.
"We're going, we're going. Lock the door."
"Duh." I answered, still grinning. I got up and locked the door before sitting on the bed and switching through the channels. My heart ached for normality like that. Unlike every story about badass girls doing things, I had a normal childhood for the most part. I had a single mother for most my life until my mother married her bestfriend a year ago and they chose to adopt a baby. I love my step mother and my sister and my mother. There were hardly any fights but that's all that happens here. We lived in a small house in a friendly neighborhood. I've lost that normal feeling. In fact, I'd like to be holding my baby sister, she's only 2 when I got here. I know that Sam and Dean don't actually know how to get me home, but they will just argue if I tell them I know. I turned off the tv and laid in the dark, unable to sleep for awhile, thinking how much I would give to go home. I wondered if my family had given up on finding me if they even believed I was out there. I fell asleep to the sound of the ceiling fan buzzing and when I woke up it was morning. I wondered if they had come in and left alright but I didn't care to get up and instead, curled up in the blanket tighter. The door opened and I just let my eyes stay shut and hopefully dream of home again.
"Oh, another night at the office. Why don't you take the first shower?" Dean said, probably forgetting I was there or forgetting that I may be asleep.
"Listen to this. 'A local man, Christopher Fisher, was ripped to shreds in a wild animal attack last night."
"It's a dangerous world out there." Dean replied and I heard the other bed squeak as he flopped onto it followed by the sound of a chair being pulled backwards.
"He was in the restroom of a diner."
"Yeah, that doesn't sound right?"
"Apparently, uh, no of the patrons saw anything. Guy calls 911 screaming about a dog but the operator didn't hear anything, either." Sam paused a moment before adding, "Wow. Looks like this guy had a history with dogs."
"Meaning?"
"Five years ago he was arrested for running a dog-fighting operation." The bed creaked as Dean got up.
"Classy. All right. So, what? He causes so much misery that some Rottweiler goes Cujo on him from beyond the grave? Wait a second. Do... do dogs even have ghosts?"
"First I've heard of it."
"That sounds weird. Ghost dog?"
"No weirder than ghost car, you know?"
"You know what does make sense? Vengeance on the guy that Michael Vick'd you. I mean, I'm not one to judge, but it sounds to me like that guy had it coming."
"Maybe...But maybe not. So, he got busted, got probation, started volunteering at an animal shelter."
"Yeah, 'cause he had to."
"At first, yeah. But he kept going long after he served his time. Looks like he got really into it. Raised a lot of money for the cause."
"Huh."
"People change."
"Yeah, tell that to ghost dog."
"All right. Uh, get suited up. Let's go check out the body."
"What?"
"What?"
"What?" I felt like I could laugh as I thought back to one particular moment with them going 'A wall? A wall.' repeatedly but I kept silent and kept my eyes shut.
"Nothing. I... You okay?" Sam asked.
"Peachy. Yeah, let's do this." Dean answered but it was quiet for just a moment but Dean then asked softly, "What do you think it's like for her?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, she probably had a normal childhood unlike us. But now she's not even in the same world as everyone she grew up with. Plus she's still a kid herself."
"It's probably the hardest thing she's ever done. It's a completely different environment and she's a sweet kid." He hesitated and I felt a slight pull of sleep. "Honestly? I wish she wasn't with us. Like.. I want her to have normal everything. Maybe we could take to Jody-"
"And say what, exactly?"
"Ask her if it's okay if Liz lives with her? I mean, she was a mother once, not to a teen, but she'd probably be more than comfortable taking care of Liz."
"Yeah, no. You'd have to convince Elizabeth first. I don't see that happening easily." Dean sighed and I shifted onto my back. It was that sort of moment when you're awake, yet everything doesn't register around you. There was a little bit of noise and then the blanket was pulled up to my shoulders.
"At least someone got some sleep." Sam commented quietly. "Leave the note on the lampshade."
~~O~~
When I awoke later on, they were gone again and it was nearly ten in the morning. There was a twenty on the table and a note that said, "There is a diner across the street, go eat. Be back later." I sighed and looked out of the window and across the road. It looked like a nice diner but I wasn't ready to go anywhere or brush my hair for that matter which, at the moment, looked like a birds nest. I decided to pocket the cash and save it for a time when it would be needed before sitting down in front of the laptop and going online.
After about an hour of meaningless scrolling through websites, I figured I'd get dressed, not that I had much to change into. I threw on my jeans and t-shirt, pulling a brush through my hair and putting it up in a messy bun before sitting back down at the table. From where I sat, I could see the television and I did have the remote so I turned it on and watched whatever came on first. It was some cooking show that I was positive I'd seen before. I listened to the TV and found a game of tetris battle online and played for a little bit. It was only three hours after I had woken up and Sam and Dean came back with a man who was beginning to go gray but I couldn't remember his name. He sat on the edge of the bed and I looked over as Sam handed the man a glass of water.
"So, Warren. Just, uh, take a minute. Tell us what's going on." Sam said.
"Look- you're good people, I can see that, but you can't do anything for me. No one can."
"Why not?" Dean asked.
"Cause it's all impossible. You won't even believe me."
"Well, try us."
"I was just put on trial and sentenced to death."
"What'd you do?"
"Held up a liquor store. I killed the owner and his wife. I wasn't thinking. I was young."
"Young? When was this?"
"1981."
"And they just put you on trial?"
"No, no, I just got out of prison."
"Okay, you're making less sense the more you talk." Dean said as he got up from the chair, Sam stood as well but held an arm out to stop Dean.
"No, it's okay. Just...go on." Sam said to Warren. I sat quietly trying to remember exactly how this one goes.
"Did 30 years. I just got paroled. Not that you're ever free of that. I think about it every day."
"So, then, what were you running from?"
"Well, I told you – the trial! All I know is one minute I'm at the bar, and the next I get jumped, wake up in a damn courtroom."
"Courtroom? Like a...courtroom?" Dean asked and I rolled my eyes. Sometimes what they said made it seem like they literally lost their entire thought process.
"Well, no. There was a judge. Everything was crazy. It was in a barn."
"At the apple farm?" Sam questioned.
"Yeah."
"And this bar where you were grabbed?"
"Neal's Tavern." Warred said and Sam turned to Dean.
"Same place Matthew Hammond went before his...car accident. Think that maybe dog guy went there, too?" He turned back to Warren. "Is there anything else you can tell us?"
"You believe me?" Warren asked. "Who the hell are you?"
"We kind of...specialize in crazy. So, uh, this judge – he got a name?"
"No. But there was these weird symbols."
"Symbols? Do you remember and of 'em? Can you draw them?" I got up and handed Sam some paper and a pencil and he passed them to Warren.
"Excuse us a sec." Dean said before turning to Sam. "Can I talk to you?" Sam nodded and glanced at Warren before following Dean outside. I sat and watched Warren draw unsure of what I am supposed to do now or if I should say anything. It was a few minutes before Sam returned, alone.
"What's going on? Where'd he go?" Warren asked worridly.
"He, uh, Everything's fine. Look, let's go back to that farm."
"Oh, no, no. No, I'm not going back."
"Warren, I need your help finding that barn."
"It's red – it stands out. I'm not going back. They're out there." He seemed frightened and I would be too if someone was trying to kill me- oh wait, no, they're just searching for me. They haven't gotten me yet. No, instead they're interested in me but still want to kill the Winchesters. Wonder how that works out.
"Who?"
"The people I killed. I just – no. No!"
"Look, you're safer with me than not."
"No."
"Okay." Sam said and it seemed he'd given up. He snatched the paper that Warren had drawn on and grabbed a container of salt and began to pour it in a circle around the chair Warren sat in. "Fine. I need you to stay inside this circle until I get back, okay? It'll protect you."
"How?"
"Just trust me, okay? I'm trying to help." He said and he turned on the TV and tossed the remote to Warren. "Stay put." He said and pulled out his phone to make a call. "Bobby? Hey. Me. Listen – I'm sending you some symbols to look up." He looked to Warren and mouthed 'stay put' and I quickly jumped up and followed Sam out of the room as he hung up. "Where are you going?"
"I'd rather not stay...besides you said 'safer with you than not'. Please, Sam." I said biting my lip. I really didn't want to stay there as I didn't know Warren and I wasn't sure I wanted to stick around with ghosts trying to kill him. I knew technically Sam was a murderer, but I knew more about him than the guy in the room and so I opted for Sam. His face contorted as he contemplated his answer.
"Look," He said as he faced me and I watched as his eyes lost their edge and he gave in. "Fine. Just...here." He handed me a gun and I shook my head, I didn't want to use a gun because they weren't my strong suit. "You need to have it. You remember how to use it?" I nodded and begrudgingly took the weapon. "Good, let's go."
On the drive to the apple farm I watched everything outside go by and listened to Sam's little comments and reminders which were somewhat entertaining because I had been out on things like this before but he acted like a concerned parent. When we reached the barn and got out of the car, he tossed me a flashlight as it was dark. I kept behind Sam kinda put off by the whole ominous look but knowing it wouldn't be bad here at least not yet. The floor in the barn was red dirt and I kicked it, but not much of a dust cloud arose because, as I learned in Spanish class the other year, it was the type of dirt that reduces dust clouds therefore, when fighting bulls, there isn't dust circulating through the air. Sam's phone rang and I jumped.
"Hey, Bobby, what do ya got?" He answered. "So, good news then." There was a rather long pause and I turned and glanced around the barn at every detail. "So what's he doing in Dearborn?...Yeah. We've got to find him before he goes underground again." Sam frowned and hung up the phone before dialing another number multiple times and I knew it was Dean he was trying to get a hold of. He'd already left two messages and we began to walk out of the barn and back to the car. "Dude, third message. You better not be loaded. Call me. This is important." He said and hung up only to answer it just a minute later. "Dean. About time, man. I – Who is this?...yeah." He looked to me nervously before asking. "Where are you? I can be right there." After he hung up we both got in the car and took off to the tavern. I stayed hidden in the backseat as Sam talked to the girl...Mia, I think her name was. Sam spoke a minute longer before he bent down to the ground and frowned. He said a few more words before getting back in the car and driving away.
"He's at the barn. We could have stayed!" He said angrily as he slammed his palm against the steering wheel. He sped up and drove back to the barn. "Stay in the car." He instructed and I nodded. I didn't listen, of course. After he went in, I grabbed the gun and a flashlight and followed him. He stood at the door and Sam listened more intently and looked a bit stunned.
"Speaking of...you're gonna skulk all night, Sam?" The voice asked and the door opened. Sam moved in and I moved forward, seeing part of the room.
"Sam?" Dean asked.
"Nice job finding us. I assume you figured out who I am, too?"
"Yeah." Sam answered and I stayed hidden behind the door as I head him move away.
"You want to fill me in?" Dean asked.
"Osiris. He's an Egyptian God."
"Ta-da! Now, go about your business, Sammy."
"Look, if anyone should be on trial, it's me."
"That's for me to decide. Now go away."
"But he – he has the right to an attorney. Doesn't he?"
"Huh."
"Let me defend him."
"Well, that's unusual."
"Are you gonna respect his rights or not?"
"Why not?"
"Uh, Sam? You're not a lawyer." Dean said.
"I was pre-law."
"Yeah, pre."
"The young girl." He started. "Well, come on already." I bit my lip and walked around the door and I saw the Winchester's look nervously at me and then back at the God. I stood with my eyes downcast and avoided their gazes. "You shall sit over here." He stated and motion to the ground just a few feet from his throne. I walked by the Winchesters with my head bowed slightly as I went to sit down. "All right, then. Let's get started. Now, the list of witnesses I can call – endless." Osiris began.
"Objection!" Sam interjected.
"Are you gonna let me finish my sentence, Sam?"
"No. This isn't fair." He answered and Osiris scoffed.
"Fair? I'm sorry. Moving on. I can make it very simple. Three witnesses."
"Objection!"
"Grounds?"
"Witness is being called without prior notice."
"Good one." Dean said.
"I saw that on 'The Good Wife'."
"Yes. Very fine objection. Denied!" Osiris stated.
"What, why?"
"Because I'm the judge, son. Now stop objecting or I'll find you in contempt – that is, kill you. So I advise you to let me move it along. The prosecution calls Joanna Beth Harvelle to the stand." I looked away as I really didn't want to see Jo's ghost. She was one of my favorite characters and I wasn't fond of this.
"Jo?" Dean asked.
"Dean. Sam. Long time." Jo replied and Osiris beckoned her to take the seat near his throne. I could see Jo head towards the witness chair but she was faded.
"State your name for the court."
"Jo Harvelle."
"And...What is your relationship to Dean Winchester?"
"We worked together."
"Isn't it true that you admired him?"
"Well, as a hunter...yeah. As a guy, he was kind of a jerk." I glanced towards Dean and saw he looked somewhat hurt by her statement.
"So you saw him as a mentor of sorts?"
"I wouldn't put it like that."
"How would you put it?"
"I don't know. I trusted him. So if you're trying to say that he was a bad guy or something-"
"Was it hard?"
"What?"
"Working with him...considering your feelings."
"No. What feelings?"
"You would have done quite a bit for him – followed him into any battle."
"I know what you're getting at, and it's bull."
"So Dean had nothing to do with your first case, the one that it all."
"It wasn't like that."
"No feelings. None at all. You would have chosen the same exact road. Ended up in that hardware store, holding the fuse."
"Oh, you're a piece of work. You know that? Putting words in her mouth -" Dean interrupted and Osiris gestured at Dean and I saw Dean visibly gulp and nearly pushed myself over at his uncomfortable look.
"Keep him under control counsel...or I'll remove his tongue." Osiris made another gesture and I turned away once again. It was hard to see Jo without even getting a chance to meet her and I wish I had. Osiris looked to Sam and said "Your witness." And I watched Sam move closer to Jo.
"Jo. So, um...your dad...was in the life?"
"Yes, he was."
"And your relationship with him?"
"Good, I mean.."
"You idolized him."
"Basically."
"So why'd you start? To impress some loudmouth ass you just met...Or 'cause you wanted to be like your dad?"
"Daddy issues. Definitely. Listen, Dean, I don't-" Osiris cut her off and I shut my eyes and hugged my knees.
"All right. You two can have a moment to strategize. And then I'll call my next witness." He said with his eyes locked on Dean as Sam took his seat once more.
"All right, who's the next witness? He looked at you like you'd know."
"I got no clue. This whole thing's like a friggin' episode of 'Pee-Wee's Playhouse'."
"Next witness! The prosecution calls... Sam Winchester to the stand." Osiris interrupted again. He gestured to the witness's chair and I wished I could avoid looked at them as Sam went up to the chair. "Sam... Not exactly the life you expected, is it?"
"Details a little different."
"For a while there you were gonna be a real lawyer. Marry Jess."
"Yeah, that was a long time ago."
"But were you or were you not happily out of the family racket until Dean showed back up in that gas guzzler? Ah-ah. The truth, now."
"It's complicated."
"That one act had quite a domino effect. Come back, your girl's dead."
"Well, that wasn't his fault."
"Sure and neither is everything that came after – all the death and the blood and hanging on by a thread. None of that is on Dean directly." Osiris paused, "But don't you think that your brother dragged you back into that Catastrophic mess because he'd rather damn you with him than be alone?" It was silent for a while and I frowned.
"No. One way or another, I'd have gotten pulled back in."
"You know that for certain?"
"Pretty sure."
"Pretty sure."
"I'm positive."
"I believe you. Hey, if it was about convincing me, I would say..."
"What?"
"I don't decide anything, Sam. I don't decide Dean's guilt. I just weigh the guilt that's already there. This is solely about how Dean feels, way down deep. Them's the breaks."
"Wait. So if Dean believes he's innocent, then he is?"
"If. A big if. Why do I bring up the past? To see if he feels like dog food about it. People want to be judged. They really do. When your heart's heavy, let me tell you, real punishment's a mercy."
"I want to call Dean to the stand."
"Oh, you do, now? There is an order to this stuff, you know. Okay. I'll allow it." He snapped and I heard shackles and chains fall away. After a minute things picked back up.
"So, Dean. When you came and got me, did you know Jess would die? Or any of it?"
"'Course not."
"Right. How could you? I mean, are you psychic?" There was a pause and Sam added, "That's a question."
"No. Uh, definitely no psychic."
"Great. So why would you feel guilty about not predicting the future?"
"Yeah, I guess that doesn't make any sense. Actually, yeah, no, I don't."
"What about Jo? Did you actually kill her?"
"Uh, no."
"Isn't it true that you don't feel guilty about her – that you're just...sad she's dead? That it just...blows?"
" Actually...Maybe, yeah."
"Mm-mm-mm. I like your style, Sam. Very engaging." Osiris butted in.
"Dean. Does any of this feel like it's really...on you?"
"Not really."
"Then is your heart heavy with guilt or just plain heavy and none of this guy's business?"
"Uh, what you said – the second thing."
"The I rest my case."
"Very good.. Both you. All right. Because I really enjoyed that, I'm gonna be generous and ask – Dean, do you want me to call my last witness? Or have we had enough?" Dean sighed heavily listening to Osiris.
"What the hell's he talking about?" Sam asked.
"Enough Ally McBealing. Just drop the hammer, will ya?" Dean urged.
"Wait, Dean, he's giving us more time!"
"You need another moment? You done?" Osiris commented before banging his staff three times on the ground. "The court's reached a verdict. I find you, Dean Winchester, guilty in your heart... and sentence you to die. I'd suggest you get your affairs in order quickly-"
"Wait!" I shouted and all eyes shot to me as I pushed myself off the ground.
"What is it, child?" Osiris asked as his eyes narrowed.
"Elizabeth, no." Dean said sternly.
"I know Dean Winchester more than you can imagine and he doesn't deserve death."
"And why do you believe that?"
"Because when Sam was a child do you know who watched out for him? John Winchester? No. It was Dean."
"And you know this how?"
"I'm like you. Not from here." I spoke confidently and walked in front of him. "John was the worst father the boys could have had and the only reason Sam was safe was because Dean took it upon himself to care for his baby brother. He lost his own childhood in doing so. And there are so many other people and a few they haven't met yet, like Charlie and Kevin, that know exactly who Dean Winchester is. He's a stubborn, lying, ass, sure. But you're looking at the corner of the frame. You have to look at the entire painting to determine who this man is."
"And-"
"I'm not done!" I growled and he actually seemed to grow interested and angry simultaneously. "Those two that I mentioned became part of the Winchester family because Dean cares. He thinks, or will think, of both of them as siblings and he'll care for them like he has Sam. Like he has me. He isn't heartless, or soulless and you should believe me on that. He's been broken and beaten and in messed up places and sure he's killed but you are only looking at that. You haven't looked at those he's also saved." I took a breath and glanced back at Sam and Dean who looked a little shocked and concerned. "You gave him three witnesses and he denied your third, but what about me? Don't I count?"
"Hmmm." Osiris seemed to think about it before he nodded to the witness's chair. I moved over swiftly and sat down. For once, I didn't shake and my voice wasn't quiet. I was angered and I knew the truth.
"State your name."
"Elizabeth Winche-"
"Real name, child."
"Elizabeth Ann Cinder."
"Do you believe, that for Dean Winchester, the good weighs out the bad?"
"Absolutely. If you were convicting him because of his killings, Sam would be on trial too. More than half of the ones he killed, they weren't human and if they were, they were poison themselves. He feels guilty because humans have a tendency to take the guilt upon themselves even when they aren't to blame. To save a life sometimes you have to take a life. It isn't always at the same time, but it's not like he killed at random."
"Isn't it true you tried to ask him not to kill?"
"It is, but he doesn't see things my way. He sees things his way. He's been hunting monsters longer than I've been alive and he knows what they are capable of. I don't know all monsters and their killing potential. I have never shot one or stabbed one. I've never been a killer."
"Hasn't he put you into dangerous situations?"
"No."
"The truth, child."
"He hasn't put me into any dangerous situations. I've put myself in those situations because I thought I could help. I've never been forced into these situations nor have I tried to back out. I know what I've gotten myself into and I know that there is always the potential of dying."
"And aren't you frightened of that?"
"No. Do I look frightened? I get scared. But you know what? Death is an interesting being so maybe I'll just get a chance to say hi."
"What is your relation to Dean Winchester."
"Non-specific."
"And what does that mean?"
"Here, it means I am his friend, his charge, his child."
"And... there?"
"It's unclear where there is at the moment, but I'm nobody to him because he only exists in fiction and so do you."
"I've never been a work of-"
"You are. And now you're judge, jury, and executioner.. but why?"
"Enough."
"You are but a child
"No, I'm not done." I growled again, standing. "You don't scare me, Osiris. These people have made up for what they have done and they've corrected their ways and you send them right to death's front door for the reapers to pick them up and carry them away when they could do more good than bad now. They know what their mistakes are and they were making up for them. There's people who don't feel an ounce of guilt yet have killed so many people. Why do you think you have to punish the ones who realize that what they are guilty of was wrong and not those that don't believe that they did anything wrong by their actions? They're punishing themselves on the inside and making up for their wrong doings on the outside. How does that make you any better than them?"
"Do you have a death wish?"
"Possibly. Maybe I'm just tired of gods and high powered beings thinking they have the right to decide everything." I stepped down and away from his throne. "Lucifer, Osiris, God, Death, War, Famine, Pestilence... What is it with you all and using your power like you are everything? At least Death and God don't really show their importance like the rest of you. Death, well he'll get everyone eventually. And God's gone off the grid. So what makes you so special?" I stood closer to Sam and Dean by now but as he stood I felt my chest tighten and the ability to draw a breath was becoming harder.
"Enough. Why do you know all the answers yet don't act on them? Maybe it should be you on trial."
"Osiris, stop! She's a fifteen year old girl and she hasn't done anything like murder!" Sam said rushing to my side as I fell to my knees trying to get more air into my lungs.
"No, but it seems what she knows could save many, enough to save the lives you two take."
"But that doesn't mean anything. She has tried but it goes how she's seen it. It isn't her fault."
"Then why does she feel guilty?"
"She's a kid! She doesn't need to be killed, dude!" Dean interjected.
"My verdict stands for Dean." He said and snapped and I felt my chest loosen up as I pushed myself off the ground and glared at him. "Be glad I didn't take your case." I didn't wait for either of them, I stumbled out of the room unevenly and got into the backseat of the car heaving heavy breaths as my body tried to get as much air as it could. I hadn't even realized that I wasn't completely in the car. It was just my back in the car.
"Elizabeth!" Dean called and he was next to me instantly. "Are you okay?" I nodded as my voice hadn't yet caught up with the situation. "What the hell were you thinkin' talkin' to him like that?"
"I was thinking that I could change the outcome.." I said though my words were staggered and uneven.
"You could've been killed." Sam said turning around from the front seat.
"But I wasn't." I said and let a breath of a laugh come out. I took a big breath and Dean helped me sit up.
"You ever do something like that again, I'll kill you myself."
"Kinda defeats the purpose, then." I mumbled and he lifted my feet into the car. "It felt like there was weights in my lungs."
"You'll be okay, let's just get you resting a little." Dean said as I fumbled with the seat belt and he shut my door and went up to the front seat. "Hang in there kiddo." He said and I felt myself begin to cry. I knew Dean wouldn't die, but again I couldn't stop anything. I couldn't do a thing and I probably would never be useful in this world. "Liz, it's okay. We'll figure it out." Dean comforted me from the driver's seat. I simply nodded and laid my head against the window. It wasn't going to do me any good and so I curled up as Dean drove back to the motel. It was nearly eleven and as we walked in the police officers wheeled a body away on a stretcher and we entered the room. I stared at the empty chair and broken salt circle.
"Damn it, I told him." Sam commented, frustrated.
"Osiris would have got to him one way or another. Guy's batting a thousand."
"There's still time. We can figure something out." They began research and I sat on the bed feeling useless and beat down. Every now and then one of them would give me an apologetic look or ask if I was alright. Each time I shrugged it off and looked away. They moved around though, first Sam was on the phone and then Dean researching on the laptop. Then Sam began to pace the room and Dean moved to the bed with his head bowed as Sam's phone rang.
"Bobby. What do you got?" Sam's voice paused, of course, talking over the phone. I laid down on the other bed and curled up. "Good. We need it." Dean had gotten up to get a glass of whiskey. "So it's temporary? -A ram's horn? Where am I gonna find a ram's horn in Dearborn?- yeah. Thanks." Sam hung up and I glanced over as he moved to the laptop. "Ram's horn. Ahh...okay. Huh. Apparently, uh, Jewish people blow through them once a year."
"Where you gonna find one this time of night?" Dean asked.
"Uh...Synagogue?"
"You're gonna steal from a temple? Well, that's a new low." Dean said as he took another drink of whiskey.
"You're on death row, Dean. Quit Joking around. Here. Keys. I'll be back."
"The dick's gonna sic Jo after me, Sam."
"You're a hunter, Dean. You know how to deal with ghosts." Dean gave Sam the keys to the Impala.
"So, you suggest I kill her again?"
"You didn't kill her, Dean. I'll hurry." Sam left and Dean made a salt circle around himself. It was silent for just a few minutes before Dean broke that silence.
"You can come out now." He said and I sat up and grimaced at him as he glanced to me and sighed.
"You know I'd never do this." Jo answered him.
"I know."
"I guess it's his thing. Some kind of twisted eye for an eye."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. You deserve better."
"No, you did. You deserved better, Jo."
"Dean, my life was good. Really."
"He was right, you know – that dick judge, about me."
"No, he wasn't."
"You were a kid."
"Not true."
"You and Sam. I just – you know, hunters are never kids. I never was. I didn't even stop to think about it."
"It's not your fault. It wasn't on you."
"No, but I didn't want to do it alone. Who does? No, the right thing would have been to send your ass back home to your mom."
"Like to have seen you try. He was right about one thing."
"What, your massive crush on me?" Dean answered jokingly and Jo smiled.
"Shut up. You carry all kinds of crap you don't have to, Dean. It kinda gets clearer when you're dead."
"Well, in that case, you should be able to see that I am 90%...crap. I get rid of that, what then?"
"You really want to die not knowing? Dean."
"Yeah."
"It's time." She said as she turned the burners on the gas stove on and Dean turned to me.
"Liz, go. Now." He said and I shook my head. Jo turned around and faced me.
"Who is she?" She asked with a confused look spreading across her face.
"A kid who shouldn't be mixed up in all of this. Like you, but her family wasn't composed of hunters. Elizabeth, go."
"I'm not leaving, Dean." I answered stubbornly. Jo smiled softly.
"You get the stubborn ones, huh, Dean?" She said as she approached me and I knew what she meant. Neither of us would leave even if it was for the better. "You should go before you end up like I did...hunting isn't fun for anyone."
"I know...Jo..." I teared up a bit as I looked to her. "I wish I'd gotten the chance to truly meet you." She nodded softly and took a breath in. I could have sworn she was about to cry as she disappeared and returned next to the salt circle. "Come one, Dean. I used to hunt ghosts. I know the tricks." I covered my face as the window glass shattered and wind broke the circle. She looked to me like she wanted to apologize. "He's making me do this."
"It's okay." Dean answered and again he looked at me almost begging for me to leave but I shook my head sternly. I wasn't going anywhere. She moved closer to Dean and took a lighter out of Dean's pocket before mouthing a 'sorry' to me. Stroking Dean's cheek, she dropped the lighter and vanished. "Jo?" Dean asked as he let out his breath.
"She's gone, Dean. It's over." I commented as I got up and, with bare feet, stepped past glass shards as I moved to turn off the gas burners. I began to cough and I covered my nose and mouth, the fumes were that potent. I reached over and was able to turn them off just as Dean picked me up and carried me out of the kitchen and into the hallway. I kept coughing and let fresh air fill my lungs. Apparently, today was not my day for breathing.
"Breathe, Liz." He instructed me before he went back into the room and gathered all of our belongings. When he returned to me he announced that we were going to get a new room and I simply nodded and sank to the floor. He didn't move me and instead he sat beside me and rubbed my shoulder. "Back at that barn...Liz I may have been a little harsh and misjudging, but I didn't realize that you cared that much about everything-"
"Dean."
"You wouldn't let Osiris cut you off, now listen to me. I don't care what you may have done before, Liz. I don't care what you haven't said or what you won't say or what happened between us. You are brave, kid, and don't you think for a second that you're not in this family. You're front and center." I smiled a bit and glanced at him.
"I know." I answered. "But will you stop calling me kid?" He laughed.
"Not for a long time, kid." He said and pulled me over into a hug. I never really got to see this soft side often with him in the show. "Who was the last witness, Liz?"
"Amy Pond.." I answered quietly and he stood before helping me up. He frowned and nodded.
"You okay?" He asked once more and I replied with a few short nods. And it was true, I was feeling much better to not be suffocating but then again I had put myself into those situations. He threw the bag over his shoulder and glanced into the room to check that nothing had been left and then we left.
~~O~~
The next day we were hanging about the car, Dean and Sam each with a beer and myself with a bottle of soda. As they chatted I stayed silent. I sat on the trunk of the Impala and stared into the distance. Nothing really fascinated me out there, but it was better than listening to them gab on and on about nothing important.
"So, uh, it seem like...you know, like...she was in pain?" Sam asked and I realized they'd gotten onto the topic of Jo.
"No. No, just kind of faded. Regular Jo. Actually, maybe a little happier." Dean responded before taking a swig of beer. "I got a question. So where the hell did that come from, volunteering to defend me?"
"He was gonna kick me out."
"I don't know, man – in another life, you uh, you might have made a pretty decent scuzzbag." Sam laughed.
"I'm 0 for 1, Dean."
"Ah, it's not your fault. You were pretty convincing."
"So, who was he talking about?"
"Who?"
"That whole final witness thing."
"No idea. Honestly, that could be just about anybody dead we know. By the way...I mean, I get why Judge Judy put me on trial – I got guilt coming out of my pores. But...why'd he skip you?"
"I think I just don't...feel guilty anymore."
"Come on."
"Look, I don't know what to tell you, Dean. I mean, I've spent a lot of time feeling pretty crappy – like my whole life."
"What, you got a secret stash of happy pills?"
"Hell." Sam answered and Dean stared at him quizzically. "Look, I'm not saying it's logical. I just... you know, I feel like I did a lot of stuff I should have felt bad for and then I paid a lot of dues and come out the other side, you know?"
"And that worked? I mean, you really feel like your – your slate's wiped?"
"No. Nothing ever gets wiped." Sam started to walk around the passenger side of the Impala and I hopped off the trunk before moving to the back seat and sliding in. "You know? Sometimes I see Lucifer when I friggin' brush my teeth, but, I don't know, I guess I just finally feel like...my past is my past and I can move on with my life. You know, hopefully."
"Easier said than done."
"Not arguing that."
"Well, I don't know whether to be, uh, jealous or weirded out."
"You'll get used to it. I mean, I don't want to sound lame, but... I kind of feel good, Dean."
"Well, you are going to be a pleasure to ride with." Dean smiled a bit and I shut my door as they sat inside. Buckling up, Dean started the engine and ACDC began to play as we drove away from Dearborn and off to yet another case. I knew the outcome of this case and nearly every other case in the future, but I felt that I could relax and just...enjoy my time with the Winchesters, as odd as that may sound. It was a new start for me and maybe I would've wanted a life out of theirs, but I wasn't going to complain anymore. I like these two and I was sticking around for awhile.