Super long authors note that is not necessary to read! Another Btw. Someone pointed out they weren't surprised Kise would know what was going on and I just wanted to say originally, Kise was going to be the first to find out, but he ended up finding out at the same time as Akashi and Midorima. Technically, he sort of knew what was going on before hand but it was like when you know you know something but you can't quite put your finger on it. Anyway, I usually make Kise out to be the idiotic blond in most of my fics even though I know there really is more to him, so I thought this time I would give him a chance to shine a bit. I hope I did an okay job with it. Since he's a model and would probably be more aware of this kind of thing than the others. Though honestly, I hope I didn't make the characters seem to dumb for too long. I had a hard time deciding how long it would take them to figure everything out because they are middle school boys and I don't know how aware they would be of such disorders, especially in Japan. As someone who is very much aware of eating disorders, it would be on the top of my list of suspected ailments early on in the story but I didn't know where it would fall for people who haven't been exposed to such things as much. So I made it take a while for them to catch on. Hopefully I didn't make it seem like the GOM are a bunch of dense idiots (more so than any normal middle school boys at least). We all know Akashi is anything but an idiot.

Anyway...that's enough of my super long authors note. Enjoy the story.

I say anyway waaaayyyy too much.

Anyway: warning for depictions of minor self-harm and purging.

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Although Kuroko was doing better with keeping up appearances and not falling as far behind in practice anymore, he could not keep up the act 24/7 and it promptly crumbled the moment he stepped inside his apartment every evening. Dropping his bag onto the floor just inside the door, he leaned against the wall for support and dragged his weary body down the hall to the bathroom.

Despite being the only one home, he locked the bathroom door behind him. He began to remove his clothes, struggling with the buttons on his shirt due to the shakiness of his fingers. Naked, he pulled the scale out of the cabinet below the sink and placed it on the cool tile floor and stepped on.

The number fluctuated before stabilizing at 37kg (around 80 lbs).

Too high. Way too high.

Kuroko felt the tears building in the corner of his burning eyes and made no attempt to hold them back. He'd been throwing up every bite he ate, which wasn't much to begin with, and running his body ragged. Why wasn't he losing more weight?! Even if he didn't purge the few hundred calories his friends forced on him every day, it shouldn't be this slow.

Still crying, he turned on the shower and slumped against the wall. It wasn't fair. He was trying so hard. He ignored the hunger. He pushed himself well beyond his limits at practice. He sacrificed sleep and comfort. He took pills to speed up his metabolism. He endured the suffering and exhaustion. He endured the coldness. Why? Why wasn't it enough? Why couldn't he just be good enough for once in his life?

Because you're weak….you're a failure….the voice inside his head taunted. He balled his fingers into a fist and slammed it against his leg with all his strength, admittedly not much, but enough to hurt. And the hurting himself…..felt good.

Because he deserved it? Because it was a distraction? He didn't know. The more he pondered it, the more clouded his mind felt. But he understood one thing. He wanted to feel more of that pain.

He raised his fist again and brought it down on his leg with all his strength. He did it again. And again. And again. It felt good, but not enough. Once again he dug his nails into the skin. It was another ugly habit he'd been developing lately. Sometimes the nails bit through the skin making cracks just large enough for a drop of blood or two to seep out. Sometimes he pulled at it till it bled a little more. This was one of those times.

It was strange, but the tears stopped surfacing and his lips curled upwards ever so slightly. He imagined his sanity must be slipping or perhaps it was long gone. It didn't matter. He wanted more of this hurt. Over and over, he dug his nails into his disgusting flesh. Blood and skin built up beneath his each nail used.

Once he felt somewhat satisfied, he washed the blood from his hands and thighs. The he reached up and twisted the shower knob till the water ceased. His leg ached as he pulled himself off the floor and haphazardly dried his skin which was still cold despite being drenched in warm water. He pulled on his pajamas and poked the spot on his leg to assess the damage. Where he hit would definitely bruise and where he broke skin, light scars would probably form. Till then, the skin would be a bit tender. Was he happy about that?

Using whatever he could for support, wall, counter, kitchen chair, Kuroko stumbled into the kitchen and prepared two hot water bottles for bed. It was a trick he had picked up on recently. He took both of them to the bedroom and curled up under the blankets placing one bottle against his back and one against his stomach underneath his shirt. It was the only way he could sleep anymore. Otherwise, it was too cold, even though the heat in the apartment was always on.

After reading the message three times to make sure he wasn't mistaken, Akashi tilted the screen so Midorima could read it as well.

"So he came to the same conclusion in fact. Though the timing is odd since we only came to said conclusion moments ago ourselves." Midorima adjusted his glasses in his typical manner and took a sip of his own tea.

"The timing is not as relevant as the reason for his conclusion." Akashi said. He began to type a reply to Kise. "We can meet after practice tomorrow. I'll have him inform Daiki and Atsushi. I think its best if we bring this to their attention as well if they don't already know."

"I agree. What about Kuroko? Will he attend this 'meeting' as well?"

"No." Akashi clicked send and directed his gaze back to the computer screen. He backed out of the current page and began opening more links to similar websites in separate tabs. "We can discuss how to confront him tomorrow. It's best if we are all on the same page first."

Aomine didn't know what to say when Kise sprung his revelation on him, mostly because he didn't have a clue what the hec the blond was talking about. "What the hell is anorexia?"

Kise sighed exasperatedly and checked their surroundings for eavesdroppers before continuing. "Eating disorder. You know. Someone starves themselves or throws up their food. It's common among girls. They warn about it at the agency I work for."

"Why the hell would Tetsu do something like that?" Aomine asked still confused. Last he checked, food was good and his best friend was a guy. Gay, but still a guy.

Before Kise could answer, his phone beeped with a reply. "Akashicchi says we will meet after practice to discuss this." He relayed after reading the message for himself. "Anyway, I gotta go. I promised my sister I would help with dinner tonight."

"Oi! We're havin a con….versation here…." Aomine trailed off as Kise had already ran out of earshot. Apparently answers would have to wait for tomorrow.

The next day as planned, Aomine, Kise, Midorima, Murasakibara, and Akashi stayed in the gym after practice. They considered asking Momoi to stay to, but Kuroko looked paler than usual and Aomine didn't want him walking home alone. It was decided Momoi would go with him.

Once the rest of the basketball members had cleared out and there was no chance of any one unexpectedly dropping in on them, the five basketball players sat in a circle.

"So…this anorexia thing….we're sure that's what Tetsu has?" Aomine broke the silence while twirling a basketball between his hands.

"Short of asking him or catching him in acts which cannot and are not explained otherwise, yes. Seeing as Midorima, Kise, and I came to the same conclusion separately, it seems highly likely that is the case." Akashi explained.

"Short of acts what? Speak plainly dude. I ain't a fucking rocket scientist." Aomine glared at the shorter captain.

"Aka-chin was speaking plainly. Mine-chin is just dumb." Murasakibara chomped down on a rainbow lollipop lazily.

"Shut up!"

Sighing exasperatedly, Midorima adjusted his glasses on his nose. "We're getting off track here in fact."

"Let's start with what we know." Akashi pulled them back on topic after a silent thank you to the green headed vice-captain. "Symptoms include extreme weight loss in a short period of time, fatigue, fainting spells, visiting the bathroom after meals, and avoiding friends and meal times."

"He's keeping a journal of what he eats and probably his weight as well. From the looks of the pages Aominecchii snapped pics of, he's barely eating if at all."

"I dun know if it's important but Kuro-chin didn't eat the candy I gave him. Kuro-chin used to eat the candy."

"Not everyone is as obsessed with snacks as you dude." Aomine hissed.

Midorima sighed again. "He's been more irritable in fact. He yelled that day in Maji Burger. Come to think of it, it was when we approached him about not touching his food in fact."

"Speaking of Maji Burger….Tetsu hasn't come with us since…or to the convenience store either. He's always got some lame ass excuse."

"Watch your language." Midorima said.

"And if Kurokocchi's going to the bathroom after lunch….."

"He's probably purging his food. It's unlikely he would use such a remote bathroom for normal and acceptable reasons. He picked it to avoid others." Akashi surmised

"He's cold all the time too….at least he shivers a lot and he feels cold when I touch him." Kise added

"So….Tetsu's anorexic or whatever it's called. But what do we do….he could starve to death right? That's a thing?"

Akashi nodded, his already present frown deepening. "Yes, Daiki. That's 'a thing' as you put it. He IS starving to death. He is already emaciated. If we're right about this, there is no telling how much longer his body will put up with the abuse."

"Emaciated?"

"Emaciated means gaunt or skeletal. He's abnormally thin. Anyway, it's surprising he's lasted this long given the severity of the symptoms in fact."

"We can't let Kurokocchi die!"

"We ain't gonna let Tetsu die!"

"But….I worked with a model once…she had the same disease…. it's how I recognized the journal, and she….she didn't make it."

"Well Tetsu has us!"

"Yeah but….."

"I loathe to admit it, but Daiki is right, Ryouta. We won't let Tetsuya die. I won't let Tetsuya die. That's why I called this meeting. We need to decide how to approach this. Seeing as you are the one with the most hands on experience in this department, I need you to focus."

"But Akashicchi…."

"Are you doubting my promises?"

"N….no. No, I'm not…"

"Then let's focus on what we can do to help him."

"Should we tell the coach? Teachers? Someone?" Aomine suggested as he stared at the basketball that was now still in his hands.

"Knowing Kuroko, that could backfire." Midorima said

"Let's try to handle this ourselves first." Akashi paused to think before continuing. "We will involve others if necessary."

"Kurokocchi needs to know that we know, I think."

"We could follow Kuro-chin."

"You mean stalk him. While I'm sure Kise is used to…" Midorima began but was promptly cut off.

"Hey!"

"Follow him where, Atsushi?" Akashi kept his attention on the giant, ignoring the whining and excuses Kise droned on with."

"To the bathroom."

"He might feel cornered if we catch him like that in fact."

"Being caught could make him feel cornered regardless of how we go about the catching, Shintarō. I think it's a good idea. Once he knows he can't hide it from us any longer, he might open up to us."

"How are we going to follow Tetsu to the bathroom and what are we supposed to do when we get there?"

"Stop Kurokocchi of course!"

"No." Akashi shook his head, "we can't stop him."

"Whhhhhyyyyy?"

"Because if we stop, we won't know for sure Kuroko intended to purge. We also won't have any leverage to get him to confess."

"Still…it's kind of messed up to just stand there and let him hurt himself when we could be stopping him." Aomine said.

"It's a small sacrifice. We will wait till he purges and then confront him."

"Then what?" Kise asked.

"Sleepover." Murasakibara suggested lazily.

"What?"

"That's not a bad idea." Akashi agreed.

"Huh?"

"Alright. Tomorrow we will follow him to the bathroom. Regardless of how things turn out, prepare to sleep over tomorrow night. It's Friday, so we don't have practice and that will give us plenty of time to talk and perhaps get him to eat something as well." Akashi summed up the plan and stood, grabbing his bag. "Regardless of what happens, we have to be careful. He needs friends and comfort right now as much as he needs to be caught."

Midorima followed his lead and stood as well. "Okay….but sleep over where? If we barge into his house…."

"Aka-chin's place is biggest. He's got lots of snacks too."

"That's fine. You can leave your overnight bags with my driver in the morning."

"So it's settled?" Midorima looked around at everyone who was now heading towards the gym doors.

Akashi opened the door and held it for the others to walk through. "Yes. Go home. Rest. Tomorrow will likely be a long day."

Friday morning, the group left their overnight duffel bags with Akashi's driver as planned. Kuroko had been too weak and half asleep to even notice the extra bags Kise and Aomine had with them on the way to school. He suspected nothing.

He suspected nothing again when the whole table fell silent as he stood to go to the bathroom. The group hadn't been very talkative all lunch anyway since they were doing their best to focus on Kuroko so they would notice him leave. Until now, Akashi had been the only one who ever detected his slipping away.

Still, even if the whole lunch room had stopped talking at that very moment, Kuroko might not have noticed. It had been six days since he kept any food down and it had only been a few crackers when he did. A pain in the center of his chest had kept him up much later than he was used to the night before as well. All he wanted was to collapse, and he nearly did as he made his way to the usual bathroom. It took all his strength to fight through the dizziness and hold himself up while placing one foot in front of the other.

He wasn't even sure why he was bothering. It was so far away and he only took a few bites of melon bread, hardly enough to warrant climbing up the flight of stairs and walking to a separate end of the school. Yet the nauseous feeling growing in his gut said otherwise and habit took over.

Once he was out of sight of the lunch room, he placed his hand on the wall and followed it closely using the cold bricks for support. He dragged his feet down the hall only avoiding running into walls because he knew the path by heart. His eyes were half closed.

After a quick glance at his surroundings to check for possible students lurking the abandoned hallway, he slipped into the bathroom and chose his usual stall. His fingers fumbled with the lock, failing to successfully push it into place once before succeeding, and dropped to his knees.

Kuroko's fingers had barely gotten passed his lips before the heaving began and the bile rose into his throat. It spilled into the toilet, the gross mush laced with strands of bright red blood. It's getting too easy to do this…he thought but dismissed it quickly and shoved his hands down again. The second round resulted in mainly acid and water since the first was enough to release most of the meager portion of food he had eaten at lunch. Even so, he shoved his hand in a third time for good measure. The coughing was enough to deafen him to the footsteps outside the stall causing him to jump when he heard a knock on the door.

"Tetsuya." A voice from the other side of the stall called out just after the gentle knocks ceased.

The slippers he could make out underneath the stall door were the same as every other students however, there was only one person who called him by his given name and only one person with that intoxicatingly smooth authoritative voice.

Shifting, he left his right arm slung over the toilet bowl and turned so his side was facing the door. With his clean hand, he fumbled with the lock and batted the stall door open to reveal Akashi staring down at him with soft sad eyes and lips turned downward. Oddly enough, he didn't look surprised, just upset?

"Tetsuya…." Akashi repeated, a frown twisting his lips downward further. His fingers clenched like his chest and his breath stopped in his throat.

"Aka…..Akashi-kun…." Kuroko rasped out, wincing from the pain in his burning throat.

Akashi kneeled and accepted a wet towel from Midorima. Kuroko then realized it wasn't just Akashi who had stumbled upon him, but Midorima, Murasakibara, Kise, and Aomine were there too. Had they followed him? There was no other reason for all of them to be in this bathroom at once.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that as he leaned his head back against the stall divider and allowed Akashi to wipe the vomit from his hands and lips. The cool surface and cold cloth causing shivers to course through his body. A few painful coughs escaped racking his upper half.

He probably should have been panicking. His friends discovered his biggest secret (it didn't even occur to him they might think he had a stomach bug or to try to convince them of such). His crush was on the floor beside him caring for him. His whole world could very well be crumbling to dust at the moment. Surely it was a panic worthy moment.

But he wasn't panicking. All he felt was exhaustion and perhaps a slight bit of relief barely piercing the fog enveloping his mind. It didn't make sense to him why he would feel such a thing in a moment like this, so he dismissed it. Kuroko didn't have the energy to concern himself what made no sense. Actually, he suddenly had no energy at all. Even with his head pounding, pain piercing his stomach, and pain in his chest as if his heart was punching the inside of his ribs, all he felt like doing was falling over and closing his eyes.

Akashi finished wiping the last strands of vomit from Kuroko's mouth as the latter's eyes drooped. He threw the paper towel into the toilet and flushed the last bit of evidence down the drain before returning his attention to Kuroko. The fears the group shared the previous night were plainly true. Without a doubt, their phantom sixth member was well on his way to becoming a true phantom via an eating disorder.

Not knowing what else to do, Akashi pulled the tired and shivering Kuroko into a warm embrace and carded his fingers through Kuroko's hair. He was startled when several strands easily dislodged themselves from the tealnettes scalp, but he knew why it happened. His grip on Kuroko's too thin body tightened. Had he gotten even thinner since the last time Akashi held him? God, he hoped not. But it felt like the bones beneath the clothes were more prominent. Akashi fought the urge to cry. He needed to be strong, not break down. As a leader, he had failed his teammate for far too long and allowed the circumstances to progress to a state they never should have come close to. This wasn't the time for regret though.

Not loosening his hold on the smaller boy, Akashi turned his head to see how the others fared. Akashi's attention had been so focused on Kuroko he hadn't heard Kise's sobs or Aomine uttering strings of colorful curse words under his breath until he looked at them now. Midorima and Murasakibara were silent but their conflicting emotions flashed across their faces and Midorima seemed to be struggling to find words to say. All of them expected the situation to turn out this way. They expected to find Kuroko throwing up when they entered the bathroom, yet expecting it didn't dull the pain or shock felt when actually facing the truth. Nothing dulled it.

They had talked about what they would do in this situation the night before. They had prepared, made plans for words to speak and actions to commit. Now it seemed as if those plans had all but fled their minds as the uncomfortable moments passed.

"I'm sorry." Kuroko finally broke the standstill with his raspy voice. Damn, speaking felt so painful, not only for his throat, but his head too. But he felt he should say something.

"Kuroko…." Midorima snapped out of his confused thoughts and crouched down while removing his jacket. He placed it over the tealnettes shoulders since Kuroko was still shivering.

"There is no need to be sorry, Tetsuya. We should have noticed sooner." After a quick nod of thanks to Midorima, Akashi adjusted the extra jacket to better cover the smaller boy.

"I didn't want you to know." Kuroko protested weakly. The words stung his raw and likely bleeding throat forcing him to cough again.

Stepping forward and crouching down, Aomine handed over his water bottle. "Drink." He ordered without making eye contact or even looking at Kuroko. He couldn't.

Kuroko intended to protest since he had just been puking and it wasn't his water bottle and all that, but Akashi pulled away and forced the tip of the bottle to Kuroko's lips. "Don't argue."

Reluctantly, Kuroko took a few sips. He almost turned to the toilet and spit out the liquid when he realized it was a sports drink and not water, but Akashi held him in place and covered his mouth with his hand. Kuroko had no choice but to swallow.

"Ryouta. Daiki." Akashi spoke without facing the blond and bluenette. "Inform your teachers that Tetsuya will be in the nurse's office for the duration of the afternoon. Offer to take his work to him and make sure to grab his belongings before classes end. Understood?"

"Hai." Both chorused.

"Come on Tetsuya." Akashi coaxed as he helped Kuroko to his feet.

"I can go…" Kuroko tried to protest on the way to standing but the sudden dizziness cut him off. His knees threatened to buckle but Akashi held him up and Midorima was quick to move to Kuroko's open side in case extra help was needed.

"We are taking you to the nurse's office. Do not argue with me, Tetsuya, unless you wish to anger me."

Akashi didn't want to use threats, but the relaxation of Kuroko's body into his grip assured him the tactic had been successful at least. Kuroko made no further attempts to argue as Midorima and Akashi led him out of the bathroom and down the hall with Murasakibara following close behind.

They didn't get very far though before Kuroko's legs stopped moving and his fingers twisted into Akashi's shirt.

"I think I'm g…." He tried to warn but consciousness fled before he had a chance to finish and he fainted, everything promptly blurring before going completely black.

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