20th Day, 9th Moon, Year of the Hare (Azulon 64)
This is not intended to be a "pillow book" such as some noble ladies like to keep, so I will not divulge details…I will say only that my lord husband was very demanding of me last night, and I am wearied and a little sore from it, but also filled with the deep contentment that comes only in the aftermath of ecstasy. He was not gentle with me—he never is—but I was able to withstand him, and my pleasure was none the less for being accidental on his part.
He was right when he said in the Lotus Garden that it had been too long since we last partook of one another in such fashion; this was the first time in many months, since my pregnancy really began to show in fact. It is too easy to forget, now that I am a mother, that I remain also a wife and lover. My preoccupation with Zuko had shielded me from noticing that I too felt bereft of the joys of the marital bed.
We both lay in very late this morning, and by the time I was motivated enough to return to my own chambers, Su-Lin was nearly at her wits' end with trying to keep Zuko quiet. He was so ravenous when I suckled him that he savagely pinched my nipple with his mouth, and in an instant of carelessness I compared him to his father. So now Su-Lin, who is a hopeless romantic in these matters, has not been able to look at me all day without giggling. She is lucky that I am still feeling so tranquil, or I would surely give her a tongue-lashing for it.
Above all else, it is a relief to have my lord husband appreciate me as a woman again. I had feared, following our quarrel, that he would want nothing more to do with me ever again. But whatever it is that he feels for me, be it love or something less noble, at least it is stronger than a petty grudge born in a moment of ill temper. It gives me hope—a true hope, not just a fond wish—that we can yet become a close family.