Learning how to use the force should have been easy. She had plenty of power, and it was eager to obey her. It would have been easier if she hadn't fought it. It felt like an intruder, and Juhani's harsh lessons about how it was a part of her didn't make it easier to accept. At least Juhani wasn't as stuck up as the jedi, despite her obvious temple upbringing. She accepted the barbs Arwen flung at her with a fair amount of grace. Well, if their sniping and Juhani's casual use of the force to hurt Arwen could be considered graceful.
The worst part really, were the dreams. Whatever she was taught about she dreamed of the jedi doing at night. It almost felt as if the force was trying to make up for the gaps in her memories by flooding her with what could have been if the jedi had trained her-an idea that twisted bitterly inside her. At least Canderous was there. He made a great sparring partner, bloodthirsty and eager to test himself against her powers. He was an eager mate in bed as well.
The repeating dream about the ruins was annoying as well. Apparently Bastila and the council were trying to get in, and every time their little expedition failed Arwen got to have a rerun of Malak and Revan visiting it. Juhani's answer about the force believing that Arwen would want whatever was in there was annoying, especially since she could feel Bastila in the dream every. single. Time. At least she could annoy Carth by flicking things at him.
Her skill with the force picked up speed when she finally stopped resisting. Juhani was shocked at the speed, muttering about how it was as if Arwen had been born to wield the force in such a way. It was almost unnatural, the way years worth of training went by in a couple of months. She had all the skill of a talented jedi knight in the end.
Arwen woke extra early that morning. She had finally managed to get her hands on some new dyes. That and she desperately needed to cut it. It was practically off her shoulders at this point. The original black color was plainly visible for all to see. Thankfully, all was rectified by the time she stepped out of the shower. The mercenary donned her usual garb, feeling actually cheery for once despite the idiotic dreams. She had finally given up on ignoring the cave. Invites were open to Juhani and Canderous to come with, although she had a sneaking suspicion Carth might try to weasel his way in. Not that she'd mind. Chucking pebbles at his head via the force was practically an olympic sport for her at this point. She'd gotten a nice trick shot on him the night before.
The morning air was crisp and biting as she stepped outside the ship. Her breath came in visible waves. Arwen ran a hand through her sith red and jedi blue locks. Not a single hair went past the base of her neck. Just the way she liked it.
Carth had been tinkering below the ship when he spotted Arwen coming out. He actually wasn't sure what the mercenary had been doing for the past month. He knew that the jedi wanted something with her, and she had them as stirred up as a kicked hornet's nest, but Arwen's words about how trustworthy the jedi were hadn't left him. Though really, he could do without her chucking stuff at him. She learns how to use the force, and how does she use it? To annoy him. He'd thought the jedi would have instilled at least some discipline in her.
She didn't look like she was heading for training this morning though. "Something different happening today?"
"No." Arwen replied. "Same old, same old. No amount of booze will make me forget it either. So I'm just gonna go deal with the problem." Arwen pointed to her belt which was fit with about a dozen grenades. "One way or another."
Carth stilled. "...need some help with that?"
Arwen figured as much. The jedi were watching her, she knew that. Carth was their bitch (or so she assumed). It figures he'd be in charge of keeping an eye on her. "Not really. Follow, don't. I don't care."
Carth eyed Arwen suspiciously, but nodded. He cleaned his hands on a rag and headed inside to grab his blasters, and as much weaponry as he could hide on his body. This already promised to start heading south.
He glanced up as the mandalorian entered the room, his monstrous gun strapped to his back. "Ho, got a good fight planned today?" Canderous asked.
Carth snorted. "Not all of us are battle hungry mandalorians."
"Then it's a peace talk you're taking all that weaponry to?" Canderous asked sarcastically.
"I wish. Arwen's planning something. She's got enough grenades on her to destroy a small village. With her luck she'll encounter something that actually requires them."
Canderous raised his brows. "You almost sound concerned."
"I don't like her. That doesn't mean I want her dead-or for whatever trouble she's gonna stir up to tear up the planet."
Canderous chuckled. "I can respect that." The two men exited the ship, Canderous whistling in admiration at Arwen.
"Good morning sexy!"
"You know it." Arwen replied with a wink. "Ready to head out?"
"Eager for it." Carth glanced at Canderous. "You know what she's planning?"
"Of course! Hoping there'll be something there to fight. Perhaps Revan left a surprise behind." Canderous grinned, his bloodlust clear.
Arwen frowned. She wanted less to do with the Jedi and the Sith, not more. In all honesty, she just wanted the cave to be empty, or at least hold nothing that would actually interest her. The whole point of this trip was to stop the dreams. Arwen turned and headed out to the canyon. Juhani was going to meet them there like always. From there, it was off to the ruins.
The cathar greeted the group coolly and slipped in, ignoring the bickering pair. Carth examined the obvious force user with suspicion. She looked like a jedi, but Arwen was awfully accepting of her if she was one. The walk through the canyon was auspicious, the creatures still obedient and recognizing the presence of the woman whose influence had reigned for so long. They reached the ruins, Canderous disappointed he hadn't managed to bag anything on their way in.
"How was it opened in your dreams?" Juhani asked softly.
Carth choked. "You-you dreamed this?"
"Hand wavy space magic." Arwen replied, ignoring Carth. "No, literally, he waved his hand. Opening some kind of internal mechanism."
"A force responsive door? Interesting…" Juhani waved her hand, her force presence tickling briefly across it. The door stayed shut. "Hm...do you know how the force interacted with the door?"
"Fuck it. It'll be faster if I just do it. Besides, I always have my grenades." Arwen raised her hand towards the door and the strangest sense of deja vu flashed across her mind. She shook her head and concentrated on the feeling from her dream.
The door slowly rose up. The group walked in, Carth tense. The stone lobby they entered might have once been beautiful, but the murals carved on the walls were now so faded to no more than faint imprints. Juhani took the lead into a room with an ancient droid.
Why have slaves of the Builders come? The droid's words were grating, a harsh ancient dialect.
"What is it saying?" Carth asked.
"I am unsure. I do not recognize the language," Juhani answered.
Arwen looked at Carth and Juhani like they had grown another head. "Seriously? I thought 'slaves of the builders' was pretty clear." she rolled her eyes. Suddenly, a searing pain shot through her head. Flashes of herself in dark clothes and a mask running through the ruins, speaking to the droid. Arwen stumbled, gripping her head tight as the memory fled as quickly as it came.
"Arwen!" They all rushed to the mercenary, worry sketched in their faces.
"I felt your force presence spike rather painfully, as if tearing something. What happened?" Juhani demanded.
Another flash. She was worried about something. Something bad would happen if… if… Pain flared and Arwen snarled. She couldn't remember what! All she had was the impression of her looking at a map of the stars. Why? Arwen shoved her fist into her mouth and bit, hard. The pain died down a little bit, but she was breathing and sweating like she had just run a marathon. Carefully, Arwen pulled off a grenade with her free hand and darkly mumbled, "Die motherfucker."
Carth's eyes widened. "Whoa, whoa!" He grabbed the grenade and quickly wrestled it away. "What the hell?"
"I'm gonna blow this place to kingdom fucking come!" Arwen snarled and tried to wrestle her grenade back. "It deserves it!"
"Why'd you think that?" Carth demanded.
"Because I've been here before!" She screamed. Arwen tore herself away from the group and stormed outside. She grabbed one of her flasks and started to down it at record speed.
The group looked at each other awkwardly. Carth coughed into his hand. "I'll...I'll wait here." Canderous grunted and looked at Juhani, the young cathar looking slightly lost.
"It'd probably be best if you talked to her. We ain't got that sort of relationship."
Juhani straightened herself the best she could, and walked out to the drinking mercenary. "Arwen."
"What?" she snapped.
"Would...would you tell me what happened?"
"I don't even know!" Arwen threw her hands up into the air and started ranting. "I keep having these ridiculous dreams about a place that I've apparently been to but don't even remember, just like the rest of my miserable excuse for a life. It makes zero sense and I want nothing to do with it. Ever!"
Juhani's eyes widened. "You...you don't remember your past?"
"No." She spat bitterly. "I just woke up one day in the hospital. No one even cared. No friends. No family. Not even some mildly concerned coworker or boss. Just… fuck me. This is why I drink! If I'm going to have holes in my fucking memory it's because I fucking put them there!"
Juhani softened. "I apologize. If...if it helps at all, I believe the mandalorian cares for you...as do I. As your teacher, of course."
Arwen glared savagely at Juhani. She chucked the flask at her mentor as hard as she could. What little alcohol remained went flying. "I don't want your pity! What I want is to blow this place to a thousand little pieces and rip that nonsense spitting droid limb from limb. I'm not some fucking slave!"
Juhani glared sharply at Arwen and sent a sharp spark at Arwen. "I do not pity you! The lack of those that cared for you has been rectified, and you are my student. You are better than this! You do not bow to the jedi, or the sith! What do the words of an ancient droid weigh?"
"That hurt." She growled dangerously. Arwen would have pounded on Juhani if not for her speech. Instead, the mercenary just settling on glaring at everyone and everything. "Whatever. I came. I saw. I'm gone."
Juhani sighed and looked back at the ruins where the two guys were waiting. "We'll come back another time then." Whatever secrets the ruins held, it seemed it was more important to her student than she had thought. She'd imagined the ruins held power her student would crave, not memories from her past.
The cathar returned to the ruins. "Well?" Carth demanded, "Is she alright? What was that about?"
"She'll recover. It seems these ruins contains more secrets than we first thought." Juhani waved for them to follow, and the ruins closed behind them. Rather befuddled Carth sank into thought. It couldn't just be tied to the force. It hadn't affected Juhani after all. So what had caused her to act so weird?
Carth shot Arwen looks as they headed back to the jedi compound, the mercenary drinking like it had gone out of style. He almost spoke a few times, always falling silent. He headed to the ship to try and forget about the odd experience by tinkering, but he found himself hovering in the common room instead, staring at nothing. Canderous had long since peeled off to go do...whatever it was he did, and the cathar for whatever reason refused to enter the compound.