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Anonymous asked: Doofenshmirtz/Charlene: Jar

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"Charlene!"

"What is it, Heinz?"

"Could you, uh, could you help me open this jar?"

Charlene Doofenshmirtz sighed, setting down the shirt she'd been folding. How was her husband so incapable? "I'll be right there!

When Charlene entered the kitchen moments later, she found the counter, floor, her husband, AND her screaming daughter covered in various kinds of baby food. Jars and jars were tipped over on the tile flooring and Heinz had clearly slipped in it more than once, not to mention Vanessa was still spitting up mashed peas onto her brand new jumper. Charlene gawked.

"My nice kitchen!" she yelped, dodging spilt piles of goop to reach Heinz, who was trying to pry open a jar of mashed beets with a butter knife. "Dammit Heinz, I thought I told you to let me feed her!"

Heinz grumbled, surrendering the jar to his wife. "… I just wanted to help out, you know, geesh," he frowned, furrowing his brows when Charlene popped the lid right off. "You're so busy all the time and I feel like I don't do enough."

Charlene frowned and snatched a clean baby spoon from a drawer. "That's because whenever you 'help out', we end up having to scrub everything down, or steam clean the carpets, or repaint the walls, or fix the roof-"

"Hey! The roof was only ONCE, and it wasn't even my fault!"

"The point is, when you do something to help, you make it worse," the woman sighed, spooning the beets into her daughter's mouth. "Hence the disaster that is now the kitchen.

Heinz crossed his arms moodily when Vanessa slopped the food around in her mouth and swallowed. "I just, I don't want you to have to do everything all the time. It's not fair to you." He threw his arms up in frustration when Vanessa, once again, accepted the mashed beets. "I don't get it! Why won't she eat like that when I feed her?

Charlene turned to her husband and shoved the jar into his hands. "Well, show me how you feed her, then."

He scooped up some food onto the spoon, then looked down at his daughter. She stared back up at him sourly.

"Here comes the choo-choo!" He chimed, 'driving' the spoon around in the air on it's way to Vanessa's mouth. "Chugga chugga chugga-"

Vanessa screamed and hit the jar and the spoon from her father's hands. The jar hit the counter and sent beet everywhere, and the spoon splattered on the floor.

Heinz growled. "See?"

Charlene sighed, and turned to retrieve a new jar of food and a new spoon. "Heinz, she hates the choo-choo train."

"What?" the man gasped in disbelief. "NO ONE hates the choo-choo train!"

"Except Vanessa." Charlene smiled sympathetically, handing her husband the next open jar. "Here, try again. No choo-choo this time."

Grumbling, he took a spoonful of apple and plum and held it out to Vanessa without saying a word. She blinked up at him, then smiled cutely and happily accepted the mouthful of food. Heinz pursed his lips, quickly loading the spoon with more. Vanessa opened her mouth and sat there, waiting to be fed

The brunette's eyes lit up. "Look! Look Charlene, she's letting me feed her!" he all but squealed, scooping a little dribble of puree off Vanessa's lip.

"There, see?" Charlene started, giving her husband a kiss on the cheek. "That wasn't so hard, was it honey?"

"No, no it wasn't!" Heinz grinned and puffed out his chest. "Could I feed her now?

"Well of course~" Charlene mused, giggling a little. "You can also clean up this mess when you're done."