Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass. I do own the plot. I suggest listening to the following songs during this chapter at designated moments: (1) Everything I'm Not by The Veronicas, (2) Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis and (3) Chemistry of a Car Crash by Shiny Toy Guns in this order.
Chapter Ten: To Become what you Hate
Lelouch sat at a little table in Rivalz's bakery quietly. He was currently awaiting Euphemia's arrival and felt rather ill. "So which cakes should I bring out for you two to try this time?" Rivalz asked from his spot behind the counter. Lelouch blinked a bit and thought briefly.
"Let's go with the red velvet with cream cheese frosting, the marble with the lemon frosting and the chocolate with vanilla frosting," He suggested calmly. The other grinned and nodded, leaning on the counter and releasing a dreamy sigh. Lelouch smiled a bit, already having a hunch where his friend's mind was going. "So have you and Milly made any decisions for your wedding yet?" He asked, resting his chin in his palm and leaning forward a bit to better meet his friend's gaze.
Gray orbs shimmered brightly in joy. "We decided to go with a vanilla cake with chocolate icing for our cake. But I'm going to deck it out with a little color and make sure it's the most elegant, unique cake in the world!" He announced happily. Lelouch smiled back and nodded. "And Milly said that she's already picked out her wedding dress but she wanted to let you see it to get the Lelouch seal of approval. We haven't picked a venue, a menu or made a guest list yet and were hoping you could help us with that. We do know we want to get married in America, though."
"Milly's grandparents and extended family live out there, don't they? If I remember they own a rather successful orchard," Lelouch thought aloud, sitting up a bit and letting his hand curl over his chin in thought. He closed his eyes for a moment, wrinkling his nose, before nodding and opening his eyes. "Why don't you do it all there? You can get married in the orchard and then, out in the fields to the side where there are no crops growing, you could have a canopy put up and enjoy your reception outside. That way any children you invite will have plenty of room to roam around and you'll all be allowed to enjoy a pleasant summer day. You are getting married soon, right?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, a suspicious glint in his violet orbs.
"We want to get married in a month or too, before it starts getting too cold out," Rivalz agreed as the front door opened and the little bell at the top dinged. He smiled at the pink haired beauty that entered. "Hello there, soon-to-be Mrs. Kururugi Suzaku!" He said happily. Rivalz did not know about Lelouch's feelings for the other but did know about his sexuality. The indigo haired male had seemed rather relieved by the news and, after the truth was told, began seeking advice on how to make Milly see what a great guy he was from the other. Lelouch swallowed hard, making sure to keep his bitterness to himself.
(1) "Hello, Rivalz-Kun," She said happily with a little giggle. Euphemia worked at an animal shelter due to a fondness for animals and didn't have a uniform. She was currently wearing a long sleeved white dress with a light green portion just beneath her breast that fanned out to her hips. Under that was an orange skirt that slid down so that only a small portion of the white dress beneath could be seen. She had a dark red chocker around her neck and matching shoes with very small heels on them paired with it. The outfit was both simple and elegant; modest yet tasteful for her figure. "Hello, Lelouch. Thank you for meeting me here." She said happily, sitting across from him and gently taking his hands. She gave them a light squeeze, her eyes shimmering in gratitude. "I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful little brother."
"It's my pleasure to help you out, Euphie," He said sincerely. No matter how much he hated that he couldn't have Suzaku, that Suzaku had kept he and Euphemia's relationship a secret, and that Suzaku had always picked her over him, Lelouch couldn't find it in him to hate her for it. He always felt so sick around Euphemia because many a time he'd wished that something terrible would happen. He often wished that one of them would mess up, that Suzaku would come to him, and he'd have the chance to take the young Japanese man for himself. He had these thoughts, even to this day, and he felt terrible for it. She had never done anything to deserve such spiteful wishes from him; all she did was fall in love with a wonderful guy that she didn't know Lelouch wanted just as badly.
"I'll go get the samples real quick, okay?" Rivalz asked cheerfully before darting off. Lelouch nodded and smiled slightly. He had done a lot of thinking last night and come to a decision; one that he needed to tell someone or risk popping. He hadn't wanted to confide in any of his roommates because he knew they'd all freak out on him. But maybe he could tell Euphemia; she'd always been his family confidant, after all.
"I've decided that I'm going to move to America," He said suddenly, looking up at Euphemia. Her lilac hued eyes widened a bit, her fingers tightening on his hands a bit. He gently stroked the tops of her hands with his thumbs soothingly.
"When did you decide this?" She asked softly. He gave a small smile, tilting his head a little bit as they watched each other.
"I decided this last night," He began calmly, "Milly and I talked yesterday. She said she knew some people in America who wanted to offer me a contract sort of deal where they'd work solely on projects that I gave them. Not only that but I've grown tired of Japan. I've been here for so long and I haven't found anyone I want to be serious with. Or, actually, I haven't found anyone I want to be serious with that feels the same. I think maybe going to America will give me a chance to find my own happiness." He said, forcing a smile on. It wasn't the truth, what he was saying. He couldn't tell the truth to Euphemia, though.
"Well, I don't want you to go, but if this is how you feel I support it. If this is what will make you happy, that is," She said after a moment, looking at him pleadingly. He knew that she wanted him to stay and support her emotionally but he couldn't keep this up. He loved Euphemia and Suzaku both too much to stay here and wish the worst for them. Maybe miles away he could finally put them out of his mind.
"I really think it is. But I'll stay and make sure your wedding goes off without a single hitch," He promised gently just as Rivalz walked out with the cakes samples he'd gone to fetch. "Oh, and by the way, please don't mention this to Suzaku. I want to tell him on my own time." He said gently.
She nodded but suddenly a thought struck her. " You may not have realized it, Euphie, but you're really hurting Lelouch," echoed in her words. She looked at Lelouch for a moment, how he interacted as carefree and merry as always with Rivalz, as her mind finally put the puzzle together. She swallowed quietly and kept to herself. She had, however, decided that she was going to honor Lelouch's request; even if she didn't necessarily approve of it.
…
(2) Lelouch sighed as he sat in his car in the parking lot of his office. He'd just told Shirley and Kaguya about his decision. They'd both freaked out but he assured them that, despite the miles between them, he'd still be taking on weddings that needed tending in Japan. He explained that it would become Shirley's responsibility to attend meetings with clients and do a lot of the things he used to. He said that Kaguya was to send him e-mails daily about the newest clients, their personalities, the themes of their weddings, and any pictures of things the wedding goods stores they frequented had come up with for each theme; basically send pictures of cake ideas or gown suggestions.
He was now praying that Kaguya wasn't calling up her cousin and ratting him out. He had told them both that this was to remain classified since it pertained solely to how things at work would be changing but his young secretary was a bit of a blabber mouth. She liked to gossip quite a bit but he was hoping her respect for him, and love of her paycheck, would be enough to deter her from telling him. "Well I guess I'll find out when I get home," He mumbled to himself before turning the key in the ignition.
As he drove home he couldn't keep his mind off of Suzaku and Euphemia. He really was an idiot to ever think that their relationship could ever fall apart; they had a lot in common, they were both naïve and giving, and they had perfect chemistry with one another. They went together like water and ice, made of the same stuff with only slight differences. Suzaku and Lelouch… They were more like water and vinegar; similar attributes but completely different. They could never mix, could never be put together properly. It was just something Lelouch assumed he'd have to accept and move on. Perhaps finding another vinegar or maybe an oil would be a better match.
He pulled into his spot in front of their building and sighed, sitting there and letting the car run while keeping it in park. How many years had he loved Suzaku know? It came as naturally as breathing, despite their many flaws and differences. He loved everything about the other male; the tanned skin, the vivid emerald eyes, the soft and curly brown locks, the sounds of his voice, every expression he made and even the things he could argue with the other about. Arguing with Suzaku had always been one of Lelouch's favorite sports, second behind chess. The other just made the greatest expressions when he was frustrated. So this trip to America would either kill Lelouch or save him.
He jerked up when he heard a light rapping on his window, looking up to see a grinning Suzaku standing there. He turned off the car and nudged one of his hands, indicating to the other to move out of the way. He then opened the door, slid out and locked his car back up. "I'm afraid I can't tell you which cake Euphemia picked; I promised her I'd stay silent," Lelouch said calmly as he started walking, forcing a small smile on to his lips. Suzaku blinked, seeming baffled, then nodded quickly.
"Oh yeah, you two were doing that today, huh? How'd it go?" He asked. Lelouch blinked in surprise then sighed and shook his head lightly at the other.
"Suzaku, you're getting married in six days. Don't you think you should be more attentive to what's going on in accordance to it?" He asked calmly as he headed upstairs. He unlocked the door and looked around, seeing no one was home. There was a note on the table which he picked up and read aloud. "'Dear Lulu and Douche-Kun, Cheese-Kun needed some shots. Kallen and I took him to the vet, and then we're taking him out to celebrate his good health. Don't go in our room or I'll kick your asses. Sincerely, Cici.'"
(3)"Why is she so mean to me?" Suzaku asked with a little huff. Lelouch chuckled, ripped the note up, and walked over to the trash can.
"Most likely because she's known me a lot longer," Lelouch said calmly before heading back to his room. Suzaku blinked and followed him, putting his foot in the doorway so that it couldn't be shut. Lelouch blinked a few times and glanced at him curiously. "What is it?"
"What do you mean by that? Why should her knowing you longer affect how she looks at me, how she treats me?" He asked calmly, looking at Lelouch sternly. Violet orbs filled with panic and he cleared his throat, looking off to the side with a hand still pressed to the doorknob. "Lelouch, don't ignore me. I'm asking you a serious question."
"It doesn't matter, Suzaku," He said quickly, meeting the other gaze. He only hoped that his eyes didn't betray the panic he felt rushing through his veins. "It really doesn't, okay?" He said a little softer.
Suzaku blinked, his brow creasing as he thought, before his eyes widened with realization in those eyes. Lelouch felt fear churn in his gut. "It was me, wasn't it? The person that made you realize you were gay," He said softly, stepping back a little bit. Lelouch gave a dark chuckle, letting his head tilt downward so that his bangs hid his eyes from view.
"Yeah. Congrats, you figured it out," He said flatly. And now it was the moment that Lelouch had always dreaded. "So why don't you just put that in the back of your mind, huh? Just forget everything you just realized. It's the best way to handle a situation like this." He said with another hollow chuckle. He then slammed his door shut and clicked the lock into place. He fell to his knees and pressed his forehead to the door, trying to calm himself and fight back the tears.
Suzaku stood in the hallway, looking at the white wooden door before him. Lelouch was in love with him? But how? Why? And was he still in love with him now? Yes, he had to be; that explained the mood swings and his defensive nature. It explained why Lelouch was so adamant about keeping some distance between them. But what Suzaku was really confused about was why his heart was beating so fast he thought it might explode and he felt happy over the news.
End
So… We're getting close to the end. And if you followed my suggestion about music... Doesn't it just fit really well together? I feel I owe you all little something, given the rating of this fic, so let me promise you that the next chapters will be well worth the wait. Well, tell me what you think of the growing tension! Tah!