Hey guys! It's just a fairly short chapter this time but I felt like I had to end it at this specific point. I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who's read this story so far and all of my favourites, follows and reviews. It might not seem like a lot but it's a big deal for me so thank you! Keep your reviews coming, hopefully there will be another chapter posted on Saturday but exams and stuff so I make no promises. But I gave you two chapters in two days so hopefully that makes up for it.
Chapter 9: Keeping Secrets
David was walking arm in arm with Kathryn towards Granny's, happy to finally walk the streets again instead of being cooped up in the hospital. Kathryn had wanted to take him home to have a big celebration of his return, but David had managed to talk her out of it. He didn't feel comfortable socialising with people he didn't know in a house that wasn't his home. He had yet to broach the subject of staying at the inn to Kathryn, quite frankly he was dreading it, but he knew he couldn't stay with her. It wasn't fair to give her false hope for the return of the memories he knew in his heart were never coming back.
Thankfully, when they opened the door to the diner it was fairly quiet, there was only about six people in there. Kathryn led David to one of the booths and ordered two coffees for them.
"So, how does it feel to finally be out of the hospital?" Kathryn asked him. She refrained from reaching for his hand across the table, knowing that he was still requesting his space.
"It's amazing, I feel like a new man after being out of there," he said happily.
Kathryn's smile faltered slightly. He was a new man – he wasn't her David anymore. She could tell she was losing him, and she didn't know what to do. She wouldn't force him to stay with her, if he wanted to go she would let him. Maybe that was for the best, anyway.
"I don't suppose you remember this diner at all?" she asked.
David gave her a sad smile and she nodded her head. She had expected as much.
"Well, I can tell you that Granny's has the best hamburgers in Maine. Once you taste them you'll never forget about them again," Kathryn told him, trying to lighten the mood.
"One thing I'm definitely pleased about is not having to eat anymore hospital food," David replied to her.
They ordered their burgers and sat making small talk while they waited for their food. David really did like Kathryn, but he knew that he didn't feel any romantic attachment to her. He hated it, especially since he had been married to the woman. She had dedicated so much time to him over the past few weeks, and he felt awful for not feeling the same way about her. He had tried to fall back in love with her, but every time he thought about it his mind conjured up an image of black hair in a pixie cut and a gentle smile, not Kathryn's long blonde hair. He and Kathryn lapsed into a comfortable silence when their food arrived, and David's mind wandered to the last time he had seen Mary Margaret…
David had seen Mary Margaret just about to leave the hospital and heard himself calling for her before he even registered what he was doing. It was just an impulse he had to stop her and talk to her. He knew she felt guilty over getting close to him when Kathryn had arrived; she'd been avoiding him the last three times she'd been in the hospital. He wouldn't deny that he'd missed her, but seeing her eyes light up as she saw him made it all worthwhile.
"Where you going?" he asked her, before he mentally kicked himself. Well, that was stupid David. Where do you think she's going? Timbuktu?
"Home. I'm done for the day. Shouldn't you be resting?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow.
"Actually, Dr. Whale asked me to start physical therapy. I'm supposed to walk thirty minutes a day on a treadmill or outside with an escort but they're kinda short on personnel because of that thing that happened in the mine," David explained.
"Oh," Mary Margaret, said knowing where he was going with this.
"So… Maybe if there was a volunteer willing to help…"
She smiled at him and his breath caught in his throat. She had a beautiful smile that could light up any room. He offered her his arm and she giggled as she slid her own through his, relishing in the warm he provided.
It was a beautiful say outside. The sun was shining but there was just a hint of a breeze so it wasn't too hot. They remained arm in arm as they engaged in light conversation while they walked the hospital grounds.
"I try to remember this place," David said as they walked. "It's like… it's like I woke up in some strange land."
"Is there anything coming back?" Mary Margaret asked sympathetically. David shook his head. "What about when you're with Kathryn? She brought those photos in the other day. Did you remember anything when you were with her then?"
David noticed the way her voice tightened as she mentioned Kathryn, and it was then that he was sure he wasn't alone in the strange feelings he was experiencing.
"I looked through the photos, but nothing came back. And actually, Kathryn wasn't with me when I looked at them."
"Really?" Mary Margaret asked, feigning surprise. She already knew Kathryn wasn't with him, she'd seen her outside of the hospital only about five minutes after she arrived.
"I asked her to give me some space. I know she's trying – I'm trying, too," David said, causing Mary Margaret's face to fall. It didn't go unnoticed by him. "But I don't love her. She's so lovely, and I don't want to disappoint her. And maybe I am being selfish, but I can't pretend that I feel something for her when I don't feel anything at all. None of it feels real."
Mary Margaret looked up at him, understanding shining in her eyes. "That sounds so lonely."
"Actually, one thing does feel real…" David said, gathering up the courage to tell her. "You."
Mary Margaret stopped walking and turned to face him. "What?" she asked, her mouth gaping open slightly.
"I know it sounds crazy, but I swear, you're the only thing in this whole place that feels right," David explained, reaching for one of her hands with both of his and holding it up between them.
Mary Margaret beamed at him, completely overjoyed. Then Killian's words echoed in her head, causing her to sober up.
"Are you sure that's not just because I'm the one that found you?"
"You may have found me, and for that I am eternally grateful. But gratitude did not influence whatever feelings I have for you, Mary Margaret," David assured her.
"What about Kathryn? You're married, David," Mary Margaret said, thinking of every possible obstacle they had so as to not give herself false hope.
"Kathryn is an amazing woman, and I am so thankful for everything she's done for me. But it's not fair to either of us for me to go on living a life that was never truly mine. She deserves better than a guy who can't even remember her, and even if I did we were already having marriage problems. She deserves to be happy, and I know that I can't make her happy like that."
Mary Margaret looked him in the eye, deciding if he was truly sincere. She found no trace of a lie within his bright blue irises, and she could have jumped for joy.
"Still, it wouldn't be fair to her to go behind her back either. I have to admit, I feel the same way, David," she replied, making David's heart soar. She felt the same! "But we have to wait until you tell her first. And even then, this is all so rushed. Maybe we should wait until you're out of the hospital and see where things lead us," Mary Margaret reasoned.
David didn't want to wait, he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her until they were both starved of breath, but he saw her reasoning. He was just so happy that she felt the same, and for once, things were finally starting to fall into place...
David looked up at Kathryn once their plates had been taken away and he knew that this was the moment to tell her.
"Kathryn…"
"I know what you're going to say, David. You're not sure about going back home," she said with a sad smile.
David was taken aback, and it must have shown because Kathryn started to chuckle.
"You've always been like an open book to me. Although recently you've been a little harder to read. I guess you're right; you are a new man now."
"It's not fair on either of us for me to pretend, Kathryn," David said.
"I know. We both deserve better," Kathryn nodded. "I still love you, David, and I think a part of me always will. But we both know that this is the right thing to do."
"You have been so good to me over the past few weeks, Kathryn, and I am truly thankful. And you deserve someone who will truly love you rather than someone who is trying to remember how to love you," David told her, trying to make his words sound less harsh than they actually were. But Kathryn seemed to understand.
"You know, a few months after you left, I was beginning to get my life back on track. I never forgot about you, but things were… I dunno, easier," she admitted sheepishly. "I was happy once I had gotten over the thought that you had left me. I was never ready to start dating again – we were still technically married – but I had started to realise that maybe the end of our marriage might not be the end of the world. A fresh start for both of us. And then I found you in the hospital, and all of the old feeling just hit me like a wave. I had so many questions that I desperately wanted to know the answer to. But now… I think it's best that I let go of the questions. I'll probably never know the answers anyway."
David nodded at her, not at all hurt by her confession. The old David Nolan might have been, but this David Nolan was just happy that Kathryn had accepted the fact that they were both better off.
"Hey, at least we can say we tried," David said with an easy smile.
"That we can," Kathryn said returning his smile. "I hope we stay friends, David."
"I do, too. You take care of yourself, Kathryn."
"You too," she replied as she got up from the booth. "And David?" she said before she left the diner. "If any of your memories do come back and you wanna talk, you know where to find me," she said with a smile before she departed the diner.
David smiled to himself and got up to see Granny at the counter about getting a room.
Mary Margaret had always felt comfortable with her height, not exactly too small that she was dwarfed by everyone else but not too tall so that she stuck out when she didn't want to. Now, however, she really wished she was a couple of inches taller. Stretching on her tiptoes as she tried to hang the bird box on the tree, she heard a voice from behind her.
"Need a hand?"
Mary Margaret turned her head to look over her shoulder and smiled. "David."
He walked up to the tree and helped Mary Margaret down from her step ladder before taking the bird box off her. "Here," he said, as he attached the bird box to the tree easily.
Mary Margaret smiled. "How's things now that you're out of hospital? I would have stopped by your house to check in but I thought it would be… inappropriate with Kathryn being there, what with everything we talked about…" she tailed off, wringing her hands nervously.
"You wouldn't have found me there anyway. I'm staying at Granny's for the minute," David told her, smiling at her flustered expression.
"You are?" Mary Margaret asked, not bothering to hide the smile that spread across her face.
"Kathryn and I came to a mutual agreement about our marriage; turns out she was thinking along the same lines I was," David said, smiling at Marry Margaret's reaction.
"I'm happy that you both came out of that for the better," Mary Margaret said, though a little bit of remaining guilt niggled at the back of her mind. "She is happy though, right?"
"Yes. She said she would like to remain friends and that she wishes me all the best."
"David, that's excellent," Mary Margaret exclaimed. Before she had time to think she threw her arms around his neck and embraced him as tightly as she could. David hugged her back, his big arms enveloping around her small frame as he gave a light chuckle. That seemed to bring Mary Margaret back down to Earth and she pulled back reluctantly, a blush creepy up her neck.
"I'm sorry, that was very forward of me, I should have…"
"Mary Margaret, how would you like to go on a date with me sometime?" David interrupted, not minding in the slightest that she had hugged him. After all, he had been wanted to do the same thing for a very long time.
"I'd love to," Mary Margaret said genuinely, smiling so much her face threatened to split in half.
It was a relatively normal day at the Sheriff Station, which meant that it was worse than watching paint dry. Of course, none of the officers minded too much, the company provided some entertainment. It had been almost a month since Emma had started working there but Graham and Killian felt like she had always been a part of the team. They all just got on so well together, despite the occasional friction between Killian and Graham that Emma never seemed to notice. And if she did notice it, she just brushed it off as lads' banter, the thought never occurring to her that it may have something to do with her.
Today was no exception; paperwork, laughing, paperwork, ganging up on Graham, paperwork, ganging up on Killian, paperwork, lunch. Speaking of, Graham had just returned with their lunch and a box of… No, it couldn't be. The sheriff walked over to stand in front of Emma's desk and popped the box open. Oh, but it was.
"As Killian has already said, some of the clichés are true," Graham smirked, holding the box of donuts in both hands.
"Okay. What do you want?" Emma asked sceptically. Killian snorted softly at her bluntness without looking up from his work to see Graham glaring at him. Ignoring him, Graham continued.
"Remember when I said no night shifts? I need you to work tonight. Just this once."
"Why?" Emma whined.
"I volunteer at an animal shelter and the supervisor is sick. Someone needs to feed the dogs," Graham explained.
Killian rolled his eyes. He had been wondering how long it would be before he pulled the animal shelter card with Emma. Women always fell for that one.
"Very lucky you bought a bear claw," Emma said, caving under Graham's puppy eyes.
"Oi, Humbert! Where's my bear claw?" Killian asked.
"You already work nights. You'll have to make do with an original glazed," Graham said, passing him the box over.
"Oh well, that's just favouritism," Killian complained sarcastically, causing Emma to grin and shake her head. The sound of footsteps heading to the office made all three of them look up and see Mary Margaret rushing in.
"Emma, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.
Emma looked to the two male officers who both made their (frankly quite lame) excuses and left the two women alone. As soon as they had gone, Mary Margaret practically exploded.
"He left his wife! David! He left her! He left Kathryn!" Mary Margaret blurted out, speaking so fast Emma struggled to catch up with her.
"Okay, slow down," Emma said, trying to calm her friend down.
"He showed up earlier today and asked me on a date. Said that he and Kathryn had a mutual acceptance of their marriage breakdown. I said yes to the date but now I'm wondering if I really did the right thing. I mean, it was his choice to leave her but they had barely been separated for two days and I've already agreed to go out with him. What if she thinks I stole him? Everyone would hate me for it, especially Kathryn and she's so nice and I don't wanna hurt anyone…"
"Mary Margaret!" Emma interrupted loudly, stopping her friend so she could take a breath. "Calm down. I know you might feel a little guilty about this but that's just because of who you are as a person. You would feel guilty for scrubbing the dishes too hard with a Brillopad," Emma said sarcastically, causing her friend to blush. "If they've both accepted that their marriage is not meant to be then you have no reason to feel guilty. That has nothing to do with you; that was their choice and their choice alone. And if David has already asked you out then he must be ready to start dating. Besides, he's hasn't asked you to marry him. It's just a date, and I think you'd be a fool not to go out with a guy who has tried so hard to be with you," Emma reasoned.
Her friend sighed, and then smiled at Emma. "I guess you're right," she conceded. "I just wish you would listen to your own advice."
"What do you mean?" Emma asked, confused.
"Killian?" Mary Margaret prompted. Emma rolled her eyes. "I know you have these walls, Emma, but like you said – it's one date with a guy who has been waiting a month since asking you."
Emma thought about her words. She would be pretty bad at giving advice if she couldn't even take her own. Besides, Emma wasn't going to deny that she was happier around Killian. She knew her walls were coming down bit by bit.
"I'll think about it," Emma said. Mary Margaret raised an eyebrow at Emma. "Okay, one date," she sighed, causing Mary Margaret to clap her hands together. "But not just yet, okay? Maybe in another couple of weeks. I just… don't think I'm there yet," Emma admitted.
"I'm sure you'll be there soon, Emma," Mary Margaret said, grabbing Emma's hand and giving it a squeeze. "I have to dash, but I'll see you later."
"See ya," Emma called to her friend, smiling to herself. She was really happy for Mary Margaret; someone as nice as she deserved to be that happy. And maybe Emma deserved to be that happy, too.
Graham was in his office while Emma and Mary Margaret were discussing things, while Killian had said he was going to check the supply cupboard. He was rarely in his office, preferring to be in the main department with Killian and now Emma, so it was a bit of a mess. While being secluded off from the rest of the room, the office wasn't completely soundproof. However, Graham thought that it would do for the time being. That was until Mary Margaret had gotten excited about Emma's love-life.
"I just wish you'd take your own advice," she had said.
"What do you mean?"
"Killian?"
Graham had tried not to pay attention, he really did, but as soon as his roommate's name was mentioned he couldn't help it.
"…it's one date with a guy who has been waiting a month since asking you."
What? Killian had asked Emma out a month ago and didn't even tell him? Graham frowned to himself. He felt jealous, obviously, but there was something else. Anger? Hurt? No, it wasn't either of those. It was betrayal. His best friend, the man who he lived with and thought of as a brother had kept this secret about Emma from him for an entire month!
You had kept your secret about Regina from him for God knows how long, a voice said inside Graham's head, but he willed it to be quiet. It wasn't the same as him and Regina. Wasn't it? Graham wasn't sure what to think anymore. He shouldn't need to think anything about it! Killian was right, these bloody women would be the death of him. His love-life was screwed up enough anyway. Why involve Emma? But maybe Killian had only discouraged Graham from any relationships because he wanted Emma for himself…
No, of course not. Killian would never do that. He believed in good form, and was probably only protecting Emma. He probably didn't tell Graham about his affection for her because he could tell that Graham himself liked Emma. But he still couldn't get this niggling feeling out of his mind that Killian had gone behind his back.
Graham shook the thought out of his head and focused on what he was doing. He would be seeing Regina tonight so maybe that would clear his head a bit. Yes, he was seeing Regina, and Emma was covering his shift. With Killian. His stomach began to tie itself in knots over that thought. Suddenly he really regretted getting Emma to cover for him.
Killian arrived back at the station with two coffees in his hands. He walked around the corner and saw Emma glancing at some papers in her lap with her feet on the desk. A smile tugged at his lips when he saw her. Since Henry had gotten lost down the mines Emma and Killian had become a lot closer. It was like Henry was a catalyst for them both, and all of a sudden they were taking lunch breaks together, they had little inside jokes with each other, and they flirted non-stop. Well, they'd always taken part in a bit of harmless flirting, but adding it to everything else that had been going on, it was starting to become less harmless than either of them had realised.
"One coffee," Killian said as placed her cup down on her desk.
"You're the best," Emma said by way of thanks before she took a grateful sip of the warm caffeinated liquid.
"It has been said," he replied. Emma rolled her eyes at him.
"So, what do we do on a night shift? And if you dare say stakeout I swear, I will leave you to do this shift on your own," Emma threatened.
Killian chuckled at her. "No, it's more just a late night patrol and manning the phones. And you wouldn't leave, you'd miss me too much," Killian said cheekily.
"What makes you think that?" Emma shot back.
Well, well, Swan. Are you flirting?
"Because I'm devilishly handsome and unbelievably charming," Killian replied, not wanting to scare Emma off with a blunt response of how her feelings for him were changing.
"I thought we'd already established that David was Prince Charming, not you," Emma replied.
"Touché, Swan," Killian smirked, raising his cup to her before he took a drink. "Well, it's almost ten o'clock so we'd best go on patrol now."
Killian was driving the car while Emma found a radio station that wasn't awful. Graham always had some crappy 80s disco station on, which cracked Emma and Killian up. They were so going to bring that up tomorrow. The two had lapsed into comfortable conversation while they drove round on patrol, so Killian immediately perked up when Emma abruptly stopped talking. He had barely finished pulling the car up before Emma jumped out of the car. Killian quickly followed, realising they were outside of Regina's house.
"Emma, what is it?" Killian whispered as he followed her.
"I think I saw someone climbing out the window of Regina's house," she replied.
Killian's eyes widened as he realised what was going on. How could he have been so stupid?
"Emma, wait…"
But it was too late, Emma had already clobbered the guy sneaking out of Regina's house. Killian scrunched his face up as he saw his friend get up sheepishly and face Emma.
"This is volunteering?" she asked incredulously.
"Plans changed," Graham lied pathetically. "Regina needed me to – "
"Sleep with her?" Emma interrupted.
"No."
"Then why were you sneaking out the window?"
Busted.
Graham sighed, defeated. "Because she didn't want Henry to know."
Emma and Killian's eyes widened. "You did this with Henry in the house?" Emma asked in disbelief.
"He's asleep, he doesn't know," Graham defended.
"Oh my God. I wish I was Henry right now. This is disgusting," Emma said, backing away from him.
"I really do work at an animal shelter."
Killian almost laughed at that one. He had just made a complete arse out of himself and he was still trying to pull the animal shelter card.
"You can finish my shift. I'm done working nights," Emma said, shoving the car keys to Graham before she stormed off back to the station.
Killian shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at his friend, disappointment filling his eyes.
"Bad form, mate," he said, and then he turned around and followed Emma back to the station, leaving Graham alone in the street.
Once they had gotten back to the station, Emma had calmed down a bit. She explained to Killian that she was only mad because she and Graham were supposed to be friends and he'd kept this from her. And also the fact that they'd had sex while Henry was in the house. Killian told her that he was in the same boat until recently, but he had no idea that Henry was in the house. Secretly, he was happy Emma was mad at Graham for that, because it meant that she wasn't bothered at all that he was actually sleeping with someone else. But he quickly shoved that feeling down. It was bad form to celebrate at a friend's misfortune.
Killian had said a quick goodnight to Emma and they left the station about five minutes later to go home. Killian was still awake thinking about Emma when Graham came in from his shift.
Killian turned his head from his seat on the couch to look at his friend. Graham looked more tired than Killian had ever seen him. His hair was dishevelled like he'd ran his hands through it a million times and he had dark circles around his eyes. He knew Graham was suffering from nightmares at the minute, but he'd only just now realised what a toll they had taken on him. Graham spotted Killian watching him and sighed.
"Don't even start, Jones," Graham said, really not in the mood for a lecture.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Graham. I thought you were ending things with Regina?" Killian asked.
"Why do you care about me and Regina?" Graham snapped suddenly.
"What do you mean why do I care? You're like a brother to me, of course I care."
"Really? Because last I checked, brothers don't keep secrets from each other!"
"What, like you did with Regina?" Killian said, standing up from his place on the couch.
"At least I told you about that eventually. Were you ever planning on telling me that you'd asked Emma out on a date?" Graham blurted out.
Killian took a step back as thought Graham's words has physically knocked him.
"How do you know about that?" Killian asked.
"It doesn't matter how I know, Killian. It only matters why you didn't tell me in the first place," Graham shouted.
"Because you obviously wanted to get in there first," Killian shouted back, matching Graham's volume. "Though I have no idea why since you already have Regina. But you just couldn't get enough, could you? The bitch of a mayor obviously wasn't enough for you," Killian ranted. It was like a dam had exploded; he had been holding back his jealousy towards Graham's affection for Emma for so long.
"Don't make this out like I meant for this to happen, Killian," Graham said.
"What, you think I did? The woman is driving me insane! I can't do anything about my affection for her because I'm constantly walking on eggshells around you in case I hurt your oh-so delicate feelings!" Killian shot back, gesturing animatedly. "I have been trying to help you with everything that's going on with Regina, but you decided to fuck this one up, Graham. You were the one who decided to sleep with one while trying to get off with the other because you were too afraid to leave Regina. The only reason you want to be with Emma is because you don't want to be with Regina anymore and you're just too scared to admit it."
Graham was quiet for a long time, regarding his friend with no emotion, letting his words sink in. The silence of the house was eerie after their intense shouting match. Killian shook his head.
"You know what, screw this. You wanna fool around with both, be my guest. But after that little stunt tonight, let's just see which one of us Emma has trouble looking in the eye," Killian said tightly. The deputy turned around and stalked out of the room, leaving Graham alone for the second time that night.