I wasn't supposed to be here.

There was blood all over the floor, all over the walls, so thick it made some of the medic nin sick. I would have thought that something about the smell would have made me sick, too; but it did not. All it did was remind me of the blood that I had shed years ago. About the people that I had mindlessly killed, all for nothing.

Loud beeping was echoing through Ino's chaotic ward, as she lay spread on her bed, blood rising from her mouth every time the medics tried to push air into her lungs. She wasn't in a coma like Matsuri had told me. Ino had died.

I shouldn't be here, but I can't get myself to see that I need to. Ino was dead, and the medics were trying their best to bring her back to life.

"Kazekage, sir, you need to get out of here," one of the medics said to me. He was covered in blood and he looked far too stressed to be in an emergency situation like this. "We can't afford to have you around, not when the blood everywhere like this. You could get infected, sir."

Reality hit me. This ward was full of Ino's blood, contaminated blood that contained a deadly virus. My medics were in here, trying to save her life while they willingly put their own lives on the line. If they ever came down with the same disease as her...

"Gaara!" It was Temari. She was scared, the look in her eyes almost terrified. "Hurry up Gaara, get out of there!"

I took one last look at the medics, at the blood on the walls and all over the floor, and one last look at Ino, as she lay lifeless covered in her own blood. I walked out.

O0o0o0o0o0o

Temari was crying. It was horrible to watch, as she slammed her fists on my table angrily, loud whimpers echoing through my boring apartment. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. I couldn't comfort her, I wouldn't know how to do it, even if I tried. It worried me to see her like this though, my sister was strong, very strong, but yet seeing her friend in such a state has turned her into someone that I didn't know.

"Aren't you even upset?" She looked at me suddenly, her eyes puffy and swollen.

I just stood looking at her, awkward and unsure.

She then stood strong, stormed over to me and shoved me in the chest. I didn't budge, which seemed to infuriate her even more. "I can't believe you!" she screamed. "She was my friend, Gaara! She was your friend! And you're just standing there like you don't even give a shit!"

I couldn't think about Ino, she was dead now. The only thing I needed to think about was to make sure my medics didn't catch her disease. If they contracted it and then went out into the village, then everything could turn bad, and the council would then have my title removed.

Temari's breathing was heavy as she took a step away from me. She wiped at the tears on her cheeks and sniffled a little. "You really don't have any feelings at all, do you?" Her dark blue eyes, which often seemed to change color in the light, stared me down. "If I were to die Gaara, or if Kankuro died, would you even mourn for us? Would you shed a tear at all? Because I know I would do it for you, and so would Kankuro." She was still crying, whimpering, but I sensed that she was still angry. "We always knew that it would be hard for you to love us, Gaara, but we still hope that some where deep down you do. We love you, and if you died... it would kill us inside. You're our little brother, and we will love you no matter what."

Love. I was still insure what it meant. If love was to make someone feel the way Temari was feeling, to make yourself become in such a state that you could barely comprehend what was going on, what was the point? What was the point of having to go through all of this trouble?

"You don't care about us," her bottom lip trembled. "I can see it in your eyes. If we died tomorrow you wouldn't have a care in the world, just like how Ino has died today. You don't care." her voice grew louder, more infuriated. "You heartless bastard!" she screamed at me. "You only care about yourself! Yet you let everyone around you care about you! Go screw yourself!"

I opened my mouth a little, to say something that would somehow reassure her that I did care for her, I just didn't know how I was able to care, but she walked out on me. Temari slammed the door so hard, the walls shook around me.

I was left alone, like I always was, to think and over analyze everything.

O0o0o0o0o0o

I went to my office for the rest of the day, finished off all of my paper work that I needed to finish, arranged all the meetings I needed to arrange. It didn't take me long, only six hours, but it was enough to take my mind off what was happening.

As the night sky set in, I didn't even feel tired at all. It was rare for me to sleep, and for once I wish I was tired, I wish that I was able to sleep and get away from all of this.

Now that I had nothing to do, I found myself drawing circles on my desk with my finger, with my head leaning in my other hand. It was entertaining for awhile, but eventually my thoughts got the better of me. I didn't like seeing Temari so upset, and something inside me tugged when I thought about her crying. It wasn't there when she was standing in front me, tears falling down her cheeks, only now that I really thought about it, I could feel the tugging sensation getting stronger. Temari was my sister, why didn't I care about her? She loved me, and that was more than I could ask from her.

I then started to think about Ino and there was something inside me that almost felt sorry for her. She didn't get to say goodbye to the people she loved before she died. She never got the chance to see her father, her mother, or her friends back in Konoha. I never said goodbye to her.

I felt guilty. She died on my watch and Naruto trusted me to look after her. I had failed him. What was he going to say when I notified him that one of his most trusted ninja had died on my watch?

I started to remember the loneliness I felt as a child. The sadness that used to overwhelm me everyday. All I had wanted was for someone to love me, to care about me and treat me like I was theirs, but no one ever did. It took everyone years before they began to trust me, even my brother and sister. But they loved me, no matter what I did. I never had the chance to tell them that I loved them.

With a frustrated sigh, I ran my hands through my hair. I forgot that it was short now, that Ino had cut if for me a few weeks ago.

She was alive a few weeks ago.

She was different, Ino was, and something about her made me different. Like Matsuri said, I looked at her differently, I acted strange when she was around, and now I was beginning to see that. For days I invited Ino into my office as I did my work, but why did I do it? I used to tell myself that it was because she wasn't used to being alone, that she needed the company, but what that really true? I even invited her into my own home, let her use my apartment while I stayed in my office till all hours of the night. I wasn't sure why I did it. Was it because I wanted to see her every time I went home? Was it because I enjoyed her company? Was it because I was attracted to her?

Something splashed on my desk. It was a warm type of liquid, but small. I looked down to see a very small puddle of what looked like water. I glanced up to the roof, to see where it was coming from, I thought that maybe it was rain, but as I looked my vision was glassy. There was something in my eyes, and I wiped at them only to see my robes dampened. I was crying.

I stared at my robes for what seemed like hours. I was crying. It had been years since I cried, and it was such a strange feeling. The small tears that ran down my cheek, they brought back memories about how I used to feel. I was sad all the time, and back then I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't have any feelings at all. But now I felt sad again. I was sure it was because of Ino, because she had died and I did nothing to stop it. I was never going to see her again. I wouldn't see her blonde hair, her beautiful smile, I would never be able to kiss her again.

I stood from my chair and made my way out of the door. I headed towards the hospital, I needed to see Ino before they carried her back to Konoha. She was going to be in a mess when I saw her, I knew that, but I couldn't resist. I needed to say goodbye.

O0o0o0o0o0o

I didn't expect her to look so serene. She seemed at peace.

I struggled initially, to walk into the ward, but it was cleaner than it was this morning. There was no blood anymore, no rushing medics, as Ino lay peacefully on her soft white sheeted bed.

With slow, quiet steps, I made my way to her bed, and sat at her side. Her skin was pale and blue, the color of dead. It saddened me so much, I felt it in my heart.

I reached out to her and lightly touched my fingers to her golden hair. It was still soft and silky, like it was when I had touched it when she was alive. I thought that maybe there would have been a difference, that maybe it would have felt coarse or ragged, not soft. I pushed it away from her eye, the one she hid from me for so long, only to be shocked at what I saw.

There was no infection anymore.

I had to stand to my feet quickly, as I was confused as to what was going on. Ino was diseased, she had an infection that was covering her eye, but now it was no longer there. Her skin was smooth and it looked like it hadn't been tainted at all.

My hands ran through my hair wearily. I didn't know what was going on. I was even more shocked when I saw her chest moving up and down.