Sorry this chapter is rather late! But I'm here now! *dodges flying books* apologies... Anyway, please enjoy!
Thank you for all of the reviews! Sorry I didn't reply, I promise to be better this time...
Chapter 10
There was a bang at the door. I leaped up and ran to it, throwing the door open and throwing my arms around the being on the other side.
"Ancala! What took you so long!?" I cried. He patted my head in reply.
"Apologies, Caladiel. I was busy." He said, moving into the room and slamming the door shut, moving to the bed and flopping down on it. Then he noticed Esgalnoron.
"What in the name of- what is that?" He moved away as Esgalnoron snorted, blowing a huff of fire at the dragon.
"It's only Esgalnoron." I replied, and he looked at the wolf funnily, who gave him a fanged grin in reply as I snickered.
"What have you come for, Ancalagon?" Sauron asked sourly, not looking up from his desk.
"Just a visit to my favorite being in all of Angamando." Ancala replied, petting Esgalnoron's head absently. If a wolf could scowl, I'm sure he would have. I guess Ancala doesn't pet as well as I do.
"Which is?"
"Need you ask?" The dragon flicked his fingers in my direction, causing a fiery plume to waft my way, which morphed into a dragon that flew about my head until I waved it away in a puff of smoke.
"I'm honored." I said dryly, and then plopped down next to Esgalnoron. Ancala flicked a questioning glance to Sauron, to which I shook my head. He gave me a frown, and I scowled in reply. He sighed and rolled his eyes. So what if I hadn't gotten Ada over to our side yet? It's not that easy you know!
"Well. Caladiel, when are you going to come visit the rest of the dragons?" He asked lazily, settling himself so that his head was in my lap. I curled my lip at him incredulously.
"And put up with that miserable excuse of a wyrm, Scatha?" I snorted incredulously. "No way this side of Mandos, Ancala!" I retorted. He rolled his eyes at me, but I just shot him a look to show that I understood his hidden message. In other words, he had obviously something to tell me about the dragons that I needed to know.
"Fine. How about then I take you for a ride out to Thangorodrim and meet the dragons there?" He suggested. I shrugged.
"Alright. Why not? I haven't seen daylight in a long time." I agreed, and Sauron looked up.
"Just don't be late for your hour with master." And he looked back down again. I nodded.
"Yes Ada, I won't." I said, and Ancala jacked himself up, taking my hand and pulling me negligently towards the door. Something dug into my shoulder, and I looked back to see that it was Esgalnoron in his Phoenix form, perched on my shoulder.
The human/dragon pulled me through hallways and corridors, doors and archways, until we finally came to a large, empty spot outside the walls of Angband.
The sunlight was beautiful. It had been so long since I had seen it, and I now drank it in, the brightness, the warmth, the comfort. I closed my eyes in relief, feeling tears in my eyes from being able so enjoy just the simple happiness of seeing the sun. It was something I would never take for granted again.
Ancalagon, in the meantime, had morphed himself back into a dragon, and in a moment he had snatched me up in his claws and was taking a leap off of the ground. I let out a yell.
"Ancala! At least put me on your back!" I shrieked, squirming. The dragon let out a chuckle.
"As you wish." And so saying, he threw me up into the air, screaming, and maneuvered himself so that I landed on top of him. Esgalnoron just flew beside the dragon, but when I had situated myself relatively comfortably on Ancala's back, perched on my shoulder once more.
The view below was quite incredible, and inside I was fangirling like crazy. After all, this is Beleriand! I strained my eyes towards the horizon, and just barely managed to pick out the mountain we were headed for- Thangorodrim.
"So- tell me, Ancala, why are we going to Thangorodrim again?" I called over the wind.
"There are five now who are Faithful." Was his reply, his voice deep and sure. It was rather different from his human or elvish voice- in fact, the only way you'd know it was the same being was that both were just as egotistical. Seriously.
"And one of them has news as well, something that you should hear. Besides the few dragons, there is also a single Balrog who is Faithful as well. You know just as well as I do that Balrogs tend to hear everything that goes on in Angband." Ancalagon went on.
"Yeah." I answered.
"So we are going to the mountain so that there we can be free from fear of any spies." He finished.
"Alright. Where have you been lately?" I asked. The mountain was nearing quite swiftly now.
"Doing errands." Was his simple answer. "Spy work. It's degrading." He snorted, sending an indignant plume of flame towards the direction of the mountain. I patted his head.
"At least you aren't doing anything that would be detrimental to the Faithful." I reminded comfortingly, and he sighed.
"I suppose." Was his answer, and then we had arrived at the mountain. Ancalagon winged himself up near the top of the mountain to a large ledge that was there. There were already four dragons gathered, but no other beings were there.
I slid off of Ancala's scales and landed in a heap on the ground, groaning. I had grown again. Now I was the size of an eighteen year old. It was so frustrating, and I had difficulties trying to get used to the rapid changes in size. Esgalnoron nudged me, back in his wolf form. I reached up and patted his head gently in reassurance.
Then I stood, to see the dragons staring at me. "Mae Govannen." I said automatically, and they inclined their heads in a reply of greeting.
Ancala began to speak. "Caladiel, Esgalnoron, this is Kalarion, Glaurthag, Jura, and Amlugial. They are the Faithful." He introduced. I nodded.
"It is good to know that I am not the only one. It's good to see you again, Kalarion." I replied, and said white dragon nodded.
"Ancala says you have news." I ventured, and Amlugial stepped forwards slightly. He was a pure, golden colored dragon, with amber eyes set like jewels in his head. A very delicately beautiful dragon.
"Yes. The one Balrog who is Faithful- his name is Norgaladir- has heard news from Gothmog." He snorted to show what he thought of the leader of the Balrogs. "It has been heard that Morgoth is attempting to find Gondolin more than ever now, and Norgaladir has heard Gothmog and he going over plans to find the city and infiltrate it." He went on.
I felt a flash of panic. Oh no, no no no no no. Gondolin was my most favorite elven city of all time. So many of my favorite elves come from there. Glorfindel, Ecthelion, Maeglin, and some others... Although perhaps if I met him in real life then Maeglin would cease to be one of my favored elves. I just pity him so much...
I forced myself to latch back into what Amlugial had to say. "... To scout for the three with the Silmaril, but I didn't see them anywhere." He said, sounding rather nonplused.
"Because the eagles took them away." I said absent-mindedly, trying to determine a way to see if somehow I could stop the fall of Gondolin. History would not change- all I had to do was convince Turgon to listen to Tuor and then join lady Elwing...
"How could you know?" Glaurthag asked. He was a dark chocolate brown dragon with eyes of coal that shone with an inner fire.
Then I realized my mistake and inwardly scolded myself. "Ah- I believe I said before that I was a seer." I replied quickly. Ancala gave me a long look, but it was Jura, the pale green dragon, who spoke.
"Then can you tell what will happen in the future?" He asked. I sighed.
"I dare not. Even if I have seen the future, it is not set. Things may happen, and they may not- for visions show many things; things that were, things that are, things that have not yet come to pass, but might." I borrowed words from lady Galadriel.
There was a silence. "Well then." Ancalagon broke it. "We cannot do anything but wait, now." He said.
I pet Eagalnoron's head thoughtfully. "I'm sure you know that I've been trying to slowly get Sauron to our side." I said slowly. The dragons all paid me attention, and Ancala nodded for me to go on.
"I have not yet breached the subject of Eru or anything yet, because he is still too much Sauron. I don't know why, but somehow because of my presence, Mairon has been coming back. He pops up in the oddest of places, seemingly randomly, but now I begin to see a pattern." I went on. Esgalnoron's ears perked up, and I patted them down as he flicked them at me.
"Mairon and Sauron are very different, but now they have begun to integrate into each other. And it seems to happen predominately whenever I do or say something that indicates any form of fondness or wish to be associated with him." I said thoughtfully.
"Maybe if I am very careful so as not to alert him or anyone else, I can coax the integrated version to stay permanently. That's the only way we're gonna get him to be Faithful. But I don't know how long that will take, neither do I know how long I have..." I sighed as Esgalnoron nudged me with a whine.
"I don't think you have very long." Amlugial admitted. "Because if I'm right... Norgaladir mentioned one plan favored by Melkor that included you."
I turned white. "Oh no." I whispered. "Oh no, not good. Not good..." I muttered, beginning to feel the start of a panic attack.
"Calm down, Caladiel. There's no need for histrionics, think of what you can do to tamper with Melkor's plans if you do get sent." Ancalagon said ruthlessly, ignoring my panicking. But it worked.
"Snap." I muttered under my breath. "Fine. If I do then I'll think of something. Thank you for warning me." I sighed, and then turned to Esgalnoron. "I told you you would need that form sooner or later." I told him.
"You were right." Was his answer. I had forgotten that he could speak in wolf form.
"Well. We had better get back now. I think it's about time for your hour, Caladiel, isn't it?" Ancalagon asked, and I nodded.
"I think so." I replied. "I hate that one hour of the day." I grumbled, climbing back onto Ancalagon's scales as he took off back towards the fortress. Now if only I could somehow figure out a way to hurry up and get Sauron on our side...
_Silmarillion_Dark_Lords_Silmarillion_
Yes, I am back in Morgoth's lap, and yes, he is still seething in freezing cold anger. And yes, as always, I am attempting not to shiver and failing miserably. You know what? I really, truly hate him. I hate his deeds, I hate his thoughts, I hate his plans, and I hate him. I wish Melkor were back. But alas, that is not to be.
And I hate his touch. It makes me feel filthy. His hand even now is raking through my white locks of hair, untangling it, getting it snagged on his nails, running his cold fingers down my arm and sometimes down the side of my face.
Now I'm beginning to wish that I had taken Finrod's invitation and gone with him. I shook my head. No, I couldn't do that- Morgoth would rip all of Arda apart searching for me, of that I was sure. All I had to do was try to hang on until the War of Wrath, and then- and then I could be free again. I just need to convince Sauron to integrate with Mairon before that time. And I'm not sure how many years I have until then either.
I attempted to calculate it in my head. Beren and Luthien and Finrod had just taken the Silmarils two days ago. That meant that in the span of approximately 44 years Gondolin would fall, and after that another 77 years would pass until the Wars would happen and I could be free of Melkor forever more.
But even though I'm immortal, that seems like a long time to me to stay here. What I need to do is get Sauron turned, turn as many more Dragons and Balrogs as I can, get Gondolin saved, make Eärendil and Elwing meet, and then hightail it out of Angband with all of the Faithful and hide somewhere. Anywhere, so long as it created pandemonium so that Melkor would be too busy trying to sort things out to come after us.
But for the immortal life of me, I have no idea where to start. I placed my head in my hands, rubbing it to attempt to simultaneously get rid of the pounding headache that throbbed behind my temples and at the same time stimulate my brain to think of something. Anything. Even a semi-plausible idea would work, since then I could improvise from here.
But my mind was utterly blank. I so wish there were someone else here that knew my plight in knowing the future. I stifled the sigh that rose to my lips, utterly frustrated at myself, leaning my head back until it was resting against the front of Morgoth's armrest. His finger trailed down my cheek and I repressed a shudder at the intimate gesture that I so hated.
"Do you hate me, my pet?" Melkor's sudden question startled me so badly that I nearly shrieked. As it was, my eyes flew open as I looked at him with consternation and bewilderment. He raised an eyebrow at me.
"Well?" But his face seemed mildly amused. I blinked, and then answered cautiously.
"It depends on who's asking, master." I replied, dancing around the issue.
"Oh?" He sent me an intrigued look. Where the Void did this come from?
"Yes. It depends if Melkor or Morgoth is asking." I replied blankly, keeping my tone matter-of-fact as I shrugged. Morgoth's face lost all expression as he looked at me.
"And who do you think is speaking?" He asked tonelessly. I gave him a cheeky grin.
"My master, of course." Was my clever answer. A smile twitched on his lips.
"Clever, my pet, but you still haven't answered the question. Now stop stalling." He said in an amused tone of voice.
I shrugged. "Yes and no, master. I fear you, yes, and your temper and anger, and yet for all that, you are cunning." I answered. Okay, so I was dodging the issue, but I had still technically answered his question. He seemed to be pondering my question, and I suddenly wondered if Melkor was trying to surface. Then he gave me an icy smile.
"Foolish child. And yet at the same time wise above your years." Was his only comment, and he began to resume his attention to my hair. I felt myself close my eyes in relief, though outwardly I nonchalantly resumed my former relaxed position.
No, there was no hope. Melkor was gone forever, and only Moringotto was left. Nothing could change that, now.
_Silmarillion_Dark_Lords_Silmarillion_
"You said what!?" Sauron stared at me like I had gone mad. I blinked at him in reply.
"You didn't expect me to lie, surely?" I retorted. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling, choosing not to answer my question as though it were rhetorical.
"Foolish child." He hissed, grabbing my hand and yanking me forwards before shoving me into the river of lava. I came up gasping for air and clambered out, attempting to get the stuff off of my face before it hardened and I couldn't see.
"I cannot do anything more, Ada." I said in frustration, slamming my hand down on his table and sending chunks of rock flying everywhere. Esgalnoron was on the bed, hackles raised though he did nothing in response to the warning look I shot him to stay put.
"How hard is it to say no!" He shouted in reply, turning back to me with rage on his face. I paused, staring at him.
"Why do you care?" I asked, curiosity in my tone. He drew up, staring at me as though he suddenly just realized that I was there. Then snarling an oath, he turned back around and ignored me. I curled my lip.
Walking around him, I looked up into his face as he glowered at me. "Why do you care?" I reiterated. He continued to fume, saying nothing, clenching and unclenching his fists.
"Because you are going to get yourself killed if you are not careful and it would be a waste." He snarled. I shook my head with a disappointed look on my face. Stepping forwards, I wrapped my arms around his torso and leaned my head against his shirt.
"Why do you really care?" I asked, voice muffled in his shirt. I felt all of his muscles stiffen underneath my hands. Unable to help myself, I ran my hands up and down his back, feeling the flesh underneath the shirt, being comforted by his warmth and security.
His hands clenched on my shoulders, but they didn't wrench me away from him. His heavy breathing calmed, though he continued to simmer somewhat. I rubbed my nose against his shirt, peering up at him as he stared down at me.
"I love you, Ada." I said forlornly, knowing that I would perhaps never hear the sentiment returned. He stared down at me, and I saw something in his eyes change a little more. Mairon had integrated a little more than before now. Just a few more months, and he would be almost completely integrated.
"You should sleep." Sauron said roughly, pulling me away, albeit gently, and pushing me towards the bed. I obediently made my way back to the bed and lay down, curling up next to Esgalnoron who nudged me gently. Sauron stalked away to another chamber, boots clicking against the stone. A stone door slammed, and I buried myself into Esgalnoron's fur.
~Do you think-?~ He didn't need to finish.
I looked up into his eyes, and then sighed. ~Esgalnoron, I have something to tell you. I need to tell someone, and you must be the one. Promise me that you will tell absolutely no one.~ I pleaded. He nodded gravely.
~I promise.~ Was his solemn reply.
I paused to gather my thoughts. ~Do you remember I told you that I was a seer of sorts?~ I asked.
~Yes.~ He answered. I gave him a thin smile.
~Well that's one way to look at it. In truth, I'm not even from Arda or Aman. I am from another planet altogether in Eä.~ I said truthfully. He stared.
~How then did you get here?~ He asked incredulously, and it suddenly registered in my own mind that since he was technically a Maia, he would know of the existence of other planets.
~Well, lord Nàmo actually brought me here. He gave me a new hroä, made me into a vessel of light for the secret fire, and then tossed me onto the shores nearby Tol-in-Guarth. The rest you know.~ I said dryly, shooting him a look. He nodded slowly.
~But why? And what has that got to do with being a seer?~ He asked.
I sighed. ~In my world, this is all a story, Esgalnoron. Why was I brought here? I don't know. But I have a feeling it has something to do with the knowledge that I bear. Everything that has happened, everything that WILL happen- I have read it all.~ I answered flatly. He shot me an indiscernible look.
There was a silence as he digested that, then he answered. ~I think now I begin to see.~ He paused. ~It is a heavy burden on you.~ He realized. I sent him a pained smile.
~Yes. Imagine knowing everything that is to happen for the next several millennia.~ I said sarcastically, and he flinched at the thought.
~To know every war that will happen, every death... Will you not prevent things?~ He asked with some concern in his voice.
~Good Valar no! Many things I cannot in good conscience change, no matter if I am given a chance or not. Some things must happen for the better good. There are a few things I may change that were unnecessary, however, and I believe I can do that without causing anything too major to change for the worse. For example, Finrod. Technically, he shouldn't still be alive.~ I answered, and he nodded in relief.
~Good. It is wise, I deem, to leave well enough alone.~ He said. I nodded. ~Why did he turn? Melkor, I mean? Why does Eru allow these things to happen?~ He asked, sounding frustrated. I sighed.
~I don't have all of the answers, Esgalnoron. I don't think we'll ever know why Melkor turned. But as to why Eru allows it, I heard this saying once before: 'Nothing is truly free- even rebellion is chained.'~ I answered, leaving him to think about it.
I hadn't even realized how tired I was until I fell asleep to the sound of Esgalnoron's tail swishing against the bed.
_Silmarillion_Dark_Lords_Silmarillion_
It has been three years. Three whole years. Three years of a total of 8,360 some odd hours in Morgoth's freezing cold presence, three years of not knowing the cause of my hunger, three years of trying to get Mairon to successfully integrate with Sauron, three years of trying to avoid Moringotto as much as possible and foil his plans, and three years of trying to figure out what to do with my knowledge.
Without Esgalnoron, I KNOW I would have most definitely gone mad by now. He has been my rock through it all, my help and my comfort. Ancalagon has been a help too, but no one more than Esgalnoron. He prefers his wolf form, it seems, though he does on occasion use his Phoenix form.
So far, Sauron has half-way integrated with Mairon. Right now he's stabilized a lot more than he had in the past, and I don't have to tiptoe around him anymore for fear of violent outbursts that used to end up with me sporting rocky clothes. But neither is he entirely integrated, which means that though he is more open now to the idea of anything Eru-related, he is certainly not going to say anything remotely near to 'I love you.' More the pity, in my opinion. Because to be honest, that's my goal. If I can hear Ada say it to me just one time, I'll die happy in any circumstance.
But that's off-topic. Getting back to the present reality- I'm currently back in Morgoth's hated, detested, despised presence. I scowled inwardly, leaning against Morgoth's armrest, feet propped up on Esgalnoron's back, fingers being tangled into my hair. Over the years, I had practiced keeping up a more evil front, trying to keep up the ruse of growing 'darker' as Morgoth had said. It seemed to have worked.
"I have a task for you, my pet." Morgoth suddenly spoke up. I stiffened slightly. Oh no. Every time I heard him say that to a dragon or whoever, it usually meant a mission for something or another. Oh dear Valar, save me.
"Yes master?" Was my only reply, detached of emotion and flat-sounding. Almost nonchalant. The fingers in my hair stopped tanking and instead began to rake soothingly against my scalp. If he expected me to accept that as a peace offering, he was hugely mistaken.
"Yes. You know, I've been trying to find something. Another treasure, one that your former kin has hidden from me. I want you to find it for me. Can you do that for me, my pet?" He purred, leaning down and trailing a finger down my spine. It took all of my self-control that I had gathered over the past years to keep from doing something rash to get away from that hand. Oh Valar, it was like cockroaches climbing all over me.
"What do you want me to find, master?" I asked instead, reaching up to lace my fingers into his cold, clammy ones burnt black, looking up at him with a feigned adoring look on my face. Oh how I hated doing this, treating him like a dog would his dearest master. He smiled down at me, and though it was not very nice, I suppose it was as nice as it could possibly get.
He was fond of me in his own way, always telling me that I was beautiful, always telling me that I was his most beloved treasure- AFTER the Silmarils. It disgusted me. But what choice do I have? I'm just surprised he hasn't formulated any plans for me in his head like he had for Lúthien. Thank the Valar for small mercies.
He chuckled, leaning over and then pulling me into his lap, running a nail down my cheek with an indulgent smirk. He leaned forwards until his face was close to mine and replied. "I want you to find Gondolin for me." He murmured, running his nose up my cheek. It took all I had not to shudder, swallowing back the bile that rose to my throat.
"Gondolin? How, master?" Was my only reply, desperately hoping I didn't sound strangled. He pulled back, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't care how, just as long as you find it and tell me where it is." He answered. Then he gave me a sickly smile. "You'll do it for me, won't you, dear pet?" He asked, honey dripping from every word. I swallowed.
"H-how long do I have?" I asked noncommittally. He smiled triumphantly.
"As long as you need, I don't care how long. I have forever, you know." He replied, running a nail down the front of my shirt. I looked down at his finger blankly. Great. Now I need to formulate a plan... I need to ask Ancala and Esgalnoron what to do!
"Yes master. I'll do it." I replied, taking his hand into mine and holding it to my cheek. He stroked it, a smugly pleased look on his face.
"Good, my pet. When you find it, I expect you to contact me somehow so that I can make a nice surprise for them." He said. I nodded.
"I'll tell Ada, master, and he can tell you." I said innocently, and he smiled at me.
"Good, Caladiel. Master is proud of his little pet." Melkor said, and then fell silent, obviously gloating at the thought of being able to destroy Gondolin. In the meantime, I was struggling to control myself from throwing up.
He finally let me go, and the first thing I did was swing myself onto Esgalnoron, who took off out the room down the hall and straight to our quarters, where Sauron was interrogating an orc. I was in a quandary, feeling miserable. I was feeling sick, scared, nervous, cold, and hungry since my light was put away again.
Sauron and the orc turned to look at me as I stumbled off of Esgalnoron, moving over the river of lava by the wall, bending over, and sicking up into it. I shook, standing back up and wiping my mouth, feeling miserable.
"Caladiel?" Sauron had a slight tinge of concern in his voice that warmed me. And made me hungrier. I turned around, facing them, and the orc looked sick as he looked at me. His soul was black, but it looked so... I don't know. But I was starving. I wanted to EAT.
"Are you going to dispose of him?" I asked, pointing to the orc. Sauron looked back to it and then shrugged.
"Oh, yes. I forgot." He made to kill it when I stopped him.
"Wait! C-can I have it?" I stammered. He raised an eyebrow.
"As you wish." He replied, his tone intrigued. Hunger exploded. The orc whimpered and cowered. I lunged forwards, unable to help it any more. The orc let put a shriek that was cut off as I reached out- and grabbed his soul. The body went limp, and Sauron kicked it into the lava.
The soul was cold in my hands, as I expected it to be. Such a black thing cannot be warm. It pulsed weakly, so sluggishly. Sauron eyed me curiously, and Esgalnoron whined.
~Calaldiel?~
"I think... I think because of the secret fire, I'm naturally drawn to the essence of living things... And then in this darkened form..." I replied, voice strained.
I lifted the cold orb to my lips. My mouth opened. My throat ached. The orb slipped into my mouth, and my lips closed over it. It was cold in my mouth too. I didn't chew it. I didn't need to. It melted in my mouth in a heap of flaky ashes, wafting down my throat in shards of ice. It tasted like dark, bitter chocolate.
The ache in my throat abruptly stopped.
~Do you... Feel better now?~
I groaned, sinking to the floor in a boneless heap. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." It was all I could find to say, shaking in misery and shame, in horror of what I had done.
Sauron picked me up, moving to the iron bed and sitting down on it. "Hush, Caladiel. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You ate, simple as that." He said curtly. I looked up.
"I ate!? I ate a soul, Ada! What kind of being does that make me!?" I cried in horror, and he sighed.
"Listen to me." He snapped. I hushed up. "It is a natural thing. Don't stare at me like I've gone deranged, I know what I'm talking about. The fire created things, Caladiel. Good things. Things of- of- of E-Eru." Mairon forced out the name. I perked up.
"It was not meant to create things such as orcs and Balrogs- therefore, whenever it senses such a thing, it attempts to make it right, to destroy it and recreate it the way it should have been. To do so, it must take the essence of the thing into itself so that it can recreate it. It just so happens to manifest itself in you as hunger. So stop being ridiculous and live with it!" Sauron came back at the end and punctuated his remark with a poke to my forehead with his nail clamp.
I blinked. "Oh." That made sense now. At least now I know it's not anything... Evil. Sort of. I sighed and plonked my head on Sauron's shirt front.
"Master asked me to find Gondolin for him, Ada. I'm supposed to go find it and then tell you where it is when I find it so you can tell him." I said without any further ado.
Sauron stiffened, and them suddenly began to mutter under his breath. "I hate him. I always have. He promised me this and that, and he never kept his promises. I could be a better dark lord than him. I would be known as Annatar, lord of gifts, and I would win them over one by one with fairness and beauty, not with fear and terror. I am the one who found you. You are my treasure. But he takes what he likes for himself!" He snarled.
"Ada?" I cut in.
"Hmm?" The integrated Sauron looked down at me, his hands raking through my hair, though his face only held cool interest.
"I don't like master either. Don't you think the Valar were nicer?" I asked innocently, wrapping my arms around him. "I think they are."
"They were." He admitted grudgingly, alerting me that this was an integrated Sauron and Mairon. "I wish that I could be free of him- start my own rule and kingdom. I would be a dark lord fair and wise, ruling my subjects with justice." His eyes grew almost maniac. "I could make myself a ring! A ring to rule all, and with nine wraiths as my head servants!" He cackled madly at the thought.
Despite myself, I felt pleased that he was showing some canonical traits. In fact, maybe I can use this opportunity...
"That would be nice. Maybe, Ada, do you think that somehow we could get some of the dragons and Balrogs on our side? And one day we can run away from Melkor? Who would you rule?" I asked.
He looked down at me, the maniacal glee still in his eyes. "Yes. Yes, we could. It will have to be done carefully, but we could. One day, we shall leave, and we will flee far away to create our own realm. You shall be my princess, Caladiel, and we shall rule over men." He declared. I did a double take. Princess!? I thought I was just a treasure-?
~Oh great. I hope this turns out okay... I was trying to see if I could use that for out own purposes but...~ I said to Esgalnoron.
~Oh don't worry, I think that's a good sign that he's no longer loyal to Melkor. Besides, didn't you hear him? He wants to rule over men, not elves. Not that I'm disparaging men, I'm just saying that maybe it's better that way. Easier, if you get my drift...~ He answered.
~Right.~
"Ada?" I asked meekly.
"What?" He asked.
"Well... The truth is... There is a group that Melkor doesn't know about made up of so far one Balrog and five dragons and Esgalnoron and me that are faithful to Eru and we call ourselves the Faithful and we want to do just that but we don't have a leader really so..." I blurted, then fidgeted. Sauron blinked as he registered what I had just said.
"Wait. You are... Faithful to Eru?" Mairon asked. I nodded.
"W-will you be... Our leader?" I asked my hands, not looking up at him.
There was a silence. Then a hand moved through my hair. "Yes. I will. We shall, all together, make an effort to escape the clutches of Melkor, no matter how long it takes." He wrapped an arm around me possessively. "And then you shall me mine and mine alone."
There was a pause. "Who did you say was in the group?"
I looked at Esgalnoron. We both grinned. "Ah. Esgalnoron, would you mind bringing Ancalagon?" I asked. He trotted out, tail whisking.
Sauron raised an eyebrow at me. "Ancalagon?"
"What? He's the one who founded the group." I defended. He rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. Just remember I'm in it for escaping Melkor, not because I'm faithful to Eru." He groused. I merely smiled, hugging him.
"I know, Ada. I love you." I replied contentedly. And I was happy when he ran a hand through my hair gently.