Awkward silence. I hadn't realized before this was one of my worst nightmares.

Although if I reason it, it might not be awkward silence what I dread. It is... Awkward silence with him. Because if I think about it carefully, there wasn't such a thing when we were in Barcelona two years ago. There was silence, but it was never awkward.

So... What is happening?

Am I overthinking?

I check my phone. He's been quiet for ten minutes already. But so have I... Right?

Is he bored?

Is he overthinking as well?

I glance at him, but what on Earth do I want to guess from that. His face is calm and contained, he's looking ahead, at the dirt road before us.

Is there anything interesting there?

Oh, for heaven's sake, there is.

"Look!" I shout, as if I had seen the most wonderful thing in the world just in front of our eyes. I'm pretty sure he's flinched. "The lake is there!"

"Yeah... Oh, you want to feed the ducks?"

I blush.

Do I? I haven't cared about ducks or bread crumbs in my whole life. But finally, he's said something.

"Uh... I don't mind. Do you?"

He shrugs.

"Yeah, why not. If that makes you happy"

"It doesn't" I breathe in. "But at least there's no awkward silence between us now".

He tilts his head to the side.

"Awkward...? It wasn't being awkward for me..." There is a quick glance in my direction, but I decide not to pay attention to it. Because that says a lot, actually. He's not uncomfortable around me, no matter if we talk or not. But I... I am not so sure about it. I bite my lip and look down, walking towards the lake only because I'm really feeling the urge to do something, think about something else and stop feeling this nervous.

But... nervous is good, isn't it?

Before I can even step onto the grass surrounding the small lake, his hand slips into mine. And as if my hand had been waiting for that moment to happen for years without end, my fingers lace with his so naturally it feels unreal.

I look up at him, surprised to find a hint of a smile curving his lips.

"What, is this awkward too?"

"No..." I admit in a whisper.

"And... aren't we supposed to do stuff like this if we are on a date?"

I roll my eyes and smile; isn't he cheeky.

"Oh, are we on a date, then?"

"I'm just making your wishes come true"

How very cheeky. My smile fades to be replaced by a frown.

"Don't push it, Altin. You're not all I wish for".

He tugs on my hand, almost making me stumble.

"I know. But I am the only wish you can't get on your own. You need my help there... don't you?"

"Shut up".

For further references, I better admit now that when I say 'shut up', around ninety five per cent of the time, it means that I have no idea how to retort and I stubbornly refuse to let the other win any kind of argument.

Apparently he already knows that, since there is an actual smile on his face now.

I must point out that Otabek looks really handsome when he smiles. I think I've only seen his real smile three or four times. It's like a shooting star: it only lasts about a split second. But even in such a short time, it manages to make your heart flutter.

I gasp when he flops down on the grass next to me, without letting go of me, so I'm forced to sit next to him. I immediately pull my hand out of his grasp to hug my knees, looking at the lake. I'm about to say something when he wraps his arm around my shoulder, and that simple gesture makes me close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder. I still can hear the ducks in the distance, but who cares about feeding them anyway.

"So, Yuri...". I open my eyes to look at him, but from my position I can only see his jawline.

"Mmh...?"

He takes a deep breath. Oh, maybe he's nervous. For some reason that makes me strangely happy.

"So... If I've understood it correctly... If we do everything like it's meant to be done... You will actually... or... we will actually... have a chance?" His hazelnut eyes shift quickly to the side, to look at me. "I mean... A chance of being together... As a -"

I put a finger on his lips to make him fall silent. He better stop talking before he hurts himself. I feel my cheeks heating up but I have no idea if there is a blush to be seen.

"That's exactly what I meant".

I sit up and look at him, frantically looking for my anger, for my doubts, for all the bad thoughts and the hard feelings I've been having about him during this past two years. Where have they gone to?

Maybe this is really the time to let go and start from the scratch.

I touch his cheek gently and look at his lips. I know his eyes are on me but I ignore it. Only his lips matter now. When mine find them, it finally feels right. No surprise, no stolen kisses. No force.

His arms pull me slightly closer and I give in, melting into the kiss.