Ed, Edd, Eddy, n Edna
By Technomaru
Chapter 10: Enter... THE KILLER SISTERS!!
Note: I do not Ed, Edd, n Eddy...but "The Fourth Ed" is mine! And Rachel belongs to Squeaken1!
This is a spin-off of "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy". I always wondered what if Edna existed in the "Ed, Edd, n Eddy" canon and...THIS STORY DOES NOT CONTAIN SUPERNATURAL ELEMENTS!
It started as a thought, "What if there was ANOTHER group of bad girls who just happen to be even worse than the Kankers... and well this is the result! Also I decide to have Rachel have a past with them.
IMPORTANT NOTE: This chapter fully introduces the Killer Sisters and it is the first part of a three part trilogy!
Happy Easter Fans!
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Double D wakes up and hears a strange sound coming out from the door. He opens the door and to his horror, he sees Lee and Marie Kanker covered in bruises and tissues up their noses. They apparently crawled to Double D's house. Lee looks at Double D with both uncovered eyes and she says in a slurred voiced, "H....hel....p usss!"
Double D, remembering all the things those two did in the previous 9 chapters, decided to put aside their differences and wearing gloves he tries as hard as he can to take them to the guest room and places them on the beds as he treats their wounds.
(2 hours later)
Rachel shows up at Double D's house. She finds him making lemonade and she asks, "Hi Double D what's up?" Double D then responds, "Sorry Rachel but something just came up!" Rachel follows Double D and to her horror she sees Lee and Marie Kanker in Double D's beds in the guestroom and Rachel says to him, "Oh my gosh... I know those two, they were the ones who beat up Eddy when he hurt their feelings for that stupid stunt."
Double D replies, "They showed up like this and seeing how much they were in pain, I had no choice but to help them... they would do the same if I was pummeled to near death."
Rachel then has a idea in the form of a thought bubble where it has Lee and Marie "take care" of Double D like that psycho from "Stephen King's Misery"... right down to pulling out a sledgehammer. Rachel then says to Double D, "Not how I imagine it...but I doubt it." Double D then says, "You know this is very awkward so I suggest you don't tell an..." As Double D sees Ed, Eddy, Edna, Nazz, and May, he continues, "...yone about this!"
Edna then sees the two and says, "Oh my gosh... what happened! Eddy I know you hate Kankers but this is serious!" Eddy replies, "I didn't do this! I was working on my devil fruit scam... again!" May then says, "Well howcome my sisters got hurt but I didn't?" Rachel is shocked and says, "You're a Kanker... oh right that's your last name... but why aren't you like those two?" May replies, "Because my best friend Edna made me the most civilized pre-teen in the cul-de-sac... (Nazz looks angry) umm next to you Nazz!" Nazz then smiles and replies, "That's my Cousin! But Double D why are you helping those two after what they did to us in the last 9 chapters... they even accused us of vandalizing their trailer!"
Double D once again replies, "They showed up like this and seeing how much they were in pain, I had no choice but to help them... they would do the same if I was pummeled to near death."
Nazz then has a idea in the form of a thought bubble where it has Lee and Marie "take care" of Double D like that psycho from "Stephen King's Misery"... right down to pulling out a sledgehammer. Nazz then says to Double D, "Not how I imagine it...but I doubt it." Ed then says, "Deja vu!"
Eddy shows up with flyswatter and says, "Now that Lee's down it's time for REVENGE!" Edna, Nazz, Ed, Rachel and May try to hold off Eddy as Edna yells out, "Eddy no! Never hit someone while they're down! It's like shooting a man in the "family jewels" only lowlifes do that!" Rachel then remembers someone from her past who does such a thing.
Marie wakes up and sees everyone, she then says, "Mama always said there will be days like this..." Edna then says, 'Relax... Double D found you like this and he is trying to help you! So we might as well help you two as well!" Marie is suprised at this, she sees Rachel and says, "Umm Edna... do you have a sister?" Rachel replies, "Everyone thinks I look like her! Anyway this is serious... now tell me... who did this to you?"
Marie then responds, "Only if you answer my question... why are you helping us after all the things we did to you guys in the last 9 chapters?"
Double D then sighs heavily and says in a annoyed tone, "you showed up in my house like this and seeing how much you were in pain, I had no choice but to help you... you would do the same if I was pummeled to near death."
Marie then has a idea in the form of a thought bubble where it has herself and Lee "take care" of Double D like that psycho from "Stephen King's Misery"... right down to pulling out a sledgehammer. Marie then says to Double D, "Umm I think I better end this repenative joke by not saying that I had in mind." Eddy then asks, "Well why did you come to sockhead's house?"
Marie then answered, "Well out of the thr...I mean four Eds, I think Double D has the most heart and would care for a woman when she's down... also I apologize for thinking you guys were the ones who vandalized our trailer everyday." Edna replies, "But I have heart too... and I am a female too, why didn't you come to me?" Marie then replies, "Well you would retaliate against me and Lee for the way we treated May... oh and in case you're wondering... while we beat up and kiss the Ed-boys, we would tie you up and pelt you with vegetables... this is what we do to the Ed-girl."
Edna frowns and says, "And this is why I would normally retaliate for your misdeeds, but you're in pretty worse shape so I'll let you slide. Now that I answered your question then you must answer ours... WHO...DID...THIS...TO...YOU!"
Lee then slowly wakes up says to the group, "It was a group of girls they called themselves...the Killer Sisters!" Rachel screamed in fear and backed up to the wall upon hearing that name. Then everyone is shocked. While everyone helps out Rachel, Double D and Edna make Lee and Marie some tomato soup. Lee then says, "You know Edna... you're alright... you too Double D!" Double D then says, "Anything to help others, now tell me more about those three who did this to you?" Lee replies, "Those three think we hold the title of "the baddest group of girls in the county" and we do! But they want that title from us and to show that they aren't joking, they knocked off one of my teeth!"
Nazz then says to Lee Kanker, "So pretty much, the "Killer Sisters" make Baroque Works look like the Veggie Pirates... I mean Usopp Pirates ...not that I read "One Piece" of course!" Edna then goes up to Nazz and says to her, "Cousin Nazz... Rachel has calmed down and he says something to say..."
Rachel then tells everyone, "Yes it is true... I do have a past with them back in my hometown of Lemon Brook...
(Flashback begins as Rachel narrarates it)
Ok, a few months ago before moving to Peach Creek, I lived in a somewhat dystopian town known as "Lemon Brook". As usual I was ignored by most of my peers... except for three girls who were notoriously titled, "The most baddest girls in the county", Julie Killer, Lindsay Killer, and Tara Killer... THE KILLER SISTERS!"
They shoplift, they smoke, they cuss, they beat up anyone who looks at them at the wrong way...AND THEY ARE ONLY A YEAR YOUNGER THAN ME!!!
(Reminder to readers... the majority of the main characters are apparently aged 12, Johnny, Sarah and Jimmy are exceptions... and according to Rachel, the Killer Sisters are 11)
They actually notice me... and made me their "gofer"! They made me get them "king ground" brand cigarettes, issues of "Playgal" and "Naughty girl magazine", count cards for them, and get out the cement for when they have to make shoes for their victims!"
(Everyone shudders from the thought... even Marie and Lee)
Nazz asks, "Why doesn't anyone do anything about their activities? They're more like criminals than Junior High students!" Rachel then adds, "Their Mother is mayor of the town and their father was chief of the police, they can do whatever they want!" Anyway I found salvation when my parents told me we would move away from Peach Creek... and away from them. So I quietly left Lemon Brook without them noticing I was gone... by leaving behind a scarecrow dressed like me! They can't tell the difference! But now I fear they know where I'm at and they would abduct me and bring me back to Lemon Brook!"
Lee and Marie look at eachother and Lee then says, "Hey that kinda sounds alot like what we used to make May do... but this is just extreme!" May then says, "I know how you feel Rachel... when they do show up we'll protect ya... umm Eddy what are you doing?"
Eddy is trying to leave the house through the window as he says, "Fat chance! I'm not going to stick around for the Killers t...hey Rachel... what are you doing?" Rachel makes really huge cute eyes at him and they fire sparkle beams into Eddy's eyes." Eddy is paralyzed and says, "Oh no... NOOOoooooo ok I'll protect you too!" Eddy then uncontrollably hugs Rachel. Rachel replies, "You're cute... I feels nice to be liked!" She giggles as she hugs him back.
Then Someone knocks at the door and then Edna and her friends hear a voice through the door that says, "Umm we're the local pest exterminators... we're here to exterminate a certain type of pest... KANKERS! WE KNOW YOU'RE HERE! WE'RE GOING TO BUST THROUGH THIS DOOR AND FINISH THE JOB HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Edna's eyes perk up and she asks Double D, "Double D... do you have a secret base in your house?" Double D replies, "Actually there is one but I use it to hide from the Kankers but they'e here an..." Edna then says, "Now's not the time! Those girls are worse than the Kankers, get them into the base with us!"
As Ed, Edd, Eddy, Edna, Nazz, May, Lee, Marie, and Rachel go into hiding, Ed then says to Edna, "No! Let me stay behind... I'll deal with them... I have the brain of cottage cheese!" Edna then says, "That might be a dumb move... but I respect your bravery... it makes me glad to be a Ed... now while you deal with who're behind the door, we'll analyze their behavior... good luck!"
As they hide, Ed is left standing. The door bursts open and he sees a rather angry Kevin who says, "Ok you do...I mean Ed, where is Edna? I still have a score to settle with her for exposing to everyone the reason why I have a thing for the word "dork"!" Edna then says, "Oh geez it's that dork Kevin!" May replies, "Umm where are the Killers?"
Kevin then says, "Since you're here I might as well take the anger out at you!" Kevin tries to land a punch at Ed but then... someone grabs his arm and then someone else grabs his legs. Then Kevin's abducters reveal themselves to be 11 year old girls with blonde hair and braces, they wear pink and black tubetops and one girl (Tara Killer) wears shorts, another (Lindsay Killer) wears pants, and their leader (Julie Killer) wears a skirt. They have pierced navels and they all smoke cigarettes.
Julie then says, "Hmmm fresh meat, straight for the huntin'!" Lindsay Killer then asks Ed, "Hey Lumpy we're looking for these girls (shows them a pic of the Kanker Sisters) now tell us where they are and maybe we won't hurt you... much!" Ed then replies, "Umm... gravy!" Julie then snaps and says, "DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH US! Now tell us... do you know those three?" Ed then says, "Umm... Kevin knows!" Kevin is shocked that Ed just said that!
Julie then pushes Ed down and then diverts her attention to Kevin and says, "You're cute... let's play a game, the game is called "Beat the crap out of the cutie" and the object is to survive our beating for 3 minutes, and if you survive... you can be my boyfriend!"
Kevin is sweating heavily and says, "Just put me out of my misery you dork!" Lindsay checks inside his pants and laughs heavily in a high pitched giggle...then the three pull out boards with nails on it and they drop Kevin and prepare for fun... "Killer style"
(Cuts to the shocked reactions of Eddy, Double D, Edna, The Kanker Sisters, and Nazz, Rachel is shocked at this site and says, "This is bringing back memories!")
After Julie burns her cigarette on Kevin's left hand, the three back away from Kevin and Julie says to him, "Oh good, he has a pulse... you're my new boyfriend now! Now tell me where those three girls are." Kevin cannot speak due to being barely concious. Lindsay then says, "Look Julie, the dumb one is still concious." Tara goes up to Ed and says to him, "If you want to live then do us a favor... spread the word to everyone that we will totally tear up Peach Creek unless those three surrender to us!"
Ed then says, "Umm you're the first mate!" Lindsay then says, "He's cute! After we destroy those three I get dibs on him!" Lindsay then says to her other sisters, "Ok let's make note of this... WE WILL DESTORY THIS PISS-ANT NEIGHBORHOOD UNTIL THE KANKERS SISTERS SURRENDER THEMSELVES TO US!" Let's start with that immigrant with the farm... I'm in the mood for some ham and eggs!"
The Killer Sisters make malicious laughter as they leave Double D's house...
Edna and the others were shocked to be finding out about this and they have no idea on how to deal with that!
TO BE CONTINUED!