"We need to get their bodies back." Erwin had told people surrounding him; Mike, Hanji, Moblit, and Nanaba, as he looked through the list of names.
"I'm coming." A voice came behind him. It was Levi.
Erwin, not even bothering to look up—or down—and with a hand still holding the paper, calmly replied, "I appreciate your help, Levi. But you're injured. You should—"
"All members in my squad are dead."
Then Erwin turned to level his gaze down at Levi. Even Hanji and Moblit, who were just talking about the Female Titan, fell silent, They knew that it was Erwin's order that kept Levi being away from his squad longer.
If Erwin somewhat felt guilty or sorry for Levi, he didn't show it.
"All right, but you are not going there by yourself. Just in case some Titans choose to show up. You're going with Hanji, Mike, and Nanaba. You're injured."
As if Levi needed to be reminded about the pain in his ankle because of protecting Mikasa. He then straddled his horse, ignoring the pain.
He went back to the forest, not bothering to check if they were following him. The image of her, lifeless and blood over her face, flashed before his eyes and he closed his eyes to erase the thought.
He couldn't.
—
They were all quiet when they found the bodies. Without a sound, Mike switched to 3DMG to get Gunther. Nanaba stopped by Erd. Hanji silently went to Auruo. They were all leaving Levi to stare at… Petra. He was unsure if he should reach her or wait for others.
But… if he waited, he wouldn't have got any chance.
He went down from his horse and walked silently toward her, a part of him hoping her to turn around, or moving, or anything that could be proven she was still alive.
Of course, she was dead. Her body had turned cold and stiff under his touch. He closed her eyes gently, as he also did when he tried to make her head straight. He felt his hands trembling, and he didn't want them to see that. He had controlled himself when he first saw her there, but he also had Eren, Mikasa, and the Female-Titan to get him distracted.
Erwin was right; Levi shouldn't be here by himself. Or else he just wouldn't stand it and have a breakdown. Not that he wanted to do that in front of his friends.
He put one arm around her shoulder, and another under her knees before he stood up. He looked at her face, and it almost felt like he could hear her voice when she comforted him as he watched one of the soldiers dead before his eyes. That was the day when the wall in Trost District had been breached.
"He looks like he's sleeping without worry." She had said.
She looked like she was sleeping without worry.
He held her closer to his chest.
When he looked up, he saw all of his friends were staring at him… with pity, perhaps. He couldn't tell. Maybe they knew all along. Or maybe they didn't because he lost all members of his squad, and he couldn't kill the Female-Titan because of his mission.
Kind of ironic, wasn't it? He'd told Mikasa to remember their mission—which was to save Eren, not to do some revenge—but at the same time, he also tried very hard not to turn around to kill the Titan. There was nothing to lose if he got killed, the Titan had killed her, after all.
He held her closer, because he knew it would be the last time for him holding her, touching her. Because there wouldn't be nights he came to her room, holding her as he fell asleep. There wouldn't be nights he sneaked a kiss to her before they went to their rooms. There wouldn't be nights she laid her head to his chest to listen to his heartbeat.
He didn't want to let go of her, but he had to.
And he did.