Chapter Ten

Paul sped back to Jeff's house, per orders from a frantic Mark in the back seat. Mark didn't like the sound of Jeff's voice, and frankly neither did Brooke. Brooke had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, and it was all pointing to Craig. 'What else could it possibly be?' she thought to herself. She didn't want to say anything to Mark, she could only pray that she was wrong. The four quickly got out of the car and raced inside. "Girls, I want you to stay out here for a minute please" Paul said as Mark made his way inside. Mark was stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him; his dinner had literally come half-way up his stomach. Paul followed shortly behind, his mouth dropped and he quickly turned away when he realized what they had raced back here for. Craig had taken a shot gun and killed himself. The only way Mark could even tell it was Craig was because of the outfit he was wearing that night, his face was completely gone. Stephanie and Brooke made their way in upon hearing Paul scream at the site. Brooke knew exactly what to expect, and the scene was erringly familiar. Brooke couldn't stand there long, she made her way back outside almost immediately.

Mark looked over at Jeff who was sobbing uncontrollably on the floor. "Did you call the cops?" Mark asked frantically. "N-no man. I just called you guys…" Jeff said hyper ventilating. "I just wanted to make sure that this shit was real… am I really fucking seeing this right now?" Paul quickly grabbed the cell phone from Jeff's shaky hands and dialed 911. Mark looked over once more at Craig. 'How could he do this?' he thought to himself. He quickly turned his attention to the girls, who were standing outside, mouths a- gate, simply staring stunned at one another. Tears welled up in Stephanie's eyes as she covered her mouth with her hands. A silent sob escaped her lips as she crumbled to the cement. Brooke stared at the scene in silence, everyone in tears. Mark looked into her eyes, and for a moment, saw into the depths of her tormented soul. Although she always hid her anguish well, he could tell that something deeper then what they just saw was haunting her.

The cops quickly arrived and taped off the area. Investigators and detectives were at the scene taking pictures and collecting evidence. Mark, Brooke, Stephanie, Paul and Jeff all stood outside for questioning. It was clear to the police that this was a suicide; however it was standard protocol to talk to the witnesses. Brooke hadn't said much, and she wasn't crying either. The look on her face was blank and empty, there was too much going on in her head to show it all on her face. She thought about Craig's children, they were going to go through something so similar to what Brooke had when she was a little girl. She felt nothing but sorrow for this man and his family. It was not going to be an easy road for them. Brooke felt selfish when she started feeling sorry for herself and quickly shunned the idea of her mother away. Any time Brooke thought of her mom she felt immense guilt. She had tried to bury the thought of her mother, because thinking about it only brought her pain. She still had anger in her heart for her mother, and she wasn't sure she'd ever fully forgive her.

The four friends drove home in silence. It was now four o'clock in the morning and they were all exhausted. Paul dropped Jeff off at his mother's house, since there was no way he'd be spending any time in that household for a while, if ever again. Mark was sure he'd sell it after it got cleaned up. He knew Jeff all too well, and Jeff could never live in a place which exemplified death. Once they got back to Mark's house, the couple's said their goodbyes and parted ways. Stephanie held on to Brooke for what seemed like a lifetime. Stephanie knew Brooke's past, and she knew that that was not an easy thing for her to witness. Stephanie tearfully looked at Mark before they left, "Please take care of her tonight".

Mark's heart sank at her words. Brooke seemed the least phased by it, but perhaps she was just too comfortable with keeping her emotions to herself. Mark knew that this was affecting Brooke, as well as she hid it. The two of them went into Mark's house together, silent. Mark looked over at her as she took her jacket off and threw it on the couch along with her purse. "You okay?" he asked her. Brooke weakly smiled at him and nodded, still not saying a word. "You want to hang here for a while?" he asked as he walked closer to her. She nodded once more as tears began to well up in her eyes. Mark pulled her over to him and embraced her in a tight hug as she lightly cried. Brooke hated crying, but she couldn't help herself at this point- and she certainly couldn't turn down the comfort that Mark's arms brought her. "I'm so sorry you had to see that, honey. I shouldn't have let you or Stephanie in there. That's a horrible thing to witness and it's my fault for not stopping you when you walked in. I'm so sorry." Brooke nodded once more through her tears. She couldn't find it in her heart to tell Mark about her childhood. Even though the mental picture of seeing Craig like that brought back memories of her mother, that surprisingly wasn't what was bothering her.

"I don't get it." She said through her tears. "He was showing me pictures of his wife and his kids. He was telling me how much he missed them and wanted to get better for them. Now they'll never see their father again and they'll have to live with what he did for the rest of their lives. I just don't get it." Mark sighed deeply and rubbed her back. "I don't either baby, but we don't know what was going on in his head. He was drinking, and he already had post partum depression from the war. Those two things mixed are a deadly combination. He wasn't thinking clearly. Things happen for a reason, we're all just going to learn from it and move on. We have no choice." Brooke chuckled through her tears, "Things happen for a reason? That's just a copout way of saying that things never work out. What is the damn reason? Is there a reason that those kids should have to live without their father? Who gives a damn if it makes them 'stronger', are they supposed to feel any sort of compensation for that? I'm sure that they would have been just as rough and tough had he still been around. Things don't happen for a reason. Things happen because life can fucking suck and it tests you. It pushes your sanity. You just have to hope that you don't race towards that brick wall like Craig did."

Mark stood there, stunned. He'd never heard Brooke sound so angry before. She was always a fun loving and care free girl. Mark knew that he didn't know much about her, and this only confirmed how little he truly did know. "Brooke tell me what's really bothering you." Mark asked as her put his finger under her chin and lifted her face up to meet his eyes. She gazed into them as a tear fell down her cheek. "It's not important." She said as she turned her face from him. "I'm going to head up to bed. It's going to be a long couple of days and Kevin is coming in later today. I'd really like it if we could all get together," she whispered as she attempted to change the subject. Mark nodded, "Let's go to bed." He said as he kissed her forehead and led her to the bedroom. She curled up in his arms, feeling ashamed that she had cried over her mother. It's been a while since that happened. Thank God Kevin was coming in today, it was now close to five o'clock in the morning, and the chance of either Brooke or Mark getting any sleep was slim to none.