Disclaimer: Me no own iCarly.

Chapter 10: Tears and Kisses

Carly and Freddie were arriving home from school and were talking in the hallway. Sam was coming up when she heard the two talking, it sounded like they were having a dispute so she stayed back and eavesdropped.

"All I'm saying is that I would like to know what the hell is going on." Carly's aggravation was apparent.

"What do you want me to say?" He lifted his hands and raised his eyebrows.

"Agh! I want you to tell me the truth! I know that something is up. I feel like the three of us are just drifting and I also know something is up with Sam because she's been purposely avoiding me!" Carly snapped.

Sam was intently listening, she felt guilty for avoiding Carly and she felt bad that Freddie was the one to catch Carly's wrath. In spite of this she couldn't help but appreciate that he respected her wishes and hadn't told Carly, but she knew she had to speak to Carly tonight.

Freddie dragged his hand over his face. He was tired of Carly's nagging. "Why don't you just ask her? I'm still here so maybe it's her you need to talk to."

Carly settled down a little. "I've tried Freddie but I feel like she doesn't really want to talk to me and I know you're still here and I'm glad because I'd hate it if our friendship ended because of—"

"I know." Freddie cut in. He stepped closer and put his hand on her shoulder, "Listen, nothing's changed okay? You're still my best friend." Freddie gave her a warm smile.

Carly exhaled out of relief and smiled back. "Thanks, Freddie. And you're right I'm going to talk to Sam about this." She pulled him in for a hug.

Sam watched and although she knew they were friends she couldn't help but feel jealous that she didn't have that type of relationship with Freddie. He had never been that tender with her and it made her heart hurt. She shook her head trying to rid her mind of those pesky thoughts. She should be glad to have such good friends, she seriously needed to stop comparing herself. It's innocent, it doesn't mean anything more. She put on her game face and walked forward.

"Sup peoples."

Freddie and Carly pulled away.

"Hey, Sam." Carly smiled at her. It was intense like she was trying to show how much she loved and missed her.

"Hey." Freddie said sounding sullen. "I'll see you guys later. I have errands to run with my mom." He turned around and walked into his apartment.

Sam was puzzled. The previous day he was being forward and flirty and today he was cold. Who the hell understood that nub? She turned towards Carly.

"I think we should talk." Sam was done beating around the bush.

"Me too." Carly opened the door and the two walked in.

Sam sat on the couch and waited for Carly to begin the conversation, she might've been ready to talk but she was not ready to be the opener.

Carly paced back and forth then suddenly stopped. "Are you mad at me?"

"What? No!"

"Then what is it? Why are you never around? We haven't even filmed iCarly!" Carly squealed and began pacing again.

Sam stood up, stopped her and held her by the shoulders. "Carls, will you get a grip? You're freakin' making me dizzy." She pushed her down on the couch, "Now sit."

Carly breathed in and out repeatedly, "Okay. I'm calm now. So tell me what's wrong."

Now, Sam wanted to pace but she maintained her composure and sat down facing Carly. "Well… it's hard to explain exactly what is wrong."

"Sam, you can tell me anything, just talk to me." Carly tried to encourage her to open up.

Sam's eyes darted around the living room trying to find the words, trying to figure out what exactly it is she wanted to say, but came up empty. She sighed, "This will be easier if maybe you ask me questions."

Carly was a little perplexed but obliged. "Um… okay. Does it have to do with me?"

Sam rolled her eyes at her friend's choice. "Kinda." Carly's eyes shot wide open with concern. "Just keep asking."

"So it 'kinda' has to do with me. Does it also involve someone else? A neighbor boy perhaps?" Carly was beginning to catch on quickly.

"Yes." Sam said point blank.

Carly stood up. "It's about me and Freddie? !"

Sam stood up as well, "Yeah."

"But I thought you said you were fine with it." Carly tried to read Sam.

Sam began pacing, "Well I wasn't entirely honest. It's just… I don't get it and I hate that it happened! I mean why for fuck's sake?" She threw her arms in the air.

"It didn't mean anything, Sam. I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry that it happened but it's not like it changed things. Freddie and I are still friends." She tried to reassure.

Sam scoffed in disbelief. "Carly, everything did change. Everything is different, haven't you noticed?"

"Well, yes. But I mostly notice you. You're the one that's changed." Carly pointed at Sam accusingly.

"That's true. I have." Sam sat down on the couch.

"But why?" Carly asked once again sitting down as well, she was unsure whether to stand or sit so she kept fidgeting.

Why? There it was, the ultimate, defining question. "Because it hurts." Sam softly confessed her voice faintly cracking.

The words dumbfounded Carly for a second. She was at a loss for words. "Why does it hurt?" Carly's mind was analyzing the last couple of weeks, "Freddie?" She hesitantly asked.

Sam simply nodded without making eye contact and hung her head.

"You care about Freddie?" Carly gently spoke.

Sam nodded again.

Carly's mind was reeling and the truth about everything struck her like a taco truck. She stood up, "Oh my god… you… him… oh but I… and him…oh my god… I'm sooo sorry, Sam!" Tears welled up in her eyes.

Sam refused to look up, there were tears in her eyes as well and she didn't think she could look at Carly and not lose it.

Carly sat down next to Sam and put her hand on her shoulder. "Sam, why didn't you tell me? God this must've been killing you! I'm so sorry! I feel so terrible!" She was now crying.

"Don't worry about it. You didn't know so it's not your fault." Her lip quivered and she tried her damn hardest to hold it in.

"No, Sam! I am going to worry because it was so irresponsible of me to just do something like that! I screwed up and I wish I could take it back, especially now!" She lunged forward and hugged Sam.

Sam didn't mean to but she didn't feel comfortable being hugged and pitied. She jumped up as a reflex and pushed Carly away. "Stop, it takes two remember? So it's not your fault. Don't feel bad because of me. Shit happens." She desperately tried to shrug it off.

"Does he know?" Carly asked ignoring Sam's plea to leave things where they were.

"Yeah." She glumly said.

"What did he say?" Carly's mind once again went into overdrive and before Sam could answer Carly exclaimed pointing at her, "You're the girl!"

Sam raised her eyebrows in question.

"The girl that he was talking about when you left! Yes! It all makes sense now!" Carly was mostly telling herself.

"Alright, settle down. It doesn't matter cause nothing's gonna come of it." Sam firmly stated.

"What? No, Sam. You can't just let this go. Do you realize how good you two are for each other? I can't believe I never saw it before. You have to at least try." Carly implored.

Sam shook her head. "No, Carls. It's not happening. Look, I get what you're saying I do. But you have to place yourself in my position, you two had sex and that's never gonna erase. How am I going to date someone who did that with my best friend and be casual about it? I can't because I'm forever going to wonder."

Sam wasn't trying to blame Carly, nonetheless the force of her words mentally slapped her. "It's my fault." Carly raised her hand to stop Sam from interjecting, "Don't say it's not because it is. Deep down I think you know that as well, but Sam honestly you can't let him go because that day, I swear it really was nothing! I mean we bar—"

"Ah, ah! I don't wanna know!" Sam covered her ears.

"Sam! You need to hear this!" Carly insisted.

"I will leave, I swear I will." Sam was serious.

"Fine, fine. But you should definitely do something about this!" Carly continued.

"I caaaan't!" Sam shouted.

In that instant Freddie walked in. "Hey, guys." He stopped and noticed Carly's puffy face and swollen eyes he turned to look at Sam and noticed red rims around her eyes. "What's going on?"

Carly couldn't stand to look at him right now, it was too much for her and she ran up the stairs. Sam and Freddie watched her leave and then turned back to each other.

"Sam, what's going on?" He was concerned.

"Nothing." Sam turned away. She too wasn't ready to face Freddie and felt a choking knot rise up her throat. She blinked several times trying to rid the tears from her eyes that were threatening to spill.

Freddie walked up to her, grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. "I know that something is wrong I can see it in your face and Carly's. Why are you two crying?"

She was defenseless. She had no strength left in her to speak, fight… nothing. She intently stared at him trying to convey everything with her eyes and that's when it happened, a tear rolled down her cheek. Freddie was taken aback, he had never seen her cry before. He lifted his hand and tenderly wiped away her tear, his hand lingered there caressing her face for as long as he could before dropping it back to his side.

"Sam…" He whispered.

"I told her." She murmured. She turned her eyes downward not wanting to meet his gaze.

Freddie let out a breath. It appeared like a breath of relief but Sam couldn't be sure. "How'd she take it?"

She glanced up at him, "Better than I did."

Freddie stepped a little closer, he was extremely close now and Sam couldn't find it in her to pull away. "What happens now?" He was still speaking softly.

Sam shrugged.

"Look at me, Sam." He lifted her chin, "Please."

Sam complied. When she looked into his eyes it sent shivers down her body. His chocolate, brown eyes bore holes through hers. Tears flooded her eyes when she thought about the unfortunate situation they found themselves in, it was so unfair.

Freddie watched Sam's face turn pink and her blue eyes drown in the salty solution. The tears in her eyes sparkled like diamonds and his heart broke at the sight of the sad yet unbelievably beautiful girl in front of him. He instinctively pulled her in for a tight hug, wishing he could make all her pain disappear. Sam's instincts told her to pull away but she didn't have the will to fight anymore. Instead she melted into his body and cherished the moment, then without warning Sam began to weep. Freddie held her tighter when he heard her whimpers and felt her body shake.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sooo sorry, Sam. I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry for everything." Freddie repeatedly uttered the words in Sam's ear as she cried. He pulled her back with him onto the sofa and pulled her onto his lap continuing to hold her. Freddie cradled Sam in his arms and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. For the first time Sam allowed him to see her vulnerable side and console her, to take care of her and she had to admit it felt right.

Early the next morning…

Sam and Freddie had fallen asleep on the sofa both emotionally exhausted. Freddie began to stir and wearily opened his eyes. He examined his and Sam's position. Freddie's body was slouched over the couch and Sam's body was partially draped over his, her head rested on his chest. He could hear her faint, even breaths. He didn't want to move for fear of disturbing her sleep. He watched her sleep and couldn't help but admire her beauty. How did I not notice before? I'm such an idiot. I can't lose her, I… dammit how the hell could I let this happen? He internally cringed at the memory of Sam's pain. I have to make it right. I have to prove to her, show her that… he breathed in her scent and held her closer …that I love her.

Sam's eyes fluttered open and she slowly stretched when she recognized that she wasn't alone. What the fuck? Her eyes shot up where they met Freddie's gaze.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Freddie smiled.

Sam started to sit up trying to remain cool about the awkward, intimate situation. "Morning."

"Feeling better?" Freddie asked.

"Uh, yeah. What time is it?" She was still weary.

Freddie checked the time, "It's 7:13"

Sam's eyes almost bulged out of her skull. "It's so early! Why are you awake?"

"I'm an early riser." Freddie said smiling.

"Eww, why?"

Freddie simply chuckled at her disgusted expression. "You can go back to sleep, if you want."

Sam didn't say anything she just looked at him. She was unsure if he meant to go back to sleep with him on the sofa or just in general. "Nah, I'm good."

Freddie frowned. "Oh. Okay well I should probably get home then." He began to sit up and stretch.

Sam scooted over to give him room. "Yeah, Crazy is probably worried sick." She smiled at him.

He smiled back. They were sitting next to each other. "Freddie…" "Sam…" They both said at the same time and turned to look at each other.

They laughed. "Go first." Freddie offered.

"You sure?" Sam asked.

Freddie nodded.

Sam hesitated for a moment. "Thank you."

Freddie nodded again. "It's the least I could do." He knew that she was thanking him for last night.

"Yeah… so I guess I'll see ya later?" It was meant as a statement but came out more like a question.

"More than likely." He stood up, he was trying to find ways to stall. He didn't want to leave just yet, he wanted to talk to her more, he wanted to talk about them.

"Cool. I'm gonna head upstairs," she signaled with her thumbs, "See ya later." She began to moving towards the stairs.

Freddie went into panic mode, she wasn't supposed to walk away. They needed to talk, she needed to hear what he had to say. "Sam, wait!"

She turned around and before she could ask "What?" Freddie rushed towards her and pressed his lips against hers without any thought. It happened so quickly it took Sam a moment to realize what was happening. Freddie wrapped his hands around her waist pulling her closer. Sam felt like her body was on fire. Freddie broke the kiss first but still held on to her, Sam's hands rested on his chest. She could feel his heart thumping loudly in his chest. They gazed into each other's eyes mesmerized. She couldn't believe that had just happened.

"I just want you to know that I'm not giving up." He let go of her waist and walked backwards towards the door, never breaking eye contact with her. He reached the door and quietly closed it behind him.

Sam stood motionless, her eyes still fixed on the door. She was trying to remember how to breathe. Her lips tingled, heart fluttered and butterflies swarmed her stomach. She brought her hand up to her lips and smiled. This boy was going to be the end of her.

A/N: Ahhh! Finally some Seddie action! I don't have much to say about this chapter I don't think it needs any explanations.

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