A/N: And now for a recap of the last part only. Roy blew up half of the backstage by shoving the Sword of Seals into a toaster (you gotta love him.) Mario had an extravagant entrance. Link and Mario got into an epic fight while everyone played ERS (Egyptian Rat Screw: It's a card game for those of you who don't know. It involves slapping in.) Link lost; Crazy won a game of poker. The last time he lost a lot of bad things happened: this time Crazy temporarily became a genius (Master Hand slapped it out of him provoking the wrath of Mama Hand) and released the originals (the old arcade games, namely Pacman.) Chaos ensues. Everything returns to normal in time for the commercial break.)
Master Hand: (tapes "Caution Do Not Enter" tape on the door where he sealed the originals.) No one is to open this door unless they want to release Pacman and his ghosts again. We're lucky they're the only psycho freaks that got out this time. No one enters. Understand? (Looks straight at Roy.)
Roy: I'm not letting those guys out. You'd have to be Crazy to do that. (All eyes turn to Crazy who's watching a Barbie movie on a portable DVD player.)
MH: Don't worry; I'll keep an eye on Crazy.
Link: And I'll keep an eye on this door.
Roy: You will not; I need you onstage.
Link: Why?
Roy: Because I have to finish your interview.
Link: My interview was done hours ago. I refuse to remain onstage just so you can torture and mock me. Master Hand has more need of my skills guarding this door.
Celticskyedancer: Actually, I'll guard the door since I have nothing else to do, and Master Hand won't let me hang out with you guys onstage, so…
Link: (In a threatening tone of voice.) If you know what's good for you…
Celticskyedancer: (The Master Sword appears in her hand.) You'll what?
Link: Oh…nothing.
MH: You're up to something.
Celticskyedancer: Who? Me? I'm a little angel.
MH: No, you're not. You have a devilish side.
(The Janitor closet's door suddenly shakes. Ike walks by, looks at the door in shock, and opens it.)
Ike: Reyson? What are you doing here?
Reyson: (He's a white-winged, superhot heron prince from PoR/RD) That crazy authoress tied me up and locked me in here.
Celticskyedancer: (evil grin.) Hey Ike, is there a problem.
Ike: (visions of yaoi fanfics with him float through his mind.) No. (Looks at Reyson.) Sorry, but you're on your own. (Slams the closet door shut.)
MH: Just make sure your hostage doesn't interrupt the show.
Celticskyedancer: Don't worry. I won't.
Chapter Ten: Sonic
Roy: Please help me welcome Sega's mascot *heck of a lot better than Mario* Sonic the Hedgehog.
(A golden light fills the studio. A golden hedgehog surrounded by seven floating gems of different colors appears. Sonic zooms back and forth across the audience, high-fiving everyone. He lands on the stage, reverting to his normal blue self as a group of SEGA guys in suits start chanting "Sonic, Sonic, Sonic…")
Link: Now that's a classy entrance.
Mario: And mine wasn't?
Pit: Yours was a bit overdone.
Roy: It was more than a bit. (Everyone stares at him.) Oh right, sarcasm. (To Sonic.) So you're the infamous Sonic the Hedgehog who finally put Mario in his place?
Sonic: Yes I am.
Roy: And you're also that Amy's boyfriend?
Sonic: What? No! She's just a crazy fangirl.
Amy: It's more than just fangirl love. The love that binds us is true and everlasting love.
Sonic: *Delusional*
Roy: So, do you enjoy being in Super Smash Bros. Brawl?
Sonic: Yep. The fights are amazing. My speed has been slowed down some, but so far I only have two losses.
Roy: That's good. I didn't think Nintendo would hire non-Nintendites.
Sonic: Is Nintendite even a word?
Link: Celticskyedancer made it up.
Marth: Careful Link.
Sonic: Nintendite is a stupid word.
Link: Thank you. Someone finally agrees with me.
Ike: Looks like she will be writing a Link x Pit love story.
Pit: (extremely pale) She wouldn't.
Link: Sonic insulted her too.
Sonic: (smugly) What's she gonna do to me?
Mario: She could write a SonAmy oneshot.
Sonic: (pales) Sh-She wouldn't dare.
Mario: (clearly enjoying this.) Unlike the yaoi threats, celticskyedancer actually supports the SonAmy pairing.
Sonic: (falls on his knees.) I'm sorry celticskyedancer. Please don't ever torture me like that.
Link: *Suck up.*
Pit: Link, celticskyedancer has author's powers.
Link: And what the hell does that mean?
Pit: She could do something drastic like make Zelda fall madly in love with Ganondorf.
Zelda: What!?
Ganondorf: That's disturbing.
Zelda: You're not one-and-a-half months pregnant with someone else' baby.
Ganondorf: True.
Zelda: Besides, you and Nabooru are in love.
Nabooru: WE ARE NOT AN ITEM.
Link: You did go on one date.
Nabooru: One date because you paid us.
Zelda: Again – worth every rupee.
Pit: Okay, so Zelda and Ganondorf falling in love is a little drastic.
Link: Uh, yeah.
Pit: Even so, she could make you bald, crippled, ugly or magenta. (Shudders.) She could kill you. (Link remains unfazed.) She could ensure that you remain Ruto's fiancé.
Link: (Looking blankly ahead in shock.) Celticskyedancer, I take back every bad thing I said about you or any of your made-up words. I never realized how hip and edgy they sound.
Roy: *Suck up.*
Link: Better a suck-up than married to a fish slut.
Y Ruto: (to Young Link.) Is that what you really thing about me?
YL: What. N-no…I…
Y. Ruto: (Kicks him.)
Roy: Ooh, right in the battereies.
Link: Ah! (Falls to the ground.) Crap that happened to me too.
Zelda: (Laughing) Okay, now that's funny.
Link: Laugh all you want.
Zelda: Oh I will.
Roy: Hey Sonic, if you don't like Amy, then who do you like?
Sonic: No one really. I don't like the notion of settling down.
Amy: One day Sonic, you will admit your undying love for me.
CF: Man is this girl delusional? Can't she see that Sonic hates her?
Marth: Hypocrite.
CF: What's that pretty boy?
Marth: Can't you see that Samus hates you?
CF: You don't know what you're talking about, pretty boy.
Marth: Um, yes, I do.
CF: You're crazy, Lowell.
Marth: At least I'm not an idiot.
CF: Care to repeat that, Lowell?
Marth: You're a delusional idiot.
CF: Oh that's it.
Roy: Guys, please stop! Master Hand gets angry at me if you two get in a fight.
CF: Oh, well in that case… FALCON PAWNCH! (Attacks Marth.)
Marth: (Draws Falchion.) You're going down, Falcon.
CF: Bring it, Lowell.
Marth: I intend to. (Charges forward.)
MH: Oh Roy…
Roy: (Throws himself down in front of Master Hand.) Please don't kill me; I'm not responsible for their fight.
MH: Just ignore them and get on with Sonic's interview.
Roy: Yes sir. So Sonic, do you hope they put more Sonic characters in future Super Smash Bros. games?
Sonic: Well, Shadow the Hedgehog is an assist trophy in Brawl.
Roy: Is he related to you?
Sonic: No. We are just both hedgehogs. Not all hedgehogs are related.
Roy: Is he in the audience?
Shadow: (Stands up.) I'm right here.
Roy: Dude! You're way cooler than Sonic. Why aren't you a playable character?
Shadow: That's what I would like to know.
Roy: Do you feel like Nintendo rejected you?
Shadow: Yes…yes I do.
Roy: Do you like pranks?
Shadow: Depends.
Roy: Depends on what?
Shadow: What kind of prank it is, and how much damage is caused by the prank. Mostly the damage factor.
Roy: Do you like fire?
Shadow: I suppose. It is fire, and I am part pyro.
Roy: Do you like explosions?
Shadow: Hell yeah.
Roy: Do you like crashing things?
Shadow: Depends. Depends on what I'm crashing – whether I like the vehicle or not. If there's a lot of damage caused by the crash. Whether there's an explosion or not; and if so, then the size of the explosion matters.
Roy: Would you like to join Pit, Captain Falcon, and me to take over this show?
Ike: What!?
Shadow: Which side is Sonic on?
Sonic: I didn't know we were choosing sides. But it looks like there's a blue team (points to Ike and Marth) and a red team (points to Roy and Pit.) Guess I'm on the blue team since I am blue.
Shadow: Well then, fiery boy, guess I'm on your side.
Roy: Wicked. Together the four of us will take over the dark side.
Mewtwo: Technically the blue team *my team* is the dark side.
Mario: Looks like I'm on your team Roy.
Roy: I though you hated me.
Mario: I do. I hate Sonic more though.
Roy: Okay. Team Red rules!
Sonic: (To Marth and Ike) So they're the dark side, and we're the light side?
Marth: Actually we're the dark side with Mewtwo. Roy just thinks that he's on the dark side, but we called it first.
Sonic: That's confusing.
Ike: No, not really if you think about it.
Link: Hey Ike, don't try to confuse him more; he's new around here.
Ike: So am I.
Link: Yeah, but you're Nintendo. He's SEGA.
Marth: Sonic doesn't speak Ninlingo.
Link: Ninlingo? I swear that celticskyedancer come up…
Ike: Link, Ruto…
Link: …with the most innovative words ever.
Pit: Now that was a close call.
Link: Ah! What are you doing here?
Pit: I just came to talk. Roy is not making much sense.
Ike: He never does.
Marth: (Pulls Link and Ike off to the side.) What if Roy sent Pit to spy on us?
Link: Roy's not that smart.
Marth: True, but he is devious and inventive. He is smart when it comes to things like this. He has hot-wired Samus' ship three times, disable the Mansion security twice, and saran wrapped seven different Melee fields, including Hyrule Temple.
Ike: How did he...
Marth: We don't know how Roy did it.
Ike: I meant how did Roy get enough saran wrap to do this?
Link: We're still figuring that one out too.
Ike: Let's just ask Pit to tell us. He can't lie.
Link: He can't?
Ike: He's an angel. Angels can't lie…unless they're fallen angels.
Marth: How do you know so much about angels?
Ike: I asked Pit; he had to tell me. Hey Pit.
Pit: Yeah?
Ike: Did Roy send you over here to spy on us?
Pit: No! I came to talk to you guys. Besides, I don't think Roy's smart enough to send anyone to spy on you. He'd probably try to do it himself and get caught.
Marth: True.
Link: Okay. So Pit, what are you and Roy planning?
Pit: I can't tell you that.
Link: Come on (puppy dog face.)
Pit: No. Puppy dog faces won't work on me.
Link: Why?
Pit: Because I'm the best at puppy dog faces. (Shows off his mad skills.)
Link: Stop, please stop. Goddesses, you'd do anything for that face. I'd do anything for that face.
Ike: Pit, you've got some mad skills.
Roy: Hey Sonic, what's your claim-to-fame.
Sonic: I'm the fastest thing in existence.
Link: Second-fastest.
Sonic: No, I'm the fastest.
Link: No, Chuck Norris is the fastest thing in existence.
Sonic: I'm positive that I'm faster than Chuck Norris.
Link: Chuck Norris could roundhouse kick you in the face and make it halfway to Japan before you even realized what happened.
Guy in suit: Objection.
Roy: Who are you?
Guy: I'm Chuck Norris' agent. He could roundhouse kick the hedgehog five times in the face and make it halfway to Japan before the hedgehog realized what happened.
Chuck Norris: You're both wrong. (Kicks Sonic and Link five times in the face before making it three-quarters of the way to Japan before either Sonic or Link realized what happened.)
Sonic: What just happened?
Link: (in awe) We just got Chuck Norrised…and lived!
Roy: Dude! That was awesome!
Chuck Norris: Two words…Chuck, Norris. (sits down.)
CF: (awestruck) Chuck Norris has been here the whole time?
MH: Yeah, he's on the special guest list.
Amy: (Runs over to Sonic.) Are you okay? (Hugs him.) Were you hurt?
Sonic: (struggling) Amy, I'm fine! Let go!
Amy: Oh Sonic.
Sonic: (breaks free form Amy. Turns to Roy.) Uh…I gotta go save the world from Eggman. Bye! (runs off.)
Amy: (steaming angry.) Sonic, get back here right now. (Grabs her Piko Piko Hammer.) SONIC! (Runs after him.)
Roy: …What the hell just happened?
Link: I think your interviewee just ran away.
Roy: Great. What are we going to do now?
Ike: Play ERS.
Mist: I'm game.
Soren: That's because you always win. But I'll play.
MH: I guess we'll make a longer commercial break. You guys can play your little card game.
Crazy: Ooh…Let me play.
Everyone: NO!
Crazy: Aw man…
Link: Hey, Chuck, do you want to play?
Chuck Norris: Of course, but you all should know: Chuck Norris never loses.
Marth: Is there anything you can't do?
Chuck Norris: I can't hit the broad side of a barn.
Link: Really?
Chuck Norris: Yeah, every time I try the whole damn barn collapses.
Mist: That must suck.
Chuck Norris: Yeah.
MH: Young Link, take us to commercial break.
YL: We'll be back right after these commercials. Don't change that channel.
A/N: Just for the record, Chuck Norris could have roundhouse kicked Sonic and Link at least ten times in the face and made it all the way around the world before they realized what happened. He went easy on them. Next up is Kirby!