A/N: Hello darlin's! Sorry for the long update. I have started sixth form and the work never flippin stops. Anyway, after a month, here it is! ONE OF MANY PARTS of the Hen Party and the adventures of the Dumblewhore's. I hope you enjoy and stick with this story, it is nearing the end now and I have had such a time writing it. This chapter is lively, next chapter you will need the tissues. (maybe).
Chapter Ten – London Calling
Ten young women were strutting through the cobbled streets of South London, giggling behind their hands at the baffled looks they were receiving every minute from passers-by. They were dressed in electric purple skin-tight dresses with matching cloaks draped over their shoulders, half-moon spectacles and wizard's hats, looking staggeringly out-of-place, but in a good way. Men did double takes when they saw the group, others wolf-whistled appreciatively. Hermione cringed. It reminded her of the night of Bill and Fleur's wedding when Hermione, Harry and Ron apparated to Tottenham Court Road and four or five men were shouting out drunkenly to her to come and have a drink. But then sharing looks with the other girls, her cringes turned to laughter.
They had already finished off two bottles of wine between them after all.
Ginny abruptly threw an arm out to halt the hyper group, causing Tonks to momentarily trip over in her high heels.
"Drunk and disorderly already, Tonks," Angelina smirked, offering her hand to help her up.
Tonks gratefully accepted, smiling, "drunk and disorderly? Not quite there yet, honey. I'm practically sober! Wait till later, when I am drunk!"
Ginny hushed them all and motioned dramatically to the riverside.
"There she is," Ginny beamed, pointing out across the River Thames which was shimmering white in the reflection of the early moon. Angelina, Alicia, Katie and Lavender all screamed girlishly, clapping their hands to their cheeks in awe. Hermione followed to where she was pointing; her breath hitched in her throat and she stilled, looking like someone who'd just experienced a Hogwarts ghost passing through their body for the first time.
"My – my God Gin! You said… you said it was a yacht!"
Ginny pursed her lips, trying to hide the slither of a smile which was attempting to slide across her face.
"It is a yacht," she said innocently.
Hermione snapped her head towards her, her mouth hung open and her eyes widened almost comically.
"I'm not talking about that dinky rowing boat!" she spluttered incredulously, "I'm talking about the thing that looks like Ti-bloody-tanic!"
And it truly did. The yacht – boat – ship towered high over the river, the pin-point that caught passers-by eyes and had them gawping like Hermione was now. In the most non-cliché way possible, it could be described as none other than beautiful with its glossy black and white sails, expensive shiny, gold railings running around the edge and hundreds of windows dotted along the outside. Fairy lights were scattered across the deck walls and twinkled like stars, only adding to its obvious exquisite designing and breath-taking detail. It illuminated the surrounding river like an angel's halo. Hermione could imagine the three thousand people now, the men in top hats and tuxes, the women in ravishing tight corsets, leaning over the edge of the ship and waving their handkerchiefs to the people below as they set sail. Titanic.
Hermione smiled and accepted his outstretched hand to help her down the large concrete step leading to Felixstowe Beach. The beach seafront ran for miles either side of them, multi-coloured lamps lit up like Christmas tree lights in the darkness, making the scene seem like it was late December instead of mid-February. Hermione felt the crunch of stones beneath her feet as she stepped onto the beach. Sirius, clasping her hand in his, led her down to where the sand had broken away from the scatter of stones and lay soft and foot printed from all the passers-by of the day which was now drawing to a close. Sirius was dressed in black slacks, his waistcoat blowing open in the wind and exposing his half-done up maroon shirt underneath.
"Aren't you cold?" Hermione asked him as he stopped just before the waves reached their feet.
"A bit," he said smiling, and settling himself behind her, "but I much prefer you in my leather jacket than I do me," he nuzzled her neck affectionately, "and anyway, I'll leave it up to you to keep me warm shall I? Come here."
He wrapped his arms around her front; their hands still clasped together as he watched her.
"Warm?" she whispered, relaxing against his chest.
"Mmm yes," he murmured in response.
"Hey… is that – is that a-?"
"A ship," Sirius nodded.
"It looks like…"
She could feel Sirius's eyes on her, unblinking and spellbound. She bit her lip suddenly unsure of herself. It was a silly thing to say.
Sirius caught on to her sudden change instantly and nudged her ribs softly, "no go on, tell me. What are you thinking about?"
When she only smiled, he prompted her further.
"You think it looks like the boat on the beginning of 'The Parent Trap'? The QE2? I know how much you love that film. Typical lovey-dovey muggle film…" he teased her, laughing lowly when she swatted him.
"Well, you obviously must have been paying attention to remember the name of the boat! You were sitting up like the eager dog you are and absorbing every word – I bet you watch it every night!"
Sirius barked with laughter, "I think a certain woman would have noticed my absence if I was watching 'The Parent Trap' every night," he purred, holding her closer against him, "what were you going to say the ship looks like before?"
"The Titanic."
Sirius grinned, "I suppose it does," he kissed her temple as he continued to chuckle, "let's just hope this one doesn't sink."
"Sirius!"
After not saying a word for two minutes, Hermione thought she'd best say something quick.
"It's – it's just - wow," Hermione gushed, "it's stunning. Couldn't be any more perfect. Thank you so much Gin, only you could have thought of this! Goodness, you've planned so much! I can't ever say how much it means to me. Thank you babe."
She pulled her maid-of-honour into a rib-cracking hug and followed the group of slaggy Dumbledore's half-skipping, half-jogging towards the ship, waiting for them by the riverside.
"I present to you the first of many adventures tonight!" Ginny declared, and made an extravagant and unnecessary gesture to the gigantic ship shadowing behind them.
Alicia turned to Luna and Cho, the two Ravenclaw's.
"What does 'Tourjours Pur' mean? It's written on the side – look…"
She nodded to the front of the boat where the words were printed in elegant, gold, swirly letters.
Luna smiled knowingly, "Oh, of course! It's French for always pure. I believe it's the Noble and Ancient family of Blacks motto."
"But what's it doing on the side of the ship-?" Alicia's said, but was cut off.
"WELCOME ABOARD DUMBLEWHORE'S!" a loud, London cockney voice boomed from somewhere above them, "you are all looking very splendid this evening it has to be said – incidentally have any of you got a phone number-?"
"SHUT IT RODDERS YOU BLOODY PLONKER! Apologies ladies…" another man spoke in an equally strong cockney accent, "I'm DEL BOY, and this is… well – this muppet is Rodney."
The girls giggled gleefully, realising that they were pretending to be the characters from the hilarious muggle comedy 'Only Fools and Horses'. They glanced around them, looking for a sign of where the voices were coming from. Two dark figures emerged on top deck.
"We are your conductors for this evening! Come aboard darlin's!"
They each were immediately handed a glass of champagne, which they all took eagerly. Del Boy nudged on the vintage record player with his elbow, which started playing 'Build Me Up Buttercup' by the Foundations and winked at the girls as they squealed and broke into an exaggerated chorus.
"WHY DO YA BUILD ME UP-"
"BUTTERCUP BABY JUST TO LET ME DOWN-"
"LET ME DOWN-"
"AND MESS ME AROUND AND WORST OF ALL-"
"WORST OF ALL-"
"YOU NEVER GO BABY WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL-"
"SAY YOU WILL-"
"BUT I NEED YOU STILL-"
"I NEED YOU!"
"I NEED YOU!"
"MORE THAN ANYONE DARLIN'-"
"YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE FROM THE START-"
"SO BUILD ME UP… BUTTERCUP-"
"DON'T BREAK MY HEART!"
Ten minutes later, Hermione, Ginny and Luna left the others to explore the ship. Hermione doubted they would have even noticed their absence. The remaining chicks were preoccupied with their comical hosts, Del Boy and Rodney; the last thing the three girls heard as they ran the length of the deck was Parvarti pointing out that they looked and sounded extremely like the characters on telly and Lavender smacking her across the head and saying that was the point.
"I wish daddy could have seen this boat," Luna said, dreamily caressing the rich wooden walls of the cabins as she passed them, "he would have been very impressed. He may have even written a column about it for next month's edition."
Ginny wasn't listening to her. Her forehead was pressed against the cold glass of a circular window, her prying eyes looking inside the cabin.
Hermione glanced back at her friends still surrounding the two men and back to Ginny again.
"What on earth are you doing?" she asked her, trying to peer through the window too.
Ginny turned around and looked at her, a mischievous grin smacking her lips.
"This, Hermione babe, is the Captain's cabin. Fancy steering the ship?"
Hermione gasped as her maid of honour kicked the door open with surprising strength and pulled her in after her, laughing wildly as she did so, totally unaware that her champagne glass was sloshing all down her purple dress.
"Oh good God, you're already drunk!" Hermione accused her.
"As you should be!" Ginny loudly replied, "It's your hen party girl! Get fucking DOWN!"
Hermione couldn't help but laugh outright at her, knowing that it would be Ginny that would be getting down any minute. On the floor.
"Ginny, you're spilling your drink," Luna interjected as she sucked happily on an orange juice carton.
"Why don't you lick it up for me babe? At least then you would be consuming some fucking alcohol," Ginny teased.
Hermione shook her head at Luna and rolled her eyes. Ginny always became quite boisterous when she had drunk too much. She was the only person she knew who could squeeze the word fuck into a sentence multiple times and get away with it.
"Right, let's steer this motherfucking ship into along the river fucking Thames fuck yeeaahhh?"
Hermione and Luna didn't need any more encouraging. They lunged for the white wheel, which was huge and wooden and could fit ten pairs of hands on. They fell silent as Luna scuttled around the helm and started the engine. It wasn't surprising she knew. Luna was as clever as Hermione. Sharing a look, the three girls grasped a handle of the wheel and began to steer as the ship gradually began to pick up speed. They were quiet as they each stared ahead out the window, observing the river stretched out in front of them and no doubt thinking of different things. Hermione smiled softly, as she curled her fingers around the glossy wood of the wheel. It was exactly like the one in the Titanic. She swore loudly in her head for thinking that. Straight away it made her think of Sirius.
How ridiculous it was that here she was, on the night of her Hen Party, possibly on one of the most gorgeous boats in Britain with her ten best girlfriends, and still her mind seemed to wander to Sirius. He was like poison seeping through cracks to her. She couldn't get away from him, no matter how far she ran. He would always find his way back to her. She had never felt so frustrated in her life. He refused to disappear from her mind.
Sirius Black still wasn't out of her system.
She found herself gripping the handle of the wheel so tight her knuckles had clenched white.
She refused to allow herself to think about him again this evening. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that.
As far as she was concerned, the only connection that the two of them shared was their son, and that was it.
Hermione was pulled from her thoughts with the bang of the door.
"OH, there you three are!" Tonks panted clutching her stomach but grinning all the same, "steering the ship…"
She let out a horrified flitter of laughter and beckoned them towards her.
"Two other er – hosts – have arrived Herms," she informed her, shooting a knowing glance at Ginny.
"And who are they?" she asked, allowing herself to be pulled by two arms (one Ginny, one Tonks), along the deck. Luna was skipping along happily next to her, humming.
"I think we'll allow them to introduce themselves," Tonks replied, pursing her lips to stop herself from laughing.
"-but before we do that," Cho sang, as she approached them, "get these bad boys down you!"
She practically shoved two shots of smoking firewhiskey into her open hands.
"Down after three…" she dared her.
"You need to do some as well!" Hermione cried, eyeing the two glasses of green liquid and feeling that she had somehow drawn the short straw.
"That's what we've been doing, lovey!" a cockney voice which belonged to Rodney called.
"Get them down ya and you'll loosen right up," Del boy added, smiling broadly and flashing a golden tooth.
"3…" They all shouted.
"2…"
She shakily raised the first glass.
"1!"
It came into contact with her lips and she knocked it back, the liquid burning her tongue as it slid down her throat. It was so strong! She batted a hand around her eyes as they watered.
"And the other!" Lavender yelled, overjoyed that Hermione was finally becoming rebellious.
Again, she brought the second glass to her lips and again she knocked it back. This time, swallowing down the fiery liquid before she gagged.
Everyone cheered, and a ball of limbs tangled together as they all group hugged. Their voices shouting that little bit louder as they slowly became more intoxicated.
"Tell me Lav," Hermione asked her in what she assumed to be her normal speaking voice, "why have I gone all – you know – floaty? I mean, I love my wine as much as the next girl, but that – that stuff was strong!"
"I know sweetheart, it's a little stronger than wine. Its firewhiskey," Lavender shouted in her ear, "and it's 38 percent alcohol!"
The rhythmic chanting started up again as Tonks did two shots, which resulted in her losing her balance and falling flat on her bum for the second time that evening.
"May I be of assistance?" a man growled in her ear.
Tonks slowly looked up at the man, almost fearfully.
Ginny snorted in laughter, a flung an unsteady arm around the intruder.
"Girls, quieten down, quieten down!" she bellowed over the many voices, "This is our very own MAD-EYE MOODY, looking very ravishing in that beige overcoat… and with him-"
"I can introduce myself thank you," came a drawling voice from the shadows.
Goose bumps surfaced Hermione's skin just at the sound. The chicks all looked around at one another, completely gobsmacked. It couldn't be-
"Severus Snape."
The man said coldly, stepping out of the shadows, his black eyes swivelling round at them all, the exact smug look plastered across his face which Hermione had seen so many times before on the real man himself.
"You look awfully like both of them," Alicia squeaked.
Tonks was still eyeing Mad-Eye as if he was a giant who had asked her for a cup of tea.
Ginny laughed shrilly and bounded over to Severus.
"These are actors," she explained to them, "trained actors. A friend of mine knew them and booked them for this special night. Only…" she pulled none-too-gently on Severus's cheek, much to his displeasure, and turned back to the gawping group, "only they have drunk Polyjuice potion, and so they actually are in the bodies of our old friends!"
Severus nodded curtly.
"How did you get their hairs?" Katie exclaimed.
Ginny pretended to yawn, "The order. Each of us had to have a few strand of hairs locked away in a safe in case of an emergency. Dad always said how helpful it was… blah… blah…blah…"
"And why are they here?" Lavender asked, her voice much happier once she realised that Severus Snape, however much he looked like him – wasn't the actual Severus Snape.
Ginny opened her mouth to speak but Snape held up a hand to stop her.
"Ladies, for tonight, you shall be thrilled to know I am sure, that we men, Mad-Eye and I will be entertaining you all in the greatest way possible."
"Making potions?" Parvarti mused.
"No," he replied, some-what amused with the comment, "we are in fact…"
"Your strippers," Mad-Eye nodded, his swivelling eye fixed on the pink-haired witch in front of him.
All the girl's reactions were more or less the same.
Alicia dropped the glass she was holding. Angelina clapped her hand to her mouth in utter horror; Lavender hurtled towards the side of the ship, followed by the sounds of violent retching and Hermione just screamed.
Screamed and screamed and screamed.
"THEY ARE OUR FORMER PROFESSORS!" she shrieked, rounding on Ginny, "OUR FORMER DEAD PROFESSORS!"
"Hence the reason you need to drink up," Ginny nodded, unfazed by Hermione's drunken complaints and thrusting another shot into her hand.
"I DO NOT WANT TO SEE SNAPE OR MAD-EYE'S SHRIVELLED LITTLE WILLY'S!" she screeched.
Luna giggled into her hand and fell silent when Hermione glared at her.
"Excuse me? Shrivelled? Miss Granger, do not assume that just because I am not a young spawn that it is shrivelled. And as for little? Well, now-"
Hermione couldn't mentally listen to the man anymore. She turned to Ginny helplessly.
"Is this really happening? Did Severus Snape – the Severus Snape just tell me that he thinks he has a sizable manhood?"
Ginny laughed and hugged her briefly.
"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity babe," she whispered, "we'll just enjoy ourselves and have a great time. Their little show we'll be over before you know it, and we'll be heading off to the London Eye!"
Hermione smiled weakly and downed another shot of firewhisky.
Angelina danced towards the record player and notched it up so loud the music could be heard pumping from the top of the Tower of London.
Ginny scuttled over to her and murmured something in her ear, which Angelina nodded to.
A minute later, 'Here Comes The Sun' by the Beatles hit Hermione's ears. Her favourite song of all time.
Del Boy and Rodney were making their way around the group, handling two trays of champagne again, and insisting everyone take one.
Ginny tapped her glass and everyone fell silent and turned to look at her.
"Girls and guys, young and old-" she smirked at Snape and Mad-Eye, "and everyone else, tonight is my best friend's Hen Party, as you all know. Hermione is amazing in every way. She is a genius, a brilliant mum, a damn bloody beautiful woman and an all-round good egg," she smiled, "Merlin knows she deserves all the happiness in the world, and I hope with my heart you get it babe. Good luck for tomorrow, Oliver doesn't know what a lucky man he is! To Hermione!"
She raised her glass high in the air, everyone following suite.
"Hermione!" they chorused, lifting their glasses to the stars and drinking deeply.
Twenty minutes later, Hermione was somehow straddling Del Boy on a bench on deck as she sprayed whipped cream over his chest. At least she thought it was his chest. Her sight had gone all blurry from the shots and champagne.
"What is this I'm spraying on you?" she asked, bewildered.
"Whipped cream, pet," was his response.
"Ooooh," she cooed, "Is it creamy?"
"Well if it isn't you've been ripped off darlin'."
Hermione giggled and lowered her head to kiss him. She didn't know why she did it. She just felt like it.
"Oh there you are Hermione!" Tonks shouted very loudly, yanking her roughly from Del's clutches and pulling her up deck once more. She felt so floaty now all her body parts seemed to only be working half-heartedly.
Hermione would thank her pink-haired friend forever more for saving her from that cockney bloke. She led the bride-to-be to the rest of the group, all of whom were gathering at the front of the ship where a large, grand stage had been erected from thin air. They all appeared to be waiting for something.
"What's going on?" Hermione slurred.
"You'll see!" Ginny smiled slyly, probably slurring equally as much as she was.
"Any minute now…"
Trumpets, trombones and saxophones began to play from the corner of the stage, the musician's eyes transfixed on music sheets in front of them. In her intoxication, Hermione hadn't even noticed them there.
'Baby take off your coat…'
Came the music, pumping from the speakers.
The women screamed in excitement and began clapping their hands.
Mad-Eye jumped out from behind a white piano, wearing a shiny black tuxedo suit and top hat; completing the 60's look smoking from a pipe. He suggestively slithered out of his jacket, his swivelling eye again, fixed on Tonks.
'Baby take off your shoes…'
Snape, much to the amusement of the chicks, smoothly moon-walked out from behind a white post. He was wearing the same as Mad-Eye, except puffing on a cigar instead of a pipe. He shot them his sexiest Professor look, and kicked off his Italian leather shoes.
Hermione burst out laughing as he winked at her. For the umpteenth time that night, she had to question her sanity.
'Baby take off your dress…'
Before Hermione could process the words, her two former professors pounced on her, pushing her robe from her shoulders. She slammed her eyes shut in mortification as two sets of hands roamed her body eagerly.
The other chicks screamed louder - some roaring with laughter, others whooping.
"THIS IS SO WRONG!" she yelled, laughing all the same.
They had managed to somehow slip her out of her purple Dumblewhore dress (Hermione was convinced they had used a spell), and was now standing in front of everyone in her red lace underwear and stockings. All the red-blooded males in the world would have stopped dead in that moment. Del Boy's mouth dropped and it was evident his pupils had dilated.
"Del Boy's got a stiff wand," Katie announced giddily, jabbing a finger towards his bulging crotch.
Ginny nudged Rodney to take a picture of Hermione on her muggle camera she had brought along. Rodney was only too happy to oblige. She hastily snatched it off him when he crouched to snap the twelfth.
'You can leave your hat on…'
Mad-Eye and Snape started unbuttoning their shirts, the screams of the girls growing louder as they impatiently ripped the rest open resulting in buttons popping off in all directions and rolling down the deck. They giggled impossibly harder.
"Snape's chest isn't too bad!" she heard Cho yell in Tonks's ear.
"Neither is Mad-Eye's!" she yelled back, grinning ear-to-ear.
You should see Sirius's. Hermione found herself thinking, before remembering that she had forbidden herself to think about him. She gulped down the last of her shot hastily and Ginny raised her eyebrows at her. She shook her head and continued to watch the steamy performance. The two men were now rubbing their lightly haired chests, and pinching their nipples.
Angelina roared with laughter and collapsed backwards into Rodney's waiting arms either from too much drink or lack of breath from laughing; Hermione wasn't sure.
'You can leave your hat on…'
Their fingers proceeded to the belts of the trousers, which they whipped off quickly and swung around their heads saucily before chucking them coolly into the audience. Through her sharp giggles, Hermione felt hot hands on her waist. A pit of dread mounted in her stomach.
Del Boy.
"Will you leave your hat on?" he said huskily to her in what she presumed was an attempt to sound sexy and appealing. She could feel his erection pressing against her bottom.
She wriggled away from his grasp and spun around.
"Will you leave your pants on?" she snapped.
Luna chuckled breathlessly from behind her, laughing woozily into her ear. Hermione smirked to herself. She had obviously swapped the orange juice for a stronger alternative.
'You can leave your hat on…'
Now their trousers were off. Their two former professors posed enthusiastically with only bright red briefs on which didn't leave much to the imagination. They were so tight you could see the outline of their manhood's without even squinting.
"Snape has really hairy legs!" Luna observed.
"Shit-a-brick I can't watch!" Tonks shrilled.
Mad-Eye shot his head to stare at her with both eyes. He didn't look away.
"Someone's getting some tonight!" Cho laughed, intending to nudge Tonks in the rib but instead knocking over Alicia's drink, "Mad-Eye's set his sights on you! Literally," she added, grinning.
"Oh, per-lease Cho! He was like a dad to me before he died!"
"Exactly, you said it so yourself. Before he died. Not now."
"My boyfriend is a werewolf. You better watch it. He might accidentally bite your head off."
The men took off their hats and placed them over their crotches. With teasing, suggestive smiles, the red briefs were off and flung into the group of girls. Snape's landed on Hermione.
"GET THEM OFF ME!" she shrieked, and flung the pair of pants behind her so fast it made her head ache.
You can guess where Mad-Eye's landed.
"Remus is not going to be happy…" was all Tonks said.
'You can leave your hat on…'
Simultaneously, they all clapped her hands over her eyes. They all knew what was coming next, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be a pleasant experience. Ginny made them all watch.
"No! No! NO! LISTEN TO THE SONG! LEAVE YOUR HATON!" Hermione wailed drunkenly.
Too late.
The girls all screamed ear-splittingly as the twosome winked and flung their hats off into the air. They landed in the river and started to float off, but no one seemed to care where they landed. They weren't looking in that direction.
"Oh – my – GOD!"
"Wow," Lavender gasped, clearly impressed.
"They can't be real!" Parvarti exclaimed.
"Mine's much bigger," Del Boy commented casually through the horrified bursts of laughter the girls were currently gripped in.
"Tonks and Mad-Eye, you're up next!" Del Boy called from a microphone up on the stage; he jumped down, throwing them a wink when the twosome passed him. It could have been a wink of good luck, or a wink at Tonks, or a wink at Moody – for not five minutes ago, everyone had stripped to their underwear. Somewhere along the way Hermione's Hen Party had become a night of mingling. She had just stumbled past Rodney and Angelina getting down and dirty in a lifeboat in the back of the ship and Parvarti and Cho kissing too!
She couldn't deny that one knocked her for six.
Hermione sipped the 'Sex on the Beach' cocktail as she watched them dizzily approach the stage; she had to drink it fast because it calmed her nerves. They would be arriving at the London Eye in ten minutes, and she hated heights. She was brought back to Earth as she faintly heard a phone ringing in one of the cabins.
"Gin, there's a phone ringing. In the Captain's cab-"
"SHHH!"
She realised why she was hushing her. The twosome had taken their positions up on stage.
Mad-Eye grabbed the microphone so aggressively he nearly knocked it over. He flashed a cheesy grin at the witch beside him before singing:
"Summer lovin' had me a blast."
She grinned at him, "Summer lovin' happened so fast."
"I met a girl, crazy for me."
"I met a boy, cute as can be."
They both looked at each other, their faces glowing in the moonlight.
"Summer days, drifting away to uh-oh to those summer nights…"
Everyone jumped on stage, "OH WELL A-WELL-A-WELL-A-HUH!"
"Tell me more, tell me more," the girls sang.
"DID YOU GET VERY FAR?" Snape bellowed.
Ginny snorted with laughter.
"Tell me more, tell me more…"
"LIKE DID HE HAVE A CAR?" he roared, right in Hermione's face.
She jumped back, feeling genuinely frightened.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh huh…"
Tonks giggled the microphone again.
"He got friendly, holding my hand."
Moody winked, "while she got friendly down in the sand."
"He was sweet, just turned eighteen."
The girls laughed. Eighteen going on eighty more like…
"Well she was good, you know what I mean?"
"Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights…"
"Tell me more, tell me more…"
"HOW MUCH DOUGH DID YOU SPEND?" Snape barked.
"Tell me more, tell me more…"
"COULD SHE GET ME A FRIEND?"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh huh…"
"It turned colder, that's where it ends…"
"So I told her, we'd still be friends…"
"Then we made our true love vow…"
"Wonder what she's doing now…"
Moody ran over to her and planted a sloppy kiss on a stunned Tonks's lips.
"Summer dreams, ripped at the seams, but uh-oh, those summer nights…!"
"OH WELL A-WELL-A-WELL-A-HUH!"
Five Minutes Later.
"Get in your clothes everyone; we're at the London Eye!" Ginny squealed, clapping her hands and pointing up at the huge, white tourist attraction that had been visited by millions. The Houses of Parliament could be seen just beyond it, along with Big Ben and other skyscrapers, all stretching out to touch the stars.
She turned to Hermione smiling.
"Are you ready to face your fear?"
"Honestly?"
"Honestly."
"I'm shitting myself."
"Oh. They were sexy knickers as well."
Hermione swatted her over the head.
Sirius leant his forehead against the cold glass of red muggle phone box. His nerves were squirming in his stomach like worms under his very skin. Every so often he would glance over his shoulder in paranoia at his local pub behind him, trying to determine the final decision of an everlasting battle in his mind to ring or not to ring. Biting his nails nervously, he punched in the numbers scribbled on a piece of ripped parchment and wait till it started ringing. Sirius found himself muttering 'come on, come on, come on' as he tapped his hand, even though a huge part of him didn't want anyone to pick up. His mind was whirling like a tornado, so many things he had to say and utterly clueless how to say it to her in the little time they had. The phone rang twice, three times, four times, five, to no answer. Six times, seven, eight, nine… still no response.
"I'm sorry but the person you have called is currently unavailable to take your call, please leave your message after the tone," said a posh, clear voice of a woman.
*BEEP*
"H-hello, its Sirius. I just need to speak to Hermione. Mione, Mione… – oh God – am I really leaving you a message? Er – oh shit – I – er - for fucks sake I should never have called in the first place… I'm sorry – I-I-I just wanted to talk to you before the wedding. I didn't know whether you'd be still home or not… but of course you're not. The boat-" Sirius cleared his throat sheepishly, and slammed his eyes shut in horror. This was going terribly. Why was it you always realised it was the worst idea possible when you were halfway through doing it?
"Clearly you aren't around," he mumbled, his voice trailing off, "anyway, I just – just wanted to hear… hear your voice… before – seeing as it may be the last time I'll hear it, and I couldn't – couldn't bear the fault of not seeing you or hearing you speak to me, or even look at me again…" he gnawed at his lip and he rubbed his moist eyes, "I wanted to… I just wanted to know how you are. It feels like an age since I last saw you, yet it's only been three months… and not a second goes by that you aren't on my mind, Mione… Oh – I'm sorry I – I said the wrong thing – look – what I wanted to say is: you're – you're doing the right thing in marrying him… I realise now that… that maybe you and I weren't… meant to be, as I thought we was. I just want you to be h-happy, okay? S'long as you know that, baby. When you get on the boat or – or if you're on it now… throw away the letter I wrote to you in the river. Promise me you will. I-I know that saying 'throw it away' may want you to read it, but please… it won't help you in anyway. Nothing it says you need to hear… if I felt it was so important, I would have told you now…" he glanced back at the pub door and back again, "anyway, I'd best leave you to stun everyone by your beauty. All the best, be happy and take care, Mione. I hope Albert grows to be as lovely as you are. If our son grows to be half the person you are then I will die a happy man," he croaked, his grey eyes welling with stinging tears.
He swallowed hard.
"I love you."
He coughed slightly as hot tears trickled down his cheeks and he breathed in, praying that he would have the courage to hang up the phone.
"I love you Hermione. I always will. Goodbye and good luck baby," he said hoarsely, and slammed it back on the receiver before he could tell himself otherwise.
A/N: Thank you guys for all your support, it's coming up to the last chapters now. Lots of love :)
P.S yes you will read Sirius's letter! PATIENCE CHILDREN!