Hello!

And…I have nothing to say.

ON TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!

She hesitated, her eyes wide with fright. She was pressed against the wall, hidden in the shadows.

"I-Ian," she choked out.

"No," I whispered, feeling like I had been punched in the stomach. "No, Wanderer, I'm not." I thought it might seem better if I used her full name. Her human-given nickname was not for me.

She relaxed slightly, her eyes cooling. "No, you're not."

"I'm sorry about that," I whispered, folding my hands and staring at them.

She took a step forward, and her face instantly melted into an apologetic expression. "No, no. I'm so sorry. That's not what I meant. I just…I just…I just forgot. I'm sorry." Now she looked miserable.

"No, seriously. It's all right," I assured her.

"No, it's really not," she murmured, standing against the wall. "That was mean of me."

"Honestly, you're okay," I tried to tell her.

STOP APOLOGIZING TO EACH OTHER AND TALK.

I tried very hard not to smile.

"You…you're Bending Leaves," she said after an awkward moment of silence.

"They call me Ben here, actually," I told her in a low voice.

She smiled, and then she laughed. "You're a soul. It figures."

"What do you mean?" I asked her, confused.

"Every soul that wanders in these parts gets a nickname," she laughed. "Bending Leaves becomes Ben…Burns Living Flowers became just Burns…Sunlight Passing Through the Ice became Sunny…" She looked down at her hand as her voice became a whisper. "Wanderer became Wanda."

"Do you not like Wanderer?" I asked her, confused at the expression that had crossed her face when she said that.

She shrugged. "Everyone pretty much calls me Wanda now. Wanderer is my name, but it just…it just isn't really appropriate anymore. I was a Wanderer, but this is my planet, and I'm not wandering anymore."

I nodded. "That makes sense." I sighed and leaned against the wall. "Do you…do you mind if I call you that?"

"No, I don't," she said, smiling at me shyly. "I'm assuming that you don't mind if I call you Ben?"

"No, I don't."

I tried hard not to snort.

Wanda sighed and turned to me. "I've got two things on my mind…Ben."

I smiled encouragingly at her, trying to keep her from running away. Even though I thought I already knew what she was going to say.

She sighed. "You're in Ian's body. That means that you've seen all his memories."

I knew that it wasn't a question. "Yes."

"You know who I am. You know everything about me."

"Not everything," I disagreed quietly.

She blinked at me. "Well…you know my…relationship…with Ian, don't you?"

"Yes." Now it was only a whisper.

She sighed. "You saw his last memories, didn't you?"

"Yes." For the third time.

"So you heard him…promise…me…that he would…that he'd…"

She was suddenly sobbing, unable to continue.

"Yes," I said quietly. "He promised you that he would come back."

She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "I'm…sorry," she choked out.

Ian sighed. My Wanda. She apologizes to OTHERS when SHE'S in pain.

"Wanda, it's perfectly all right," I promised her.

Wanda sighed. "Okay, here's the thing. You know that I was put into Melanie's body," she said quietly. "And you know that Melanie didn't disappear. She stayed."

"Yes, she did," I whispered.

Wanda's eyes were filling again, and she struggled to stop crying. "Ben, Ian doesn't break promises from me. So if you're in his body…there's only one thing that could have happened."

I was fidgeting pretty badly at this point.

"Ben." She smiled at some inside joke. "Is Ian still in there?"

Why is she smiling?

Jamie asked her the same exact thing about Melanie…oh, please, Ben, tell her I'm in here, please! Please tell her! He was abruptly begging, desperate, growing stronger by the second.

I fought to contain him, but he suddenly surged forward with all his strength. To my astonishment, he broke through my control.

"Wanda!" he gasped through our mouth. I felt squashed, cramped, crushed. "Wanda. I'm here. I'm still in here. I promised I'd come back."

She blinked in astonishment. "Ian?" she whispered, her voice filled with light and hope.

"I'm here, Wanda. I promised. I love you. I love you, too," he gasped.

Then he got pulled back into the corner of our mind, and I was back in control.

"Ian!" Wanda cried. "He IS in there!" Then she was crying again, but she was crying with happiness. "Ian, I love you, too. I missed you so much."

What do you want to tell her?

Tell her that I missed her, too.

"He missed you, too," I whispered to her.

She blinked. "Oh, Ben, is that you again?"

"Yeah, it's me." My voice was filled with weariness.

"Was that…was that Ian talking to me just a minute ago?" She sounded as though she was barely daring to hope.

"Yeah, it was." I tried to sound happier, more upbeat, but the joy in her expression crumbled my own happiness in return.

I wanted her to love me so badly.

Back off! She's mine. She'll always be mine.

I flinched away from Ian's harsh words before I became aware of the pain that was filling him to the brim from being in control of himself again, finally, and then having that ripped away once more. He was hurting, so he had lashed out at me. When I had done the same thing, he had forgiven me. I had to return that favor.

I'm truly sorry, Ian. I'm trying to stop these feelings, but I just can't help it.

No…it's okay. Tell her that I love her more than anything.
"He loves you," I told her. "He loves you so much."

She smiled. "I love you, too, Ian," she whispered, her entire face lighting up. "Always have. Always will." She hesitated, and then leaned into my side. "I knew you'd come back."

Of course. I promised I would.

I repeated his words to her.

"Ben, I cannot thank you enough for taking care of my Ian," she said suddenly, tilting her head back to smile at me fondly.

"Oh…I…it wasn't a big deal. It was nothing," I muttered.

She gently touched my arm, and her fingers sent an electric current through my body. Ian flinched.

"No," she said quietly. "It was much more than nothing."

We stared at each other for a long moment until I couldn't bear it anymore.

"You…do you…you don't hate me for being in his body?" I blurted out at last.

She smiled warmly at me. She seemed to have almost…expected the question.

"No, Ben, I don't," she murmured. "It wouldn't be fair. I know how that feels, remember?"

I gave her a questioning look.

"When I first came to the caves," she explained, "Jared and Sharon and Maggie and a few of the others who were particularly close to Melanie were very aggressive toward me because I was in Melanie's body. But there wasn't anything I could do about it; I was in a hibernation tank in deep space when that decision was made. It wasn't my fault. I didn't choose the body I was put into. I know how it feels to be blamed for something that isn't your fault, and it doesn't feel good, does it?"

"No," I murmured, trying to keep back tears now. "Kyle does it to me…I can't blame him, though."

She rubbed my shoulder. "No, we can't blame the people that are aggressive toward us because of our bodies," she murmured, sounding much older and wiser than her little body showed. "It's not their fault, either. They've lost someone that they love, and while that isn't our fault, we have to let them grieve."

"Yeah," I whispered. "That's…that's good advice, Wanda."

She shrugged. "I've been around for quite a while," she said softly. "It just goes to show that I'd have some good advice for people." She flashed a smile up at me.

Then she rubbed angrily at her cheeks, where tears were starting to flow down again.

"I'm really sorry," she murmured. "Gosh…I must look hideous right now."

But I took in her face and thought that she had never been more beautiful.

I had to tell her that, but I couldn't tell her that it was MY thoughts.

"No," I disagreed quietly. "Ian thinks that you've never been more beautiful."

She blushed. "Thanks, baby," she murmured. To Ian.

Tell her I love her. Please.

I already did.

Tell her again!

"He wants me to let you know, yet again, that he really does love you," I told her, trying to keep the sarcastic edge out of my voice.

She grinned at my tone. "Tell him that I love him, too, and not to overdo it, please."

Tell her that I've missed out on two years. It's about time I got some of it in.

I laughed and relayed the message, and she laughed, too.

"Now, there was just one thing that I wanted to talk to you about, other than that," she whispered after we stopped laughing.

I winced. I thought I knew what she was going to say next.

"Has Ian been…keeping…anything from you?"

I blinked. That wasn't it.

"Well, yes, actually," I said in a low voice. "He's been keeping something pretty big from me, actually. I don't know…I don't know what it is, though…"

She seemed a bit relieved, but I didn't know why.

"I'll have to go and tell Jamie," I heard her mutter to herself.

"So it DOES have something to do with Jamie?" I interrupted eagerly.

She blinked and mashed her lips together, looking horrified and guilty.

"Um…no," she muttered,

Dang, she IS a bad liar.

Disgruntled, Ian didn't reply.

I sighed. "I still don't know what your big secret is."

She smiled a little bit, but tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said thickly. "I'm just…I'm just so happy to see Ian again."

Every cell of my body was pulling me toward her, yearning for her. I wanted her. I needed her.

She looked up at me, and her expression became abruptly disconcerted. "Ben? Are…are you okay?"

And then I was kissing her.

I don't know what happened—I just lost control. I was wrapped around her, gasping her name, trying to get as close to her as possible. It was so incredible, beyond what I'd ever hoped to imagine. She was beautiful and wonderful and real.

STOP IT! STOP IT! DON'T! NO! STOP IT NOW! BEN, STOP IT! Ian roared in my head, fighting hard. Let go of her NOW!

I was struck by a sudden thought. Was Wanda enjoying this like I was?

Ian froze, paralyzed with horror.

Suddenly, though, she put both her hands on my chest and shoved, hard. I broke away from her and fell back on the mattress, gasping.

"Wanda, I…I…" I choked out, no words able to express what had just happened.

"No…it's…f-f—," She was gasping, crying, trying to force the word "fine" out. But she couldn't do it. It wasn't fine. It wasn't fine at all, and I knew it. She was trying to make me feel better even when she was in agony herself. It wasn't fine. She couldn't say it.

So she did the only thing that she could instead. She shoved herself to her feet and ran from the room.